Strawberry Wine
by kas90
Summary: When Bella goes back to NC to help her sick uncle, she runs into the boy who she fell in love with when she was 17. But what exactly happened that summer? Will they ever get their HEA? COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

**AN: **

**Welcome to my new fic! It is loosely based off of the song **_**Strawberry Wine**_** by Deana Carter. It will be a little different than traditional fics – the chapters will alternate between 1987 and 2010. **

**SparklingTwilight – Jersey – thank you for your intense beta job, and Lizzylillyrose thank you for prereading! **

**All things Twilight belong to Stephanie Meyer and the song Strawberry Wine belongs to Deana Carter. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**Prologue **

**June 2010**

It's sad how usually our first love and our first heartbreak coincide with each other. Young, pure emotions shattered by the realities of life. It's not fair how we scar the emotions of our first romance with the pain of its ending. Our first love is supposed to be a monumental movement, a transition of sorts between the innocence of childhood and the demands of being an adult.

But I wondered, as I made my way back to the place where it all began, what really stuck with us more? Was the heart shaped by the cracks of past broken relationships, or was it formed delicately by those who have showed us love?

Life has a way of moving along without our consent. It doesn't pause, rewind, or fast forward. It has its own schedule, one that we must abide by. Fighting time isn't an option. But I have learned that time and life aren't at battle with each other. Life, fate, destiny are all set in time…and it all works out for us in the end.

Throughout my life, I have chosen to believe that love, in all forms, is a part of our destiny. He was a part of my destiny…even if only in the form of shaping my heart, molding my life as my one and only first love. He would always be my first…the question, however, that has burned in the back of my mind since I was seventeen years old was, would he be my last?

**Chapter 1**

_**June, 1987**_

It seemed like an almost immediate difference, crossing over the state line into North Carolina. The sun seemed to glow brighter and the grass grew greener. The seemingly endless stretches of highway gave view to the different country sides of this part of the south. The scene displayed from the view of my rolled down passenger window was in stark contrast to the place where I called home.

The atmosphere in northern Ohio had a continuous gray covering, the sun only making its appearance on special occasions. Not North Carolina, though…this place, I'd had a feeling, could shine with the warmth of the sun forever.

U2's, _With or Without You_, streamed brokenly through the speakers of my mom's beat up VW bug. Both of our bags were piled high in the back seat, making it impossible to see a lick of gravel outside the rearview mirror.

"How much longer?" I asked my mom, who was busy singing the lyrics of the song playing.

"What's that, dear?" she asked.

"How much longer until we get to Uncle Charlie's?" I asked again.

Renee flimsily checked her watch, almost causing the car to drive off the side of the road in the process. "Another three hours or so. Just lay your head back and relax—we'll be there soon enough."

I sighed, resting my chin in my hand that was propped up on the side of the door. There was no way I could while she was driving. Chances were that if I wasn't conscious of keeping her focused, I would awake in a ditch somewhere, scrapped together with a pile of metal.

"Do you have any big plans set for when you arrive there?" Renee questioned.

"Um," I mumbled. "Not really, Mom."

"You should maybe go into town, find some nice boys to hang out with."

"Go into town? What is this, 1940? Should I wear a cherry printed dress and bright red lipstick?"

"Don't get smart with me, Isabella. I just don't want you to isolate yourself while you're here. It will be a really long three months by yourself in Charlie's old house. You're seventeen, get out of the house and enjoy being young."

I scoffed, taking my eyes off of my mother and placing them back on the green acres of land. "I like isolating myself. Isolation can be a good thing," I mumbled under my breath, for my own benefit, really. Renee was already off in her own little world, our conversation already miles behind her.

Part of me was glad to get out of my hometown of Mayfield, Ohio. The only thing I was leaving behind there was a nice, neat pile of drama. I was happy to put away the whole Bella-Ben-Angela disaster, even if it was only for three months. I reminded myself that I only had one year left of high school before the 'real world' began, and hopefully, by that time, things would have blown over quite smoothly.

My Uncle Charlie was my mom's brother, and thankfully, only sibling. He lived in the confines of Clayton, North Carolina, which consisted of Buck's Stop n' Go, the combined elementary, middle, and high school, and a grand ol' water tower that sat proudly in their sad excuse of a downtown. The rest of the town was dominated by all sorts of farmland, extending its never ending reach.

These hadn't always been my summer plans, but mom had insisted that we do a cross-country road trip with her new boyfriend, Phil. And frankly, the idea of spending three months trapped in the car with my mother had sounded like death on a stick. The nine hour ride it took to get to Clayton was torturous enough.

**XXX**

Renee tossed out the last bud of her cigarette as she rolled up the long gravel driveway leading up to Uncle Charlie's old, white farmhouse. The siding was in dire need of a serious paint job, and the fence up front needed mending. My uncle was a decently young man, only a few years older than my mom, but most of his time was spent with his horses. He never married; instead his life was consumed by his precious animals. They raced professionally, earning him enough money over the years to build up his land. He also took care of breeding them, and occasionally, offered lessons to the fellow townsfolk.

_Townsfolk,_ I scoffed. What a southern thing to say.

I flung the door open as soon as the car came to a stop, and I breathed in the thick summer air. _Wow, it's hot,_ I thought immediately. I looked around in wonder; it had been years since I'd been to visit my Uncle Charlie, and I was looking forward to spending time with him. His place had been a really big part of my childhood when my dad died.

My head turned at the sound of an old truck turning up the path of the drive. Its muddy tires and dirty blue exterior fit in perfectly to the surroundings, but the music thumping loudly from the vehicle made it clear that it was definitely not my uncle driving. The truck passed us, heading directly out back towards the stables before I could get a glance at the person behind the wheel.

The high pitched call of a whistle made me whip my head around, and I saw Uncle Charlie walking down the front steps of his house over to where I stood.

"There's my favorite girl!" he exclaimed, trotting over in a plaid button down and muddy overalls.

"Uncle Charlie!" I met him halfway and flung my arms around him, breathing in the smell of cotton mixed with grits and manure. _It was good to be back,_ I thought happily. His rough hands grazed my bare back since my tank top was tied in a knot about halfway up my stomach. He eyed me warily after the embrace, and I could already feel the clothing lecture forming in his thick head.

We made our quick hellos and carried my bags in and upstairs to the only bedroom on the second floor. It consisted of a double bed that squeaked like church bells on a Sunday morning, and had a wooden desk with a single lamp placed on top. Obviously, the room hadn't been utilized since I had stayed there last. I blew the dust off of the desk before I placed my bags on top, then turned to open the side window. The hinges groaned in protest as I pried open the sealed outlet, but finally, it opened, even if just a crack, and fresh southern air filled the stuffy space.

A figure caught my eye before I turned away to go back downstairs. Apparently, whoever had been driving the truck from earlier was also helping out Charlie with the horses. His back was facing me, and I took notice of how tall he was, thin too, with broad shoulders and a dirty ball cap that covered his hair. His jeans were dirty and his boots made deep imprints into the soft mud.

"Bella," Renee's voice brought me out of my inspection, and I headed down the stairs in response.

"Come on, give your ma' a hug before I head out." She opened her arms up for me as I walked into the kitchen.

I hugged her back tightly, already missing her and her crazy ways. Renee was still doing her cross-country road trip idea, and she was meeting Phil in Georgia later tonight.

"I'll miss you, Mom," I told her honestly.

"I'll miss you, too, baby. And don't go giving your uncle here any heart attacks, but get out and have some fun, too, okay?"

I smiled before I hugged her again. "Okay."

"Well big brother, my mini-me is all yours, take care of her for me," she relayed, reaching over to hug Uncle Charlie.

"Always, Renee. Go have fun, but come back to us in one piece!"

She laughed and patted his shoulder. "I'll try my best."

She gave me one last kiss and was out the door, the start of the engine humming in the distance.

"So what do you want for dinner, kid? I got baked-beans nuking, 'slaw is in the fridge, and I got some fresh pulled-pork from Ted yesterday."

I smiled timidly and went over the kitchen sink to wash my hands. "That all sounds great, Uncle Charlie. Is it…um…just going to be, uh, us…for dinner tonight?" I asked, mentally referring to the guy I saw working out by the horses.

He looked at me strangely. "Of course it's just us. Who else would be here?" he questioned.

Blush rose up in my cheeks as I dried my hands off with the towel hanging off the oven. "No one, just curious."

"Alrighty, then…I'll get the beer."

I laughed and pulled out some plates as Charlie headed out to the garage. Some things just never changed.

**XXX**

Sleep that night didn't claim me quickly, which isn't what I had hoped for. My new room was impossibly hot, and the night time chill did nothing to ease my distress. Earlier that evening, I had managed to pry the window entirely open, but the only thing that had done for me was allowed the mosquitoes to feast openly on my bare skin as the crickets put on a collaborated musical performance for my unappreciative ears.

Clayton was so unlike Mayfield that it made my usually optimistic heart hurt with the nostalgia of cool bed linens and a mom to say goodnight to. I tried to push the thoughts away, steadying myself in my original decision to come here. The following day would be a fresh start; I could ride my bike down to the Neuse River, stop and buy some paint for the sides of the house, and maybe even ride old Betty, my favorite horse, across the dry fields out back.

When I awoke, I could start a new day, blissfully taking advantage of what southern summers had to offer…

**XXX**

"How did you sleep last night, darlin'?" Charlie asked, all too cheery as I made my way into the kitchen the next morning.

I gave him the stink eye.

"Uh," he stammered. "Maybe we can stop by Buck's and get you a fan to put in your room."

My scowl lessened.

"Okay, then, add that to the list to do today! You drink coffee?"

I nodded my head and forced my feet to bring me over to the coffee pot, my exhaustion feeling like a twenty pound weight dragging behind me. Sadly, the sweet aroma and caffeine magic didn't do its wonders on my tired body, and by two o'clock, I was still beat.

I changed into my cutoff jean shorts and tied my bathing suit top around my chest. I grabbed a blanket off my bed, placed my sunglasses securely on my face, and picked up my book before making my way outside. I figured I might as well take advantage of a sunny day.

I laid my belongings down right beside the old oak tree in the yard close to the stables. I could hear the horses from my position, and I used them to fill the drowning silence of the vast open land. I had full intentions of reading, having propped myself up against the tree, but when I jumped suddenly from the noise of a car, I realized I must have dozed off. My eyes caught a glimpse of that same blue truck from the day before leaving the premises. I groaned internally…that meant that the same guy I saw working with the horses from my bedroom window had to have seen me laying out. I was too close to the stables to miss. I was sure I looked just peachy, too, half naked and drooling in my sleep. _Lovely._

"Bella, dinner's about ready!" Charlie called from the back porch. I motioned my hand to him in acknowledgement and gathered myself.

Dinner was quiet and much the same as the night before. Uncle Charlie cooked up another southern specialty—which would take some getting used to, by the way—and we both ate in the living room, watching whatever baseball game was on TV.

"So are you planning on going to the fair tonight?"

"Fair?" I looked over at him stretched out in his armchair comfortably.

"Yeah, the Johnston County Fair. They have it every year about this time."

"Uh, I wasn't planning on it." _Fair?_ I was still trying to wrap my head around the word. People still went to those?

"You should go. It will make your mother happy if you get out of the house a bit."

"Out of the house? Uncle Charlie, I have been here just over 24 hours and you're kicking me out already?" I laughed.

"I'm not kicking you out, baby, I just want you to go out…meet friends. You're a young girl, enjoy your summer."

I sighed heavily. "Yeah, sure, I'll go. Where is it at?"

"Right up 42, down from Cleveland School Road."

"Uhhh, right. Got it," I lied. I smiled to make Charlie happy, and when I found myself lost on an old dirt road, riding my bike around like an idiot later that night, my smile might have faded just a tad.

I cursed the high trees, the damn bugs, and the deer that pounced around like jolly folk. My legs were tired from pumping the pedals across the gravel roads, and all I really wanted to do was head home.

I all about cried when I finally spotted the blessed Ferris Wheel and its rapidly blinking lights. Once I arrived, I chained my bike to the bike rack and bought a ticket before walking inside to the…extravaganza. I had never been to a fair; the loud music, smell of fried food, and death traps disguised as rides took me by surprise. The atmosphere buzzed with excitement, and I was pretty sure that the entire town's population was packed into this small space.

I really had no idea what I was doing. I just walked around aimlessly, trying to avoid collisions with the mass of people swarming about. But really, it was impossible not to be enamored with the enthusiasm that was radiating from the partakers.

I must have looked like something else, trudging along by myself, wide-eyed and confused. I laughed at the ridiculousness that was myself. My eyes traveled from attraction to attraction, glowing from the all the bright lights.

My eyes eventually landed on a group of people, seemingly around my age, standing up next to the "Twist-n-Cry." I, without intention, made eye contact with one of the boys in the group. When he saw me, he smiled, and a glimmer of recognition passed across his face while I awkwardly looked down, an automatic reaction.

"Hey," he called out, leaving his group of friends and jogging over to where I stood. "You new here, or something?"

I laughed, blushing and looking down at my muddy Converses. "Or something."

When I looked up to meet his gaze, his eyes were sparkling and a crystal white smile graced his lips.

"I'm Edward Masen." He reached his tan, calloused hand out for mine, and I returned the gesture, placing my small, delicate one inside of his. His hand engulfed mine, almost consumed it with its size and strength. My compose had quickly become shaky, at best.

"You want to walk around, ride something, eat a fried snickers, maybe?" he relayed smoothly, chuckling. "I could even try to win you a giant panda, you know, so it can be your friend here in this new town."

His laugh was contagious. "So am I to rely on inanimate objects to be my only friends while I'm here?"

He paused for a second as he began to walk, ushering me to join him. "I'm sure maybe I can find a human friend for you, too. That's if you want me to, of course."

"How would this said human friend compare to my panda?"

His blue eyes matched the brightness of the southern sky at mid day, blazing with intensity while remaining pure and unmarked. "I think you're the only one who can make that decision."

"Who am I going to compare him to?"

Edward laughed again and shoved his hands into the pockets of his light blue torn jeans. "I suppose…you can use me…to compare him to. I can be a pretty good friend."

I smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I guess I can agree to that."

**End Notes: **

**Please review! **

**I do not have a regular update schedule, but chapter 2 shouldn't be far off. Thanks!**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Welcome back, guys! Remember that the chapters will alternate between 1987 & 2010. The chapters are short now, but they'll get longer as we get more into the fic. **

**Lizzylillyrose, thank you for pre-reading and dealing with me on gchat when I get a new idea!**

**SparklingTwilight – Jersey – & ginginlee thank you for your super fast, super awesome beta job! You girls are so great**

**Chapter 2:**

_June, 2010_

It was just as hot outside as I remembered, however, not as green. The drought must have really affected this area. I stood underneath the high covering of Exxon's gas station, taking advantage of the shade that the structure provided. I waited patiently for my Prius to fill up, finally taking notice of the drastic changes in this old, forgotten town. The fact that I wasn't using Buck's Stop n' Go to fill up my car was sentiment enough.

The entire strip of Highway 42 was painted with new shops, fast food joints, tanning salons, and I heard there was even a Super Walmart just up the road. I was impressed but disappointed at the same time – the originality of the small community I had spent my summer in all those years ago seemed to have just disappeared, replaced instead with chain restaurants and a CVS on every corner.

However, one thing stayed the same…good ol southern charm. I marveled at the way a young man held the door open for me as I stepped inside the station to pay for my gas. I said thank you and he replied with, "Yes, ma'am." _Ma'am?_ I had to remind myself that people here called every woman that regularly, and that he didn't say it because I thought I was old. _I wasn't old…right?_ Okay…I was old…forty years old, to be exact.

I released a big sigh as I stepped up to the counter, laying down cash for my gas and for a pack of Newports. Damn things cost me an arm and a leg. Might as well have handed them over my first born…except I never had one, so that kind of dismissed that saying.

"Anything else, ma'am?" the older lady behind the counter kindly asked.

"No, that's all, thanks," I mumbled, grabbing the change and stuffing it all in my purse. I tore off the wrapper of the cigarette pack and tossed it in the trash next to the pump as I got to my car. I was preparing to turn right on the highway when I finally lit one up, breathing in deeply, and a feeling of immediate relief flooding through my system. I didn't smoke too much anymore…trying to cut back, and all. I knew the effects it had on the system…I just didn't believe it when I got hooked on them when I was seventeen.

_Oh, seventeen, what a bloody, fantastic age_. It was the year that changed…well, everything.

I pulled up Uncle Charlie's old driveway, wincing at how the gravel was probably nicking the bottom of my silver car. It was exactly the same as when I had been there last; the sun beat down relentlessly, the white paint on his siding was chipped and worn, the field was cut short, and the sound of horses could still be heard from out back. I grabbed my bags from the trunk and climbed the stairs of his front porch, knocking on the screen door a few times before opening it slightly and sticking my head in.

"Uncle Charlie?" I called, listening intently for a response.

"Uncle Charlie?" I called again.

When I didn't get an answer a second time, I disregarded politeness, and I stepped into the old house. The wooden floors creaked beneath me, and the smell of cigarette smoke made me feel right at home. The furniture was exactly the same, arrangement and all; the plaid couch and torn recliner set in front of the fire place and a seriously outdated television. I checked the kitchen, noticing a growing pile of dirty dishes in the sink and an overflowing trash bin, but I didn't see the old man I had been searching for.

"Charlie?" I yelled up the stairs, climbing them finally and looking in the upstairs bedroom and washroom, but he wasn't there, either. I took a moment to look around the small room, though, memories of _that_ summer flooding my mind. I shook my head from the thoughts, and a figure caught my eye from the window. _It couldn't be…_I ran right up to it, having a perfect view of the back field with the horses, and saw a man in overalls and cowboy boots walking a horse back into the stable. His back faced me, the wide shoulders looking all too familiar. My heart skipped a beat, suddenly racing. I left the room running, going down the stairs two at a time. The back door swung open, hitting the side of the house with my force, but I ignored it, my feet…my heart…carrying me over to the man in the stables.

I hopped the fence, surprised that after twenty some years I could still do that, and with staggered breathing, entered the stables, eyes searching.

"Uh, can I help you with something?" a male voice called out to me, and I whipped around.

"Edw…oh…um, hi."

The boy stood confused, looking at me as if I was insane.

"I'm Bella…I'm looking for Charlie," I mumbled, trying to hide my disappointment and save a little face.

"Bella? Oh right! Mr. Swan said something about you coming by. He ran up to the store for something."

"By himself? He drove up by himself! I thought he couldn't…"

"Um, no, he wasn't alone. Some guy came and got him. I don't know his name, but he comes by every Sunday and takes him to the store for, you know, groceries and shit."

"Oh…um, okay. I guess I'll just go inside and wait for him, then."

"He'll probably be a while…he just left a little bit ago."

I sighed and twisted my hair into a braid, bringing the thick strands off of my sweating neck. "Okay, thanks."

I headed back inside, much less enthusiastically than my runabout exit, and I headed back up to my room.

The thing was…Charlie was sick. When my mom called me last month, she filled me in best she knew, but the last I heard, he could barely walk on his own. He couldn't go anywhere without his oxygen tank, and his hands shook constantly. That was why I came down…he needed someone to take care of him, and since my mom was off living her life traveling the world, I was the only family he had.

I lifted my suitcase onto my bed and began to unpack my belongings. I wasn't sure how long I was staying for, but I was lucky my profession allowed me to go anywhere. I was a freelance editor. Reading books had always been my favorite hobby, and I was extremely lucky that I had a job doing something I loved, while having the freedom to travel and live where I wanted, on top of it.

After I had finished unpacking, I went back downstairs, tying up the trash and taking it out to the bin beside the house. I replaced the bag and got to work on the dirty dishes, next. From the look and smell of things, they were days, maybe even a week or two old. I scrubbed, soaked, and scrubbed some more. It was probably an hour later that I had it all done, and in that moment, I was especially glad I had come down to North Carolina. He needed me. I looked around the rest of the house again, cleaning as I went. I moved a load of his laundry and searched high and low for a dust rag to dust the house. I swept next, opening the front door to sweep the bits onto the porch since I couldn't find a dust pan.

I was exhausted from the long day of driving and cleaning, so I decided, since I was waiting, I had might as well take a nap. My old bed still squeaked as I climbed into it, and I fell into a deep sleep quickly. When I awoke, the sun had disappeared from the sky, leaving the room in complete darkness.

I blinked rapidly, while my eyes adjusted to the lack of light, and I had to remind myself where I was. I yawned, stretched, and crawled out of bed, opened the door to my room upstairs and made my way downstairs. I heard the television on, so I followed the sound and saw Uncle Charlie sitting in his old chair, oxygen tank sitting dutifully by his side. He looked up and smiled when he saw me, then attempted to stand. I quickly protested and walked swiftly over to where he was, leaning down and hugging him so he could stay seated in his chair.

"Hi, baby!" he greeted. "You look good, Bella, really good."

I laughed and sat on the couch, facing him. "You don't look too bad yourself, either, old man."

"Oh, you know me…trying to keep my looks up to standards to impress the women."

"Always a ladies' man."

"Got that right," he said, winking. "You know, you really didn't have to uproot your life to come take care of me. I'm perfectly fine on my own."

I scoffed, leaning back on the couch and crossing my legs. "You know I'm not doing this for you. I guess…after everything that has happened in my screwed up life…I just needed to be around family." It was partially the truth, anyway. I knew how Charlie valued his independence, and I wasn't staying with him to make him feel like he needed taking care of…even if he did.

"How is all that going, by the way?" he asked sadly.

"It's finally over. All the papers are signed, everything was 'divided equally.'" I laughed without humor.

"Divided equally, huh?"

"I didn't want any of it," I whispered sadly. "But, for the first time in my life, I couldn't be happier that we never had kids. I don't think I could drag them through this…"

"I'm proud of you, Bella. You made the right choice."

"Ah, yes…so they say."

"What do you have to say about it?"

"I wanted it to work…really, I did."

"Do you regret it?"

"Regret what? The marriage or leaving the cheating bastard?"

"Do you regret where you are now…who you are today?"

I thought about that for a moment, looking him in the eyes as I responded, "I don't know if regret is the right word, I just wish my life had turned out differently."

He smiled sadly. "Sometimes, I wish the same thing about my life."

"I'm glad I still got you, Uncle Charlie," I admitted honestly – he had always been there for me.

"As I am with you, Isabella."

We sat in silence for a few minutes as I reflected the disastrous events that had taken place in my life. It was funny, in a very not funny, ironic way, that a few very simple decisions could change the entire course of one's life. If only we would have known then…

I made dinner for myself and the old man, and after bringing it in on trays we ate in the living room with the TV on. Some sports-thing was playing – I honestly didn't understand why men felt the need to watch a sports talk show, when they themselves had just watched the game. Why did they need to talk about it? Oh well…there were some things in the world that I guess not everyone us was meant to understand.

When eleven o'clock rolled around, Charlie used his walker to go back to his bedroom and get ready for bed while I cleaned up the dishes and straightened up the house. Soon after, I clicked the TV off, turned out the lights, locked up the front door, and went to bed myself.

That night I dreamt about county fairs, riding horses…and strawberry wine.

…

I awoke the next morning with a start, sitting straight up and covering my ears. Some…incredibly annoying…beeping was screeching throughout the house, and I quickly scampered my ass out of bed, dressed in only my underwear and tank top, mind you, and I flew down the stairs.

"Uncle Charlie?" I yelled out, noticing the smoke filing out of the kitchen. "Charlie?" I yelled again, swatting at the smoke and walking into the gray mass cloud. Charlie was standing over a flaming oven.

"Charlie, get out!" I cried.

"Oh, hush, Bella, it's just a little smoke."

I ran over to the closet and got out the fire extinguisher and – as gently as I could – moved Charlie, who was trying to swat the smoke away with a dish rag, to the side and released the pin that allowed me to put out the fire. The poor oven was covered in white foam, but luckily, the fire was out.

I moved Charlie from the kitchen and got him outside to some fresh air.

"What the hell were you trying to do in there?" I yelled.

"Calm down, Isabella, I was just making breakfast."

I grunted and rubbed my eyes with my hands.

"Why are you naked?" he asked, just as a car honked its horn as it drove by. _Ugh._

The smoke alarm was still going off, and I could hear the sirens as they made their way down the street. I groaned and stepped down off of the porch and sat on the grass beside the house, trying to get out of the way. Charlie simply sat on his porch swing.

"I'm taking it this happens fairly often?"

"Third time this week…"

"Great," I mumbled sarcastically.

He laughed at me. "Lighten up, Bella. The house is still standing. No harm done." His tone made him sound like he had ulterior motives, and the smirk that sat smugly on his face only encouraged my theory.

"What are you up to, Charlie?"

He looked at me with wide-eyes. "Are you accusing me of doing this deliberately?" he asked in mock-horror.

I rolled my eyes. "You are up to something…"

He shrugged right as the large red trucks pulled up on the lawn.

"Morning, boys," Charlie greeted, while I tucked my head into the nook between my knees as I sat on the ground. I wrapped my arms around my legs and held myself there.

"Is everyone okay, here?" a man asked. I lifted my head and nodded.

"I already put the fire out," I explained.

"We're just going to go in and check everything out."

"Be my guest," Charlie said happily.

A few more men with masks entered the house, and Uncle Charlie just looked out into the yard, whistling away, as we waited for them to come back.

"So what do you want to do today, Bells?" he asked without a care in the world after we had been sitting there for a little while.

"I have some work to do, but other than that I'll be free. I was thinking about doing some work around the house."

"What needs work on the house?"

"A paint job, some deep cleaning…"

"Psh," he dismissed. "You're always wanting to work, honey…just enjoy it. Go ride the horses, take a swim in the lake, just do some livin'."

"You sound like a cheesy country song," I said laughing.

"Welcome back to my neck of the woods there, darlin'," he relayed, pushing the thick accent.

I laughed out loud right as the men filed out of the house.

"Everything seems fine. Be more careful next time, Mr. Swan," one of the men said, shaking Charlie's hand.

"Thank you, gentlemen." He stood, and I stood along with him. They all nodded towards me and headed back to the truck. I went to go back into the house when Charlie held out his hand to stop me. "Wait for it…" he said.

"Wait for what?" I asked, confused.

"Alright, Charlie," a voice called as a man stepped out of the doorframe. "I put some of your box fans up and opened the windows…" He stopped mid sentence.

_Holy shit._

Charlie stood grinning from ear to ear.

A smile slowly slid onto the man's face as his eyes took in my practically naked body.

"Wow," he began. "I can't believe it."

I stood there dumbfounded.

"You're looking really good, Bella," he drawled out slowly.

"Masen!" the boys called from the truck. "Let's go, buddy, clock's a tickin'!"

He smiled quickly before he bounded off towards the red engines. I turned around and watched as his form disappeared.

"You are one conniving old man, Charlie Swan," I mumbled seriously.

He went back to whistling and headed back inside the house as I stayed glued to my spot…watching in amazement as he drove away.

**End Notes:**

**Up next: back to the Johnston County fair. Let's see just how great of a **_**friend**_** Edward Masen can be… **

**Don't forget to review! ;) **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Back to the eighties in this chapter...**

**Lizzylillyrose, thank you for prereading and listening to me rant and rage about life.**

**Ginginlee & SparklingTwilight – thank you for your fabulous beta job! **

**Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight, Deana Carter owns the song, **_**Strawberry Wine.**_

**I own a frisky panda...**

**O.o **

_His laugh was contagious. "So am I to rely on inanimate objects to be my only friends while I'm here?" _

_He paused for a second as he began to walk, ushering me to join him. "I'm sure I can find a human friend for you, too. That's if you want me to, of course." _

"_How would this said human friend compare to my panda?"_

_His blue eyes matched the brightness of the southern sky at mid day, blazing with intensity while remaining pure and unmarked. "I think you're the only one who can make that decision." _

"_Who am I going to compare him to?" _

_Edward laughed again and shoved his hands into the pockets of his light blue torn jeans. "I suppose…you can use me…to compare him to. I can be a pretty good friend." _

_I smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I guess I can agree to that."_

**OoO**

**Chapter 3: 1987**

"Are you sure you don't want me to carry that for you?" he asked, obviously laughing at my expense. I couldn't blame him, though; I was trudging around with a stuffed animal that was as large as I was.

"Oh, I got it…were just _bonding_, that's all." I shrugged my shoulders and winked at Edward.

"Man, I can't help but be jealous of the little guy now…he's _really_ getting to know you." He motioned down to where the panda's face was shoved down in my chest.

We both laughed out loud, and I chided, "You're such a perv."

He took the oversized animal. "A perv, maybe, but I also got to protect the lady from frisky pandas." He shifted the animal to one arm and carried it beside him. "So what do you want to do next? We kinda spent a while on the game, sorry," he said guiltily.

"Don't be sorry – I love my new friend here…and you're okay, too," I joked, nudging him with my arm a little.

"So the sarcasm must be a northern thing, huh?"

"Hey! Don't knock the north…you southerners are just _sensitive._"

"Sensitive? I just think that you don't know the true affect of the southern charm," he spoke, emphasizing his thick drawl as he turned to look at me, his eyes boring into mine. There was a moment there, when the two of us had stopped walking, and he just looked at me with a smirk on his face before he stepped back and laughed it off. I followed his lead and laughed too, though mine was a little forced.

"Southern charm, you say?"

"Yes, indeed, miss. A lady shall always go first," he motioned for me to take a step ahead of him, "doors shall always be held open," he scurried in front of me and pretended to open a door, and then bowed a little when I walked through his make-shift door, "and most importantly, a true southern gentleman, shall always escort the lady home."

I looked at him a bit strangely. "Escort me home?"

"It's dark, Bella. If I let you go off into that dreary, haunted night, all I will do is worry that I'll never see you again." I couldn't tell if he was joking or being completely serious.

"I just rode my bike here…"

He smiled. "Don't worry about it…my friend has his car. We can give you a ride."

"I was always taught not to go home with strangers, you know, even if I do have a frisky panda to protect me from big, strong, southern gentlemen."

He laughed and slung his arm around me while he searched the area for his buddies. "I'm not going to hurt you, Bella. Besides, how do you expect to get the panda home on your bike?"

"Um…" I mumbled, unsure myself. "If I can find a payphone, I can call my uncle to come pick me up."

"So you're staying with your uncle?" It didn't really seem like a question, though…more like he was just trying to make conversation.

"Yeah, my mom's older brother…just for the summer while she travels around the country with her boyfriend. Coming here seemed like the lesser of two evils," I added jokingly.

"Whoa, now…you would rather come to Clayton, North Carolina…where we specialize in drag races and skinny dippin' in the river, than traveling the country with your mom? You could have seen the world, and you chose to come here?" he asked in legitimate disbelief.

"You specialize in skinny dipping?" I retorted.

"After everything I just said, you stick with the gettin' nekkid part." He laughed and shook his head. "I think you'll fit in with us just fine, here, Bella."

He laughed and I smiled as we found his group of friends standing next to one of the many lemonade stands.

"Hey, y'all," he greeted, his arm gently falling from my shoulder as he motioned with his hand to the group. "This is Bella. Bella, this is…well, everyone."

There was a combined slur of hellos…the boys looked either indifferent or genuinely interested, as most of the girls eyed me up and down. _Typical._

"Hey," I responded. "What's going on?" I asked, trying to make conversation.

"Whoa, got an accent there, don't ya, darlin'?" one of the boys laughed.

I smiled and kicked the dirt around my feet. "Yeah, I'm from Cleveland."

"Oh nice…I'm Riley." He reached out his hand for me to shake, which I took gently, stuffing my other hand into my front jean pocket.

"Yo, Ri, can we give Bella a lift home? She just rode her bike," Edward quickly added before wrapping his arm around me again.

"Sure, that's no problem. Y'all ready to leave soon? I got work early in the mornin' for the old man."

"Ready whenever you are," Edward confirmed.

"We were thinking about heading out to the river later this week, Edward. Do you want to come?" a blonde, disgustingly-skinny girl asked, batting her lashes a few too many times.

Edward simply shrugged and looked at me. "That's sounds fun, what do you say, Bella?"

The girl scoffed and rolled her eyes, and I shrugged along with Edward. "Um, sure. I don't really have any concrete plans while I'm here."

"And how long are you here for, exactly?" the same girl asked, with evident annoyance in her tone.

"All summer," I responded with a bit of snark and a wink. Everyone, besides her, laughed.

"Alright, Ri, you ready, bro?" Edward asked, and Riley nodded. We said our goodbyes to the group and walked away, Edward still holding onto the frisky panda.

"Ed, you still got work tomorrow?" Riley asked as he fit my bike into the trunk of his wooden-sided station wagon. Edward opened the door for me to sit shotgun as he climbed in the backseat.

"Uh, yeah," he said tentatively, and quickly changed the subject. "You going down to the river with everyone on Friday?"

"Duh, man," Riley answered while he got situated in the driver's seat, inserting the key and starting the ignition. "So, Bella, where you stayin'?"

"Um, Charlie Swan's house?" I said in more of a question than a statement. "But, really, I have no idea how to get there from here."

Riley laughed. "Not a problem, honey, I know where Mr. Swan lives."

"You do?"

"It's a really small town, Bella," Edward added. "Everybody kind of knows everybody."

"Well then…" I trailed off and focused my eyes out the open window.

**O.o**

I climbed up the stairs of Uncle Charlie's porch, after saying my goodbyes and thanks to Edward and Riley, with the frisky panda in hand. I noticed the lights were off so I tried my best to make as little noise as possible. My coordination, however, had other plans as I tripped over the small step leading into the house, and literally tumbled through the doorway. I laid, face first, on the hardwood floor, as Charlie ran out of his room in a panic.

"Who's in my house?" he shouted, shotgun in hand.

"Charlie! Charlie!" I exclaimed. "It's just me!" I stood up and brushed my knees off.

"Bella? What are you doing making all this ruckus out here? It's late!"

"Gah, I know, I'm sorry – I was trying to be quiet, but I tripped, and fell…and well, you know. Sorry," I added bashfully.

Charlie had lowered the gun and rubbed his tired eyes. "It's alright, baby. Get on up to bed now, we have a full day ahead of us tomorrow."

"We do?" I asked curiously.

"I need some help out back with the horses. You'd be willing to help me out, right, darlin'?"

I smiled. "Of course."

"Good girl…now go on upstairs, and try not to get yourself shot anymore tonight, ya hear?"

"Got it." I laughed, picked up my panda, and hurried up to my bedroom. Once inside, I shut the squeaky white door and went to the side wall to pry open my window. I could hear the horses from their stables, and I tried to remember what their manes felt like under my touch. It had been ages since I had ridden Charlie's horses. Of course, then, I had been too young to ride on my own. Charlie would have always been behind me, holding onto me tight with one arm as the other held onto the reigns.

I changed out of my cutoff jean shorts and white tank top, and I took a quick shower before bed. I woke up the next morning to what sounded like a beat up old car that was in serious need of a new exhaust pipe. I groaned out loud and rolled over when I realized the sun had begun to rise. I kicked my sticky sheets off of me like a petulant child and cursed the reason for being up this early.

"Bella!" I heard Charlie call from the bottom of the steps. He couldn't seriously have expected me to be up at whatever ungodly hour it was, could he? "Bells?" he called again, followed by the loud sound of his footsteps climbing up the stairs. A few knocks at the door followed his bellowing. "Bella, honey, it's time to get up."

"Ugh," I cried in recognition. He gently opened up the door and peaked his head through.

"I got coffee waitin' downstairs. Wear somethin' comfortable."

"Got it," I mumbled, rolling back over, facing away from the door for a few more seconds before finally climbing out of bed. I stomped my feet on the wooden floorboards for good measure. When I had agreed to help Uncle Charlie out, I had no idea it would be at…I checked the clock…six thirty a.m.!

I strode over to my wardrobe and pulled out the first pair of shorts I could find. I slipped the jean material over my legs and tried hard to adjust my eyes to the rising sunlight. Charlie had said to dress comfortable, so I pulled over a plaid short sleeve button up and pulled my chestnut long hair into a tight ponytail. I didn't even bother with any makeup, knowing full well that I would had sweat it all off, anyway. I put on the only pair of boots I owned, which were not attractive in the slightest, by the way, and made my way groggily down the steps.

Uncle Charlie was waiting in his small kitchen, reading the newspaper at his table, and eating scrambled eggs for breakfast. "There are more eggs in the skillet. Eat 'em up."

I headed towards the food with a simple nod of thanks and scooped out a plateful, grabbing a cup of blissful caffeine before sitting down across from him. We ate in silence, the only noise coming from Charlie as he turned the pages.

"You have fun last night?" he eventually asked as I took my last sip of coffee.

"Yeah," I responded, getting up to clean our dishes.

"You got home pretty late last night…"

"Um, yeah, sorry about that. Do I, um, you know, have a curfew here, or something?" I broached hesitantly. He didn't say anything the night before about being home at a certain time. Honestly, I hadn't thought much of it.

Charlie scratched his head. "Well…um, I'm not sure. I never really had a kid before to know what to do here… Do you have one with your mother?"

"Have you met my mother?"

He laughed. "Well, darlin', I guess if you don't have one with her then you don't have one here. Just don't break my trust," he warned seriously.

I smiled. "Wouldn't think of it, Uncle Charlie."

"Good, good," he said nodding, folding up his read paper and placing it down on the table. "You ready to get to work?" he asked.

"Sure thing," I agreed, feeling much better as the caffeine made its way through my system. "So, what exactly are we doing today?"

"Stables need cleaning, horses need fed, and you, my dear sweet niece, need to learn how to ride."

"Ride? You're going to teach me how to ride?"

He paused. "Well, not me, exactly."

We made our way out of the house and down the steps out the back door. The sun was shining bright in the sky, and I almost tripped over myself when I saw the blue truck sitting in the yard. _The guy I saw out the window!_

"Who'll be teaching me, then?" I asked as we almost reached the stables, a hopeful tone laced through my words. I was itching to know who the guy was I saw the day I had arrived.

"A young man who works for me during the summer. Nice fellow."

"Young man? How old is he?" I asked, maybe a little too enthusiastically.

"Eighteen. Going off to college in the fall. He's a bright boy, that one."

"What's his name?"

By this time we had reached the barn and I could see the back of this man Charlie was talking about.

"Edward Masen," Charlie answered, and Edward turned his head at the mention of his name.

I, however, stopped dead in my tracks. Edward saw me and his stupid little smirk rose on his lips. He straightened up and turned around to face us fully.

"Mornin', Mr. Swan," he greeted.

"Edward, this is my niece, Bella. You are not to touch her, flirt with her, or make any kind of move on her, whatsoever. She'll be here all summer, and, boy, I will end you if you so even harm a hair on her head," Charlie said more seriously than I had ever heard him speak before. My eyes widened and blush colored my entire face. "Bella, this here is Edward. He'll be teaching you to ride a horse. How does that sound?" he turned to me and asked with a pleasant smile on his face.

"Uh," I mumbled, glancing at Edward who looked almost as horrified by Charlie's words. "Sounds…great?" I shrugged.

"Wait a second…" Edward said confused. "You want _me_ to teach _her_ how to ride a horse?"

"Did I stutter?" Charlie relayed.

"No, um, no, sir."

"Okay, then. First, though, we got chores to do." Charlie clapped his hands together before striding off to the wall of the barn and grabbing two shovels. "Alright, folks, here you go." He handed Edward and I a shovel and then went and took one for himself. "The horses don't shit in the potty, so get to work!"

Edward looked at me and laughed, most likely from my shocked expression. "Shoveling manure, _wonderful," _I huffed.

"Oh, how I love the early morning sarcasm," Edward laughed and walked into one of the empty stalls. I stood in my spot, not knowing what to do. "You coming, Bella?" he asked. "The faster we get this done, the faster I can teach you how to _ride_ like a true cowgirl," he added with a wink. I rolled my eyes and walked on in, trying not to dry heave at the smell.

Charlie left us to go work in another stall, and so it was just Edward and I, shoveling away in silence. Charlie didn't know that Edward and I had met the night before, but I had wondered why Edward didn't tell me he knew my uncle.

"I guess it's a smaller town than I thought," I added a while into our work.

"I said that last night, didn't I?" he joked.

"Why didn't you tell me you knew Charlie?"

He simply laughed. "It never came up."

"Never came up? You dropped me off here! You could have said something then!"

He stopped what he was doing and looked at me seriously. "Are you really mad at me, Bella? I thought we had fun last night," he said with a hint of sadness.

I sighed and tucked my fallen hair behind my ears. "I just have a thing about people being honest," I answered, maybe a bit too harshly.

He frowned and nodded. "Sorry – I should have told you."

"Yes, you should have," I said a bit lighter.

"So, if were going with the complete honesty thing here, I guess I should also tell you that I didn't come up to you last night completely out of the blue."

"What?" I asked. "What do you mean?"

"I recognized you."

"Recognized me? How? From where?"

He smiled sheepishly again, and I could see the humor in his eyes. "You look really good in a bikini top," he answered before laughing.

"I don't get it…" I said, still confused.

"Outside…yesterday…you were out by the tree. You fell asleep?"

"Ugh!" I moaned. "You saw me? I knew whoever drove that blue truck got a good little show."

He laughed loudly. "Good little show, indeed."

"You're so gross," I chided.

He winked and got back to work, and I knew right then that it was going to be a very long summer.

**o.O **

**End Notes: Next chapter will be back in 2010 – Will Bella and Firefighterward get to catch up? **

**I'm almost finished writing my first WIP, **_**Family Ties and Guarding Hearts.**_ **It's nothing like this fic, but once that is done, updates for this will come much quicker. **

**Thanks for reading – please review! **


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: **

**Welcome back, guys – sorry for the wait! **

**Thanks to ginginlee and sparklingtwilight for their lovely, super fast, super awesome beta work! And thanks, as always, to my ficbest / prereader lizzylillyrose! **

**Thanks to Janine / Sweetlovincullen for the SW pimp on Twilightficzone!**

**So you guys like that Edward is a firefighter, huh? Good, because I can have a lot of fun with that ;) ... **

**Again, I own nothing. **

_**Back from chapter 2: **_

_A smile slowly slid onto the man's face as his eyes took in my practically naked body._

"_Wow," he began. "I can't believe it."_

_I stood there dumbfounded._

"_You're looking really good, Bella," he drawled out slowly._

"_Masen!" the boys called from the truck. "Let's go, buddy, clock's a tickin'!"_

_He smiled quickly before he bounded off towards the red engines. I turned around and watched as his form disappeared._

"_You are one conniving old man, Charlie Swan," I mumbled seriously._

_He went back to whistling and headed back inside the house as I stayed glued to my spot…watching in amazement as he drove away._

**O.o**

_**June 2010**_

The red trucks finally disappeared from view, but I still couldn't find it in me to get my feet to move. _I knew Charlie was up to something…_

"Charlie!" I yelled, finally stomping back into the house. I found him sitting on his recliner, flipping through the channels on the television.

"Bella, hush, the TV is on," he dismissed me.

"When was that last time you used your oven?" I asked, stepping in front of him and blocking his view. Things were starting to add up, and I didn't like it. Charlie hadn't cooked in years, and the smirk on his face outside before Edward came out had given him away.

"This morning…now move before I hit you with my cane."

I stood defiantly. "You know what I meant…"

"Yesterday."

"Liar," I countered.

He huffed and sat back, finally looking me in the eye. "About ten years ago," he admitted. "But, Bella," he started with more force, "it was for your own good!"

"My own good? You almost burnt the house down!" It was just silly that he went so far as to endanger his safety just to…whatever it was he had planned with a certain firefighter.

"Psh!" He waved his hand for emphasis. "I did no such thing. You're being a bit dramatic – always have been!"

"If I'm being so dramatic, why did you choose this morning to cook in the oven after not touching it for a decade?"

"You…um…I…breakfast?" he stammered.

I raised my eyebrow skeptically, not saying anything else until he continued.

"Okay! Fine, fine! I surrender!" He sighed heavily and crossed his wrinkled arms over his small chest. "I just thought you could use a nice distraction," he mumbled softly, looking down towards the floor.

"A distraction? A distraction from what, Uncle Charlie?" I asked just as softly, while relaxing my stern stance.

"Don't go thinking that I forgot what you had with that boy all those years ago, Bella…" he led on.

I shook my head vigorously. "Oh, Charlie…please, _please _do not go there! That is such ancient history! To be honest, I'm surprised he still remembered my name."

"That's not all he remembers," he scoffed, probably not meaning for me to hear.

"You are delusional, old man," I dismissed. "That summer was…"

"A long time ago, I got it," he finished for me.

"That was a dirty trick you pulled…I'm practically naked!" I said, once again taking in my tank top and underwear.

Charlie laughed out loud. "That was just an added bonus."

I sat down on the couch and ran my fingers through my hair, pulling it into a pile on the side of my neck. "Uncle Charlie, really, it's sweet that you're thinking about me, but I really am not in a place to get into a relationship. Sure, coming here reminds me of…him, and _then_, but I would never have acted on it. It's a sweet memory – I had planned on keeping it just that."

"I wasn't trying to get you romantically involved with him, Bella! I just set the kitchen on fire, you're the one who came down dressed in…_that,_" he snickered.

"You're not funny," I warned.

He laughed again. "Okay, okay. I won't play cupid. But I think both of you have a lot more in common than you think."

"I don't even know what that means…this is just…ridiculous!" I stood up and yawned, my abrupt wake up call finally catching up with me. "Please don't meddle. I don't need sympathy friends," I mumbled and walked out of the living room and upstairs to shower.

I stripped out of my little clothing and allowed the hot water to cascade over my aching body. I honestly should have expected as much from Uncle Charlie. He had always been a fan of Edward, and he definitely wasn't too fond of Mr.-He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named. Charlie would always comment how my husband…er, _ex-husband…_never made me as happy as Edward had that summer. Did he not realize, though, that at seventeen everything was more blissful?

Edward wasn't as perfect as Charlie seemed to remember him being, either. Even Mr. Masen broke my heart once upon a time…

I quickly chided myself, refusing to let my memory drift back down that dark path. I always tried so desperately to hang onto the good times, the happy memories of that summer – that was what first loves were about, right? Happiness, growth, innocence…not to be blinded by the pain of the goodbyes.

I didn't know how to react to Edward being in Johnston County. I hadn't seen him since…I banged my head against the wall of the shower. _Not going there,_ I thought again to myself.

I thought for sure he would be in some big city somewhere, living out his dream of becoming a lawyer. He used to tell me all the time how he wanted a better life than this town, to go out and travel the world, experience things greater than these dreary town limits. He wanted excitement, danger, uncertainty…

I laughed, realizing that he was now a firefighter…_I guess it didn't get much more dangerous than that_,I thought. Something must have had happened, though. I had always been curious as to what had happened to him. Every summer that passed, I would reminisce over our relationship – the field, the tree, the lake, the carnival. I would picture him in a black suit, standing proudly in front of a courtroom, and I would smile.

But now? It was no longer just my fantasy of where Edward could have been…now, I knew. And it scared the ever living shit out of me. _This was Edward we were talking about, after all!_

My body shivered involuntarily, and I turned off the water and stepped out, shaking my head to clear my thoughts.

I was being ridiculous – I was a grown woman! No _boy…_or man…should have been able to get under my skin like that. That was exactly the type of thing that got me in trouble in the first place.

**O.o**

I dressed leisurely in a pair of cut off jean shorts and a more modest white tank top. I was lucky that I had inherited my mother's body, and my slim curves only showed slightly through the flimsy material. I pulled my hair into a bun on top of my head and grabbed my sunglasses off my dresser before heading outside. My boots were sitting out on the back porch, and I slipped them on, making sure to tie the laces nice and tight.

It was still relatively early, so the heat wasn't quite as unbearable. The clouds were pathetic whispers in the sky, and the blue color seemed to cover vast acres. I walked over to the stables, and the boy I had met when I had first arrived here was hard at work.

I laughed at the memories that surfaced from being back in here, but my noise had taken the poor kid by surprise. He jumped and held onto his chest.

"It's just me," I said, laughing. "Bella, remember?"

The boy breathed out and nodded. "Right…you've got to stop coming out of nowhere like that, though!"

I smiled sheepishly and picked up an extra shovel. "Sorry about that. So, what is your name? I don't think I caught it the other day."

He looked surprised when I started helping him shovel the manure in one of the stalls, but he didn't question my actions. "I'm Seth," he replied, getting back to work. "You know," he finally said after a minute of silence, "you really don't have to help me. I get paid to do this."

I chuckled and nodded. "That's alright – I enjoy doing it. It brings back some good memories. Besides, I'm sure you would like the help…" I led on, and he laughed, nodding his head in agreement.

Seth and I worked side by side for a few hours before both of us grew famished. He and I agreed that we wouldn't ride the horses until the work was done, so he agreed to continue working if I went inside and made lunch. I hastily threw together some ham and cheese sandwiches for Seth, Charlie, and myself, and I handed it to my uncle before heading back out to the barn.

I called Seth over to sit under the adjacent tree, which allowed us to eat in the coolness of the shade. I rested my back against the thick, scratchy bark, and practically scarfed down my meal in just a few bites.

"Wow, such a lady," Seth joked at my lack of eating manners.

"Bite me," I mumbled with a mouthful.

He laughed, finishing up his own sandwich before taking a swig of his water and lying down on the soft grass. He shut his eyes and spread out his arms, seeming to be totally content in that moment.

"Seth, may I ask you a question?" I requested, laying down myself and mirroring his actions.

"Sure," he agreed easily.

"How old are you?"

"Um…" he mumbled uncomfortably. "You're really cool, and all, Bella, but you're like old enough to be my mom."

"What!" I shrieked before I erupted in laughter. "You…you thought…" I couldn't even finish my thought because I kept laughing. I curled over onto my side, pressing my hands into my stomach. His comment really wasn't that funny, but since I was laying down, probably heat exhausted, I thought it was the funniest thing I had heard in months.

"You were hitting on me, right?" he asked, confused.

"No…no, not at all," I answered, while still bubbling with laughter.

"Hey! I'm insulted. It wasn't that far of a stretch!" he complained. "I'm a catch!"

"Uh huh," I mocked, my laughter finally winding down. "Sorry, kid, you're not really my type," I relayed, laughing once again.

"Okay, okay, joke's on me, got it," he retorted, finally laughing a little bit. "I shouldn't have assumed."

I wiped the tear that fell from my eye. "It's all forgiven," I said sitting up. "But, seriously, how old are you?"

"Sixteen."

"Woo," I whistled. "That would be totally illegal if I had been hitting on you," I joked.

"And really gross," he added.

"Yes…definitely that."

**O.o**

"So are you finally ready to ride?" I asked Seth a few hours later as we finished everything up. The horses were fed, their stalls were clean, and the hay barrels were moved.

He checked down at his watch nervously. "Um, I can ride for a little while, but I, uh, um, kind of, have something to do later."

I laughed and saddled up a white horse named Jenna. "And what exactly is this something?"

A smile erupted across his face, but he still tried to play it cool. "Oh, you know, nothing big."

"Is this something a date, perhaps?"

"A date?" he asked in a much higher pitched than normal. "Psh, no one goes on those anymore. No, this…we're just, you know, hanging out."

"Right…" I mocked as I climbed on Jenna. "So what is her name?"

"Tonight, it's Rebecca."

"Tonight?" I asked incredulously. "As in, there are multiple girls you take out through out the week.

He shrugged, indifferent. "A playa gots to play."

"No, no, no, no." I shook my head vigorously. "A 'playa' is another term for 'chicken shit.' Be a man and only court one girl. Be a gentleman, a nice guy, a _charmer,_" I emphasized. "Trust me, as soon as those girls find out that you're 'playing' them, they will be gone faster than fried Twinkies at the county fair. They'll probably all gang up on you, too…make an _I Hate Seth_ club, or something," I rambled.

"For real? They would name a club after me?"

"You're missing the point, Seth. Do you like this Rebecca girl?"

He kicked his feet in the dirt and looked at the ground. "She's okay, I guess."

"Then stop trying to act all cool. Back in my day, guys used to fight each other to win a date with a girl. They would be so proud if she said yes. Just…be a guy who would fight for someone."

"Back in your day? Wasn't that eons ago."

"Okay, all these jokes about my age are getting really old."

He laughed. "Old…you would know."

"Seth!" I yelled. "I'm not kidding! I'm really not that old – even though I definitely feel like it some days," I said with a hint of sadness.

"Did you have someone fight for you when you were my age? A _charmer_, as you so nicely put it?"

I was sure I turned bright pink, but I quickly turned my back and started galloping on Jenna out into the field. "You only wish you knew, kid!" I yelled behind me.

Before I knew it, Seth had jumped his horse and had caught up to me. "Will you tell me about it?"

"About what?" I ignored his piercing gaze.

"When you were sixteen…and your 'courter,'" he said, using air quotes.

"First of all, I was older than sixteen, and no, I will not be sharing that adventure."

"Why not?" he asked, pouting.

I sighed softly. "Because it doesn't have a happy ending."

"I'm sorry, Bella," he said sadly.

I laughed without humor. "Oh, don't be sorry. I wasted too much of my life on him, anyway."

"So, why are you telling me to be a charmer and court these girls when it's not guaranteed to work out, when people get hurt?"

I smiled and looked at him seriously. "Because, sometimes…love wins in the end."

**O.o**

Seth only rode with me for less than half an hour, and I was left to the peacefulness and serenity of the open field. I rode Jenna without abandon, fast, strong, and carefree. I felt the summer breeze whip across my skin, and I released the elastic from my hair, allowing it to blow behind me.

I rode, not having felt that alive in months. It felt like everything, for even those few moments, was lifted. I had only wished all of my problems could have been so easily lost in the wind. I would have had gladly given my issues away – the broken heart, the failed marriage, the miscarriages, the depression, the cheating…all of the lost years.

I laughed to myself, shaking my head. _Wasn't that the real reason why I was here?_

Sure, I had come to help Charlie…but, in reality, I was the one who needed to be healed.

The sun was just beginning to descend in the sky, and I knew it was time to wrap up with Jenna and go make dinner for Charlie and myself. The stable was just about in view when I saw another car parked out back. When I got closer, I could see someone sitting on the steps on the back porch.

I got Jenna back into the gated area when the man stood up and walked over to me.

_At least I had clothes on this time._

"Hi, Bella," he said nervously, his hands shoved deep into his pockets.

"Edward Masen," I whispered, a small laugh escaping my lips. I looked to him and then to the horse, finding his eyes again. I had no idea how long I was out riding, and I felt bad if he had to wait. "I'm sorry, I hope you haven't been waiting on me for long…"

He laughed, my comment taking him by surprise, I suppose. He turned a nice shade of pink, and his eyes shot down to his boots. "You have no idea," he drawled slowly.

I didn't understand, but _okay_…

Both of us were at a loss for words, and the moment got more awkward by the second. I tried desperately thinking of a way to cut the silence, so I offered the only thing I had…

"You want to stay for dinner?"

**END NOTES:**

**Please review – this story is really lacking on love. **

**Come play on twitter, too - kas90_ **

**I have a pic of older Edward on my blog: .com **


	5. Chapter 5

**The wait for this chapter was entirely my own fault…I did, though, finish my other fic **_**Family Ties and Guarding Hearts**_**. Now that that it is complete, I'll be updating this much, **_**much**_** more often. **

**Gracious thanks again to my lovely betas: ginginlee & sparklingtwilight! And, of course, to my wonderful pre-reader and friend: lizzylillyrose **

**Okay…back to the young years….**

**1987**

"Okay, first things first," Edward instructed as he saddled up a dark brown horse named Betty, "you can't scare the poor thing. She has to like you."

We had finished up our chores in the stables, and with Uncle Charlie's firm instructions, Edward was teaching me how to ride on my own. It was just past mid day, and a combination of exhaustion and excitement filled my senses.

"Well, it's a good thing I'm a very likable person," I quipped as I retied my hair that had fallen.

He laughed and walked us out into the fenced-in green field. "Horses are different than young men, Bella. You can't woo them with your luscious long hair and witty remarks."

"You like my witty remarks?" I joked with a laugh.

"They're the most charming thing about you," he retorted while rolling his eyes. I smacked his sweaty, bare arm but smiled at him, anyway.

"Okay, so if my wicked sense of humor won't suffice, how am I supposed to get this horse to like me?"

"Well," he began as he walked in front of the animal, still keeping the reigns in one of his hands, "you have to be gentle." He lifted his other hand and lightly ran his long fingers up the horse's nose and through its mane. "You need to speak kindly, yet firm," he demonstrated.

"Kindly and firm, got it."

"You need to let Betty, here, know who is in charge," he spoke with authority, but his voice had suddenly dropped. "But she needs to know that you'll take care of her, too. You need to tell her that she's important, and that she's beautiful, that she means something to you. Tell her that as long as you're with her, it's just you and her." He said these things with intensity as he looked at the horse, but his words trailed off into what seemed like an entirely different meaning. My stomach was in sudden knots and my head in a fog.

"You say this to every horse you ride?" I asked with a nervous chuckle.

"I'm sorry, what?" He shook his head as if coming out of a daze. Both of our words had seemed to register, and he stammered, "Uh, yeah, just let the horse know that you're in charge but that you'll take care of her, and you should be set."

"Okay…" I stepped up to where he was and ran my small hand along the same trail his had on the horse. She nudged her nose into me and neighed, scaring me and causing me to back into Edwards strong, tall body.

He laughed. "Don't be scared, that means she likes you…keep going." He took my shaking hand in his and together we stroked the horse.

I tried to concentrate on the thousand pound animal that stood just inches away, but all my body could register was Edward's lean, fit frame pressed against me. My chest rose as the same time his did, and I could feel his soft breath on the base of my bare neck. Despite the raging temperatures outside, chills had suddenly lined my skin.

I only prayed that he had felt it, too.

"Are you ready?" he asked softly with his body still contoured against mine.

"Uh, for what?" My voice shook with the syllables. My nerves had gotten the best of me due to his proximity.

"To ride?"

The heat seared my skin, and I turned around to face him. "Ride…the horse. This horse, not your horse. I mean…yes…to this horse, because that's what Charlie said. Not that I don't want to ride you…because I do…no," I paused, shaking my head, "Charlie would kill you. Really, I've seen his shotgun. He pulled it on me yesterday. Not that he shot me or anything. He didn't. I'm still fine. You, however…" The words kept coming out, no matter how hard the rational side of my brain tried to stop them.

"Bella?" he asked while laughing.

_Oh, no,_ I thought. Had I really said _all_ of that? The look on his face had confirmed it…yup, my filter, along with my pride, had officially left the building.

"I think the heat has gotten to you. Why don't you go inside and get some water before we start." A wicked grin was stuck on his face as I turned around to head into the house.

_Really, Bella!_ I berated myself. _Ride his horse? What, was this some 1940 Western porno?_

I had lost myself in my own self-loathing thoughts as I entered the house that I hadn't even noticed Uncle Charlie. "You having fun out there, baby?" he asked from his seat at the kitchen table, causing me to jump back.

"Um…" I stammered, trying to regain my composure. "Yeah, why wouldn't we be having fun?" He had to have seen how red I was. "Nothing happened. Just going over the basics of how to ride. How to ride a horse…nothing else. What else is there to ride?" I asked with my voice a pitch too high.

He looked at me sternly while I, on the other hand, avoided eye contact at all cost. I quickly filled a glass with water from the sink and started chugging.

He sighed heavily and finally removed his piercing gaze from my direction and focused back on the newspaper in front of him.

"What?" I asked stupidly.

"Oh, nothing," he stated, and I breathed a sigh of relief. However, right before I walked back outside, I heard him mutter, "Edward knows I shoot to kill."

A chill swept through my spine.

"Felling better?" Edward asked with a chuckle once I approached him back in the field.

"Much," I replied sassily. "So are you going to teach me a thing or two about riding, or what?" I tried to keep my voice strong, part of my 'save face' strategy.

He shook his head momentarily before speaking, "Yup, just come on and let's get it on. I mean, get you off. Get you on…the horse, I mean."

It was my turn to laugh. "Let's just do this thing."

"Wait, seriously?" A glimmer of hope ran through his features.

"The riding lesson, Edward," I corrected. "Besides, I want to learn how to be better at it than you," I added with a wink.

After he finally gained his composure, he laughed. "Sorry to burst your bubble, sweet thing, but that will never happen. I'm the racing king around here."

"Okay, Mr. Confidence, we'll see after a few lessons. I'm a very quick learner."

He breathed in deeply again. "I'm sure you are."

I was happy that our playful banter was back, and the awkwardness had seemed to dissipate. I finally looked at him smugly. "So where do we go from here? I'm pretty sure Betty has a thing for me, so nothing to worry about there. What is step two?"

"Step two is to just hop on. Come on." He took my hand and led me right next to the saddle. "Just put your foot in this slot," he instructed, "and throw your other leg over."

I gripped his hand for dear life as I followed what he said. I had suddenly felt a whole lot less confident as soon as I realized how far off the ground I was. "Whoa, whoa, whoa," I panicked. "I can't do this. Get me down!" I didn't care that I sounded like a baby; all respect that Edward had for me went out the window with the riding his horse comment, anyway.

"No, Bella; calm down. You've got this," he tried to sooth while running his hand along my thigh.

"Nope, I'm pretty sure the horse wants to kill me."

He chuckled. "Betty hasn't even moved, yet, Bella. Just relax. You'll be fine. I won't let anything happen to you, I promise."

"Edward, please." My voice shook with fright.

He sighed heavily before telling me to scoot up on the saddle to move my foot. I was confused but listened anyway, and before I knew it, Edward was up on the horse with me, sitting right behind me. His arm came around my waist and held my torso tightly.

"Is this better?" he asked in my ear.

"We're not too heavy for the horse, right?" I asked while petting the poor thing.

"Of course not, Bella." He laughed.

"Okay, then yes, this is better."

"Alright, just hold on to the saddle, okay? We're just going to trot around the field."

I nodded and held on tight, but I kept my eyes closed.

"Ahhh!" I yelled once we started moving.

"Relax," he said again. "Just enjoy it."

I slowly squinted, opening my eyes just the smallest bit. When everything seemed safe, I opened up my eyes entirely, and I couldn't help but laugh at the feeling. _It was enthralling._

"We're moving!" I exclaimed. "Like, really moving."

I twisted back so I could see his face, and he smiled back at me. "I told you it wasn't so bad."

"It's kind of nice," I noted while looking back ahead.

He held me just a little bit tighter. "Yes, it is."

**O.o**

The day passed by too quickly after that, and before I knew it, I was all showered and sitting alone in my bedroom, listening to the chorus of the nighttime crickets again.

I walked over to my desk and pulled out a pen and some notebook paper, sitting down at the old wooden chair. My mom had made me promise that I would write to her this summer; granted I couldn't send them anywhere, but she wanted to be able to read about my experiences when she got back this fall.

I wanted to tell her about Edward, but knowing my mother, I didn't want to indulge into any graphic details about how he made my heart race, or how whenever he was around my skin tingled with excitement.

After I finished writing her about all the details, excluding the cute boy, I pulled out my journal and told it instead.

If there was one thing I wanted from this summer, it was to remember…everything.

**o.O**

"Good morning, Uncle Charlie!" I greeted as I walked into the kitchen a few days later. It was just past nine in the morning, and I found my uncle perched in his favorite chair at the table.

"Have you eaten yet? I was thinking about making a big breakfast," I asked cheerfully.

He looked up from his trusted paper and looked at me skeptically but smiled regardless. "You're up early. I thought you were going to sleep in today since I wasn't forcing you to do hard labor out back."

"I would hardly call it hard labor," I replied with a laugh. "Besides, I have plans to go down to the river today."

"Uh huh," he spoke slowly. "And who are you going down to the river with?"

I busied myself by pulling out a skillet and some mixing bowls. "Um, you know, Edward," I murmured softly. We had confirmed plans before he left the other day.

He took a deep breath, and I knew it couldn't have been good. "Bella, I think it's great that you're hanging out with the Masen boy, but I think you need to make some other friends, too. Preferably some that you don't have an interest in riding."

I turned beat red. _So he did catch that…._

"Uncle Charlie, don't worry," I said quickly, ignoring the ride comment. "It's not just Edward and I…a ton of his friends are going. There's a whole group of us."

"Don't break my trust…" he warned.

I stopped gathering supplies and turned to look at him. "Please don't worry. We're just friends. I have no interest in a summer fling, anyway. They never last…definitely not worth the heartbreak." I tried to sound as convincing as I could…for my benefit, as well.

I hadn't seen Edward since the horse extravaganza, and I'd had many long hours to think about things. I had barely spent any time with him, and already my head was a mess. I was getting in too deep…and for what? Just to leave him at the end of the summer? Could I really expect anything to happen when we lived so far away? I had been delusional. So I had decided to take a step back and really just enjoy his _friendship._

It was what was best for both of us. Love at seventeen could never amount to anything, anyway.

_Right?_

**O.o**

Charlie had to drive into Raleigh shortly after breakfast to do some business, so I was left to fend for myself until Edward picked me up. He wasn't due to the house until after noon, so I tried to keep busy as best I could.

I cleaned, showered, and changed my clothes…three times. After I finally settled on my yellow bikini, jean skirt, black tank, and flip-flops, I settled down on the couch and just waited. I brought the book that I had tried to read the other day with me, and I got comfortable.

Things were just getting interesting with my characters when I heard a knock at the door. I jumped up, probably too quickly for my whole 'just-friends' mentality. But when I opened the wooden frame, it wasn't who I had expected.

"Riley," I greeted in surprise.

"Hey, Bella, you ready?" He stood at the top step of the porch in nothing but sandals, board shorts, and a thin, white t-shirt. His blond hair that normally hung down in his eyes was pushed back by a pair of aviator sunglasses. "Edward's waiting in his truck," he added after I didn't say anything for a moment.

I tried to conceal the look of relief that passed through my features.

"Yeah, just let me lock up." I quickly walked back into the house and grabbed my own sunglasses, along with the key that Charlie left for me on the kitchen counter.

Edward's hand was tapping against his steering wheel to the beat of whatever song he had playing on the stereo when I climbed in. Because there wasn't a backseat, the three of us had to squeeze up front. It was a very tight fit between the two of them, and both my legs were pressed against either one of theirs, our shoulders also touching.

I quickly went through my checklist of that morning to make sure I had put on deodorant…_I think we're in the clear._ I had hoped so, at least.

I tugged at my jean skirt as it rode up my thighs as much as I could, trying to be modest and all, but I saw Edward's eyes flash down to my bare legs.

"I think you're fighting a losing battle there, Bella," he joked as he tore his eyes back to the road.

I nudged his side with my elbow, but I didn't say anything in response.

He chuckled, but then continued to sing along with the song.

"How far of a drive is it?" I asked, trying to gauge how much time I would need to control my traitorous body in these tight quarters.

"To the spot we're going to, it's about an hour."

I sighed heavily. _Oh, hell…_

"At least it's nice out," Riley noted, looking out the rolled down window. "I heard it was supposed to storm."

"Nah," Edward countered. "It's not gonna get bad 'til later tonight. Sucks, too, because Rachel was plannin' on having a bonfire."

"Aren't her parents out of town?"

"Yeah, they went down to Wilmington for the weekend. Beats the hell out of me why they left Rachel of all people alone with the house for an entire weekend, but, whatever; more fun for us."

Riley laughed while I sat there confused. I had no idea who Rachel was or anything about this bonfire.

"You want to come, Bella…if the rain holds off, that is?"

I turned my head to the right to look at Riley as he asked me, but I couldn't help but feel Edward go stiff besides me.

"No, it's okay," I answered sweetly. I didn't want either of them to feel like I expected to be their tag along all summer. I knew they had their own group of friends, and I didn't want to intrude; I was already going to the river with them today, and I had stolen Edward from the fair last week.

"You sure?" he asked again.

"Oh, yeah. I have summer reading I have to do, anyway," I excused with a wave of my hand.

Edward chuckled. "You and your books."

"Hey!" I exclaimed in mock hurt. "I happen to like my books, thank you very much."

"You want to be an English teacher or some shit?" Riley inquired.

"God, no. Being in high school for four years is enough for me, thanks. I could never go back and teach. I actually want to write my own book one day."

"Oh yeah?" Edward asked. "I didn't know that. That's really cool," he commented, sounding sincere. "What do you want to write about?"

"Um," I mumbled, thinking about it. "I don't really know yet. I'm not sure I have enough life experience to have any interesting ideas at the moment. I guess I'll just have to see where life takes me."

"I think you should write about me," he answered smugly, causing Riley to laugh.

"Oh yeah? Why is that?"

"Because I'm just awesome," he answered as if it were obvious. "And, besides, I'm teaching you to ride a horse, and I won you that panda bear…I'll provide you a whole bunch of life experiences to write about."

"Wow, man," Riley mocked. "Just…wow."

"Don't be mean," I chided, looking right at him. "I would like to see you provide some monumental life experiences that are worthy of a story!"

He chuckled before turning to look me in the eye. "That seems like a challenge, northern girl."

I shrugged my shoulders, egging him on.

"Okay, Ohio," Riley agreed, "challenge accepted."

He and I shook hands while Edward exaggeratedly rolled his eyes.

Riley reached over me and slapped Edward's thigh. "Don't be jealous, Edward…you can play, too," he mocked.

"What? I'm not jealous."

I laughed and settled back into a comfortable position in my seat. It was already looking like a very long ride.

**O.o**

By the time we made it to our spot, my body was dripping in sweat from the ridiculous temperatures. I was not used to this heat at all, and it bothered me that it didn't even seem to trouble the boys in the slightest.

When Edward climbed out of the truck, I really noticed his attire. His dark blue swim trunks hung low on his waist, and he quickly removed his gray tank top, leaving his tan chest visible for the whole world to see. After the initial few seconds of gawking, I whipped my eyes away and refused to focus on the sight again.

I then continued to berate myself that the first time I saw Edward after my friends-only resolution had to be where he would be half naked. _Lovely idea, Bella._

"You okay?" Edward asked, his feet the only thing blocking my vision of the gravel parking lot.

"Peachy, just really hot. The weather is hot," I clarified. "Nothing else is hot."

"I'm so glad were friends."

I looked up at him at his strange comment. "Okay…?"

He smirked and responded, "I'm just really looking forward to being a first hand witness to all of your ridiculously funny word vomit all summer."

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest. "I should start charging for my entertainment. Might as well make some money from my embarrassment."

"Aw, don't be embarrassed; it's charming," he joked.

"What are you guys waiting for? Let's go," Riley walked over from the other side of the truck to join us. "You going like that, Bella?" he asked, motioning to my covered body.

"Um, yes?" I took notice how he was only in his shorts now, too.

"You might want to take your clothes off here…we have to swim to the place were going to."

"Say what?" I questioned seriously.

Edward laughed but kicked off his shoes and threw them in the bed of his truck. "It's a bit of a hike, but not too bad. And then we swim across the river, hike a little bit more, and then we reach our secret spot." He smiled at me wickedly, and I seriously regretted not wearing a more modest bathing suit. I really didn't want to hike any trails in just this flimsy material.

"No one ever clued me in to the whole hiking part of this trip. Why can't we just stay by the shore of the river?"

Riley sighed exasperatedly. "We have a special spot, Ohio. Don't be difficult."

I rolled my eyes at him. "You guys aren't taking me to some private location to kill me and dump my remains in the river, are you?"

"You are so weird," Riley stated.

"We're not going to hurt you, Bella," Edward said at the same time. Right as he finished speaking, a car horn sounded behind us, causing us all to turn around.

A red sedan swerved quickly into a spot, and a whole group of people piled out of it.

"Oh, damn. Witnesses. Now we really can't kill her," Riley said in a serious tone.

Edward laughed, but I ignored him. A really tall girl with reddish-blonde hair came bouncing in our direction. She had apparently already slipped off her clothes, and she was dressed only in her tiny black bikini and sunglasses.

"Hey, y'all," she greeted in a deep southern accent.

"Hey, Rachel," they said in unison. _So, this was Rachel._

"Rach, this is Bella," Riley introduced. I reached out my hand to shake hers, but she simply pulled me into a hug instead. _Okay…this is new._

"Nice to meet you, Bella. What a pretty name!"

"Uh, thanks," I stammered. "Nice to meet you, too."

"How do y'all know each other?" she asked, looking between the three of us.

"Bella is Charlie Swan's niece," Edward answered. "She's staying here for the summer."

His response must have been enough to placate her, and she smiled brightly at me in return. "Mr. Swan is such a treat. He's good friends with my parents. Very nice man."

It was either me, or the heat must have really gotten to these people over the years. The niceness was just…borderline sickening.

"Yeah, he's great," I agreed, my tone not nearly as cheery as hers.

By the time our exchange ended, the rest of the group had caught up with us. There were two other girls, one I recognized from the fair, but the other I didn't know. Three other guys were with them, all dressed in only their suits. Suddenly feeling overdressed, I quickly stripped down into just my yellow bikini, leaving my shoes, skirt, and shirt with Edward's clothes in the back of his truck.

"Y'all ready?" he asked, but his eyes were on me when I turned back around.

Everyone nodded and began to walk towards the direction of the path.

"Come on, Bella." I looked up and Edward had his hand outstretched to take mine. "Just, so, you know, you don't fall, or anything."

I smiled at him and placed my small hand in his large one, and all too soon it felt like I could quite literally see my friends-only plan evaporate away with the summer heat.

**End Notes:**

**Next update – soon. **

**Please review : ) **


	6. Chapter 6

**Those of you who are reviewing – I wish I could send you Rob giggles. Thank you for supporting this fic. **

**Special thanks to ginginlee for betaing and morethanmyself for prereading since my lovely lizzylillyrose is out of town. **

**2010**  
_"Hi, Bella," he said nervously, his hands shoved deep into his pockets._

_"Edward Masen," I whispered, a small laugh escaping my lips. I looked to him and then to the horse, finding his eyes again. I had no idea how long I was out riding, and I felt bad if he had to wait. "I'm sorry, I hope you haven't been waiting on me for long…"_

_He laughed, my comment taking him by surprise, I suppose. He turned a nice shade of pink, and his eyes shot down to his boots. "You have no idea," he drawled slowly._

_I didn't understand, but okay…_

_Both of us were at a loss for words, and the moment got more awkward by the second. I tried desperately thinking of a way to cut the silence, so I offered the only thing I had…_

_"You want to stay for dinner?"_

**O.o**  
**Chapter 6: 2010**

_Dinner…_had I really just invited _Edward_ to stay for dinner? It seemed so wrong, so foreign, so…_normal._

He fidgeted, and long gone was the boy with the sly smile who could turn me to jello with just a glance. I fought to see the confidence and strength of the eighteen-year-old-Edward. Instead, I stared into the blue eyes of a tired man, his face painted with the lines that had come from the stresses of life. His shoulders, broader than I remembered, hung with a slight sense of defeat.

"Dinner?" he asked, and a smile finally graced his lips. "You're not cooking, are you?" He laughed lightly, his eyes looking far away. "If my memory serves me correctly, the last time you tried to cook for me it ended pretty badly."

I rolled my eyes at the memory, but I couldn't help but laugh, as well. "That was ages ago – I promise, my cooking has improved. I've even perfected some southern recipes your mom tried to teach me back then. I have to say, they taste much better."

"No food poisoning, then?" He seemed much more relaxed, more collected and at ease at the simple mention of our past.

"Only if it's intentional." I smirked playfully.

He laughed and nodded. "Alright, I guess I can stay. Only if you insist, of course." He looked at me slyly, raising an eyebrow.

I smiled at him, mustering the confidence that he instilled in me when I was just a girl, and looked at him pointedly. "Edward Masen, it has been way too long since I have seen you. Please, stay for dinner. I insist. I was just about to cook for Charlie, anyway."

He looked at me strangely; his eyebrow raised just the slightest. "At least let me help you get the horse back in the stable," he answered after a moment.

Edward led Jenna back into the barn while I walked up the back porch steps, pausing at the door to remove my muddy boots. I walked in to find my uncle perched in front of the TV, snoring loudly as the baseball game got ignored by his slumber. I figured that Charlie wouldn't have minded Edward staying for dinner, especially considering the stunt that he had pulled this morning, so I got to work without his consent.

I searched high and low for decent food to cook in the kitchen cupboards, but I only found about a week's worth of frozen meals and a few cans of vegetables. I sighed heavily, racking my brain for what I could possibly cook.

I stood with my hands raised above me, angrily gripping the white wood of the deteriorating cupboards and intensely staring into the vacant space when I heard a door slam behind me. I jumped at the noise, my hand flying to cover my heart.

A laughing Edward came walking into the kitchen. "Jumpy, much?" he mocked, pulling out a kitchen chair to take a seat.

"I'm just not used to loud noises, or people, I guess," I reasoned without much thought, bringing my attention back to the empty cabinet, willing food to appear.

"You're not used to people?" he asked incredulously. "Have you been living in seclusion for the past twenty years, or something?" I knew it was just joking, but I couldn't find the strength to tell him that it sure felt that way.

"Not exactly," I went with instead.

"So…" he eluded.

I turned just my head to look at him. There was a moment, right then, when our eyes locked and something stopped. My brown eyes glued to his blue ones, my breath sounding loud in my ears. Something hit me in that second; an overwhelming sense of sadness overcame every part of my body. I felt on the verge of crumbling, like I was literally deteriorating from his stare. A mirrored look seem to cross his features, as well, and, before I knew it, Edward was out of his seat, across the kitchen, and had me wrapped in his arms.

His touch, his smell, his voice flowing softly in my ear completely cracked any resolve, any strength that I had left, and sent me straight into tears. Heavy sobs wracked through my small body, and I clung onto him for dear life. I had pent up everything from the past few years, not willing to allow my ex-husband to see me break. My pride was that only thing I had left from that marriage, and I refused to have that be taken away, too. However, that is exactly what led me to the sob fest in Edward's arms.

"Oh, Bella," he cooed, softly stroking the back of my head. His voice, the realization that I was here, only made me cry harder.

The cries eventually lessened, and with each deep breath I felt more and more like an idiot. After all of these years, _this_ was the first impression I gave him. But he didn't come up with a hurried excuse and leave; he didn't mock me or joke about my weak behavior. He simply pressed my back up against the counter and ran his calloused thumbs over my tear-stained cheeks and across my salty lips.

"What has life done to you?" he asked so softly that I wasn't sure if the words were even meant for me to hear.

"I'm sorry," I answered eventually, sniffing loudly and unattractively, trying my hardest to gain control. "I don't know where that came from."

He smiled sadly and brushed a few strands of fallen hair behind my ears. "It's okay," he responded, his eyes finally reaching mine.

I took in his proximity as his body was still practically pressed up against mine, the heat rolling off of him in waves. My fingers gently fingered the fabric of his shirt, claiming the attention of my eyes so I wouldn't have to look at him.

"Why are you here, Bella?" he asked eventually, his voice still soft and caressing.

I took a deep breath and gave him the answer that I had been telling myself for weeks. "Charlie is sick; he needs me to take care of him."

His hand rose and gently gripped my chin, lifting it so I was forced to meet his piercing gaze. "Is that the only reason why you came back?"

What was I supposed to say? That I came back because my marriage fell apart? That I was drowning in my own self-pity and loneliness? That I literally didn't have anywhere else to go?

No, I couldn't tell him that. "I need to be here," I answered instead.

He dropped my chin and nodded slowly, taking a step back from me.

"Why are you here?" I asked him back.

"What do you mean?" he responded, confused.

"In Johnston County, why do you live here?" My voice took an edge that I hadn't intended it to take, immediately causing Edward to tense up.

"What does that supposed to mean? I've lived here my whole life."

Memories all of a sudden hit me like a ton of bricks, channeling my anger for my life into anger towards him.

"What about all that talk about moving to a big city? Getting out of this Podunk town and doing something with your life? God, all I can remember is you saying how you couldn't wait to leave! So…what happened? Why didn't you go?"

A thousand looks seemed to pass across his face, shifting between shock, anger, sadness, and back to anger.

But he didn't answer my question; all he did was step back closer to me, trapping me, once again, between the counter and his hard body. "Why did it take you twenty-three years to come back?"

I couldn't talk; I couldn't breathe. Edward's breath fanned my face, his anger clearly evident in his words. He suddenly gripped his hair tightly after I didn't respond, and he stepped back again, this time turning his face away from me.

"I have to go," he abruptly said, digging the keys of out his pocket and storming out the front door. He didn't even give me a second glance on his way out, but my eyes never left his retreating form.

"What's with all the yelling?" A tired looking Charlie stood in the doorway to the kitchen, rubbing the back of his neck.

I turned back and starred into the empty cupboard. "Nothing," I said dryly. It was always nothing.

**O.o**

I busied myself into my work the next few days, not wanting to fall behind on my editorial duties. And, well, because I needed a damn distraction. I did not come back here for Edward! I would repeat that to myself like a mantra, forcing myself to believe it. I did not come back for the memories; I did not come back to re-live the past.

He wasn't even supposed to be here…I was never meant to see him again.

This was not some fairytale or some ending of a cheesy book. This was life, and life's personal goal seemed to be to find every way to fuck me over, so any _idea_ of becoming involved with Edward was just absolutely ludicrous. I didn't even know the man.

But his last question swam in my mind for days, haunting me with an underlying truth. Why didn't I come back? Why did it take me so many years to finally return?

I had always insisted that Charlie come up north to visit me, or he and I would meet somewhere in the middle. I always refused to come back to North Carolina. But why?

I fought the answer that surfaced to my mind, not wanting to believe it myself.

Coming back meant tampering with that summer, replacing those memories with new ones.

And I wasn't willing to let that go, no matter if it meant obscuring any potential future. Because he wasn't supposed to be here, and even if he were, I knew I wouldn't have been able to handle another ending like the first.

It all boiled down to one truth: Edward Masen broke my heart, and no matter how much time or distance I put between us, I was still too fragile for him to break it again.

**O.o**

It was so incredibly hot in this house, and of course it was even hotter outside. There wasn't even a breeze to accommodate for the extreme heat today, and I was literally sweating myself into dehydration.

"Charlie, how can you take this?" I asked from my sprawled out position on his couch. He had a fan plugged in, directed at his seat in his recliner. I didn't have the heart to switch it in my direction.

"What's that, dear?" he asked, not even bothering to remove his eyes from the TV.

"The heat. How are you not suffering?"

"Oh, hush, Bella. One day without air conditioning won't kill you. The guy said he will be by first thing tomorrow."

"I feel like I'm becoming delusional from the heat stroke I'm currently experiencing." I knew I sounded like a bitchy-teen, but I couldn't find it in me to care enough to stop.

"Then get out for a while, then. There are plenty of places in this town that are air conditioned."

I huffed and peeled myself from the couch, my skin leaving damp imprints in the fabric. _Gross._

"Do you need groceries?" I asked, already knowing the answer to that question. I walked into the kitchen to grab my keys and purse without bothering to listen to his response. "I'll be back soon."

His mumble and air wave was my dismissal, and I pushed open the screen door to the blinding sun. Super Walmart was packed. Obviously people had the same idea as I had to escape the heat.

There was a vast range of people shifting through the aisles and taking up space on the massive gray floor. I took my time pushing my cart around, not really focusing on where I was going or what I was buying. I was suddenly so angry at being there…at Super Walmart. This wasn't what this community was built off of…a large chain that stole the business of the local farmers and markets.

My anger might have been a little bit misplaced, but it was just another thing that wasn't the same as I had remembered. The layout of the town wasn't the same, the atmosphere wasn't the same, the markets weren't the same…Edward wasn't the same.

This had been the exact reason why I didn't come back sooner. It was screwing with everything I knew, everything I had built my memory around. My emotions were already a constant battle of what it chose to remember, always dancing on the thin line of first love and first heart break.

I had still yet to find out which stuck with me more.

**O.o**

After my internal hissy fit at Walmart, I bought a few basic items to cook with, but I ended up driving along the dusty roads until I found what I was looking for. A few small white tents were set up along the side of the highway, and I pulled off to the side of the road and put the car in park.

I walked up to the man sitting behind the chair, and he dipped his cowboy hat in greeting. I took in the signs that were written in paint on boards of wood that stuck in the ground, listing the prices of the different fruit available for purchase. _This was more like it,_ I thought to myself.

I was busy scanning and smelling different peaches when I heard a car pull up behind mine. Two kids with light red hair climbed out of the back seat of the black Suburban. They couldn't have been more than eight or ten. They each ran up to the blocks of fruit and started rambling off requests to who I assumed was their mother, who had red tinted hair that matched theirs perfectly. Her brown purse hung tightly on her shoulder, and her sunglasses blocked off most of her face.

It wasn't until she lowered her glasses and spoke to the man in the chair that the recognition of who she was hit me.

"Rachel?" I asked, surprise laced through my tone.

Her head snapped up at the sound of her name, and a look of confusion crossed her face.

"Yes?" she replied, still not having recognized me.

I took a step closer and reached my hand out to shake hers. "I'm Bella…I guess you would know me as Bella Swan…?" I offered.

Something passed across her face, but it didn't seem to be recognition.

"I came to visit my Uncle Charlie Swan for a summer back in high school…you were friends with Edward and Ri…"

I wasn't sure if she had cut me off before I could finish the last name, or if I just wasn't able to finish it myself.

"Oh yes," she said unimpressed. "The famous Bella Swan." Her tone was dark and unfriendly…she was nothing like the girl who I had become friends with all that time ago. I didn't understand her hostility, and I tried to rack my brain for a memory I must have forgotten of us fighting or something.

"Lana, Patrick, it's time to go," she called out to her children and turned to leave.

"Hold on," I called, lightly touching her arm. She whipped back towards me and her eyes closed into thin slits.

"Listen, _Bella,_" she spat with distaste. "I don't know why you're back here, but you are not welcome. I don't want you anywhere near me, my husband, or my children, do you understand?"

I was flabbergasted, utterly shocked at what the hell had just happened. "Uh, sure," I finally stammered out, any witty remarks completely blown to wayside due to my complete shock.

"Kids, let's go, come on," she called again.

"Oh, come on, Mom! You promised us a watermelon!"

I stood still as stone as Rachel picked up a green melon and paid for it hastily before retreating back to her SUV.

"What the hell was that?" I asked the guy sitting in the chair, not really expecting him to answer.

"A wife who has spent her entire marriage in second place has some right to be angry," he replied simply, no trace of malice in his tone.

I scoffed…_a wife in second place_. Hell, I would know.

"Yeah, thanks," I said bitterly before purchasing my selected fruit.

The drive back to Charlie's was spent in silence. I didn't have the radio on, and I turned my phone off so I wouldn't have any distraction. I ended up driving right past his house, continuing the path that the curvy, vacant road led.

When I pulled up to the hidden entrance of the narrow, rocky road, I prided myself in remembering how to even get here. I drove down the path for a while before the terrain stopped and a beautiful, vast field was laid out before me. I parked the car and climbed out, bringing some fresh fruit and a blanket I found in the back seat with me. I walked through the high grass and patches of flowers, finally finding an old, large tree that sat in the middle of the field.

I circled it and scanned the bark until I could see it…

_I love you, B. – Edward_

The words were faded but not gone completely. Someone must have come back and re-carved it, right? After all this time, they must have…. I laid the blanket on the shaded grass and sat down gingerly, pressing my back into the scratchy bark.

I closed my eyes and I could still see the words carved into the old wood.

_I love you._

Without my consent, a lone tear slipped down my cheek.

_I love you._

Too bad, even then, it hadn't been enough.

**End Notes:**

**Anyone else wonder what the hell happened? If you haven't listened to the song, Strawberry Wine by Deanna Carter, listen to it. Of course, there is more detail than just that, but I think you guys will have a better understanding. **

**And if you guys read my first fic, Family Ties and Guarding Hearts, I will be submitting an outtake of a certain couple's wedding for the fandom for tsunami cause. There are a ton of awesome writers from a bunch of different fandoms that are contributing, so please check it out even if you aren't interested in my piece. **

**As always, please review. **


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: **

**I loved all the reviews…so many of you are so panicked about Edward and Rachel. Sadly, that won't be revealed in this chapter, BUT I will say that no cheating will happen in the fic… well, besides Bella's ex-husband, but that's not a main point. **

**Lovely thanks to my amazing prereader who got this chapter sent to her multiple times, Lizzylillyrose. **

**Special thanks to my betas SparklingTwilight and ginginlee for their amazing work with the mess of my words**

Chapter 7

**1987**

I would have felt a lot better about holding Edward's hand if I didn't feel like mine kept slipping out of it every ten seconds. The sweltering hundred degree heat, on top of my already sweaty, nervous palms, didn't make for a good combination. Add to that my inability to walk in a straight line, and it all combined to a stumbling, embarrassing mess. A few times he even reached out to grab my arm instead, since my hand had obviously failed as a secure gripping post. _Stupid, faulty hands._

But the walk to the river wasn't all too bad. There were some really great moments, like when I would pretend not to notice Edward staring at my barely covered chest when he would pick me up to carry me over a particularly rocky patch so my feet wouldn't get cut, or when he would take a few steps ahead of me and I could see the strong muscles move in his back. Yeah, my whole "friends-only" notion never really stood a chance when a half-naked Edward was involved. I did credit myself for a good effort, though. Well…kind of.

Reaching our spot didn't take as much time as I had expected. We had to swim through part of the river to reach the island so we were already wet by the time we hit our destination. I regretted wearing my yellow bikini, though, because the force of the current seemed to make it its personal mission to remove it from my body while we were swimming. It was all worth the struggle when we got there, however. There were three parts to the spot: an area with branches you could climb up and jump off of, a large tree with wooden steps nailed to it that led to a rope swing, and then just an area where the current wasn't bad that we could swim in.

"Are you ready, Bella?" Edward asked me as we reached the tree with the rope attached. "Or are you too scared?"

His eyes crinkled on the side as he looked at me, and his lips curled into a teasing smirk.

"You don't think I can do it?" I asked in disbelief, crossing my arms over my chest, making the girls extra visible for his wandering eyes.

"Oh, I think you _can_ do it. I just don't think you will."

I wanted to smack the smug look right off of him. "And why is that, exactly?" I stood just a bit taller, playing along with his taunting.

"It's just…so high, and dangerous, and, who knows, there might be fish you could land on," he mocked, being extra dramatic about it.

"So, you think I'm afraid of heights and fish, is that right?" I asked sarcastically, keeping just a hint of a smile on my face.

He just laughed and looked at the other girls in the group who had found a small area that wasn't shaded by the trees to lay out by. "It wouldn't surprise me."

Before I could respond, my head snapped to the side to the noise of an ear piercing scream. All I saw by the time my eyes could focus was a huge splash in the water.

"Must have been Rachel," Edward commented casually.

"So I take it Rachel isn't scared of heights or fish," I said with slight bitterness, unsure of where it came from.

He just laughed and looked back at me. "Nah, Rach isn't scared of anything."

I turned on my heel and walked right up towards the large tree. Before I started climbing I turned around to look at him. "Don't be so quick to generalize me or put me in any sort of classification with those girls," I said, motioning to the sunbathers. "I've never been the kind of girl who just fits a mold. It's best if you learn that sooner rather than later."

I didn't give him a chance to respond; I simply just started climbing until I reached the spot where the rope was dangling. With a deep breath, I grabbed on to the scratchy pale material and pushed off as hard as I could, screaming the entire time my body swung through the air. I finally let go, and it felt like I was flying, the whipping air feeling cold on my wet skin, before I eventually hit the water. My body sank pretty deep since I hit the water with such force, and it took me longer than I expected to break the surface.

I gulped in a huge breath of air as soon as I was able to, only to then be pulled back down into the murky darkness. I felt hands around my torso, except they weren't the calloused, strong hands I was used to. I fought to get back up, panicking, but the harder I tried to swim back up, the tighter the grip got around me. It was getting to the point where I couldn't breathe, and I really started to panic, whipping my arms and legs wildly under water. My lungs started to burn, and I tried to open my eyes, but I wasn't able to see anything. I gripped the arms that held onto me, trying my hardest to pull them from my body, but to no avail.

Finally, another pair of arms grabbed a hold of me, and I was pulled to the surface, gasping for breath.

"What the fuck, man!" I heard Edward yell from behind me as I swam towards the land, no longer feeling safe in the river.

I turned my head around for a second to see Riley laughing beside Edward. "Chill out, dude; it was just a joke," he dismissed.

"A joke? Are you kidding? You could have killed her!"

"Edward, relax," Riley said more defensively. "We do this to every newbie out in the water. You know this! Besides, no harm, no foul, right, Bella?" he yelled over towards me.

I was just pulling myself back onto the island, my anger at what he did finally registering. "Don't touch me again," I said icily. "I couldn't breathe."

"Whoa, didn't know you would be so upset about it. I didn't mean to upset the princess," he mocked, swimming back over to where some of the other guys were. I rolled my eyes and shivered involuntarily.

I waited by the tree for Edward as he made his way to me. "Are you okay?" he asked as he climbed out of the water, the water dripping from his wet bathing suit, turning the dirt into a puddle of dark mud.

"Yeah, thanks for helping me," I said earnestly while wringing out my wet hair.

"I'm really sorry he pulled that shit. He can be a real asshole." He looked nervous and shifted his weight from one foot to the other, avoiding looking in my direction.

"Yeah," I muttered, not really knowing what else to say.

"Look, we can leave if you want. I would totally understand."

He finally looked at me again, and I looked him in the eye, knowing from his expression that he was being sincere. But when I looked around at how beautiful it was, I really didn't want to leave. We didn't have anything like this in Ohio, and I didn't want one jerk to keep me from enjoying myself.

But I must have taken too long to reply because Edward quickly said, "There's another spot we could go to."

That got my attention. "Really?"

A smile lit his face as he nodded. "We have to swim a little ways. Are you up for that?" he asked.

"Uh, sure," I complied, shrugging my shoulders.

"Great." He turned and yelled to the group that we were going to the falls and that we would be back later.

After the nods of recognition from the group, Edward walked ahead of me. "Come on."

I eagerly followed behind him, happy for one that I got to stare at his broad shoulders again.

We eventually reached the end of the island and Edward jumped into the water, waiting for me to join him. I saw him look over my practically naked body again as I stood at the edge of the land, and with a wink in his direction, I dove into the river.

He and I leisurely made our way through the river, switching from actually swimming to lying on our backs as we gently drifted toward his spot. The sun felt hot on my face as I lay face up in the flowing water, riding the current as it took me where it wanted. I shut my eyes and let the orange color fill my eyelids, enjoying the cloudless blue sky. My ears were submerged in the water, blocking out the noise, allowing a real sense of peace to take over.

I eventually felt droplets on my face, and I moved my position so I was vertical again, looking for where they came from. Edward was beside me and he motioned his head to what was coming up soon. It looked like the water just cut off, stopping mid-stream. As I got closer, I could see that it was a waterfall. Well, actually it was a wall that was built in the river, and the excess water flowed over it, creating a small waterfall with a cave-like area underneath.

Once we reached the edge, Edward actually stood up on it and helped me to my feet to join him.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" he asked as we looked around.

The woods seemed to encase us, and looking back towards the river, it seemed like it went on for miles. The sun glistened beautifully on the rippling waves, and the sound of the falls behind us only added to the beautiful picture.

"I can't believe more people aren't here," I said in disbelief. "This is awesome."

He laughed quietly and nodded. "Yeah, I like that it's quiet, though. Too many people would ruin it for me, I think."

I looked at him and smiled. "Can we go underneath?" I asked.

"Of course! That's the best part!" He climbed down the rocks that were off to the side, and I went slowly behind him, knowing full well that he was getting a lovely view of my ass the entire way down.

The waterfall was only about fifteen feet high, creating a flowing wall from the outside and the man-made cave beneath. I walked right after Edward into the cave, and the noise of the water bouncing off the walls was almost deafening. We had to yell at each other to hear anything the other was saying, but it was so exhilarating. It felt like we were trapped, separated from the rest of the world.

"This is sweet, right?" Edward asked as he walked through the cave area.

"Perfect," I agreed. "Just perfect," I said softly, those words only loud enough for my ears.

"My dad used to take me here as a kid," he admitted, taking a seat on one of the rocks, patting a spot next to him for me to join.

"Oh, really? I bet that was a lot of fun."

"Yeah," he said, this time more somberly, "it was."

He sat quiet then, just staring at the waterfall.

"Do you guys still come here often?"

"Um," he mumbled, looking down at his hands. "Not really," he finally offered.

"Oh," I said stupidly, not knowing what else to say.

"I don't know," he relayed eventually. "My family just isn't how it used to be anymore."

I sat quietly, knowing that he would offer more when or if he wanted to.

When he never said anything, I finally chimed in. "I never really knew my dad."

He turned his head in my direction, but it was my turn to keep my head down.

"He and my mom were never married. They had one of those 'all or nothing' kind of relationships. It was either really great or really horrible between them. When I was born, it was during one of those really horrible times so that's why I don't have his last name. But, um, he died in a car accident when I was really little, so my memories of him are really fuzzy at best."

"That sucks, Bella. I'm really sorry."

I shrugged my shoulders and picked at the smaller rocks beneath my feet. "Charlie was there a lot when I was growing up, for both me and my mom, I guess. I remember he lived with us for a few years before he had to get back to Clayton."

"He's a good man," Edward agreed.

"Yeah. I just feel bad because I feel like it's my fault he's never met someone and settled down with a family. My mom on her own is a full time job, and then with me on top of that, Charlie never stood a chance to have his own wife and kids," I explained guiltily.

Edward just laughed. "You don't actually think that way, do you?" he asked incredulously.

I shrugged my shoulders again.

"Bella, that's just ridiculous. Charlie is a grown man who has made his own choices his life. Besides, he's been living back in North Carolina for at least ten years now; he has had plenty of time to settle down and find a family if he wanted to."

"I guess."

"Well, you are definitely not the reason he doesn't have kids. Or," he said after a minute, "maybe you are."

I looked at him and raised my brow.

He casually swung his arm around me and scooted closer. "Maybe having you in his life was enough for him," he said in my ear, just loud enough that I could hear him over the rushing water.

I turned my head to look at him, not realizing how close our faces would be. His lips hovered just a few inches away, his blue eyes burning through my own. I caught him glancing down towards my lips, and I ran my tongue across them instinctively.

"I have a feeling that you would be enough for anybody."

I laughed nervously and scooted away, wanting to put a few more inches between us. "You're just full of those one-liners, aren't you?" I joked, my eyes focusing back on the water.

He laughed, too, but I could tell that it was forced. And with a touch of bitterness he said, "It runs in the family, I suppose."

I looked over at him, then, my facial expression telling him to continue and explain the thought.

"What you said back there, about not fitting a mold," he said instead, taking the conversation in another direction. "What did you mean by that?"

"Oh," I said, trying to think back to why I had told him that. "I guess I just don't want to be treated like how you treat everyone else. The whole stigma of a typical seventeen year old girl doesn't really apply to me. I'm not into makeup and fancy clothes, or gossiping about boys to my girlfriends." He laughed at my admission. "But it goes further than that, too," I said a bit more seriously. "I don't want to be just a girl you spit charming pick-up lines at. I'm not that girl that can be caught with smooth words and a pretty face."

I sat there nervously for what seemed like eons waiting for him to respond, hesitant that I stepped over that line from cool chick to crazy lady.

"I don't get you, Bella. For the life of me I can't seem to figure you out." _Crazy lady it was, then._

"Um, okay?" I practically asked, not knowing where he was going with that.

"The other day, by the horses, you were strong one second and begging me to get you off the horse the next. And then you couldn't put a whole sentence together, rambling on about riding my horse and how Charlie would kill me for it." His arms rested on his bent knees and his face was turned in my direction as he broke a smile. "Now today, I hear you talking about your favorite books and your dreams, and then your family… and then you say how you don't want to be 'picked-up' or whatever. I'm just at such a loss on how to do this." He ran one of his hands through his wet hair, making it stand up on ends.

"How to do what?" I asked as quietly as the loud rushing noise of the water would allow.

In what seemed the most genuine gesture, Edward gently picked up my hand that was resting on my thigh and laced his fingers between mine. I could practically feel his pulse through the pad of his thumb…or maybe it was just my own because my heart was beating so fast.

"This," he said, holding our hands up in the air between us. "I want this," he added on more quietly, not once breaking eye contact as he gave my hand a gentle squeeze.

"Why?" I finally asked, my question barely audible.

"Because you don't fit a mold."

Our eyes were locked, and even though it was darker in the cave area, I could still see specks of light shine in his blue eyes. I, for the life of me, couldn't find the right words so I did the only thing I could think of. I brought the hand that was still being held in midair closer to me and gently loosened our grip, taking his one hand in both of mine. With a deep breath, I closed my eyes and placed a soft kiss in the middle of his palm.

When I looked back to him, I swore I had never seen him smile so big.

**O.o**

The mood, of what I now refer to as "The Cave of Admission," lifted and we spent probably another hour exploring the area and just getting to know each other a little bit better. Edward told me how he was going to UNC Chapel Hill in the fall to study law, and how he wanted nothing more than to get out of this small town and start a life of his own. He wanted to move to a big city and make a name for himself. If he stayed here, he had said, he wouldn't be remembered for anything. His legacy, according to him, could only be made outside the confines of Clayton, North Carolina.

I didn't have the heart to tell him that I didn't agree with him at all.

I personally didn't believe in the whole legacy idea. I just thought that you are who you are. What is a "name" without a family? What good is a life without someone to love?

What good is a legacy, I thought, if there's no one there to care enough to remember it?

We eventually walked down the long wall that led to original path we hiked on earlier that day. We opted to go back to the truck and wait for his friends there instead of going all the way back to the rope swing. But, when we got back to the parking lot, we saw Rachel sitting on the back of Edward's truck bed.

"Hey, y'all," she said cheerily as she saw us.

"Hey, Rach," Edward greeted a bit confused. "Where is everybody?"

He looked around and saw the car that the other group came in was gone.

"Oh, they left probably a half hour ago, or so. I told Riley I would ride in here with y'all, since I didn't think Bella would want to ride all the way back with him after the stunt he pulled today."

I smiled softly and blush rose in my cheeks. "Thanks," I offered. She just smiled widely and hopped down.

"So, are you guys ready?"

"Mmm hmm," we murmured in agreement. Edward dropped my hand and pulled out our belongings from the bed of the truck and handed them to me. I quickly pulled on my shorts, but opted to keep my shirt off so the warm air could dry my still wet bathing suit.

After I slid on my sandals, I went to go climb into the middle seat of the truck, but, to my dismay, Rachel had beaten me to the spot.

I climbed into the side passenger without a word and shut the door soundly behind me as Edward did the same before starting the engine.

"So, are you coming over tonight, Bella?" Rachel asked about halfway through the trip. "I'm having a party since my parents are out of town."

"Oh," I started. "I don't think so."

"I actually invited her earlier," Edward chimed in, his fingers tapping to the beat of the music on his steering wheel.

"Well, Bella, don't be ridiculous. Of course you're coming."

"I don't…I wouldn't know what to tell my Uncle Charlie. Maybe next time," I said awkwardly, looking out the window.

"Just tell him you're sleeping at my house-a girls night," she offered, her natural enthusiasm breaking through.

"Come on, Bella," Edward pushed, and I looked over to see him smiling wickedly at me.

I eventually sighed in defeat and shrugged. "I'll try, but he's a lot more intuitive than he leads on," I said about my uncle.

"You just leave it to me, and we'll be all set." Rachel sat smugly in the middle seat, ending the conversation as she started singing along with the music on the radio.

We eventually made it back to Charlie's house, and I climbed out of Edward's truck with a promise from Rachel that she would pick me up around eight to take me back to hers.

I couldn't help but feel sick to my stomach about the whole idea. Something just didn't feel right about it, but I brushed it off and waved goodbye, agreeing to her plans.

I thought back to what Edward and I had talked about by the waterfall, about making a legacy for ourselves. As I reached the top step of the porch, I turned my head around and saw the blue truck drive away and I thought, _well, might as well start now._

**O.o**

**End Notes:**

**So, I have an entry in the Love Like Fire contest called **_**There You'll Be, **_**and lizzylillyrose made an AMAZING banner to go with it. If you all would care to check it out and review for me, that would be awesome! It's just listed on my page under my stories. **

**Okay, y'all, I'm going to try to get another update to you soon, but I have finals these next two weeks, so I'm super stressed. However, summer is right around the corner, so I'm really planning on updating once a week starting in early May. **

**As always, please review!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi, everyone! I'm hoping this post will be the start of weekly postings since I'm officially on summer vacation. Even if I don't get it up weekly, they will be posted a lot faster. Thank you all for your continued support of this little known fic. **

**To my wonderful betas, SparklingTwilight and ginginlee, thank you for your corrections and suggestions! And of course, my amazing pre-readers, who always have many great ideas, lizzylillyrose and morethanmyself, thank you so much. All of you guys are simply amazing. **

**Stephanie owns Edward and Bella. I would like to think I get Seth, but nope, not him. But I do take claim of Rachel. Oh hell, who am I kidding? She's not really mine, either. **

**Quick catch up: last 2010 post, Bella ran into Rachel and her two kids, and then went to the field where her and Edward shared and got super emotional. **

**Chapter 8 **

**2010**

"Can I from now on refer to you as Old Maid? Not even _the_ old maid, just Old Maid," he asked from his seat on a splintered wooden stool as he scubbed some equipment.

I was seriously going to kill this kid. "Seth, if you like your life, I suggest retracting that statement immediately."

He and I were out back working in the barn. Unfortunately, it was pouring rain, so we couldn't ride today, but listening to the pounding raindrops on the roof really wasn't such a bad thing. It was actually pretty relaxing, soothing even.

"Oh, come on, Bella. I think it's very fitting." If I hadn't gotten to know Seth over the past few weeks, he would have been castrated already.

"I'm warning you right now, I won't cry at your funeral," I said nonchalantly as I ran a brush through Jenna's mane.

"Just think about it…you're old…"

"Seth…" I warned.

"Alone…" he continued.

"Seth!"

"You like animals, so I see cats in your future."

I stopped what I was doing and turned around to look at him, trying unsuccessfully to shoot daggers through my eyes towards his head. "Seriously, where are you going with this?"

"I think I even see a gray hair!" He got up from his stool and picked a strand of hair out from my head. I smacked his arm away with the brush I had been using on the horse.

"I do not have gray hair," I rebutted. "I dyed my hair only a week ago," I continued under my breath.

"So, are you interested in dating, then?" he asked with a smile.

"We went over this, kid…not happening between us." I laughed as I motioned my hand between our bodies.

He rolled his eyes but continued. "Not with me, Old Maid. I know a guy," he suggested excitedly.

"Oh yeah? You know a guy. Has he at least hit puberty yet, or are we still swinging in the baby leagues?"

"I wouldn't be so quickly to object; he's a catch."

"Seth, really, I'm in no place in my life to be dating anyone, catch or no catch,"I said seriously, turning my attention back to Jenna.

"Okay, Old Maid." He chuckled, sitting back down in his chair.

I swung back around and glared at him. "Am I really an old maid?" I asked more softly, my insecurities rising to the surface.

He shrugged his shoulders, but I could see the motives behind his eyes. "UGH! Fine! I'll go on a date with…your friend," I surrendered. Besides, one date couldn't hurt, right?

He smiled widely at me.

"He is around my age, though, right?" I tried to clarify, not wanting to be thrown in jail on pedophile charges.

"Oh yeah. He's really old, just like you." He laughed, causing me to chuck the horse's brush at him.

"Ow, Bella!" he complained, rubbing his arm. "You might want to be nice to little old me…after all, I'm now your very own cupid!"

"Should I buy you a diaper and little red arrows, then?"

"Ha-ha," he replied sarcastically. "Joke all you want, Old Maid, but when you see this guy, you're going to be forever indebted to my match-maker ways."

I laughed but went to pick my brush back up, anyway. This kid was seriously too much, but I was definitely glad he was around. He was a needed breath of fresh air, a good distraction.

It had been over a week since Edward had stormed out of my kitchen, and I hadn't seen him since. Charlie hadn't said anything to me, but I did catch him try to burn the house down again the other day, so I was pretty sure I knew where he stood on the subject. _Crazy old man._

I just wish I knew what to do here, though. When I was younger, I thought adults knew everything, that they had everything figured out. But here I was…old, alone, and I didn't have a damn clue. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to do anything. Edward seemed so passionate the other day, though. I replayed that in my head over and over again. Why did he get so angry? It just didn't make sense.

"Hey, Bella?" I heard Seth ask after I had already returned to working on Jenna.

"Seriously, kid, I wouldn't push your luck anymore today," I joked, laughing until I turned around

and stopped in my tracks. The person who stood before me made me want to vomit in my mouth; actually, I was pretty sure I did a little bit.

"Alice," I practically choked. I made sure to place the brush I was using down so I wouldn't beat her with it.

She stood in the entryway of the barn, shaking out her umbrella by her side. "Hi, Bella," she replied nervously, fidgeting from foot to foot. The air in the large space was suddenly so full of tension that it was practically visible. Or maybe it was just me that was seeing red.

"Maybe I should go," Seth started, but I whipped my head towards him.

"Sit," I commanded in his direction, harsh enough that he sat down without question.

"What are you doing here?" I asked her, my voice full of venom. All the playfulness and joking that had happened between Seth and I seemed like ages ago in this moment, for I felt like I was reliving the exact memory of walking in on _them._

"Bella, please, don't get upset. I came all the way out here to see you; just let me explain," she tried.

I took a few steps toward her, slowly, painfully. "How dare you come here? You…you were my best friend." All of the rage that I never got to lash out was slowly rising to the surface.

"Bella, I know. I came here to tell you that I'm sorry for hurting you."

"Sorry? You're sorry?" I was on the verge of yelling, trying desperately to keep my composure in front of the kid.

"Yes, of course I am. I didn't mean to hurt you, Bella. It all happened so fast! I fell in love!" she reasoned as if it excused every kiss, every touch, every moment of carefully executed betrayal.

"IN LOVE!" I screamed, finally shattering. _Love…_what did that even mean anymore?

"I really should go." Seth tried to get up to leave again.

"Seth, no," I said firmly, looking over at him, begging with my eyes for him to stay. I needed him here; I needed the support even though he had no idea why. He was my clean air when I felt like I was drowning.

"Bella…" she tried again.

"Alice, he was my husband! I came to you when I thought he was having an affair; I cried on your shoulder." I took a shuddering breath before continuing. "I MOVED INTO YOUR HOUSE WHILE I WAITED FOR THE DIVORCE TO BE FINALIZED!" I was begging for the tears to not spill down my cheeks. "But it was you…it was you all along."

"Bella, please, it's more complicated than that."

"How can it possibly be more complicated than that?" I spat.

She took a deep breath as she stood a bit taller. "I'm pregnant."

I was pretty sure my heart stopped. I always feared that he would leave me because I couldn't give him children. This was just an extra slap in the face. I took a few deep breaths, processing the new information. I don't think her or Seth even dared to breath while I took in the news. I was sure both of them thought I was going to explode, but after looking at her, I only felt pity. I knew that man better than anyone else. _She had no idea._

With a new, calm resolve, I said, "I'm so sorry to hear that."

"Excuse me?" she seethed, grabbing onto her stomach protectively, obviously not expecting my reaction.

"Alice, don't you get it?" I asked disbelievingly. "He is just going to do the same thing to you that he did to me." Did she honestly think that she was the only one he was fooling around with? Of course she wasn't.

"He didn't love you!" she shot defensively. "He loves me!"

I took another step towards her until only a foot separated us. "He doesn't love anyone, Alice. That man has a black soul. If I were you, I would run, fast."

"I came here to apologize, try to make amends. I miss you in my life," she asked with tears welling in her eyes. "Why are you saying such hurtful things?"

I loved how everything was spun to be my fault. I'd had enough. "I refuse to allow you to step all over me for one more second," I rebutted. "Our entire friendship has been what was convenient for you. Hell, even my marriage wasn't convenient for you, so you made sure to end that. I was married to that man for fourteen years, and he dropped me like a dime, so do not think for one second that he wouldn't do the same to you." I could feel my hands shaking, and I wanted her gone. I didn't want to be reminded of what she did to me…of what _he_ did to me. "Now, get out. Do not come back. And do not bother Charlie with your nonsense or pleasantries." I knew how she worked, and I didn't want any of it.

"I want you out. Out of North Carolina, out of my life, for good," I finished as strongly as I could muster.

Hate and malice filled her eyes before she spoke. "He wasn't the one with the black soul, Bella. He wasn't the bad guy. You, after all the years you two were together, refused to let him in. He didn't love you because you didn't let him. You pity me? Well, I pity you, because your life will be spent entirely alone. Do you know why? Because you choose for it to be that way."

She looked around the barn and picked up her umbrella, getting ready to leave. "You're going to end up exactly like Charlie," she stated mater-of-factly. "He was right; I shouldn't have come here." She looked me dead in the eye before stating, "You're not worth it," right before she disappeared back into the rain.

I stood frozen in my spot, staring at the wooden barn door. I felt like I was breathing in ice. After a few moments, I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I turned to look at Seth, who stood next to me, confusion and sadness written on his face.

"I didn't mean what I said earlier, Bella. You know, I think any guy would be lucky to be with you, and you'll find someone soon. I know it."

I smiled sadly and turned to hug him. "Thank you," I whispered, and he gripped me tighter.

"Can we be done for the day? I think we both need out of this barn," he asked, trying to lighten the mood.

"You can go ahead and go. I'm just going to finish up a few extra things in here."

My head was spinning, and I honestly could have used some time by myself. Seth, being the young kid he was, picked up his stuff and practically skipped out of the barn, being released early from the day's work. I envied his enthusiasm, his innocence. I envied his happiness.

Finding out that Alice had been the one who was sleeping with my husband all along was the thing that really pushed me over the edge. I expected betrayal from _him._ After knowing him as long as I had, his infidelity really didn't come as that much of a surprise. Alice, however, that was a killer. She was my best friend, the closest thing I had to a sister.

But it honestly didn't surprise me that she tried to blame me for it. It was always my fault. _I_ was never good enough…always in the wrong.

I picked up a horseshoe and threw it as hard as I could across the barn. I was tired of this! I was sick and tired of being at fault. I did not end my marriage! I did not break my vows! And what the hell was Rachel's problem? I did not destroy her relationship. I didn't even know who her husband was! I hadn't seen her in over two decades, for crying out loud.

This whole 'blame-Bella' philosophy had to stop. It was singlehandedly going to destroy me if it didn't.

It seemed like my entire life was based around waiting for other people, only to be disappointed and then blamed for their mistakes. But I was done…it was time to take my life into my own hands.

And that was exactly what I was going to do.

**O.o**

After getting directions from Uncle Charlie, who was a smug bastard about it the entire time, I got into my car and headed for the fire station. I wasn't going to wait for Charlie to light our house into flames just so I could see him again. He and I had things that we needed to settle. After two decades, it was about time I got some closure.

Wilson Mills Fire Station was an average sized brick building with only a few cars in the attached parking lot. Both engines were tucked away in the garage, so I figured everyone who was on duty was in the house. It was late afternoon, and the rain had finally stopped, opening up to a clear blue sky.

I pulled into an open parking space, taking a shaky breath before turning off the car. My plan seemed so much better when I was back in the barn, high off of the adrenaline from my confrontation with Alice. Being here, even this close to him, took me back to the shy, insecure, seventeen-year-old version of myself. I sighed in frustration. I was letting something else…someone else…beat me again.

_Fuck it,_ I finally thought, grabbing my phone and keys before I got out of the car, slamming the door behind me. If this was the first step to taking my life back, then that was what I was going to do. Alice could shove her "never letting anyone else love me" business right up her ass.

I climbed the steps to the station, not sure what the correct protocol was. Should I have knocked? Walked in? Set the fire alarm off? Really, where was the guide to finding my long lost fire fighter lover when I needed it?

"Excuse me, ma'am, can I help you?" _Oh, thank God._

"Hi, yes!" I said excitedly as I walked down the stairs and towards where he stood by one of the trucks. "I'm looking for Edward Masen. Is he around?"

He smiled and looked me over. "Yeah, Masen's here. And you are?" he asked coyly, as if something was amusing him.

"I'm Bella…" I didn't think giving my last name would have been relevant. Edward didn't even know what it was anymore, anyway, and saying "Swan" made me too much of _that_ girl. I was definitely not Bella Swan anymore.

"Right…_Bella._" He chuckled. "Come on in." He turned around and walked through the garage to a door in the back, and I followed closely behind him.

We entered into a hallway, which broke off into different rooms. One held a washer and dryer, one was a bathroom, and then it finally led into the kitchen.

"Masen," this man yelled, causing a group of men who were sitting at a round table in the center of the room to look up. They stopped playing their cards, and Edward, whose back was towards me, didn't bother turning around.

"What's up, Crowley?" he asked lightheartedly as he dealt out another set of cards to his friends. Too bad none of them were paying attention…they were all focused on me.

"Someone's here to see you."

Finally, he turned around, and it seemed like slow motion as his body pivoted towards me; his once there smile dissolved when he realized that it was me who was standing there.

"Fellas?" this guy who had brought me in asked, causing every one of the guys at the table to stand up and follow him out of the kitchen. I would have been polite, telling them that they didn't have to leave, but I honestly did not want this conversation to have witnesses. Edward must have felt the same way, because he didn't stop them, either.

"Bella," he finally said, still sitting in his chair. "Hi." I watched as he studied me from head to toe, almost like he was memorizing what I looked like.

"Hi," I responded, playing with my keys in my hands. "So, I had this whole speech planned out, but, well…" I trailed off.

"Um," he mumbled, tearing his eyes from mine. "Here, come sit down." He motioned to the table and pulled out the chair next to him.

I walked over and sat in it gingerly. Seriously, my mood swings were giving me whip lash. First, I was hell bent on talking to him, then I got all nervous, then my resolve came back full swing, and now, here I was, unable to form a single significant thought. I hated and loved that he did this to me. I hated all the different feelings, but I loved feeling _something._

"Bella, listen, the other day…"

"Edward, I…" we started at the same time, earning a nervous chuckle from the both of us, which then just sent us back into the awkward silence.

"Do you want a tour?" he finally blurted out with a smile.

I smiled in return and nodded my head. "A tour sounds great."

I left my phone and keys on the table and followed Edward out of the kitchen. "Do you guys actually cook in there?" I asked as we walked into the next room. "It's just so clean."

He laughed. "Yeah, we cook. You're just lucky you came when you did…it was cleaning day."

"Sounds enthralling," I joked.

He shook his head but laughed anyway. "Don't get snippy."

_Snippy? _ It was nice to know that he still used strange words.

"We get plenty of action around here," he defended. "Between these country boys and that uncle of yours, there's hardly ever a dull moment."

"Okay, okay," I surrendered. "My old man setting his own house on fire must be really tiring."

"You know, he never did it on purpose until you came back."

I shook my head and sighed, refusing to look at him. "Don't mind his crazy ideas," I dismissed sadly.

"Hey, I'm particularly fond of his crazy ideas!" he said enthusiastically, and I wasn't sure if he was joking or not. "Do you remember when he was convinced that you were sneaking out of the house?" He laughed at the memory.

"But I was sneaking out of the house!" I responded, laughing. Charlie had tried to set up booby-traps all around the house to try and catch me in the act that summer. But, between Edward and I, and our hormonal determination, we never actually got caught. _Or so we thought._ Charlie definitely brought up those memories, in front of my ex-husband, no less. Charlie really did hate that bastard, though I couldn't blame him.

"You know, he knew about everything we did that summer," I admitted as we walked through the gym and up the stairs to the sleeping quarters.

"What do you mean?" he asked with fear written across his face. He was still so much of that eighteen-year-old boy that it made me blush.

"Uh," I tried to regain my composure, "July fourth weekend…" I eluded.

"No way." He gasped, sitting down on one of the beds. I walked over and joined him, sitting cross legged with my back against the head board while he was near the foot of the bed.

"Oh yes. And the night of the bonfire."

"Why didn't he say anything?"

I laughed, shrugging. "I think he's always been on Team Edward," I joked.

Edward just shook his head and looked at me. "Crazy old man."

"You got to love him, though," I added.

He smiled in agreement. "Oh, of course."

"We thought we were being so sneaky. You would dress in all black and force me to call you Agent E."

"Hey, don't make fun; I was on a mission! I had to get my girl out of the dungeon."

"Dungeon? Always so dramatic," I countered, rolling my eyes.

"You loved it," he defended.

I lifted my eyes to look at him. "Yeah, I did. It was the most exciting summer of my life."

He smiled sadly in return. "Mine too, Bella."

"Daddy!" We both turned our heads at the sound of a little boy who came barreling through the room with a girl in his wake.

Edward automatically opened his arms as the boy collided with him, jumping up onto his lap. "Hi, Daddy!" the girl said, coming over to hug Edward as well.

He looked at me nervously as he hugged his kids, and my face, I was sure, was frozen in shock.

"I should have known."

I looked over to see Rachel standing in the doorway, her arms crossed over her chest. "You couldn't even wait for the divorce to be finalized before getting her in your bed," she spat.

Edward shot up from the bed and kissed both of his children on the head, telling them to go play with their uncles downstairs, before staring at Rachel.

Once the kids reluctantly left the room, Edward seethed, "What the hell, Rach? We talked about this. Those comments in front of the kids are out of line."

"Out of line?" she countered, her high heels cackling on the hard floor as she stepped towards him. "How am I out of line? I came to bring you_ your_ children, and they find you in bed with your mistress."

Edward laughed loudly, no humor evident, before he addressed her again. "Get off your damn high horse, Rachel. We were just talking. I am so SICK of you turning everything I do into a damn felony. Bella is not my mistress, nor has she ever been my mistress. You just have it stuck in your thick head that I have been unfaithful! I have never been unfaithful!" he screamed.

"Not physically, maybe."

"Oh for the love of God," he cried, throwing his arms up in frustration. Finally he turned to look at me, and my expression made him fall short, composing himself. "Uh, Bella, I'm really sorry. I should have told you…"

"Sure, apologize to her!" Rachel yelled.

"Rachel, just get out," Edward commanded, exasperated. "Seriously, you've been in the room for less than five minutes and I already have a splitting head ache."

She huffed loudly before adjusting her purse, and without even sparing me a glance, she stormed out of the room.

Edward sighed loudly, sitting back down on the bed, his elbows resting on the top of his thighs.

"You married Rachel?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

He just nodded his head in response, not looking at me.

"I guess it makes sense now." I chuckled humorlessly, causing him to look at me strangely. "I ran into her the other day," I clarified. "She demanded that I stay away from her husband. I didn't really understand until now."

He groaned and put his head back into his hands. "She is ridiculous. I'm so sorry," he offered. "And if it means anything, I won't be her husband for much longer. We've been separated for over a year; we're just in the final stages of the divorce. Everything just got so damn complicated." He sighed in defeat.

I should have known that Edward would have his own scars, his own baggage. But I was too busy thinking of myself and my own problems to even consider his. I reached out and put a hand on his hunched over shoulder.

"Hey, I get it, trust me," I consoled softly. He just shook his head.

"How did our lives even get here?" he asked, even though I didn't think the question was geared towards me. "I had a plan…"

I scoffed, "You and your plans." I removed my hand from his arm and used it to tuck my fallen hair behind my ears.

"Please, don't start. Not you too; not today," he grumbled, looking at me with no light in his features.

"Okay," I whispered, surrendering to the hopelessness of his blue eyes. "So, kids, huh?" I asked with more inflection to my voice, trying to bring us both out of the dark hole.

"Kids," he confirmed statically, but even I could see the hint of smile on his face. "They are the best parts of me," he added. "But they deserve better parents than Rachel and me, that's for sure."

"I'm sure you are a wonderful father," I berated.

"What about you? Did you ever produce little Bella babies?" He chuckled nervously, shifting his position to get more comfortable, while refusing to look at me at the same time.

"No…I, uh, no." I couldn't find the words that would fit. How could anyone find those words to explain to someone else? I looked away from him, blinking rapidly to keep the tears from spilling.

"Hey," he called out softly, coming closer to wrap his arms around me.

As soon as his body touched my own, I lost it. It was like only he could set me off into hysterics like this. Again, I loved and hated it at the same time.

"Please don't cry, Bella." He held me tighter, tucking my head into his chest.

Why did this hurt so badly? After all of these years of suppressing this issue, refusing to allow it to affect me, why now did it all have to haunt me so deeply? I know I shouldn't have been jealous that Edward and Rachel had kids, it wasn't even that I was jealous that Edward had them with her...it was that they had children period and I didn't. And now Alice, with _him._ It was like the world was trying to spite me today, remind me of my failure.

I wanted to be a mother, to love one of my own unconditionally, to be loved back with the same intensity. Maybe it was just another way for me to fill this void that was in myself, but I needed this sense of completion, I craved it, I mourned for it, and now I even let it break me.

I was stronger than a lot of things, but I was not stronger than this.

I sniffed loudly, trying not to make a mess of Edward's shirt with the evidence of my breakdown. "Wow, I'm sorry," I was finally able to speak, even though barely coherently, after what seemed like eternity. "I promise I won't lose it every time I'm around you."

He took my face in his hands and wiped my cheeks with his thumbs. "I don't mind," he said honestly.

"Dad!" a voice came from down the stairs, causing Edward to close his eyes and drop his head.

With a heavy sigh, he yelled back, "Coming." Looking back at me, his face was full of pity - I hated it. "Bella...I..." He seemed torn, whether to go to his child or to sit here and console me.

But my emotions had had enough of the whirlwind today, so I stood up and wiped my face with the back of my hands. "I should be going, actually."

"Bella, don't go," he pleaded sadly, but when he heard his son calling for him again, he didn't have an option to convince me to stay.

"I'll be back," I offered, and he took that as enough because he took off for the stairs, leaving me in the room.

I stood idle for a moment, feeling uncertain about how things just progressed between us and the revelation about his marriage and kids. I took a step to leave just as Edward ran back in, out of breath from just re-climbing the stairs. "Dinner..." he practically panted, taking me by surprise.

"What?" I asked confused.

"Dinner...tomorrow night. Since we never got to the other night, I would love to make you dinner."

"Oh, um..."

"Please?" he begged with an adoring smile on his face.

"Okay," I replied with a smile of my own. "Dinner."

**O.o**

**End Notes:**

**If you're worried about Edward being married to Rachel, trust me. I won't be dragging out any divorces. Just trust. **

**And for those who would like to support me as an author, I have a one shot in the Love Like Fire Contest called **_**There You'll Be. **_**It's angsty and painful, but I'm really proud of it. If y'all wouldn't mind reading/reviewing/voting, the o/s can be found on my profile. **

**Thanks for all the support! **

**As always, please review! **


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: So it hasn't been too much longer than a week…that's good, right?**

**Special thanks to the amazing ladies who work on this: my betas ginginlee and sparklingtwilight, and my prereaders: lizzylillyrose and morethanmyself. I really love them a whole lot. **

**Thank you to those who review…I will start sending replies; sorry I've been such a slacker. But I would love to see this story get more love, so please come out of hiding and say something. I would really like to hear from you! **

**Here we go…blast from the past again. Let's see how much trouble our lovely teenagers can get into…**

**Chapter 9**

**1987**

"Bella!" I heard Charlie's voice call from the bottom of the steps as I finished hooking my earrings through my ears. "Bella, Bella, Bella…" he sang out repeatedly. _Okay, now he was just being annoying._

"Uncle Charlie, I'm right here. Relax!" I teased lightly as I came down the stairs, ready to go out to Rachel's party.

"What are you wearing?" he immediately fired when I came into view.

"Clothes," I retorted with an eye roll, kissing him on the cheek before I went into the living room to grab my over-night bag.

He sneered at me and crossed his arms over his chest, blocking my path to the door.

"Isabella," he began, "you told me that you were spending the night at Rachel's house. Why would you be dressed like that if you were being honest with me? Are there going to be boys there? Is that where you're really going? Are you planning on having _relations_," he sneered, "with Edward tonight? You're too young. You barely know him!" His face was becoming all flushed, and I needed to figure a way out of this. I knew he wouldn't be that easy to convince about the party tonight. Charlie was really smart…he should have been a cop.

I decided to go with the act-naïve-and-then-divert route. "Are you accusing me of lying to you?" I asked in mock horror, placing my hands on my hips, trying to keep my smile from breaking through.

"Well…"

"I happen to like my skirt," I said hurtfully, smoothing out the light gray material. "Besides, didn't my mom tell you? I'm swinging both ways these days. The sleepover with Rachel is really just a time to experiment. Mom always said: you never know until you try!" I shrugged innocently, even though a smile did break through; pulling his chain was just seriously too easy…I almost felt bad for the poor guy. His face turned place white, and it took him a few moments to regain his composure.

Stammering, he said, "What's, uh, Edward doing, um, tonight? Don't you want to hang out with him? You guys have been getting close, right?"

I took a second to look deep in thought, as if I were really considering what he was saying, before shrugging. "I don't know! Haven't talked to him much. Rachel and I kind of spent the whole day at the river together," I lied easily, enjoying this torture.

Right then, there was a knock at the door, and Charlie turned around to open it, still eyeing me warily.

"Hi, Mr. Swan!" Rachel said cheerfully, causing him to blush deeply.

"Hi, Rachel," he choked out, an octave higher than normal. He ushered her in and Rachel came up to give me a hug, and as soon as she did, I winked right in Charlie's direction.

"So, uh," he rushed out, "what do you girls have planned for tonight?" He was pulling at the collar of his shirt, looking extremely uncomfortable.

"Oh, you know," Rachel started with a wave of her hand, "just girl stuff – gossiping, truth or dare. We have a pool, so we might even go swimming," she offered.

"I heard a rumor that skinny dipping was a popular activity around here," I added. "Maybe we could try that out!" I sounded excited, looking between my uncle and Rachel.

Rachel, unknowingly, played along great. "Sure! I have a hot tub, too."

"Okay, enough!" Charlie yelled, throwing his hands up to his ears. "I don't want to hear anymore! Just go, okay?"

I smiled victoriously, having successfully diverted his attention from harassing me about my outfit while keeping him from asking too many questions about tonight, as well. Him wanting me to spend more time with Edward was just an added bonus. I purposefully looped my arm through Rachel's, for added affect, and kissed Uncle Charlie on the cheek before I left the house.

"What was all that about?" Rachel asked as we pulled out of my driveway in her car.

"I pretty much led on that we were lesbians so he wouldn't get suspicious of tonight," I responded evenly, not at all embarrassed. It was kind of weird that I had just met this girl earlier that day, but she seemed cool enough. Besides, if she ended up not liking me, it really didn't matter. I was only here for a summer…it wasn't like I was ever going to see her again after these few months.

"Nice!" She laughed, pleasantly surprising me. Maybe I could really like this girl, after all.

"So what's really the deal for tonight, anyway?" I asked as she messed with the radio.

"People will probably start showing up in an hour or so. My older brother is having people over, too, so it will be pretty big. We'll have a bonfire out back and the pool will be open and stuff. You can borrow a bathing suit of mine if you didn't bring one," she offered. "Even though, one probably won't be necessary." She laughed again.

"Sounds good to me." I smiled genuinely. I wasn't at all new to the party scene…I was a seventeen-year-old girl, who lived in Ohio, no less. The only thing we had to do up there on the weekends was party. But I had a feeling this one would be a lot different than the ones I was used to, and I was definitely okay with that.

I was taken by surprise, though, when we pulled up to her house. No one bothered to mention that Rachel was _loaded._ I didn't think I had seen a bigger house in my entire life. There was a high metal gate we had to get through after she entered a password, the round-a-bout driveway was bordered with elaborate stone statues, and the three garages alone were bigger than my house and Charlie's house combined.

"Uh, wow," I stammered, mouth slack.

She shrugged and said, "Tobacco," in explanation.

I didn't quite get it, but I wasn't going to be rude and press for more information on her family's wealth. She parked her car in one of the garages that actually attached to the house, and we walked in the side door. She led me through the hallway, pass the grand kitchen, and up the rich wooden staircase.

"This is my room," she said, opening the double doors to her personal space. "You can just put your bag in here." We walked inside and I sat down on her queen sized bed. The walls were painted light yellow, and she had bright pink and orange accent colors all throughout the room. The bedspread, though, was lime green with neon blue pillow cases. I felt like I was in a bubble of color, being harassed by their intensity.

Rachel wandered over to her attached bathroom and walk in closest. "You can come in here, Bella," she called. "We can just get ready in here before everyone else shows up."

_Get ready?_ I thought I already was ready, looking down at my outfit.

"Oh, okay," I stated, joining her anyway.

"You're welcome to use my make-up, and I can curl your hair when I'm done with mine if you want," she offered kindly, not at all pushy about it, either, which was nice.

I found myself smiling. Rachel, even though sometimes intimidating and I knew I couldn't quite figure her out, was being considerably nice. She had no idea who I was…I was just some stranger, yet, here she was, sincerely acting as if we had been friends for years.

"That would be great," I found myself saying, actually meaning it.

"I'm going to put on some music, is that all right?" she asked as she walked back into her room.

"Sure," I agreed, looking at all the makeup on her counter.

Madonna's _Papa Don't Preach _came blaring through the speakers of her radio, and she came back into the room singing and dancing along with the song.

"_The one you warned me all about, the one you said I could do without, we're in an awful mess, and I don't mean maybe – please!" _she sang loudly, doing her own little dance.

"_Papa don't preach, I'm in trouble deep,"_ I joined in, singing along._ "Papa don't preach, I've been losing sleep. But I made up my mind, I'm keeping my baby, oh…I'm gonna keep my baby, mmm..."_

We both picked up a hairbrush and got really into the song, shaking our hips and making our movements elaborate. She and I fell into a fit of giggles as soon as the song ended, both of us enjoying being ridiculous and carefree, just the way teenagers should act.

"Okay, okay," she said after she caught her breath. "Let's get busy!" We smiled at each other, looked in the mirror, and got to work.

**O.o**

With Rachel's insistence on being fashionably late – even to her own party – we waited until we saw a good amount of people accumulating outside before making our way downstairs. I was still wearing my fitted, short gray skirt and a simple almost sheer loose tank top. Rachel decided to wear a very revealing pair of jean shorts, a tucked in dark gray tank, and a cut off leather jacket to go on top. Her reddish hair was curled and pulled into a lower side ponytail, while my light brown hair now slightly wavy, thanks to Rachel, and hung simply past my shoulders.

"God, Jamie, you look like such a douche," Rachel commented to a man who looked a couple years older than us, with blond, slicked back hair, as we left her room and went down the stairs.

"Shut it, Ray," he shot back, giving her a nasty look before looking over at me. "Who's this?" he asked more kindly, raising an eyebrow in my direction.

"No one who wants to be around your slimy ass," she retorted, pulling me down the stairs.

"I'll see you later, Ray Ray!" he yelled, laughing, causing Rachel to huff in annoyance.

We reached the bottom of the steps, and she continued to hold onto my hand as she led me to the kitchen. There wasn't anyone in here, but there were red and blue cups, beer bottles, and a lot of liquor bottles lined up on the counter.

"Sorry about that," she issued. "That's Jamie, my big brother. Want a drink?" she asked more positively, walking over to the counter with the cups.

"Here, put your name on it," she instructed, handing me a red cup with a permanent marker. I quickly scribbled _Bella_ as she did the same to hers. "So, what do you want?" she asked, motioning with her hand to the available drinks.

"I'll just take a beer," I answered, and she walked over to the fridge to pull me out a drink. "How much do I owe you for this?" I asked, wanting to contribute monetarily for the drinks they provided.

She just laughed and waved her hand in dismissal. "Don't even worry about it. Jamie buys it all."

"Are you sure?" I asked guiltily, not wanting to seem like a mooch.

"You're sweet to offer, Bella, but seriously, don't worry about it."

I smiled at her and went on to pour my beer while she made some drink with pop and vodka.

"Ladies!" a guys called from the patio door that was attached to the kitchen, and when I lifted my head, I saw Riley strutting into the kitchen already having a drink in hand. "It's about time you guys came of out hiding. Eddie and I were about to come beat down your bedroom door." He laughed and went to pour himself another drink.

I had yet to talk to Riley after the whole "almost-drowning-Bella"incident that had happened that afternoon, and I didn't really feel like having that conversation right then, either. Besides, I came here to see Edward, anyway…

"Edward's here already?" I piped up, causing both of them to look at me knowingly before smirking at each other.

"Oh yeah, Ohio, he's out back," Riley said casually, resting his forearms and the island countertop.

"I'm just going to, uh," I motioned to the door, "go find him." I took my cup from the counter and headed outside. As promised, there was a fire going a little bit away, but the pool area was right in front of me, and there were already a ton of people in there. I glanced around, not seeing Edward, and decided to walk over to where the fire was.

People glanced at me as I walked but, for the most part, didn't pay me much attention. There were some people sitting on the logs around the pit, and then there were some standing, but I still didn't see Edward anywhere. I turned around to walk back into the house to find Rachel when I ran into someone.

I stepped back, startled, but luckily didn't spill any of my drink down my shirt.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," I rushed out, trying to get a look at the guy. I saw the bright blue tank top and when my eyes reached his face, I recognized who it was.

"Don't apologize, baby doll," he cooed, slicking his hand back through his hair, trying, I supposed, to look attractive while doing so.

I stepped aside to walk away when he grabbed onto my elbow, not tightly, but enough to get me to turn back around and face him.

"I never did get your name, pretty thing," he slurred into my ear, thankfully then releasing my arm.

"Bella," I stated, not offering my hand or anything.

"Beautiful Bella," he replied. "I'm Jamie, Rachel's brother."

"Yeah, um, nice to meet you," I said awkwardly, looking around for any familiar face.

"Are you sleeping here tonight?" he asked, something about his tone rubbing me the wrong way.

"Maybe," I answered, even though I had already planned on it.

"Well, there are plenty of beds here," he laughed, motioning to the large house, "so you are more than welcomed to stay."

"Thanks, that's really nice to offer." I tried to smile genuinely, but I was sure it came out more as a grimace.

"Bella! There you are!" I felt arms wrap around my waist from behind, and I automatically relaxed in the embrace. "Jamie, nice to see ya, man," Edward said in his direction. "So I see you've met Bella," he offered next, squeezing me a bit tighter.

Jamie looked back and forth between Edward and me before a sinister smile appeared on his face. "Yeah, she just practically groped me. Better keep a tighter leash on that one; I can already tell she's trouble," he replied, causing me to roll my eyes and Edward to stiffen a bit.

"Oh really?" Edward responded. "Bella, I was just about to go inside, and it looks like you need another drink, care to come with me?" he asked, even though it was clear that my cup was still full.

However, I simply nodded, and Edward removed his arms from my waist but grabbed my free hand instead, pulling me away from the fire.

"I wasn't groping him," I rushed out after we were a few good feet away. "I accidentally ran into him when I was looking for you."

Edward just hummed and held my hand tighter, offering me a small smile.

"Where are we going?" I asked, confused as we bypassed the entry way to get back into the house. Instead, he took me around to the right, going under some porch. It was really dark, all light from the moon blocked from the wooden panels above us. "Edward?" I asked again.

"Shhh," he hushed.

We walked a little bit further, and I held onto his whole arm then, not trusting my feet to keep me upright. I not so accidentally kept my face close to his plaid-covered bicep, noticing that he smelled like a hint of cinnamon. It was more inviting than overwhelming, which I was thankful for.

"Are you smelling me?" he whispered, laughing a bit, too.

"Hey, man, if you're leading me to my death, I wanted a good last smell of my captor."

We slowed down our pace, but my response caused him to laugh harder. "You and your conspiracy theories about me leading you off to these secluded places to kill you." He shook his head. "I'm beginning to think there's something wrong up there in that pretty head of yours."

"Why don't you just tell me where we're going?" I suggested, ignoring that he basically called me pretty.

"Here," he answered, stopping his movements and handing me his cup. "Hold this for me." He dug around in his back pocket and pulled out a lighter, igniting it to use for light. I could vaguely see a hanging wooden swing in front of us, and he walked over towards it, sitting down on one end, leaving space for me.

"How did you know this was back here?" I questioned, coming to sit down next to him. By now, our eyes had adjusted to the darkness, and I could make out basic shapes. Edward took his drink back from my hand and brought it to his lips before answering my question.

"Rachel has a lot of these parties," he said after swallowing his mouthful. "After a while, they get pretty lame, so I just explore. Have you seen the size of this house?" He laughed, and I nodded in agreement. "I could be friends with Rachel for the next twenty years and not find every cool hiding spot this house offers."

"It's quiet here," I observed, taking a sip of my own beer. We were far enough away that we could barely make the sounds that were coming from the party outback. "I think my killing conspiracies are very justified considering you bring me to these secluded spots," I joked, earning another beautiful chuckle.

"Just don't go off with anyone except for me, okay?" he said more seriously after a moment.

"Jealous, are we?" I laughed, nudging his shoulder. "Afraid some other southern gentleman is going to sweep me off my feet with his strange hideouts?"

"Well, that too." He placed his arm around my shoulders and pulled me so my body was flush against his. "I just don't trust every one that comes to these parties." He was still serious as he spoke, and it made the hair on my arms prick up.

"What do you mean?"

"What were you doing talking to Jamie out by the fire?" he asked, not sounding angry, just concerned.

"Edward, really, we were doing anything. I told you, I ran into him, he introduced himself, asked if I was staying over with Rachel, and then you came up. It was nothing."

"Are you?" he responded.

"Am I what?"

"Staying over here tonight…"

"Yeah, I was planning on it. My bag is upstairs in Rachel's room, and I told Charlie I would be out till morning."

"Come out with me tonight," he suggested excitedly as he turned his body so he was facing me more, our legs still touching but his arm no longer around me.

"What?" I wished I could see his eyes to know if he was joking or not. "Edward, I don't know…"

"Come on, Bella," he pleaded. "I have a spot for us."

"Um…can't you just, you know, stay here with us?" I asked, referring to Rachel and I. I didn't know how comfortable I felt going off with Edward alone. I still barely knew the guy. I didn't really know Rachel either, but at least if I stayed here, I would be in a house full of people.

"Well, just think about it."

"Where would we go?" I asked, not agreeing to his offer, just out of curiosity.

"There's this field…" he began.

"A field?" I almost shouted. "You want me to spend the night in a field?"

"Bella, don't be such a girl."

"There are ton of beds here," I countered. "Can't you just stay here…with me? Besides, we both have been drinking. Driving is just not a smart idea."

He leaned back on the bench and put his arm back around me. "Yeah, driving would be stupid," he commented. "I guess I didn't think of that."

I mentally breathed a sigh of relief.

"But promise me you'll go there with me sometime," he said, excited again. "It really is beautiful, and on clear nights like this, you can see stars for miles," he painted the image with his words, elaborating his point with the use of his hands.

He was seriously enthusiastic about this spot. "Okay, okay," I surrendered with a smile. "I'll go, but let's have our first trip out there be in the daytime," I compromised.

"Daytime…" he repeated, not sounding that thrilled.

"Yeah, it can be our first date," I offered lightly with a bright smile.

"A date, huh?" he asked back, and I could finally see him smile through the darkness.

"Yup! You can pack us a picnic and everything."

"Look at you, planning out our first date. Shouldn't that be my job?" he teased.

"Well, if you're not going to step up to the plate and do it, mister, the lady just has to take charge."

He laughed and took another drink. "You are so different than any other girl I've met before, Bella. I don't even know what to do with you." He shook his head and laughed lightly.

"Oh, I'm not that difficult, Edward," I replied, embarrassed that I might have gone too far.

"That's not what I meant," he rebutted seriously. He turned his face towards mine so our noses were almost touching, and it felt like all the air had been sucked out of my body. "I meant," he paused, taking a deep breath, "that I think," he moved in a bit closer, "you are," he moved his head to the side, using his free hand to rub my face gently, "amazing."

After he breathed out the last syllable, his lips gently pressed into mine. My eyes automatically closed, and when I registered what he was doing, I kissed him back. His lips didn't move from mine for a long moment as he used his hand to cradle the back of my neck, keeping us joined together. The kiss was probably shorter than it seemed, but it was so innocent, pure even.

When he pulled away, he ran his nose softly against my own, leaning back in for another chaste, soft kiss.

"Yes, Bella," he whispered, "simply amazing."

**XX**

**END NOTES:**

First kiss…swoon! What did you guys think about it? 

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	10. Chapter 10

**Thank you again, of course, to the wonderful set of ladies who work on this fic for me: ginginlee (who is about to have a baby!), lizzylillyrose, morethanmyself, and sparklingtwilight. I really appreciate it and love you girls!**

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**Chapter 10**

**2010**

When I woke up the next morning, I noticed that I had a missed call from the demon-who-shall-not-be-named. As soon as I saw the familiar number on my screen, I wanted to burn the phone. Did he not understand that I didn't want anything to do with him anymore, that my life was no longer his to interfere in? Everything was settled…there was nothing left to discuss. Unless he was calling to harass me about Alice, and if that was the case, maybe I should burn my phone.

For all I cared anymore, the two of them…well, now almost three, could live their life in miserable bliss. Alice would find out just like I did…everything that man touched turned to poison. I thought I knew that when I was seventeen, too, but of course I never listened, even to myself. When I married him, I always knew a part of me said, "I do," because he reminded me of Edward. My ex was the last thing I had to hold onto of that summer, the only thing I thought I would be allowed to have.

I waited until I was twenty-seven to marry _him_, always hoping in depths of my heart that Edward would come back to me. I was just as delusional then as I was when I was seventeen.

_Delusional._ I should add that to my list of reasons why my marriage fell apart.

I really did love my husband. Once upon on time, he made me very happy. But I couldn't live up to what he wanted me to be; I couldn't give him what he wanted.

And, apparently, as I stood in the room in my Uncle Charlie's house, in the place that started it all, I realized that my ex couldn't be the one thing I needed him to be.

He couldn't be Edward. And he knew it.

I decided not to call him back, taking a step forward with my life instead of swimming in limbo. If I was going to find myself again after my divorce, I needed to make decisions based on what was best for me. Calling him, listening to him, allowing him to trap me with his words, hurt me with his manipulations, was not what was best for me.

Besides, I had a date to prepare for. Well, at least I thought it was a date. He did say dinner…dinner usually meant it was a date, right? Who the hell knew…it had been too long since I had done this. I decided, in effort to keep myself from going crazy from my own mental questions, to distract myself with the one thing that I knew would provide adequate entertainment.

Charlie.

"Bella, shush," Uncle Charlie automatically hushed as soon as I walked downstairs.

"Someone's cranky." I made my way to sit down on the old worn couch as he was stationed in his chair. "What's going on, old man?" I asked as I piled my hair into a ponytail, securing it tightly with the elastic band that was around my wrist. It was about mid-afternoon, but we were both limited to staying inside because of the huge storm that was supposed to hit. Seth came over earlier and had helped me take care of the horses in preparation for the approaching downfall, making sure they were locked up tight in the barn with enough hay to keep them comfortable.

"The news is on. It doesn't look right."

"Do you mean the weather?" I asked curiously, glancing at the TV.

"No, I meant the lottery numbers," he replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

I chuckled and just lounged back on the couch. "Don't worry, Uncle Charlie. It'll be fine. Do you want me to run up to the store and stock up on water and canned foods?" I was only joking, but Charlie was dead serious when he nodded his head in my direction.

"It's not supposed to hit for another few hours. If you go now, you should still make it back in one piece."

"One piece?" I laughed. "Glad you care so much about my well-being."

"Hey, you offered. But seriously, go now and come back quickly." His eyes were glued to the television set in intense concentration.

"Okay, okay." I sighed and got up, grabbing my purse and keys before leaving the old white house. I didn't understand what all the fuss was about; there wasn't a cloud in the sky. The guy who was on the radio was saying something about the oncoming storms, too, but I just switched it off, rolling the windows down instead to listen to the noises of the road.

It didn't take me long to pull up to Wal-mart, but it was absolutely packed! Cars filled the huge lot, and people were dashing in and out of the doors like wild animals. Okay, so maybe it wasn't _that _chaotic, but people were definitely acting like it was the apocalypse or something. I just scanned the aisles slowly, choosing to do the usually weekly grocery shopping now since I was here. And to be nice, I got Charlie his bottles of water and dry foods to placate him, because, really, when the world ended it would seriously matter if we had enough green beans or not.

All right, enough with the skepticism.

It took me about an hour, but when I drove back home, the sky was just as blue as it was when I left. My car was filled with groceries, and I was thankful when I spotted Seth's truck in Charlie's driveway so he could help me carry them in. I took the first load in myself, but when I went inside, I was met with a very angry uncle in the kitchen.

"Isabella, where have you been!"

I bit my tongue to keep from replying with a sarcastic remark. "The store, like I told you before. This isn't news, Charlie."

"You've been gone for hours!" he shouted, turning almost purple. His breathing was starting to become labored, and I had to check his oxygen to make sure he was getting the right amount.

"Uncle Charlie, relax, I just went to the store. I got a lot of stuff. Is Seth here? I could use his help. And you are completely overreacting. I was gone an hour, tops."

"Hey, Old Maid," Seth greeted, coming in through the back porch door, and I had to admit, the kid had good timing.

I simply rolled my eyes at his comment, knowing that fighting him would be pointless. "Back again so soon, Seth?" I asked, truly wondering why he was back. He had left after taking care of the horses just a little bit ago.

"I couldn't remember if I tied Jenna up right, and it was driving me nuts, so I came back to check." He shrugged and joined us in the kitchen. "No big deal."

I smiled, though. It was good to see him care so much about something. Kids his age needed something like that to keep them grounded. Working for Charlie was really good for him. "Want to help me bring in some groceries since I'm such an elderly woman and can't possibly do it myself?"

He laughed. "Wouldn't want you to pull a muscle."

I punched him in the shoulder for that one as we made our way outside. "Hey!"

"Don't whine," I chastised. "I punch like a girl." It was my turn to laugh, but my chuckles were stopped short when a truck whipped into Charlie's drive.

"What the?" I started, automatically shielding Seth with my small body, angry that this crazy person almost hit us.

"BELLA!" A very angry Edward emerged from the truck, screaming my name.

"Edward?" I asked, clearly confused, my anger dissipating immediately.

"Where have you been! I've been driving around for half an hour looking for you! Do you have any idea how worried I have been?"

"What the hell…heck," I quickly edited when I saw his kids sitting in the truck, "are you talking about?"

"Charlie called me in a panic, said he didn't know where you were!"

I sighed heavily and rubbed small circles on my temple. "I'm fine. I just went to the store. See…" I motioned to the bags in the trunk that Seth began working on bringing inside. However, this didn't seem to placate Edward any. The vein in his forehead was still very visible, and his face was still an unnatural shade of red.

"Why are you so angry?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest, suddenly colder than I was a moment ago. I looked up and saw a few ominous clouds approaching. I still didn't think it was anything to have a conniption over, though.

"You could have been hurt," he said honestly, kicking the dirt at his feet, relaxing just a little bit. "You do realize the danger you put yourself in."

"I was just up the street."

"How was I supposed to know that?" he asked, getting loud again.

"What exactly did Charlie say to you?"

He was suddenly looking everywhere but me.

"Edward…" I prodded.

"When he called, all he said was that he didn't know where you were before I hung up and started searching for you." He sounded so guilty, and it made me smile.

"You were really worried, huh?" I asked with a smirk.

"Don't let it go to your head." He almost matched my smile then.

Right as I was about to speak again, a huge crack of thunder roared throughout the sky.

"Shit. I need to get home," he mumbled as he turned around to head back to his truck. He suddenly whipped back in my direction. "Oh, Bella, about dinner tonight, do you mind if we postpone? I don't want you driving in this. And when I asked you yesterday, I definitely didn't factor that I had the kids for the weekend."

The sky grew almost instantly black, the flashes of lightening providing it's only source of light.

"You can't drive back in this!" I argued. The wind was starting to pick up then, too, and I ran over to the passenger side of his truck. "Hey, guys," I greeted the small boy and girl when I opened the car door. "Come on, get in the house. You guys are staying here until the storm passes."

"Really?" The little boy's face lit up.

"Yeah, really, come on, scoot!"

The boy jumped out excitedly, while the girl just looked at me with a scowl on her face and her arms crossed over her chest. "I'm not getting out," she countered.

"Lana," Edward came over carrying the groceries from my car in his two hands, "let's go, baby, before you get caught in the storm."

She just sneered at him, daring him to force her. Edward let out a huge sigh and turned to me. "Get inside, Bella. We'll be in in a minute."

He obviously agreed that he shouldn't try to drive in this weather, and I went to my trunk to get the last of the bags right as the rain started. It seemed like the sky literally opened, and buckets began to fall.

"Lana, we need to get inside," Edward said, his voice still remarkably calm.

"No! I want to go to Mom's!"

"Lana, please…"

I noticed that I was just standing there staring at their interaction when Seth came up to my side, taking the groceries from my hands and pulling me by the arm. "Come on, Bella," he said. The wind was really starting to pick up, and when I looked behind me, I saw Edward running into the house. He completely bypassed us as we reached the porch steps, leaving his daughter in the truck.

"She's not even a teenager yet," he grumbled as he threw the bags on the floor right by the doorway and ran back outside. He re-opened Lana's door, which she had closed, and he forcefully undid her seatbelt and picked her up in his arms, carrying her through the whipping rain and into the house.

Everyone stepped back when he came in with her kicking her legs, pitching a fit. "Put me down!" she yelled. "You can't force me to stay here! I want my mom!"

Edward put her down on her feet but kept his arms around her, hugging her to him as she flailed around. It only took a moment before she burst out into tears, but Edward just held on, refusing to let her go or let her fall to the ground. I tried to clear everyone out of the doorway, telling Seth to start putting away the groceries as I led Charlie back to his chair. His son, whose name I couldn't quite remember, followed my uncle and me into the living room.

"Uncle Charlie," he asked, causing Charlie to turn his head casually. _Uncle?_ Why was he calling him uncle?

"Can we play Mario-Kart?"

He just smiled. "Sure thing, kid. Even though this time there's no getting past me!"

"You wish!" the little boy rebutted, laughing. The boy got up from the couch and went over to where the TV was, opening the cabinet underneath it and pulling out a black gaming system and setting it up.

I looked at Charlie curiously, and he just shrugged his shoulders in response. I wanted to know just what kind of relationship Charlie had with Edward and his family, and why the hell had he never felt the need to mention it to me? Also, calling Edward in a panic earlier? What was that? Clear overreaction on his part, but when I looked over at Edward and Lana in the doorway, I was glad he did.

Lana was still crying, but now both she and Edward were sitting down with his back against the door and she in his lap. He looked up at me then and met my eyes; I didn't have it in me to tear my gaze away. We just stared at each other while he held his daughter, rocking her softly back and forth while her face was tucked into his neck. Edward looked torn, guilty, and exhausted. I knew how painful it was to go through a divorce, and he was suffering that right now, the difference being that he also had two other people who were thrown into the mess with him. I couldn't even imagine the pressure he would be under. My heart went out to all of them.

I hadn't even realized that my hand went up to my chest and covered my own heart until a moment later, and I quickly removed it, breaking my gaze with Edward at the same time. I turned awkwardly back around to Charlie, but by that point, he and the boy were already knee deep in a race.

"Are you going to stand there and drip like a faucet, Bells, or are you going to go upstairs to change," Charlie asked, not even bother to break his stare from the TV screen. I hadn't even really noticed that I was soaking wet until he said something, but I figured I might as well, even though that meant bypassing Edward and Lana who were by the stairs.

When I walked over there, Lana had stopped crying, and I figured I might as well ask her if she would like to borrow clothes since she was wet, too. Edward…well, I didn't have any clothes for him.

"Hey, Lana," I began softly, causing her to look up at me. At least there was less hate in her eyes this time. "I'm about to change into some dry clothes; would you like to borrow some of mine? I think I have some sweatpants and a t-shirt that would fit you." She was definitely a lot smaller than I was, but I had to have something that she wouldn't absolutely swim in.

She didn't respond immediately, but she looked at her dad and then to me before nodding.

"Great!" I said with a smile. "I can either bring some down for you, or you can come upstairs with me."

"I want to stay with my dad," she replied, looking at the floor instead of me.

"Okay." I smiled at Edward, and he gave me a gracious nod and a small smile in return.

I scaled the steps to my room and changed into a dry pair of jeans and a hoodie, deciding to just redo my hair so it was just a simple bun on my head. I dug around and came up with an extra-small pair of black yoga pants and a spare t-shirt I had for Lana. When I went back downstairs, she and Edward were in the kitchen, sitting at the small table.

"Here you go." I handed her the clothes. "Just hand me your wet clothes after you change, and I'll put everything in the dryer."

"Thanks," she said softly before heading to the bathroom to change.

"Are you sure you don't want something of Charlie's, Edward?" I asked as I noticed him shivering from being cold. "I would just tell you to strip, but I don't think that would be appropriate with the kids here. Seth might be scared for life," I attempted at joking, trying to lift the mood a little. I think it worked because he actually broke a genuine smile.

"I'm sorry, Bella." He then sighed as he became somber. "She's just having a really hard time with Rachel and I. She doesn't mean to lash out at you; she just doesn't know how to deal with all of this."

"It's okay, really," I tried to assure. "I understand, trust me."

He smiled again right as Lana stepped back into the kitchen. "Here you go," she addressed, passing me her wet items. "Thank you. And, um," she mumbled, looking down at the floor, "I'm sorry for what I said to you and for how I acted."

I took the clothes in my hands and smiled down at her, even though she wasn't looking at my face. "It's quite alright, Lana. I was actually about to start dinner, would you like to help me?"

She looked up, finally with elation in her features. "You know how to cook?"

"I sure do!"

"Will you teach me?" she asked excitedly.

I looked over at Edward who was now beaming in our direction. "I would love to," I answered, looking back at her.

"I want to help!" Edward whined, cutting in. "Besides, wasn't I the one who was supposed to be cooking tonight?"

"Dad!" Lana rolled her eyes. "You can't cook."

His face turned into one of mock horror. "I can to cook! Who do you think made you all those pb&js growing up."

She just laughed. "That's not cooking! Right, Bella?" She looked at me to back her up.

"Lana, we don't call adults by their first names unless they tell us to," Edward scolded, instantly ruining the moment we were having.

"No, no," I assured, "Bella is perfect, actually!" I said upbeat, wanting to keep the mood light. "Please, I insist. Bella it is."

She smiled at me guiltily, and I heard Edward sigh in just the slightest.

"And you're right, Lana, pb&js don't count."

"Told you, Dad."

He laughed and stood up from his chair. "Alright, then, Chef Bella, why don't you show us how it's done."

**O.o**

It was a few hours later, and we were all gathered in the living room, Seth, Edward, Lana, and Edward's son, whose name I quickly learned was Patrick, going to head-to-head playing Mario-Kart. Lana and I had made lasagna for dinner, while Edward sat on top of the kitchen counter and watched, adding his own commentary for entertainment. Lana seemed genuinely interested in learning how to cook, and it was fun to teach her some tricks in the kitchen. Apparently, neither Rachel nor Edward cooked much, but I didn't really ask many questions, and they didn't seem to offer any elaborate explanations on their old family dynamic.

On Seth's request, we all ate dinner in the living room as the video game tournament continued. It was good just to sit back and watch Charlie laugh. He and Patrick got along extremely well, and I couldn't help but think that Charlie got his grandson that he never had. Lana, after cooking with me, warmed up a little but still stayed quiet as we ate. At dinner, I learned that she was only ten, but she definitely acted like a young teenager. Her mood swings were all over the place, but I wasn't about to judge her for them. I couldn't begin to imagine what she was going through. It was nice to see her lighten up, though, whenever she played the game, elbowing Edward every chance she got so it would mess up his chances of winning.

But I loved watching Edward most of all. He was such a child at heart, getting so into these silly races, but you could tell he was a caring father, too. He kept looking at both Patrick and Lana, unconsciously, I was sure. I wondered if he was doing that just to check to make sure they were there. He would always take a deeper breath after looking at them, and my chest just ached for him. I bet he was going through a hard time, too, only having his kids on certain nights, knowing he couldn't be a source of consistency for them.

The storm continued on mercilessly as the hours passed, cracks of thunder echoing through the sky as the rain never ceased its assault. After my stomach settled from the large dinner, I got up to clear the dishes, carefully gathering them without blocking anyone's view of the screen.

"Here, Charlie," Edward said, passing off his controller, "I'm going to help Bella clean up."

"Edward, it's fine. I've got it," I assured, but he ignored me. _Figures._

"Thank you for making dinner," he said as we placed the dirty dishes in the sink. He rolled up his now dry sleeves and took station as the washer at the sink, while I grabbed a towel so I could dry them.

"It was my pleasure." I smiled as we both waited for the sink to fill up with soapy water. "Lana seemed to have warmed up a bit," I added, my voice low enough so the people in the other room wouldn't be able to hear us.

"Oh, Bella, I'm sorry about earlier."

"Edward," I stopped him, "you already apologized, which there was nothing to apologize for to begin with. Kids will be kids."

"She knows better…" he mumbled as he started on the first dish.

"I have a question." He passed me the clean dish for me to dry as I continued my thought, "Why does Patrick call Charlie 'Uncle Charlie'?"

"Oh, um," he mumbled, shrugging. "Does that bother you?" His head whipped to mine, concern written on his face.

"No! Of course not! I was just curious, that's all."

He breathed a sigh of relief. "Well, it's just that, when Rachel and I started having problems, I mean, we've never had the perfect marriage, but when things started getting really bad, I used to bring the kids here so they wouldn't have to listen to us fight. And then when we separated, we decided to switch off custody every other week, but I would have to work, so they would stay here. I hope you don't mind that they would sleep in your room." He looked guilty again, but I just smiled at him.

"How dare you!" I replied sarcastically. "Letting your kids use that room upstairs that hadn't been used by me in over twenty years. You really have some nerve, mister!"

He chuckled at my joke and nodded his head. "Okay, good. I just needed some help, and Charlie was always there for me."

"What happened to your parents?" I asked softly after a moment, wondering why they wouldn't take the kids when Edward worked.

"They moved to Florida after my dad retired. They still come to visit, but we don't see them very often."

"I see."

"So, you really had no idea?" he asked, looking at me every few seconds between washing.

"Had no idea about what?"

"About me…Lana, Patrick, even Rachel?"

"No." I shook my head. "How would I have known?" There was no bitterness in my voice as I asked.

"Charlie never told you anything?"

"Oh. Well, I don't know, I guess, well," it was my turn to look guilty, "Charlie and I kind of had this rule."

"Okay…" he prodded after I stayed quiet for a few moments.

"He wasn't allowed to talk about you."

Edward stopped what he was doing and turned to look at me. "Why?"

Even though his eyes were boring into my head, I refused to lift mine to his. I just shrugged, unable to find the words.

"Bella…"

"I just," I began, "it was easier for me not to talk about you, not to be reminded of you and what happened."

I looked up to him, and he dropped his head. "Oh," he said, fiddling with his wet hands on his t-shirt. "That makes sense." He took a deep breath, lifting his head just enough to look at me. "I really screwed things up back then, didn't I?"

I just shook my head. "It wasn't your fault, Edward. We were so young. Honestly, I'm not surprised it didn't work out between us. You were going off to college, I went back to Ohio; we had set ourselves up for failure from the beginning. It was really childish of me to ask Charlie to not bring you up in conversation, even though he did break that rule on occasion around my ex-husband. Charlie never did like him." I tried to laugh, but it came out awkward and completely unnatural.

"Why didn't Charlie like him? He had to be a great guy if he married you."

I shrugged, feeling embarrassed to talk about my ex in front of Edward. That was one conversation I never wanted to have. "It's complicated. I married him for the wrong reasons, and Charlie knew that."

"What happened between you guys, if you don't mind me asking?" Edward turned to shut off the water and we each dried our hands, choosing then to sit at the table and talk instead of stay standing.

"He had an affair."

Edward's face fell. "Oh, Bella, I'm so sorry."

"Thanks." I offered him a small smile. "It wasn't completely his fault, either, though. Our life was really hard."

"All marriages are hard, that doesn't excuse infidelity," he fought.

"Oh, I agree, but everyone plays their part in a divorce. It's never one sided."

He sighed heavily and nodded solemnly. "Yeah, I guess you're right. I would know…"

"I still can't believe you ended up with Rachel!" I laughed, shaking my head as memories of _that_ summer raced through my mind. I never would have guessed then that they would have married.

"If you would have asked me when I was eighteen who I was going to marry, I promise you that I wouldn't have said her."

"So what happened?"

He sighed again, looking down at his hands that rested on the table. "She and I went to UNC Chapel Hill together, and it wasn't until my junior year that we started hanging out. She was friends with my roommate, Jasper, from class, and we just saw each other a lot. One thing led to another, and before you know it, I was in law school and she got pregnant."

"What?" I asked in disbelief. "I thought you didn't go to law school."

"I went…I didn't finish, but I went."

"Okay, go on…"

"Well, she found out she was pregnant, so we told our parents. Mine were accepting, hers not so much. Her dad cut her off from everything financially, so I had a decision to make. I was only twenty-three, halfway done with law school, but I had to support her and this baby. So, I dropped out, we eloped, and we moved back here with my parents."

"What happened to the baby?" I asked, counting in my head how old Lana was, knowing that the baby would have had to be older than ten by now.

"Um, she miscarried."

"Oh," I breathed out, "Edward, I'm sorry." I for one knew that subject well, and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

"It's okay; it was a really long time ago."

"Did you go back to law school?"

He shook his head. "I couldn't. I still needed to support Rachel. She got her degree in marketing and took a job at a firm, but she didn't make enough to keep us afloat and put me through school. I just kind of had to accept that it wasn't going to happen for me."

"That's a lot to take in, especially at such a young age."

"Yeah," he agreed. "But we made it work. I didn't resent her or the baby for anything. Rachel was a really good wife to me."

"So what happened?"

He shrugged. "After Patrick was born was when things went really downhill. She wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, but I was already working double shifts down at the station. We just couldn't afford it. She wasn't used to living life without getting everything she wanted. Our money problems really took a toll on her and our marriage. She started accusing me of having an affair, which of course I never did. But, Bella," he sighed, "it got to the point where I didn't want to go home to her. I didn't want to share a bed with her. I didn't want to wake up to her every morning. We fought more than we had civil conversations. And then on top of that, she wouldn't let me touch her, kiss her, anything. Life became a constant battle with her. I just couldn't do it anymore.

"Lana and Patrick didn't deserve to hear their parents fighting every night. Listening to Lana cry, asking me if I was going to leave them, broke my heart. They deserve a stable home, a good environment, and we couldn't give them that if we stayed married.

"Rachel isn't a bad woman; I just couldn't be her husband anymore."

"That's fair," I offered. "I think we all have to make really hard decisions in life that will ultimately be best for us and those around us. It doesn't make you a failure because your marriage fell apart. It doesn't mean you're not a good person."

"Decisions," he mused, mostly to himself. "Life is based on our decisions, isn't it?"

I nodded in response.

"I think I made a lot of wrong decisions."

I looked up at him and met his blue eyes before sighing. "I think we both did."

**XXX**

**END NOTES**

**So, any guesses on who Bella's ex-husband is? There were some clues in this chapter…**

**And, just to put it out there, today is that last day to vote for the Love Like Fire contest. My entry, There You'll Be, is entered. The link to vote / read the other entries is on my profile page. **

**Thanks – and please review!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Lovely thanks to ginginlee for beta'ing! Lizzylillyrose and Morethanmyself preread, and their suggestions are amazing. Thank you, ladies. **

**Thanks to all who have reviewed and rec'd this fic! A big, BIG thanks to Sammielynnsmom for writing a beautiful review for IndieFicPimp! The article is up on the indieficpimp blog if you want to check it out! **

**Back to 1987…**

_After he breathed out the last syllable, his lips gently pressed into mine. My eyes automatically closed, and when I registered what he was doing, I kissed him back. His lips didn't move from mine for a long moment as he used his hand to cradle the back of my neck, keeping us joined together. The kiss was probably shorter than it seemed, but it was so innocent, pure even._

_When he pulled away, he ran his nose softly against my own, leaning back in for another chaste, soft kiss._

_"Yes, Bella," he whispered, "simply amazing."_

**O.o**

**Chapter 11**

**1987**

"Mmm," I hummed, my eyes still shut as he gently pulled away, his hand moved to rest against my cheek, his thumb coaxing my eyes to open. His face was still close to mine, and the moonlight danced through the wooden panels of the porch above us, casting light on his skin in a way that made him look almost angelic. Either that or he was just an exquisitely beautiful demon.

The blue of his eyes were shaded by the darkness, but it didn't make the man that was behind them shine any less. "What are you smiling about?" I asked as he took our drinks and placed them on the grass at our feet, his huge grin not being able to go unnoticed.

"Oh, nothing." He laughed a little bit, coming back to his previous position, his smile growing as he started to run patterns with this thumb over my left cheekbone. "I've just wanted to do that since the night of the carnival."

"Was it all you expected to be and more?" I asked jokingly. "I mean, you didn't give me much warning. I didn't even have time to prepare myself for your lip invasion!"

"Lip invasion?" He laughed deeply, shaking his head.

"Seriously! You're lucky you didn't try to get your tongue all up inside my mouth… A girl needs to be ready for this kind of thing."

"Should I have sent in a written request?"

"Signed and dated, actually, would have worked best."

I was glad that he was still smiling, not being completely thrown off by my weird babbling.

"I don't think that works for me," he answered, shaking his head as he tried to look serious.

"Oh yeah? Why not? It's not too difficult for you, is it?"

"Well," he argued, "what if I just got the random urge to kiss you? Finding a piece of paper, writing down said urge, taking the time to sign out my name – Edward Masen has a lot of letters in it, mind you – and then remembering the date at the same time… by the time I did all that, the urge will have passed."

"You just need some pre-written request forms."

"Is that right? Where can I get these forms?" He smirked. "Do you keep packets of them handy for interested boys like myself?"

"I think you're in luck, actually."

"Oh yeah?" He laughed again.

"Yeah…I had some ordered in last week. I'll bring you some tomorrow. I could probably spare a few."

"What if I wanted to kiss you again tonight?" He leaned in a bit closer.

"I think you're shit-out-of-luck, pal," I rebutted, even though my voice was just another whisper, and my eyes were glued to his approaching lips.

"Wrong again…" he breathed out.

He kissed me then, his hand moving my hair back behind my ears as his other hand rested on my thigh. I took his face in my hands, pressing my lips more firmly against his as I played with the wonderful outline of his jaw. I felt his muscles flex beneath my fingers, and I heard him hum softly into my mouth. All that I could think about is how I wanted more.

I opened my mouth slightly, waiting for him to take it further. But instead of deepening the kiss, he pulled back.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"This is your mouth invasion warning," his deep voice whispered in my ear. "Are you ready?"

While he waited for my brain to catch up to what he was saying, his warm, soft lips placed a burning kiss on the side of my neck, causing me to make a ridiculous sound in return.

"I'll take that as a yes," he chuckled right before his lips met mine again.

This time, though, he didn't hold back. He opened his mouth as his soft tongue glided along my own, his face tilting to the side slightly. The hand that was still resting on my thigh, playing right below the hemline of my skirt, lifted my legs so that they was draped across the top of his thighs. My hands made their way to his soft hair, playing with the thick strands on the back of his head and down his neck.

His kiss wasn't messy or rushed. He took his time, his mouth slowly dancing with mine. My stomach turned to knots, and I felt my hands shaking. He, on the other hand, was steady and sure in his movements, careful and caring in his touches. My head was swimming in the moment, trying to register everything while burning it to memory at the same time.

I had been kissed before, even though eating my face might have been a better description, but I had never been kissed like _this_. This is what a kiss should feel like, and felt it I did.

When he pulled away, I tried really hard to catch my breath, but was it too cliché to say that he took my breath away? That was what it felt like. I was relieved to see that his chest was rising and falling quickly as well, easing my nerves and insecurities just a tad.

"So?" he asked, causing me to burst out laughing.

"So? Are you asking me to judge you on your kissing skills?"

"No, _Bella_," he said pointedly. "I was referring to my warning…was it enough for you?"

"I think I can let it slide just this once."

He shook his head again. "What am I going to do with you?"

"Oh yes, the infamous question…" I chuckled, my smile matching his.

Right as Edward opened his mouth to speak again, we heard giggling and shushing noises coming from the pathway we had come from. I turned around to the noise while Edward looked the same direction.

"Oh, no, Mary…I think someone took our spot," the deep voice slurred, laughing at his own words.

"But, Jamie!"

At his name, Edward sighed, taking my hand and pulling me to our feet.

"It's okay, we were just leaving," Edward voiced to the very affectionate-looking couple that stood a few feet away.

"Eddie, is that you?" Jamie asked mockingly. "Totally didn't mean to interrupt, man. We'll leave…you guys can get back to your _business._"

Edward's hand gripped mine more tightly as I stood silent and watched the scene in confusion.

"We're good, actually, Jamie. You and your friend here feel free to take off where you left off. Don't let us stop you. Come on, Bella." He began to pull on my hand and walk away when Jamie stepped out right in front of us.

"My sister was looking for you, Edward. She kept asking me if I had seen you…" he said with ice in his tone.

"Oh yeah? I better go find her, then," Edward replied blankly.

"You do that. Bella," he addressed me then, "why don't you stay here with us while Eddie goes and talks to Rachel. I bet they would appreciate the privacy."

"Oh, let it up, Jamie," Edward rebutted, obviously sounding tired of whatever Jamie was trying to get at.

"I'm just letting her know, _Edward,_" he sneered.

"There is nothing to know!"

"Right," Jamie mocked.

"Whatever, Jamie. Run along with your little friend and stay out of this."

With that, Edward led me around Jamie and back towards the backyard where everyone else was gathered. I didn't talk, not wanting to anger Edward even more. He seemed exasperated, angrily stomping his feet in the grass while continuing to hold on tightly to my hand. Honestly, I wasn't bothered by their interaction. Jamie was obviously trouble, and if Edward had anything going on with Rachel, he wouldn't be kissing me at her own house. I even had more confidence than that.

I decided it would be better to not question Edward on it, either. Even if he did once have a thing with Rachel, what difference did it make to me? Rachel seemed perfectly fine with everything that was going on with Edward and I, and she had been nothing but nice to me since I had gotten to North Carolina. Besides, I was only here for the summer. After September, when Edward left for college and I went back to Ohio, this would be all over. Why would I waste a night questioning things that were insignificant?

"Do you want to go sit by the fire?" I asked, diverting the attention away from the confrontation.

Edward stopped walking and sighed heavily. "Yeah," he mumbled. "Do you want to go inside and get another drink first? We left ours by the swing…"

I smiled up at him and nodded my head. "That sounds good."

As we were walking into the kitchen, there some other people scattered throughout the space who noticed Edward right away.

"Hey, man," a guy sounded out from his spot by the center island.

"What's up, Em," Edward replied, nodding with his head as we stepped up to the same counter.

"Who's the lady?" this guy asked, looking at me with a sweet smile on his face.

"This is Bella. Bella, this is my cousin, Emmett."

"Hi." I lifted my hand in a small wave. "Nice to meet you."

"Wow, you sound different." He laughed.

"Northerner," Edward explained as he got us new cups and wrote our names on them, causing Emmett to hum in registration.

"What's a pretty northern girl like you doing down here in the deep south?"

"Deep south?" I laughed. "I wouldn't classify North Carolina as the deep south."

"Tsk, tsk," he shook his head, laughing, "you have no idea, pretty thing."

I sighed and shrugged my shoulders. I looked over at Edward and he was chuckling as he poured us each a beer.

"Watch it, Em, this one is difficult," Edward sounded.

I winked at Emmett in return, and he laughed loudly.

"Feisty," he commented. "I like that."

Edward stopped, mid pour, and looked up at his cousin pointedly. "Don't even think about it."

"Aw, did you piss on her already?" he asked, pouting. "Like a damn dog claiming his territory."

"That's disgusting!" I couldn't help but say, my laugh breaking through my words.

"Damn right I claim her," Edward said seriously. "She's awesome. So back off, buddy. I'm not afraid to kick your ass."

Emmett laughed at this and threw his hands up in surrender. "Okay, okay. I won't put on my irrefutable Masen charms."

"Thank God," I mumbled, jokingly. "One Masen at a time is more than enough. I can hardly keep up as it is!"

"Well, darling, if you ever get sick of Eddie's little-boy charms, you know what Masen to come to if you want to be with a real man." He winked and Edward reached over the island and punched him in the arm, semi-playfully, of course.

"Keep talking, Em, keep talking."

I just laughed and sipped on my beer that Edward had passed my way. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Like hell you will," Edward rebutted, coming over and wrapping his arm around my shoulders, placing a soft kiss on my head. "Come on, before he takes off his clothes or something." He laughed and led me outside.

"He's funny," I commented as we made our way to the still-roaring bonfire.

"Yeah. He's like my brother." His voice was full of passionate sincerity.

"Do you have any brothers or sisters?" I asked causally, realizing how little I knew about him.

"Nope. I'm the only blessed child of Carlisle and Esme Masen. Emmett and his little sister, Tanya, are my dad's brother's, Aro's kids. And then Uncle Aro is married to my Aunt Elizabeth."

"And they live around here, too, I'm guessing."

"Oh yeah. All of us were born and raised here. But besides them, we don't really have any other family. Both set of my grandparents have passed away, and my mom never had any siblings."

"Small family…I can relate to that."

"Yeah. I actually want to have a really big family of my own someday."

"Oh really?" I laughed.

"Like…five kids."

"Five kids!

"Two or three wives, you know." He winked, pulling me closer.

"Good luck with that one, pal," I rebutted, laughing along with him.

"Yo, Edward," Riley called just as we reached the fire. "Where the hell have you been?"

There were some chairs set up next to the fire now, and I sat down in the chair next to Riley and Edward sat next to me.

"Don't worry about it," Edward replied, taking a long pull from is beer.

Riley looked back and forth between Edward and I before nodding. "Got it."

I just rolled my eyes. I automatically hated whatever assumptions people were making, no matter how true they might have been.

"So was Rachel really looking for me earlier, or was Jamie just being an ass?" Edward asked Riley, annoyance clear in his voice.

"Not sure. I haven't seen Rach for a while now."

Edward just sighed and sat back. "Fucking Jamie," he muttered under his breath, probably not intending for anyone to hear it.

"So why are you just sitting here, Riley?" I asked, noticing that he was just chilling out here by himself. The other people who were around the fire were on the other side, not paying attention to us at all.

He just shrugged in response, mumbling, "Girls," causing Edward to laugh beside me.

"So I'm taking that things didn't go over well between you and Janet?"

"Women, man. I don't think for the life of me I'll ever be able to figure them out."

"Welcome to my world," I voiced, earning a good chuckle from Riley.

"Bella, I don't get it." He turned to look at me now. "Please, tell me, how am I supposed to win a girl over? I'm nice to her, I bought her flowers once, I didn't hit on her friends."

"Wow," Edward spoke up, interrupting him. "You went a day without hitting on one of her friends? I think that's a first." He laughed.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. Bella, please, help a guy out."

"Okay," I tried, "tell me about her. What does she like?"

"Um…"

"Anything," I pushed.

He just looked at me blankly.

"Okay, let's try this. What does she like to do for fun?"

"She likes to paint things, I think," he finally said, shrugging his shoulders, as if he wasn't sure if he was just pulling this out of his ass or not.

"Okay, painting is a good start. Have you thought about taking her to a pottery-painting place?"

"Ugh, that shit is so lame, Bella."

"Lame, maybe, but if she likes to paint then I'm sure she'll enjoy that. And since you're painting something while you're there, it will give her something to take home and keep, which will make her think about you every time she looks at it."

"How do girls even come up with this stuff?" he mused, taking another sip of whatever alcohol was in his red cup.

"Hey, you asked for my help."

"Okay, okay," he sighed. "What else?"

"Buying a girl flowers once is not going to get you very far. You don't even need to buy anything, but when you're trying to court a girl, it's not a one-stop-shop. You need to show her that you're interested and that she's worth the effort. Write her a letter, call her house just to talk every once and a while, show up at her house and tell her that you just had to see her."

"Fuck this, man. There's no way I'm cut out for this," he grumbled, which in turn made Edward laugh.

"Maybe I'm the wrong one to ask. Try out Edward here…he seems to know what he's doing." I smiled over at Edward, and he winked at me in return.

"Okay, Eddie, what's your master advice?" Riley asked desperately.

"You're shit out of luck, dude. Sorry." He laughed, and Riley groaned loudly, pulling at his hair and shaking his head.

"What are you guys talking about?" I heard Rachel ask as she came over and joined us by the fire, taking the empty chair that was next to Edward.

"Riley's girl problems," Edward answered, which made Rachel chuckle.

"They never end, do they, Riley?" she asked.

"How am I ever supposed to get a girl to marry me if I can't even get one to date me first?"

I actually felt sympathy for him, and I placed my hand on his hunched over back, patting it a few times. "Don't give up yet. The right girl is out there for you somewhere."

"Patience is a virtue, my friend," Edward added.

"I'm sure you'll get some girl drunk enough one night to finally agree to put up with your sorry ass for the rest of your life. You shouldn't be too worried," Rachel advised.

"You guys suck."

We all laughed then, and I looked back over at Edward, just enjoying his smile. He winked at me when he caught me staring, sending the butterflies right back to my stomach. How could he do that to me with just one look? It was ridiculous.

The four of us stayed out by the fire for what seemed like hours, just talking and laughing at one another. They asked me more questions, and I learned more about them in return. I knew that Edward had just graduated from high school, but I learned that Rachel did as well, and that Riley was my age, graduating the year after. Edward I knew was planning on going to UNC, but Rachel was still undecided. Her parents wanted her to do one thing when she wanted to do another.

Before we knew it, we looked around and everyone was gone. Riley looked at his watch and relayed that it was well after four in the morning.

"Damn," Rachel said. "I had no idea it was that late."

A yawn inevitably escaped my lips, my body screaming at me to go to bed.

"Are you guys sleeping here tonight?" Rachel asked, standing up from the chair and stretching.

"If that's okay," Edward prodded, yawning himself.

"Doesn't bother me at all."

"I call sleeping with Bella!" Riley yelled jokingly, receiving an evil glare from Edward.

"Screw you guys, I'm sleeping in Rachel's bed." I laughed, Rachel joining me.

"Suckers," she commented. "Y'all can take the couches."

Edward and Riley stayed outside to put out the fire while Rachel and I made our way inside to start cleaning up. The place was a mess.

"This is the worst part about these parties," she complained as we were pouring opened bottles into the sink before tossing them into the black trash bags. "Why can't people just clean up after themselves?"

"Beats me," I noted, working right alongside her.

"Can't we do this shit tomorrow?" Riley asked as he and Edward joined us in the kitchen.

Edward walked over to where I was and wrapped his arms around my waist from behind, resting his head against my shoulder. "I'm tired," he mumbled.

"Yeah, that's fine," Rachel agreed, causing Edward to squeal a little, "Yay," in excitement.

I climbed up the stairs to Rachel's room with one last kiss from Edward. Sleeping that night, surprisingly, didn't come easily, considering how tired I was. Knowing that Edward was right downstairs had me tossing and turning all night, and, believe me, it pissed me off. I hated that my emotions were so carefully controlled by another, especially since I didn't trust Edward yet.

Trust came with time. I had barely known Edward for a few weeks, if even that.

However, the next morning eventually came, and I was grateful for the few selected hours of sleep that I had gotten. Rachel, unlike myself, fell asleep almost instantly, which in turn made her mood the next morning a lot more chipper than my own.

"Morning, y'all," Riley greeted as he saw us walking down the stairs.

"Ugh," I grunted out in return.

"Morning!" Rachel chirped at the same time. "Where's Edward?" she asked, looking around, not seeing him.

"Kitchen…"

We walked into the next room, and sure enough, there he was, cooking breakfast for us. _Bless him._ And there was coffee… _I think he just sealed his fate!_

I immediately went towards the caffeine first, not bothering to acknowledge him with my words yet.

"Well, good morning to you, too, sunshine," he joked, looking at me.

I thought that giving him the stink-eye since he was making me breakfast probably wasn't the best idea. A small smile was what graced my face instead, causing Edward to just laugh at my reaction.

"Not a morning person I take it."

"Ugh."

"Good to know." He smiled and continued to work on breakfast.

"So, Bella," he asked, once I had taken a few sips of my delicious black drink. "I was thinking about that date…"

"Oh yes, that date," I responded, smiling at him from behind my mug.

"What about tomorrow afternoon. Would that be okay?"

"I have to check my calendar. I'm a busy girl, being a hot commodity and all of that."

"Hot commodity?" He laughed.

"Oh yeah, man."

"Well, is there anything I can do to convince you to cancel your oh-so-special plans and hang out with me instead?"

"Mmm," I brought my finger to my lips, pretending to think, "bribery always works."

"Bribery? What kind of bribery?"

"Kisses are a good thing."

"I like kisses," he agreed.

"And food works, too."

"I can do food."

"I also like flowers."

"What kind of flowers?"

"Daisies." I smiled.

"Pink daisies?"

"I think you may be on to something, Mr. Masen."

"I'm just good like that."

"We'll see." I winked and finished my cup of coffee, waiting patiently for my home cooked breakfast.

A date with Edward, I thought happily, that sounded absolutely lovely.

**O.o**

"So, you're not a lesbian?" Uncle Charlie asked, following me out of the kitchen and into the living room.

"Not today, at least," I dismissed lightly, laughing to myself as I grabbed my purse to make sure I had my house key.

He sighed dramatically. "You're going to give me a heart attack, kid. I'm going to die at a very young age thanks to you."

I turned and patted his shoulder. "I've been living with you for only a few weeks, Uncle Charlie. You need thicker skin if we're going to make it through the entire summer together."

"Teenagers," he mumbled, sitting down in his signature recliner, acting as if our conversation had worn him into exhaustion. "So, where is he taking you on this 'date'?"

I took his lead and sat down on the couch next to his chair. "First off, you can lose the air quotes." I looked at him pointedly, causing him to roll his eyes, before I continued, mockingly, "And secondly, I don't know if I should tell you, with your health being at risk, and all."

"I'm glad to see you got your smart-mouth from your mother," he replied snarkily, even though his smile gave away his true feelings.

"Nah, all my wit comes from you." I smiled super sweetly, batting my eyelashes.

A laugh escaped him, and he turned to look at me. "I do love you, kid."

"You can't help it. I'm super adorable."

"Yeah, yeah." We both laughed.

"But I love you, too, Uncle Charlie."

We sat in silence for just a few minutes before his voice rose and he went off on another rant. "I'm still not happy about this _thing_ with you and Edward. Didn't I warn him when y'all first met that this was not allowed? Does he need to be reminded that I handle guns quite well? One shot is all it would take…" he warned, cocking an eyebrow, daring me to argue.

This had been my struggle all morning. Telling him about my and Edward's date that was planned for this afternoon had sent him into a fit. He scolded me for acting like a dramatic teen, yet, here he was, raging on as if this was the end of the world. Edward was a good guy; Charlie knew this. He was just stubborn.

"Relax," I said, for about the hundredth time that day. "Trust me to make good decisions. I'm a smart girl, Uncle Charlie. You and my mom raised me right."

"Oh, no you don't," he rebutted, shaking his little finger at me. "Don't get all sentimental and personal on me. I know your tricks." His eyes narrowed into little slits as he glared at me.

But he was right…I had my tricks, and I was damn good at using them. "Don't you think I'm a smart girl?" I asked with a hint of sadness in my voice. "I promise I would never do anything reckless to hurt you or myself." His eyes were beginning to soften, so I continued, "I just want you to trust me. You do trust me, right?"

"Damn-it, Bella." He sighed, closing his eyes.

"He treats me right," I added, pushing ever so slightly. "He makes me laugh." By now, Charlie had his head resting against the back of the chair, his eyes still shut, beginning to accept defeat. "He's smart, and funny, and very hardworking. You can even attest to that!"

He sighed again after hearing my words, crossing his arms across his chest.

"I really like him, Uncle Charlie. Please, let me have this." My voice was only a bare whisper by that point, laying it on thick.

"What the hell am I going to do with you, Bella?" he finally answered.

I just squealed like the true giddy teenager I was, knowing this was as much of his blessing that I was going to get. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" I jumped off the couch and wrapped my arms around him, shaking him back and forth in beat with my words.

He awkwardly patted my back in return. "Yeah, yeah. You and your evil tricks."

I just laughed and removed myself from his warm body. "Like I said, you need thicker skin." I winked, and he laughed in return. He really was a good sport.

A timid, quiet knock sounded at the door after we had broken away, and I ran off to answer it, knowing who it was standing on the porch. My stomach was suddenly filled with butterflies, killing me slowly with heated anticipation and giddiness. My feet led me forward, my mind repeating that I just wanted to feel his lips again, pressing against mine ever so softly. I wanted to feel his nose rub down against mine as his rough, calloused hand held onto my smooth, rosy cheek.

"Bella, wait," Charlie voiced, stopping me right before I reached the door. "Move out of the way." He pushed me to the side so he was to answer it instead.

_Oh great,_ I muttered to myself, rolling my eyes.

"Well, lookie here," Charlie said in a ruff voice. "If it isn't Edward Masen. What do I owe this great honor, Edward?"

"Uh, well, hi, Mr. Swan," he stammered. _Come on, kid! It's just Charlie! _"I was actually here to pick up Bella."

"Bella? My niece, Bella? You can't mean her, can you?" he sneered.

"Actually, sir, that is who I mean. We have a date."

"A date?"

"Yes, sir."

"And why are you taking _my_ Bella out on a date?"

"Well, um, I like her, sir."

"Like her?"

"She's really nice…and funny. And smart, too, really smart. And she's pretty. God, is she pretty." He practically sighed out the last few words.

"Where are you taking her on this 'date'?"

"Lose the air quotes, Uncle Charlie," I warned from my spot against the wall next to him. Even though I was out of Edward's view, I could still hear the exchange and see Charlie perfectly.

"Stay out of this, Bella. This doesn't concern you," he replied, not even glancing at me.

"Okay, this is enough." I pushed my way past Charlie so I could finally see Edward. Charlie reluctantly took a step back, making room for me. "Flowers!" I exclaimed as soon as I saw Edward on the step.

"Pink daisies," Edward replied, passing them to me.

"Oh, Edward, they are beautiful! Thank you!"

I heard Uncle Charlie groan behind me.

"Oh, get over it. The man is allowed to bring me flowers," I scolded lightly, turning around and handing off the pink beauties to my now scowling uncle. "Put these in water for me?" I asked sweetly, stepping up on my toes to give him a kiss on the cheek.

"Yeah, yeah," he grumbled. "You guys don't stay out too late."

"We won't, Mr. Swan."

He just glared at Edward.

"You're going to make me lose my job," Edward whispered as we walked out to his old blue truck.

"Nah, he's just being difficult."

"I see where you get it from, then." He laughed.

"Don't worry; it will rub off on you, too."

"Oh, I'm looking forward to it."

"So where are we going?"

"Somewhere special."

"How elusive, Mr. Masen."

He just smiled at me as climbed into the driver's side of the truck, and I settled into the passenger's seat.

"How about this, Bella," he began as the ignition roared to life, "I promise it won't disappoint."

**O.o**

**So I had originally planned this chapter to start off with the date, but it just wasn't working, so this is what you got instead. I hope you enjoyed it!**

**And for those of you who are interested, that contest I kept talking about? **_**There You'll Be**_ **won 2****nd**** place public vote, 3****rd**** place judges pick, and Best Tear Jerker. Check out the other entries, too, if you haven't already. They're killer. **

**I also made a video to go to this fic that is to the song **_**Strawberry Wine **_**by Deanna Carter. Here is the link if you wanted to watch: http:/ youtu (dot) be / HLRzkjSqe6w**

**Anyway, you guys are lovely. Please review! **


	12. Chapter 12

**I have the most amazing set of people who work on this fic to make it perfect for you guys – My betas ginginlee and sparklingtwilight and my prereaders lizzylillyrose and morethanmyself. And another amazing person****, IllicitWriter, who has wonderfully agreed to make picteases every week! They will post PicTease on TwiFicNews on Monday mornings. All those ladies deserve a huge, loving thanks! **

**Special thanks to everyone who reviews – I absolutely love reading them. I've also been better about replying, so expect to hear from me if you review. **

**SW has also gotten a ton of coverage lately! Within the past week, it has been featured on IndieFicPimp AND Southern Fan Fiction Review. Honestly, I'm flabbergasted. Please go check out both of the lovely written reviews. It makes my heart so happy that people want to get the word out about this little fic! So, seriously, thank you! **

**I was going to post tomorrow, but I just couldn't wait. So, here it is. I hope you enjoy! **

**Chapter 12**

**2010**

I brought the vile, white stick to my lips, taking a long drag of destruction, sending the disease straight to my awaiting lungs. _Yes. _I felt better already. I wanted to think about the weather to take my mind away from other things, but the weather was always the same. It would provide me with no new thoughts or intellectual insight. The constant, blistering heat, the unyielding, demanding sun, the endless vast blue sky fought for dominance over the heavy summer storms, the lightening taking a stand against the cloudless serenity. It was either one or the other. Either calm, beautiful purity that left my skin red, raw, and burned and sent me into an unwavering sense of exhaustion, or a heavy storm, angry in its demand for attention, yet leaving us with a cool, wet, soft Earth and a heavenly-sent breeze.

The seemingly easy option, a summer day over a stormy one, caused more problems in the end. A difficult day, on the other hand, led to refreshment and peace. So did that mean that the storms were worth fighting for? Were they what was worth it in the end? Was that why it didn't work out all those years ago – it was too easy, too simple? Maybe so; besides, that summer did leave me burned, scarred from his touch, his kiss acting like the sun's brutal rays, forever marring my skin in a tantalizing reminder. Was my ex-husband the storm? _No – _he absolutely was not worth it.

_Wow, _I thought to myself after a moment, realizing what I was doing, _analyzing the weather to fit into my screwed up love life. So this is what rock bottom felt like._

"My God, please tell me I'm mistaken."

I was too busy in my own ridiculous thoughts on life that the world around me seemed to fade to gray, the people and noises passing by me in a blur.

I was making a mental note to call my therapist when the same voice broke out again, this time closer. "Well, hit me over the head with a stick and call it four days from Monday! Look who it is!" The deep southern accent finally registered in my mind, and my head snapped up.

The sun impaired my view from my bench outside Wal-Mart, but I could vaguely notice a man who was perched a few feet away, staring in my direction with his mouth wide open and his hands glued to his hips. His dark brown curly hair was matted down from a worn, faded blue ball-cap, and his red and black plaid shirt was covered in mud; however, as soon as it clicked who it was, the stains weren't enough from keeping me from jumping into his arms.

He caught me easily, spinning me around as my cigarette flitted from my fingers, landing like a forgotten memory on the white concrete beneath our feet.

"Emmett!" I squealed, tightening my hold on Edward's much larger but just as charming cousin. "I can't believe it!"

He eventually put me back down, holding onto my shoulders tightly as he examined me. "Bella, baby, look at you! I swear, each time I see you, you only look more beautiful!"

I nudged him with my elbow bashfully. "Whatever, Emmett, I swear the world is out to get me and destroy my life with wrinkles and sagging body parts."

He did another once over, a smirk rising on his lips. "Nope, I'm pretty sure the world is working in your favor this time, Bells. You really do look great. What has it been? Five years, six?"

"At least," I agreed, pulling him back to me and hugging him again. "I'm so happy to see you."

"Well, what the Hell are you doing in Johnston County? I'm pretty sure I didn't see any pigs flying today…"

I chuckled at his joke and shrugged. "Life brought me back here. Who would have thought?"

"Well, I'll be damned."

He just looked at me and smiled his big goofy grin. One of his teeth were missing from when he decided to ride a mechanical bull on his twenty-first birthday, but it only added to his unusual southern beauty. His entire appearance screamed the south, from the holes in the jeans, his farmer's tan, plaid shirt, work boots, and ball-cap - the missing tooth just completed the look.

"You are a sight, Mr. Masen, let me tell ya." I laughed, pushing a hand through my hair that was already damp with sweat.

"What are you doing today, button? You want to go grab a drink so you can explain yourself? There's a lot of things you need to fill me in on," he scolded, looking at me pointedly.

I checked the time on my phone. "Em, it's only just past two in the afternoon. Don't you think it's too early for drinks?"

"Bella…look around. It's never too early for drinks here. Come on." He slung his large arm around my shoulders and led me to the parking lot. "You can drive," he said, allowing me to steer him to my car.

"How come I have to drive?"

"Ugh, you don't want to drive with me."

"And why's that?"

"'Cuz I drove the tractor."

"Oh jeeze." I shook my head, laughing. "You brought that thing all the way to Wal-Mart?"

He just shrugged. "Whatever works, belly-button."

"You'll never change, will you?"

"There's no use in changing when I'm already perfect! God made me this way for a darn good reason."

"Have you figured out that reason yet?" I laughed again, seriously enjoying his company.

"Not a damn clue."

I snaked my arms around his large torso. "Let me know when you figure that one out."

"You'll be the first to know." He winked at me then when we reached my Prius, climbing into the passenger side after I unlocked the doors.

"So where to, Mr. Masen?" I smiled brightly, my hands resting on the steering wheel for his instructions.

"Bella," he said seriously, his face dropping a bit. "Why are you calling me Masen? I thought that was one of your rules…we weren't allowed to voice my last name."

I shrugged and played with the large gray wheel nervously. "How about we just get to the bar first, and then I promise to tell you all about it."

"Okay, darling," he agreed sadly.

I didn't want to get too caught up on that right now – I needed a beer first, and to get out of this forsaken heat. Emmett pointed to all the twists and turns that got us to The Cleveland Draft House, which really was just a little way down Highway 42. The place was actually pretty big, and the parking lot was full of motorcycles.

"A biker bar?" I asked incredulously.

He looked at me strangely. "No."

I pointed to all the bikes.

"And?" he asked.

"Bikes…biker bar?"

"Johnston County? Everyone and their mom has a motorcycle." He matched my snippy tone.

Sure enough, just as he said that, a group of _well-aged_ people came out of the door, sporting their black leather jackets and hoisted themselves up on bikes that were close to our car. "You weren't kidding," I mumbled, watching as the sea of gray hair was covered by helmets.

"Come on, Bella." He laughed, pulling me along into the building.

The place actually had a restaurant part to it, too, but Emmett didn't even contemplate sitting in the dining hall – we went straight towards the bar, bypassing the row of pool-tables and dart boards in the process. We sat at a raised two-person table, each ordering a beer when the charming, chesty little twenty-something blonde asked.

"So I know why you come here." I chuckled, watching the waitress saunter off to get our drinks.

"Nah, I come for that one." He pointed to a burly man, probably in his late forties, covered in tattoos. Emmett started laughing when I raised my brow at him, and he just shook his head. "Just kidding, button baby. My charms are for my one-and-only, Rosie-bear."

I smiled and tucked my arms in my lap. "How is Rosalie?" I asked. However, as soon as Emmett's face fell, I immediately became concerned.

"Here you go, y'all." Busty-blonde put down our drinks on the table, asking us if we wanted anything else before she left. We shook our heads no, but my eyes had yet to leave from Em's fallen face.

"Emmett?"

"She passed three years go," he voiced, taking a particularly long pull of his beer.

"Oh, Em," I sighed, not knowing what else to say. "I'm so sorry."

He just smiled at me. "No worries, sugar-top. That woman gave me the best twenty years of my life! And we have three beautiful girls together, who look exactly like their mother, by the way. I'm surprised I'm not in jail…they still can't find one of the boys I killed. Chopped him to little pieces for touching my Anna-banana." He winked at me, and I knew he was using his humor to cover up the pain.

"What happened? Last time I saw you guys everything was great!"

"Breast cancer. They couldn't catch it in time. But I'm telling you, Bella, my Rosie was the proudest patient I ever knew. She used every last day of her life trying to get the word about early detection, holding fundraisers and events that she would speak at. She wouldn't touch a wig, knowing that her beauty wasn't found in her fallen golden locks. She was stronger than I was, holding me as I cried.

"God gave me an angel; He just wanted her back, that's all. I can't say I blame Him." He was still smiling, but I could see the tears that glistened in his eyes.

"How are your girls? Are they okay?"

He nodded. "They got their mother's strength, that's for sure."

"What are they doing now?"

"The oldest is in college at Appalachian State, my middle will be a junior in high school, and the youngest is about to start her freshmen year. I swear, they grow up in a blink of an eye. I feel like Anna should still be in a crib and crying over a scraped knee."

"And you still have the farm?"

"Only God's hands can pry that land from me." He smiled. "Granted, the bank has tried a time or two, but I'm a stubborn old thing."

I smiled back, agreeing.

"So is that why you haven't been back to Ohio?" I asked, referring to Rosalie's family who lived in Columbus, the same city I did. I had first run into Emmett about fifteen years ago, before I was even married, in a bar downtown. To say I was shocked to see him would be a dramatic understatement. But, just like I had with Charlie, Emmett and I had our rules. I didn't want to hear about Edward; I didn't want to ruin the illusion…the memory of him.

As I said before, I thought to myself, I made a lot of bad decisions in my lifetime, my rules being one of them.

"Yeah." He frowned this time. "Sorry I never told you. It was just…easier, I don't know, if you still thought she was alive. That way, she still lived on to someone, even if to me she was gone."

"Oh, Emmett." I took his hand from across the table. "She'll always live on."

A tear finally slipped down his dirt-covered cheek, leaving a pale line through the caked-mud in its wake.

"I was so lucky to have her that it's almost not fair to miss her, you know? I shouldn't be allowed to be sad for something when I was blessed so greatly to begin with."

"You're allowed to miss her…"

He didn't say anything for a minute, his eyes instead glued to the wooden grain of the bar table. "That's alright," he finally voiced, his tone a lot more chipper, "I'll see her again. Heaven is the only place for an angel like her, and we already established that I'm pretty darn awesome." He smiled, raising a brow to push his point. "So Heaven is the only ending for me, too. That and Jesus and stuff." He laughed at the end, myself not being able to keep from joining in.

"Okay, Bella," he finally said seriously, "you have a lot of explaining to do, young lady!"

I sighed heavily and drank more from my beer. "What do you want to know?"

"The last I thought, this would be the last place you would ever come to again. What the hell happened?"

"Um, well, my uncle got sick."

"Charlie! Is he alright? I just took him to the store not a month ago! He's having some breathing issues, but other than that, he never said anything."

"Yeah, I don't really know the prognosis; he won't let me take him to a specialist, but he just needs someone to help him, especially around the house and with the horses. He can't drive, he has enough trouble walking, and his house would literally rot as he stood by and did nothing. It was just time."

"What else?" he asked, looking at me pointedly, while I, on the other hand, ignored his eyes like the plague.

"What do you mean?"

"Bella…you know the people here would never let Charlie Swan get that bad. Hell, Edw…um, I mean, _we_, um, what I meant was…"

"Emmett," I held my hand up to stop his rambling, "it's okay. You can say his name."

"Edward himself looks after Charlie like he was his own father," he rushed out, probably afraid that if he didn't say it quickly enough, I would cover my ears like a petulant child, refusing to hear it.

"I know he does."

He looked at me like I was crazy. "What? How do you know?"

"I've seen him," I offered. "Charlie tried to burn the house down the first morning I was here…"

This caused Emmett to burst out laughing, good full belly laughs. "Never underestimate the power and will of an old determined man!"

I just shook my head. "He could have just called him over to the house. He didn't have to go to such drastic measures to get my attention!" I argued.

"Bella," he said more seriously, "I joke about myself being stubborn and all, but you are the most stubborn person I have ever met. You have it in this thick head of yours that life wasn't supposed to work out for you and Edward…"

"Emmett," I interrupted, suddenly becoming angry, "life is not some book! Edward and I spent one summer together…one! It's not like he's my eternal soul-mate! I was seventeen! Why is this so hard for people to understand? I would have been delusional and ridiculous to 'wait for him to come find me'. My life is not a fairytale; I'm not some princess that needs to be rescued from the big castle. I had a life to live…so I lived it."

"You're such a realist," he said after a minute.

"I have to be."

"Why?"

"Because life doesn't wait for Prince Charming to leave his wife and two kids and come find his long lost princess in Ohio when he made it clear to her twenty years before that it was never going to happen," I yelled.

"Bella…"

"No, Emmett. Edward didn't want me! I was a fling…a summer romance that just turned into a nice thought, a fun memory."

"Bella!"

"He married Rachel!"

"But…"

"There are no 'but's!"

"THERE'S A HUGE 'BUT'!"

"But what, then?

"HE WAS IN LOVE WITH YOU."

I sat there for a moment, regaining my composure. "Sometimes love isn't enough."

"Sometimes love is everything."

"It wasn't in our case."

"Your 'case' isn't closed yet," he countered. "I don't see a ring on your finger anymore, so I take it that you left that good-for-nothing bastard. Now, you're back here, he's here, so why not tell life to shut the hell up for a second and do what you want to do, Bella? Make love be enough. Stop wasting years on thinking that what you had with Edward was just a fun memory. You don't believe in soul-mates? Well, I do. I saw God in Rosalie every damn day that we were together, and a God like that wouldn't let the man that you're supposed to be with slip through your fingers so easily. You have fought every day to forget him, but did you ever think that he wasn't meant to be forgotten? Yes, Edward married Rachel, but you're not innocent in this thing, either. Have you even told Edward that you married…"

"No," I said abruptly. "I haven't."

"Don't you think he deserves to know?"

"What does it matter? I'm not with him anymore…"

"Bella-"

"Emmett, enough. He is my past. I'll tell Edward eventually. It's a moot point, really. I don't see how it's so significant."

"Of course it's significant! Do you not see the motives behind why you married him?"

"Emmett…"

"I see right through you, Bella."

"Well, I'm glad I'm so damn transparent," I snapped.

"Okay, okay." He raised his hands up in surrender. "Don't get upset with me, belly-bean. I'm just trying to get through to you."

"And what was your big point exactly?" I asked, trying to keep my voice calm, but my frustration was surely evident.

"It's time that you start fighting for the life that you want to live. My Rosie fought for her life, and even though she's no longer here with us, she was the happiest woman I had ever met. She was happy, not because life did everything in her favor, but because she did everything she could to not waste a second of the time God had given."

"Do you think I'm wasting my life, then?"

"No, Bella, I just think you have a lot of fighting left to do."

"I thought there needed to be two participants in a fight…I can't do any punching if he isn't willing to even step in the ring."

"Don't be so quick to underestimate Edward's feelings in this."

"Why?"

"Because he has not spent the last two decades thinking that you were just a fun memory, even though he wouldn't admit it."

"How do you know that?"

"You had your rules, Bella. I was never allowed to talk about him to you…but it wasn't necessarily the same with Edward."

"You and Edward would talk about me!"

"He knows that I've seen you, yes."

"Did you tell him about my life…about who I...?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Edward didn't want to know the intricacies of your life. He was more concerned about things like if you were safe, alive, happy…"

"So he knew where I was all these years?"

"Yes."

"See," I wiped an unexpected tear from my eye, "he could have come and found me if he wanted to. Obviously he didn't want to."

Emmett just shook his head. "Stop analyzing his motives. He didn't know where you were until after he was married. And then you yourself got married, so what was he to do? For all he knew, he thought that you were happy. Your happiness meant a lot more to him than you think."

"I can't believe this."

"I don't know what to tell you, Bella," he practically growled out in frustration.

I looked up to meet his gaze; his eyes weren't hard, but they were stern.

"What?" I asked, confused by his expression.

"I just told you that Edward pretty much spent the greater portion of his life loving you! For God's sake, do something about it!" he yelled.

"Come on," I finally said after his words sunk in, standing up and grabbing a ten dollar bill out of my purse and putting it on the table.

"Where are we going?"

"I have an idea."

My hands shook as it held the steering wheel, my leg that wasn't on the gas tapping up and down repeatedly. Why was I this nervous? Should I have been this nervous? Was there a code book for the appropriate nerve set level for this kind of situation? I was glad Emmett was still with me; he just whistled like a happy sailor from the passenger seat, looking at the view as we drove. After we got into the car, he didn't ask where we were going again. I was pretty sure he knew.

The station didn't look any different than when I visited before, and the amount of butterflies in my stomach seemed about the same.

"Oh, lookie," Emmett said sarcastically. "We're at the fire station!" He turned to smile widely at me. "I'm really proud of you, darlin'."

His thick accent was surprisingly comforting. "Thanks." I undid my seatbelt but left the keys in the ignition for Emmett, who didn't make a move to get out of the car. "Well, here goes nothing."

"Good luck!" he shouted out the window as I made my way up to the door.

I knocked a few times, but there was no answer, so I just knocked harder. When no one was still answering, I decided it was only best if I let myself in. It wasn't like I was breaking into a house or anything…

"Hello? Is anyone here?" I walked around the station, noticing the dirty dishes in the sink, the TV was on, and weights were discarded on the floor of the gym. I figured, then, that a call must have come through, and that they must have been saving someone or something from the lick of flames. I knew Edward was on duty, though; he had told me last week when he was over with his family during the storm, that he took some extra shifts this week since the kids were going to the beach with their mom. I also saw his car in the parking lot, so I figured if I was already here, I might as well do it.

I ran back out to my car, a plan set in my head, and dug around for a piece of paper in the dashboard console. Emmett looked at me strangely, but I was afraid that if I was going to put my actions in to words, I would lose my nerve. When I found paper that was good enough, I got a pen out of my purse and went back inside. In the best writing I had, I wrote:

_I, Bella, would like permission to kiss you, Edward. June 21, 2010. – Here is my request form, signed and dated, of course. You know where to find me…bring the form._

Memories of our first official date of that summer filled my mind, remembering the whole stack of these he had made and brought with us, handing me one every time he pressed his lips up against mine. I think that was the first time I knew I was falling for him…he took my ridiculous babble and turned it into one of the sweetest gestures. I was hoping that he would remember this and not think I was crazy for leaving this on his pillow on his bed at the station. But Emmett was right, it was about time that I started to fight for my life. This was me stepping into battle…

"You all set?" Em asked as I got back into the car.

I smiled at him. "Yeah, I think I am."

**O.o**

"Seth, get off the phone," I scolded, throwing an apple at him across the barn.

"Okay, baby…yeah, I miss you, too…you hang up first…no, you hang up first!"

"Oh my dear God," I mumbled, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Okay…okay…yeah, I'll see you tonight. Okay…"

"SETH!"

"Alright, the boss lady is about to shit herself, I really have to go. Talk to you soon, baby…bye."

He finally hung up the phone. "I take it your playa days are long gone," I voiced, smirking at the now blushing Seth.

"Gloat all you want, Bella. I just really like her, okay." He shrugged, picking up the apple I threw at him and handing it to one of the horses.

"I'm really happy to hear that, Seth." I smiled genuinely. "Will you bring her over to the house? I would love to meet her!"

"You want to meet her?" He looked at me as if I was crazy.

"Of course I do! Why wouldn't I want to meet the girl that finally tamed this wild boy?"

"Uh," he fiddled with his fingers, "you care that much?"

"Seth," I said seriously, "of course I care."

He looked at me with a lot of pain in his eyes. "Why?"

"If she's important to you, she's important to me…" I wasn't sure what lay underneath his features, but there was definitely something there that he wasn't telling me.

"I would really like that, Bella."

I smiled widely. "Good! Besides, she needs my approval, anyway!"

"Okay, Mom!" He laughed, even though his words struck a deep cord within me.

I didn't allow him to see my face fall just a tad; I quickly turned and continued feeding the horses, instead. "Don't laugh," I tried to say lightly, "someone needs to keep you in line."

He didn't say anything, so I thought he just considered that the conversation ended there, but before I knew it, I felt his hands wrap around my waist from behind.

"Thank you, Bella." His voice was heavy and not at all joking.

I turned around in his arms and hugged him back, doing the only thing I knew to do in that moment. "You're welcome, Seth."

He went back over to his horse without another word after that, but my mind was then spinning with ideas of what that could have been about. I really needed to talk to Uncle Charlie about Seth. I couldn't believe I haven't even thought to ask him about the boy who spent so much time at his house. I should have known….

There was a cough that came from the door of the barn that broke me out of my thoughts. I quickly turned my head and was greeted with the stunning image of Edward in light, holey jeans and a white t-shirt.

"Edward," I said happily, smiling at him. I noticed the piece of paper in his hands that I left on his bed yesterday afternoon, and I suddenly became overwhelmingly nervous.

"I'll be right back," Seth voiced, patting Edward on the shoulder before stepping out of the barn.

"Hi," he greeted quietly, looking at me.

"Hi," I said in return.

My smile that was across my face fell a bit when I took in his facial expression. It didn't match my once happy one. "What's wrong?" I asked, putting down the extra apples back in the bucket.

"I, um, got this." He held up the note.

"I see that."

He slowly started walking over towards me, seemingly like an eternity for him to get just a foot away. I could smell him then – he smelt like ash, his job lingering on his skin. His blue eyes were looking intently in mine, trying, it seemed, to communicate through them alone.

His hand that didn't hold the paper that held our fate rose to my face. His fingers gently stroked my cheek, causing my eyes to flutter shut. I sighed, leaning into his touch, goose bumps appearing on my overheated skin. Was this it? Was he going to kiss me? Was I finally going to experience his lips on mine again?

"I'm so sorry, Bella," he finally said, my eyes opening to meet his. His head shook back and forth, and his voice broke. "I just…can't."

**O.o**

**Sigh…oh, Edward. **

**Won't you review? **


	13. Chapter 13

**Special thanks, as always, to ginginlee, lizzylillyrose, morethanmyself, and even sammielynnsmom this time around. I love all of you guys. And did you guys see the pic tease that illicitwriter made for this chapter? Wasn't it amazing! She's making one every week, so huge thanks to her! **

**So, the last chapter got 41 reviews…41! That's HUGE for me! Thank you, seriously, for everyone who reviewed. I know you all are worried about Edward, but let's take Emmett's advice from the last chapter and not be too quick to judge Edward's motives. And as I said before, this fic will have a very well earned happily ever after, but we're only on chapter 13…let's give these guys time to figure out their mess. **

**Stephenie owns Twilight, Deana owns the song, I got Rachel. I think I got the shit end of the deal there. **

**Chapter 13**

**1987**

"Bella!" _Not this again. _"BELLA, BELLA, BELLA!"

"Uncle Charlie, seriously, too early."

"Bella, come on! The sun's a risin', baby!"

"There should be a rule, Uncle Charlie, if the sun has yet to completely rise in the sky, if the birds have yet to sing their pathetic song of choice, you should not be allowed to even enter my bedroom or say my name," I grumbled, tucking my head further under the pillow.

"Bella Swan, you are wasting a perfectly good morning huddling up in this bed of yours." His southern accent seemed especially thick today.

"Does it even count as morning yet?" I complained, noticing how the moon was still very prominent in the _night _sky.

"It was officially morning as of eight minutes ago."

"And that would make the time...?"

"5:38."

"Oh, dear God."

"Now, you get your pretty little self out of bed, put on some decent clothes - none of those Daisy-Duke shorts again - and get your bottom downstairs! I made eggs for breakfast."

"Eggs? Again? Shocker."

"Mouth, Bella."

"Yeah, yeah." I completely disregarded his attempt at discipline, and I rolled back over, adamantly set on going back to sleep. I was thankful he made breakfast, but it was just _so early._

I heard some crashing going on downstairs; the cupboards must have angered the old man or something...he usually wasn't this violent. I couldn't help but wonder if he was still upset about yesterday. I did kind of spring mine and Edward's date on him. I should have felt bad...he did say I wasn't allowed to date him. But, really, what did he expect? He practically caused this himself, having Edward teach me to ride a horse, working side-by-side in that hot barn for all those hours. _Seriously, Charlie...this is your own doing._

I tried as best I could to go back to sleep, but I had to go and think of Edward working - I did mention that it was side-by-side, right? My side by his shirtless side.

Maybe I was more awake than I thought.

"BELLA!" Charlie yelled again.

"You're going to have an aneurysm before your time if you don't quit your yelling!" I yelled back, just as loud, from underneath the same pillow on my precious bed.

"You're eggs are turning green!"

"Ugh." I looked back at the clock, and it read 5:52. _Might as well start my day_. Maybe if I was lucky, Edward would be here soon. He was almost a better caffeine fix than my beloved black coffee.

I tried to dress modestly, really I did, but my options were very limited in that department. Renee was my mother, after all. My boots were the same ones I had worn every day out in the barn, so I was way past my embarrassment where that was concerned. I stared at my shorts-collection, wondering which ones would be best, before I realized exactly what I was doing.

Was I the kind of girl who actually worried about what I was wearing? God, I hoped not. Out of self-inflicted anger, I grabbed the pair of jean cut-offs that sat on top of the pile and glided them up my bare legs. My next choice in my outfit was really just to get Charlie going. I wondered what he would say when he saw me in this...

This was what he got for telling me to lose the Daisy-Dukes.

I made my way slowly down the stairs, fixing my hair in a pony-tail in the process. "Hey, Uncle Charlie, I..."

"Hey, Bella." A very sly smile appeared on Edward's face as he stood in the entry way of the kitchen, his eyes taking in every inch on my under-covered body.

"Edward..."

"BELLA!" Charlie yelled as he stepped from around the corner. "This is not a porn-movie audition!"

Edward laughed, and I winked at him in return. Yeah, so my plan might have backfired with him here, but it wasn't anything he hadn't seen already.

"Relax, Charlie. It's called a sports-bra. It's nothing to lose your cool over." I readjusted the lime green material as I witnessed my uncle turn and unhealthy shade of red.

"A BRA!"

"They're actually quite in style now, Mr. Swan," Edward quipped, still looking at all the skin I left exposed.

I was certain that if Charlie could have gotten away with killing him, he would have.

"I ran out of shirts." I shrugged innocently, walking past both of the boys to where my breakfast still sat in the skillet on the stove. "Besides, Edward doesn't wear a shirt when we're working."

Edward's eyes shot to mine then, shaking his head as if I was supposed to keep that a secret.

"What?" I shrugged again, my mouth full.

"I...your mother...damn-it," Charlie stuttered, finally giving up and storming out of the kitchen.

I starting laughing as I heard the back door slam shut.

"Bella, Bella, Bella," Edward repeated, a smile on his beautiful, _very familiar _lips as he stepped my way. "Are you trying to get me fired?"

"Honestly," I started, swallowing my food first, "I had no idea you were down here. That was Charlie's punishment for waking me up at the ass-crack of dawn."

His laugh filled the kitchen. "I think he's never been happier that he never had kids."

"I told you, I'm a handful."

He looked down at my body then. "Oh, that you are."

I threw my fork at him. "Edward!" I laughed as he stepped further still, coming up and pressing my back against the counter. He took the skillet that I was eating directly out of and placed it on the surface behind me.

"Yes?" he asked innocently, his face only inches away.

I smiled and took a deep breath, my skin prickling from his proximity and the memories from the night before. "I hope you're not trying to kiss me," I warned, glad that I had already brushed my teeth before coming down here.

"And why is that?" His hands circled around my waist, and his thumbs lightly stroked the bare skin of my back.

"I think you ran out of your permission slips yesterday." Really, the fact that he had yet to run from my ridiculous form of humor was an accomplishment of its own.

"I have a few left." He chuckled, his face moving in closer, his nose skimming against my flushed cheek.

"A few?"

"Mmm-mmm," he hummed, kissing my neck then.

"I think you'll need more than that," I stammered as he placed a kiss below my ear.

"Oh, I hope so, too," he finally said right before he pressed his lips to mine.

"BELLA!" Charlie's voice broke us out of whatever trance I had succumbed to with Edward, and he broke away, smiling that charming Masen smile of his.

"Maybe getting you fired wouldn't be such a bad thing; we would be a lot more productive," I joked, causing Edward to laugh.

"I better not get fired over you, little Bella. My college fund is dependent on this little shin-dig I got goin' on here."

I smiled up at him but huffed out as if I were exasperated. "Okay, okay, I won't tell the old man to cut you loose today, but keep up the kissing without the proper documentation, Mr. Masen, and I might have to re-evaluate my thinking."

He leaned in to kiss me again. "It would be worth it."

We heard Charlie climb up the steps to the back porch, so we both decided some physical separation would benefit everyone in that moment.

"I'm going to go change," I voiced, walking out of the room and jogging up the stairs.

"Where's Bella?" I heard Charlie ask from downstairs.

"Do you want the truth or a safer version of the truth?" Edward asked point-blank, and I was surprised that Charlie didn't punch him for it.

"You're lucky I like you, kid," Charlie responded, causing Edward to laugh.

"She went to put clothes on."

"Good. And, just so we're clear, I never, and I mean never, want to hear those words stumble out of your mouth ever again. There is absolutely no reason that Bella should ever have to go and get dressed after being alone with you. My niece in a state of 'undress' shouldn't even be words in your vocabulary, nor passing thoughts in your head. Do you understand, boy?"

"Uncle Charlie, please stop harassing him," I pleaded as I came back down the stairs. "This was my little stunt; he had nothing to do with it. I didn't even know he was here!"

Charlie looked over at me and noticed my new set of clothes. It wasn't much better - only a tanktop thrown over my sports bra - but it was better than before. He seemed to relax some and took a step back from Edward. I would have expected Edward to look at least a little scared, but, really, he just looked amused.

"Are we ready to get working or what?" I asked cheerfully, trying to divert the subject a little bit.

This caused Charlie to sigh and re-group his thoughts. His hand came up and rubbed over his tired looking face. Okay, maybe I should ease up on him a little bit. I was being pretty cruel, and he was trying. To make up for my actions, I walked over to him and threw my arms around his waist, squeezing him tight.

"I love you," I said, resting my head on his chest and meaning my words.

He patted my back awkwardly.

"I'm not letting you go until you hug me back." I couldn't see his face, but I was sure he had to at least smile at that one. He was a sucker for my tricks, after all.

"No hugging before noon," he declared.

"Yeah, well you're not supposed to wake me up before eight am, but we're both breaking the rules now." I squeezed him tighter. "Come on, Uncle Charlie. Just do it. Do it, do it, do it," I chanted.

Finally, he laughed and hugged me back.

"So, am I forgiven?" I asked very sweetly after I had released my death grip.

"Forgiven but not forgotten," he tried to warn seriously.

It took all of my might not to roll my eyes. Instead, I smiled up at him and nodded. "Okay, deal."

"Now, we wasted good time with hugs and nakedness this morning. We have work to do!"

I looked over at Edward, who was still pressed up against the counter, watching our exchange with a smile on his face, and he winked at me as our eyes met. "You ready to get to work, Edward?" I asked borderline sarcastically, way too much enthusiasm in my voice for that early in the morning.

"Work with the two of you? I vote for more hugs and nakedness."

I laughed and Charlie groaned, stomping out of the kitchen for the second time that morning.

**O.o**

"Where are we going?" I asked from the passenger side of his blue truck as we pulled out of Uncle Charlie's driveway. The old man was still standing on the front porch, hands on his hips and a scowl on his face. It was late afternoon now, and Edward had asked if he could take me out for a little while. Charlie didn't have a reason to object, but he still didn't look happy about it.

"You know, I'm getting pretty tired of that question." He looked over at me, smiling, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

"If you would just tell me, I would be a lot less annoying."

"I don't find you annoying," he stated earnestly, his eyes focusing back on the road ahead of us.

"Oh, you just wait." I tried to get my voice to sound serious, but I couldn't help but chuckle at my own words. "I'm worse than a younger sibling or a petulant two-year-old."

He laughed and just shook his head. "And why are you telling me this, exactly?"

"Fair warning, that's all. I plan on asking where were going plenty more times until you eventually tell me. I even know how to say it in different languages."

"Oh yeah?"

"Qui. Where-o are-we-o going-o, homme?"

"That…no, that was just awful."

"Annoying, though, right?"

"Not annoying enough." He turned his head slightly to wink at me.

"Dang-it."

He reached over and took my hand, intertwining our fingers together so they rested on the top of my thigh. "Don't worry, Bella-French-wannabe, we'll be there soon enough."

"I can't believe you didn't even let me shower." I kept my arms glued down to my side, awkwardly holding onto Edward's hand at the same time, very embarrassed that we had worked hard all day, and I was a sweaty mess.

"I didn't get to shower, either," he tried to placate me.

"Yeah, and you smell bad." I laughed, causing him to roll his eyes.

"It's not like you smell like sweet strawberries, either, my dear one."

"That's because you wouldn't let me bathe! I tried…I happen to like my hygiene. Spell it out with me, Edward, hygiene – h-y-g-i-e-n-e!"

"Don't be so worried about it." He chuckled, bringing our joined hands to his lips so he could press a kiss to the back of mine.

I smiled and maybe – just maybe – giggled a little bit.

"Oh no," he said, shaking his head.

"What?" I shrugged.

"You're a giggler. No, no," he repeated in mock horror.

"Do you have something against my giggling?"

"Yes, very much so. There should be a rule: no giggling allowed."

"There should be another rule: Bella should be able to shower before we go out."

He just laughed again. "I plan on distracting you from your smelly self, relax. You won't even notice it."

"You must have a pretty spectacular plan if you want to accomplish that feat."

He just smiled, and I leaned back in my seat, turning my head to look out the window at the quickly passing view. Just a few minutes later, his truck turned left down a gravel road, and a large park came into view. There were a couple baseball diamonds near the entrance, but as we kept driving, I could see a large playground area.

There was a baseball game in progress on one of the fields, and there were families in the stands surrounding, but besides that, the park seemed deserted. After we parked, Edward came over to my side and took my hand, leading me through the gate and over to where the swings were.

"Are you going to push me?" I laughed, running slightly ahead of him to pick out my swing. I sat down excitedly, facing him as he stood off a few feet, looking at me with an exceptionally large smile on his face. His hands now were buried deep in his pockets, his shoulders relaxed, and his head tilted just a tad.

"What?" I asked, confused as to why he was just standing there staring at me.

"Nothing." He shook his head, his smile not faulting. "I just want to remember this image. I never want to forget what you look like right now."

I could feel my cheeks blushing, but I didn't tear my gaze from his. "And why is that?" I dared to ask, pushing my feet beneath me slightly so the swing would start moving.

"You just look so…innocent." His grin turned into more of a smirk.

"I think carefree is a better description," I offered, smirking along with him. "But this place really is lovely, Edward. There's a park just like this back home. My mom always took me there growing up. Did you know I even used to play softball?"

This made Edward laugh, and he took a couple more steps in my direction. "No way." His head shook back and forth, and he looked at me as if I were crazy.

"Oh yeah, I was really good. Even made it to the All-Star team a couple of summers." By now, he was close enough that when I would swing in the air, he would push at the bottom of my bare-feet, already having kicked off my flip-flops when I sat down on the swing.

"I just cannot picture you throwing a baseball."

"I handle balls quite well, actually," I corrected, even though I realized my mistake as soon as the words left my mouth. It took Edward off guard, too, because instead of using his hands to push my feet back, I accidentally kicked him in the face. "Edward!" I yelled, stopping the swing quickly and rushing over to him. He was crouched over, his nose in his hands.

"Are you bleeding? Are you okay?" I asked, tugging at his wrists so I could get a better look at the damage.

"Oh, Bella." He shook his head back and forth, still staring at the ground, and he grunted, "You're going to kill me one of these days."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

He was still bent over, one hand resting on his knee now as he tilted his face up to look at me. But when our eyes met, he smiled again. "A good thing. Definitely a good thing."

"So I think pushing me on the swing was bad idea number one." I tried to laugh, but with him still bent over like that, it was a little forced.

"A bad idea for my face, at least. How about we both swing? I think that's a much safer option."

I silently agreed and went back over to my swing, and Edward sat down in the one beside me, but he faced in the opposite direction so our faces were just slightly facing each other when both the swings were still. I pushed with the bottom of my feet so I had some movement, enjoying the breeze that was created when I went back and forth. It was relatively quiet; the baseball game created most of the noise, but it was far enough away that we couldn't hear it well.

"I'm surprised more people aren't here," I commented.

"Yeah, it's a little deserted, isn't it?" he added causally, twisting the chains of his swing together so he was going in circles.

"If I had a family, I would bring my kids here all the time."

I looked to my right at Edward as he smiled at me. "And why is that?"

"I don't know." I laughed awkwardly. "Does this not seem like the perfect family spot to you? The picnic tables, the empty field over there, the playground…this place just screams family-friendly."

Shaking his head, laughing lightly, he said, "I honestly love how much thought you put into things."

"Meaning?" I asked, squinting my eyes and tilting my head. "That wasn't an insult, right?"

"No, Bella." He continued to chuckle beneath his words. "You're just super insightful."

"Ah, yes," I rolled my eyes, "my epic insightfulness. I would totally chalk that up to my ability to see the future or read minds and shit, but, yeah, I totally can't do either of those things."

He laughed, louder this time and joked, "Reading minds? You should learn that trick…that sounds pretty cool."

"As temping as it is to know everything that's going on in that super-cute head of yours, Edward Masen, I would much prefer to keep my thoughts away from the perverted junk you got going on up there." I wasn't really swinging by this point, more of just swaying back and forth while Edward continued to twist his swing in circles beside me.

"Perverted?" he asked in mock horror. "I have been nothing but a gentlemen every moment we've been together! Not without effort, trust me," he added on at the end with a gruff laugh and a quick roll of his loaded blue eyes.

"Southern gentlemen, yes, you've explained that to me once. But I was talking about your thoughts, not your actions. But if you want to tell me that they're all holier-than-thou, be my guest," I challenged with a smirk firmly in place. It was his turn to blush now, and I quite enjoyed seeing the tips of his ears become scarlet while his eyes stayed glue at his feet in the mulch.

After a few moments of Edward stewing in his own awkwardness while I laughed to myself, completely at his expense, of course, he looked up at me with a sinister look across his face.

"Do you not approve of my respectful behavior, Ms. Bella?" His smooth, deep voice seemed to go even lower as he asked, his eyes no longer full of embarrassment but direct challenge as they narrowed ever so slightly, boring into mine with a solid purpose.

"Again, I was commenting on your thoughts, not your actions," I voiced, mine not being nearly as powerful as his.

"I think you were hinting towards my actions," he hedged slowly as he untwisted his swing.

"Now you're just being presumptuous." I really did try to keep my voice strong and steady, but with the way he was looking at me, it seemed impossible.

He was standing now, practically stalking the few feet over to my swing, once again standing in front of me. His tan calloused hands griped onto the chains my seat was attached to, resting a short distance above where I gripped them with my own hands. His arms flexed beneath the flimsy sleeves of his t-shirt, and I couldn't help but notice the defined lines and veins in his forearms that were at either side of my face.

Tipping his head closer to mine, bending at the waist to get to my sitting level, he whispered, "I don't think I am, Bella. Actually, if I'm judging you correctly – but forgive me if I'm wrong; I'm no mind reader – I think you want in on my thoughts…the less holier-than-thou thoughts, to be exact."

I lifted my chin a tiny bit so I could look at him directly. He was less than a foot away from me, close enough that I could see his long black lashes outline his piercing eyes. "Is that what you think?" I whispered.

"Is that what you want?" he whispered back.

I took a deep breath. "How about this," I offered. "As much as I love your southern charms, I could use a bit of risk in my life…a little excitement, if you will."

He looked back and forth between my eyes, trying to judge how serious I was, before he answered, "Whatever makes the lady happy."

I smiled then, loving his little southern sayings. "We only have one summer, Edward. Why don't we make the most of it?"

He smiled back at me, straightening up a little bit. "That sounds like a challenge, Ms. Swan." He laughed.

"Are you accepting?" See, I could be sly, too.

He looked at me, but he didn't speak. I felt my heart beating in my chest, the heat from the humid summer air on my skin, the pieces of small wooden bits beneath my feet.

Finally, a smirk rose on his lips, eventually turning into a full grin. "Remember how I said you were going to kill me one of these days?" He shook his head, laughing. "Exhibit A."

I sat still for the moments it took Edward to regain himself. I watched as he shook his head to clear his thoughts and take a deep, full breath.

"Do you want to get out of here?" he asked me, reaching his hand forward for me to take.

I responded by giving him my hand, and he pulled me to my feet. I slipped my sandals on and started walking, with Edward leading the way. His fingers stayed wrapped in mine, and I loved it, feeling the back of his forearm brush against my own. I wanted people to see this – see me with Edward, Edward with _me._ When I was younger, I used to envy the older girls I saw in relationships. I was jealous that they were wanted so much by someone that the guy would actually do something like hold their hand in public. It was a ridiculous little-girl notion, but I couldn't help but smile that it was me now – I was that girl.

"What are you thinking about?" Edward asked as we neared the parking lot.

I laughed. "It's just something that I would probably giggle over if I spoke it aloud; you wouldn't want to know."

"Oh, God, not the giggles again." He rolled his eyes, but I could still see the smile on his face.

"I'll save you from the horror." I squeezed his hand and pressed myself to him just a bit more. "You're welcome."

"Bella, I…"

Right as Edward was starting to talk, a group of motorcycles came whipping through the parking lot, screeching to a halt a little bit too close to Edward and me for my comfort. Instinctively, Edward let go of my hand but used the arm instead to push me behind him, acting as a shield of protection from the bikes – or the people who rode them. His shoulders were suddenly tense, and he seemed to stand taller.

"What's going on?" I asked quietly from behind him as the three guys got off their bikes.

"I'll explain later," he responded just as quietly, but his tone was ice.

"Edward, Edward, Edward. What is my little angel doing out so late? Won't Daddy Masen be wondering where you are?" one of the boys mocked, taking off his helmet and tucking it beneath his arm.

"What the hell do you want, man?" Edward asked, his voice strong, challenging.

"Tisk, tisk, Eddie…language!" The tan boy just laughed, and it sent a wave of anger through me.

"I don't need to listen to this; come on, Bella," Edward prompted, turning us around to walk the rest of the way to his truck.

"Oh, look at that, Edward has a girl with him! _Surprise, surprise!_"

This caused Edward to go rigid again, and his footsteps faltered, but he kept on walking after the split second anyway.

"What's your name, pretty thing? You don't look like his usual type. Must be giving him something _real_ good for him to be taking you out." The boy just laughed, and the guys behind him joined in his menacing vibrations.

However, this caused Edward, who was trying so hard to keep his cool, to lose it, and he shot around, letting go of my hand completely as he stepped forward. "I seemed to remember, Jacob, that the last time you tried to start shit, I beat your face in. So I highly suggest you watch your mouth before it reconnects with my fist."

This boy just shrugged again, not at all feeling threatened. I took it to being his safety net of the boys behind him. I really didn't feel like watching Edward being attacked by three guys, so I stepped forward, grabbing his arm.

"Edward, come on. Let it go. He doesn't bother me; I don't care. Come on, please." I begged, pulling at his elbow with all my might, but Edward hardly budged. He didn't even turn to look at me; his stare was shooting holes at this kid that was now only a couple feet away, at best.

"Listen to the girl, Eddie. Walk away."

"Please, Edward. We were getting out of here, remember?" I tried to allude to our earlier conversation, but it wasn't working.

"Bella, go wait in the car."

"Yeah, _Bella,_ this might get ugly," the boy sneered back, looking at Edward with just as much hate as Edward was looking at him.

_Okay, enough, _I decided.

"Are you guys serious right now?" I yelled, walking around Edward to step between them. Being in front of Edward was enough to finally draw his eyes away from the pack of idiots that decided to ruin our party. "Honestly. This is a park, with _families,_" I emphasized, "and all four of you are acting like children. If you have a problem with each other, fine, but this is not the place to deal with it. Now, before I call the cops on all your asses, I suggest you back off." I was turned now, facing the dirty rats. The one in front just looked at me with an amused look on his face.

"Feisty," he remarked, causing all three of them to laugh again.

"Bella, go to the truck," Edward demanded again.

I turned to face Edward then, putting my hands on his chest. "Walk away," I shot back.

He glanced down to meet my eyes for a second before he raised them back to the others.

I pushed harder, causing him to actually take a step back. "Edward," I growled. "Now. This isn't funny."

"Listen to the woman, Eddie."

"Oh shove it," I turned around and yelled to the smug looking bastard.

"Get to the truck or I'm using the pay phone to call Charlie to come pick me up," I finally threatened, causing Edward to take a deep breath.

"Fine," he muttered, whipping around and taking my hand, dragging me back.

He opened my door so I could climb in before he went around to his own side. I looked over and the other guys were still standing there, but the one in the middle who had started the drama to begin with looked different…more resigned instead of angry, thoughtful almost.

"Who were they?" I asked as Edward backed out of the space and drove through the lot. He was still vibrating with anger, and I wasn't sure if any of it was directed at me.

"I could have handled them, Bella," he shot. Oh yes, so some was indeed because of my little antics.

"I really didn't feel like dealing with a bloody mess," I countered. "Besides, I already did enough damage to your face earlier. Any more impact and it might shatter." I tried to keep my voice light, but it wasn't helping dissolve his anger any.

He just pounded on the steering wheel a few times. If I wasn't so distracted on how to fix this, I would have taken note on how good he looked while steaming with anger like he was. Okay, so maybe I did take note of it. The cab of the truck seemed to vibrate with the tension, though, and I haven't known Edward long enough to know what to do to relax him. So, I did the next best thing. Instead of being mad at me, I made him focus on who else he should be mad at.

"How do you know that guy?" I asked, turning to look at him.

He just growled, hitting the wheel again.

"Remember that time I told you I couldn't read minds…" I hedged, and this actually made him lift the corner of his mouth, even if it was just the smallest smile.

"I've known Jacob since I was a kid," he answered as his focus was heavily set on the road ahead of us.

"He was delightful," I remarked, rolling my eyes.

"He didn't used to be that bad," he responded, almost sadly.

"What happened?"

A large sigh escaped him this time; at least it was better than the beating he was giving the interior of his truck. "Jake and I used to be really close growing up. But after his dad skipped town, he kind of just lost it. His mom is a raging alcoholic, and Jake thinks he's entitled to take his problems out on everyone who ever tried to care for him, as if the world owed him something for being shitty." There was obvious resentment in his voice, but I wondered just how deep it went.

"I'm sorry you lost your friendship with him," I offered kindly, losing all the earlier sarcasm.

He scoffed. "It's more than that, Bella. Jake's just fucking crazy! Unstable. God, he pisses me off," he continued to rant.

As much as I wanted to get into that history right now, I figured it probably wasn't the best thing. With the anger seemingly forgotten where I was concerned, I gently pried Edward's right hand from the steering wheel and wrapped it between both of mine.

"So," I began. "That field that we went to yesterday…how far of a drive is that from here?"

Edward smiled now and looked over at me briefly. "Not too far."

"Good, because there's something I want to talk to you about."

**O.o**

**End Notes**

**I hope you guys caught everything in that chapter…**

**Please review! I know it will be hard to top 41 reviews, especially since ch 12 ended in a cliff, but can we try? Love y'all! **

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**You're going to review, right? …**


	14. Chapter 14

**Thank you so much to ginginlee for being absolutely amazing and beta'ing this chapter. She catches all of my mistakes and is like my own personal thesaurus! **

**Thanks to people who preread and gave wonderful advice: lizzylillyrose, sammielynnsmom, morethanmyself, and sparklingtwilight. I struggled a lot with this chapter, and they really helped me through, so lots of love to them. **

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**For everyone who is rec'ing this fic, sincerest thanks! I'm so glad you love this crazy story enough to tell others. For those of you reviewing, I love reading your thoughts! It still blows my mind about how much love this story is getting, so thank you again! And all my other lovely readers, thanks for sticking along for the ride!**

**So, last adult chapter ending with a cliff, here is your resolution!**

…

_He slowly started walking over towards me, seemingly like an eternity for him to get just a foot away. I could smell him then – he smelt like ash, his job lingering on his skin. His blue eyes were looking intently in mine, trying, it seemed, to communicate through them alone._

_His hand that didn't hold the paper that held our fate rose to my face. His fingers gently stroked my cheek, causing my eyes to flutter shut. I sighed, leaning into his touch, goose bumps appearing on my overheated skin. Was this it? Was he going to kiss me? Was I finally going to experience his lips on mine again?_

_"I'm so sorry, Bella," he finally said, my eyes opening to meet his. His head shook back and forth, and his voice broke. "I just…can't._

**O.o**

**Chapter 14**  
**2010**

"Can't?" My voice seemed to catch in my throat, my muscles automatically tensing at his rejection.

He brought his forehead to rest on mine, holding my face in both of his hands now. I felt trapped, drowning in his presence. "Bella," he started again, but I shook my head, even though the movement was resticted – he just held me tighter.

"What do you mean 'can't'? I thought…I thought, um, well, okay then," I tried to keep my words at an even tone, but it was incredibly difficult with the crushing threat of tears so imminent.

"Bella, listen to me." By now, I was pressed almost directly against his body – not by my will, but his hold – as he continued to pull me closer, almost trying to crawl under my skin. "Do you remember what it was like when I would kiss you? Because I do. I remember all of it…well, the amount my old-age will allow me to remember. But, Bella, life was so simple then, so easy. Things were so much less complicated. I didn't have a family…I didn't have a wife." His words trailed off, sadness and sorrow laced through his tone at the mention of Rachel.

"Your wife," I spoke softly as I released a gust of air. "You're still married." The realization dawned on me like a ton of bricks. Suddenly, I felt sick, just knowing that I was doing even a fraction of what Alice had done to me.

My eyes were closed, but I felt his head nod against mine.

"I've spent so many years thinking that any hope for a life with you just wasn't possible in this lifetime, that we made too big of a mistake somewhere along the way that it just wasn't meant to be for us. And yeah, I got married, but my life doesn't end because of my marriage. I loved Rachel, truly I did, but I don't remember my heart racing the first time I grabbed her hand. I don't really remember sweating with anticipation every time I saw her. She was never you. But even though I'm not going to be married to her for much longer, I can't be the kind of guy who cheats on his wife, no matter how far gone the marriage is or how innocent the kiss might be.

"Please tell me you understand…"

I stepped back from him, forcing him to let go of me. I lifted my head, my eyes meeting his. He looked so defeated, slumped over and heart-broken. "I do," I voiced. "I'm sorry I was so forward…I shouldn't have…"

"Bella, stop." He took a step towards me again, grabbing onto my wrist that lay at my side. I wanted to take another step back, but I was too selfish; I wanted this touch from him.

"I'm not dense, Bella; I know that we're both different people now. I know that life has changed you, messed with you even, and that realistically, it has done the same to me, but I won't discount how you still take my breath away, how, even right now, my palms are sweating, just being around you. I won't overlook the fact that I haven't been able to stop thinking about you, or how whenever I hear you laugh, it makes my day.

"You're not the girl I fell in love with anymore, but, God, this sounds so ridiculous…I want you, Bella. I want to feel what it's like to fall in love again.

"_That_ summer, I had my whole life planned out, every detail carefully organized into what I thought I wanted it to be. My priorities were set in a straight line and were practically untouchable. I wanted what I wanted, and I went after it…and it absolutely fell to shit! It took me until it was too late to figure out that my priorities were all wrong, but by then you were already gone. By some miracle, I seem to have another chance with you, Bella. The timing just isn't perfect yet."

I took a deep breath; my mind felt like it was swimming in the new information that Edward was providing. _But as long as we were being honest…_"You know, some days I feel like I never grew up," I admitted, since we were throwing our baggage on the table and all. "I look in the mirror, and I'm shocked to see me in this body. I find myself questioning where my life went, how time could have possibly passed so quickly. It feels wrong. I still feel like a teenager, making mistakes and in fear of getting in trouble. I swear I keep feeling like Charlie is going to yell at me for breaking curfew." I breathed out a short laugh, and when I looked up at Edward, he was smiling, too.

"God, I know the feeling." He sighed, sitting down, cross-legged, on the floor of the barn. I decided to follow, and I sat down beside him, a couple inches separating our knees. "It was like all of a sudden my acne was replaced by wrinkles and sun spots. I don't know which one is worse!"

"Always so worried about your looks," I joked, rolling my eyes.

He playfully hit my knee. "Well, you never know when the love of your life is going to come back into the picture." I knew that he was still joking, but as soon as the words left his mouth, my face froze. I turned my head to the left just enough to look at him, but his eyes were watching his fingers as they played the laces of his boots, the tips of his ears bright red.

"God, getting old is a bitch," I muttered, hoping that it would break the sudden tension that filled the space between us. We had too much to hash out before we could confront any "love of your life" ideas.

"You have _no _idea." He shook his head now, finally smiling again.

"That's right," I mocked. "You are older than me, aren't you?" I laughed as he threw a small rock at my shoulder.

"Laugh it up, Bella. Man, if I wasn't intending on wooing you again in the near future, I would have some very not nice things to say in rebuttal."

"Oh, whatever, Edward. You've got nothin'!" Even though, a smile came to my face and my heart warmed at the thought of him pursuing me again. It was absolutely impossible to turn down the charms of a Masen.

I couldn't help but think that what was happening right then was some kind of transition. I had been here for a few weeks now, and we both had danced around each other, executing our carefully constructed movements, testing the waters. It was overwhelming but exhilarating, getting back into each other's lives. And in moments like these, it felt like I never even left, never grew up. I still felt seventeen, but that scared me, too. Sitting here with Edward was amazing, liberating, but as an adult, there was still the hesitance present, as there should have been. There was a lot more to this than just me and him now.

Taking a second to sit back and think about this past day, my talk with Emmett, _this_ moment with Edward, had given me some clarity. Yes, it was exciting to rush to the station in search for a kiss from him, but it was also a bit childish, too. We need to be mature in this; both of us did.

I was still looking at him in the following silence, but as he turned his head in my direction, something in his eyes changed, his face getting serious. "God, I want to kiss you," he whispered, looking at my lips.

"I think I was rushing things when I left that note on your bed at the station," I blurted out. His eyes rose and meet mine, a look of slight panic on his face. I was on such a high after I had met with Emmett; I felt invincible, untouchable. Now being here with him, realizing that this was _Edward,_ not just my imagination Edward but Edward in the flesh, my guard was building, remembering what it was like to be rejected, remembering everywhere we went wrong. "I don't want to mess it up again. I remember all too clearly what it felt like the first time."

He sighed and rubbed his hand down the length of his face, closing his eyes and taking another deep breath. "Yeah, I get that, too."

"Especially now because you have kids involved." I couldn't keep the vision of Lana sitting in the truck, refusing to come inside during the storm, out of my mind.

"Ah, the demon-children." I swatted his arm, and he laughed. "Kidding, kidding. I love my spawn very much."

"They adore you," I stated honestly. "And most of all, they trust you."

He nodded solemnly. "That they do."

"If we're going to do this, Edward, it has to be done in baby-steps, for everyone's sake." I felt better after telling him this, knowing that we both had to address every detail before we went anywhere.

It took a minute to think about what I was saying, and he finally went to answer, but when he did, it looked like he was in a lot of pain to even say the words. "Can I ask you something, Bella?"

"Um, sure, of course you can."

He turned to meet my stare again. "I need to know something before I allow myself to commit to this with you…it's a deal breaker for me, actually."

"Oh…okay." My heart, which had been beating so rapidly this whole time, seemed to stop. I was pretty sure I stopped breathing, too.

"You, being here… is this a permanent thing?"

"What?" I shook my head, clearing the rise of emotions that seemed to take over with his question.

"I won't pursue you if you plan on leaving again." His voice was so full of crippling conviction.

"Oh…um," I stuttered, trying to get my brain to catch up with my mouth, but it was difficult when my thoughts were all over the place. This had been in the back of my mind for the weeks that I had been here, but I honestly couldn't answer that question right then. I knew I needed to make a decision about where I wanted my life to go from there on out, but until recently, Edward didn't even seem like a factor. Originally, I was just going to come for a couple months, get Charlie back on his feet and maybe find him some alternate care to look out for him. Could that be me? Could I become that person for my uncle?

At that thought, I was instantly taken back to when I was a child, and my father died. Charlie gave up his life to take care of me and my mom. Even though I wasn't his child, he treated me as such, and I owed it to him to take care of him. But what about my job? Did I want to give that up? I knew that I was working away from home right now, but they only agreed to it because I had told them that it was temporary.

I thought about my friends up north, the life I had. After I graduated from Ohio State University, I decided to stay in Columbus, and over the past couple decades, I had built my life up there. I might not have had a house anymore, but it was still my home. I knew that my ex was still there, rebuilding his life with Alice, but I didn't want him to be the reason I never went back. I was done with having him be the deciding factor in where my life went or didn't go.

I looked around the barn, picturing Seth in the corner, feeding the horses. What he had said to me earlier, how he reacted to me wanting to meet his girlfriend, sent a wave of pain through my chest. From the sound of it, he didn't have a good family life. He needed support; could I be the person who supported him? And then I thought of Emmett and how good it was to see him today. I wanted to help him, knowing that he was now alone raising his daughters. I had met them a few times when they had visited Rosalie's family, and they were absolutely precious, so much like their mother.

I have spent the last ten years of my life yearning for children, for a complete family. The people around, as dysfunctional as it might have been, in some resemblance could give me that.

And then there was Edward. _Edward._ The idea of a future with him, a real future, sent chills across my skin. I wanted it to be an easy choice; I wanted to choose him above all else, but just like him-his life, his past, his children-I had a life of my own that I was bringing to the table, and with that came a lot more than just me and my desire for a relationship.

"Bella," Edward's voice brought me out of my thoughts, "I need you to be honest with me."

I sighed heavily again and put my head in my hands, scratching the top of my scalp with my fingernails.

"I still have a lot of things in my life to figure out, Edward." I tilted my head so I could look at him. "As wonderful as it sounds to stay here, just like how wonderful it would be to kiss me, life is just a lot more complicated now than it was back then. I can't give you a direct answer yet. I'm still trying to figure everything out myself." I shrugged my tired shoulders in defeat, but he looked at me with understanding.

"Okay," he offered. "Will you just, I don't know, let me know when you figure it out?" He didn't ask out of anger, but it was a genuine request.

I smiled and nodded. "Will you let me know when you're no longer someone's husband?"

He mirrored my actions, smiling lightly and nodding his head. "Deal."

Edward stood up from his position next to me on the floor of the barn after a couple minutes, and he held out his hand, helping me to my own feet. I brushed off the back of my jeans, which I was sure were covered in dirt, and purposefully avoided his gaze.

"So, you work out here with Seth every day?" he asked, taking a step away from me and into one of the stalls.

The image set something off inside of me. I realized in that moment that this was the first time I have been alone inside the barn with Edward in over twenty years. Suddenly, the image of him eighteen and shirtless floated through my vision, making me smile.

"Pretty much. My work doesn't keep me too busy, and I'm sure Seth likes the company. It can get pretty lonely out here by yourself."

He smiled at me and ran his hand through Jenna's mane. "Yeah, it's definitely better when you have someone helping you out."

"Can I ask you something?" I had always wanted to know the answer to this, but I never could find the courage to ask Charlie.

"Sure."

"Did you ever come back, you know, during the summers?" My voice was small like a child's, and did not match the body that I was now in. Part of me always enjoyed the thought that he never came back, that what we shared was the last chapter of that life for him. I was his ending in that one, at least, and I liked it that way.

"Once..."

"Oh." I was sure my face fell a tad, but if Edward noticed it, he didn't say anything.

"It was the summer after my sophomore year. I usually just stayed in Chapel Hill during the summers, taking courses so I was sure to graduate on time, but that summer, Emmett's parents were really struggling with the farm, and they needed an extra set of hands."

"So you didn't work for Charlie?"

He released a small laugh. "No, he fired my ass."

"What!" I exclaimed, laughing along with him. I was shocked, but even I never underestimated the craziness of Charlie Swan.

"Oh yeah." He shook his head at the memory, I was sure.

"Why? You did some pretty bad stuff when we dated, but what finally set him off?"

He kicked the floorboards then, his attention focused on his swinging leg. "I...um, Bella, we don't need to get into it." He looked guilty, and it made my heart sink a bit.

"What was it?" I asked, genuinely interested. "Come on, Edward, I'm not going to freak out on whatever you say! It was years ago!" I truly hoped my voice was light enough that he would tell me. I wasn't sure why he looked so nervous; it wasn't like I was the kind of woman that angered easily.

"I brought a girl home during Spring Break of freshmen year," he whispered, causing me to laugh out loud.

"What?" It was his turn to look confused.

"He fired you for bringing a girl home?"

"You know how protective he is of you!" he justified.

"Edward, even then, I was a big girl. And it wasn't like you were cheating on me!" I laughed some more. Charlie...oh, Charlie. What on earth was I going to do with that crazy-ass old man? "Spring Break...wouldn't that be March, April? Jesus, that was _months_ after you left for school."

He just shrugged, looking back at his boots.

"I'm sorry he did that," I said truthfully.

"You're not mad?"

I rolled my eyes, tempted to throw something at him. "Edward, I'm a sensitive soul, but I'm not unrealistic...or psychotic for that matter!" I added on at the end.

"You're a little psychotic," he added, smiling and looking up at me.

Now I really wish I had something to throw at him. "Yeah, yeah, keep it up, Masen, and see where it gets you." I was still chuckling and shaking my head as he walked back over to me.

Wrapping his arms around my shoulders, pulling me into a hug, he breathed in deeply. "I hope you know how happy I am that you're back in my life, Bella. Even if it's just as friends, or whatever it may become, I forgot how absolutely amazing you are."

His admission made me smile, and I tightened my hold around his waist. "We had a lot of fun together, didn't we?"

"We did." He stepped back and released me, but he kept his eyes on mine. "It was just...easy with us."

"Yeah." I couldn't help but think of how it was in the other serious relationships I had since Edward, trying to remember if I ever flowed this well with someone else. "I think it works because we're both a little crazy," I joked, earning a good smile from Edward.

"I get it from that uncle of yours."

"Don't we all."

"How is he doing, anyway? Any better?"

I sighed, playing with the end of my ponytail that was fallen on my shoulder. "I don't really know, Edward," I admitted seriously. "He's just so stubborn; his breathing is as bad as it has ever been, but he refuses to go to the doctors with me!"

"I think I know someone who can help us."

"Really?" This piqued my interest, and I was sure the excitement showed on my face.

"Yeah...her name is Leah. She helped our family out a lot when Emmett's wife, Rosalie, was diagnosed with cancer. Maybe we can get her over here without Charlie knowing about it and see if she can give us any insight."

"Isn't that incredibly deceitful?" The rational side of my brain voiced the sensible thought about Charlie's wishes, but the niece in me that wanted her uncle to be okay was all for the idea.

"Well, maybe a little." I raised my eyebrow at him. "Okay, a lot, but hey, this is Charlie we're talking about. His health is more important."

I sighed, knowing that he was right.

"Okay. I would really appreciate that, thank you," I said earnestly, smiling a bit sadly at him.

"Sure thing," he said in return.

The following moments were filled with awkward silence, not really knowing where to go from there. Edward was back to kicking the dirt, and I knew that was my cue to get us out of here.

"Let's go in and see how he's doing," I suggested the first thing that came to mind. "And I'm sure Seth would like to get back to work. We kind of did kick him out of his space. He has a hot date later that he needs to get home to," I edged with a bit of snarky enthusiasm.

"Oh, is that right?" Edward matched my up-beat, semi-mocking tone.

"Yeah...her name is Rebecca," I informed, laughing a bit afterwards. "He is just absolutely smitten with this girl. You should have heard him on the phone before you got here. It was gag-worthy."

"Gag-worthy, you say?" He laughed. "He must really have it bad."

We started walking out of the stables, Edward holding the door open for me to step out. "Very bad," I agreed.

"As bad as I had it?"

"I don't know...we never had the whole, 'You hang up first!' battle."

"Ah, that is bad. But to my defense, Bella, we didn't have cell phones back then. These kids have it so easy these days."

"I know it. You actually had to drive out to see me if we wanted to talk with any form of privacy. God, do you remember that time I caught Charlie listening to our phone call on the other land-line phone?"

"Do I remember? I was mortified! Scarred for life!"

"He made fun of you for a week after that!"

"Okay, look, if I knew he was listening, I wouldn't have used those nick-names. That was supposed to be for _your_ ears only."

"Okay, Agent E," I mocked, causing Edward to nudge me with his elbow. I stumbled a bit, but it didn't stop my laughter.

It felt just so good to laugh again. I really did forget how easy it was between us. All those years spent apart, I would either focus on the pain the ending caused, or I would remember all the swoon-worthy moments - our first kiss, our first date when he took me out to the field and had a picnic set up for us, the late night drives in his truck. Edward was definitely a smooth talker, and he always seemed to make my heart beat a little bit faster than normal. But lost within all the memories was how much time we spent just laughing with one another. I didn't remember it being that way with the other men I dated. Granted, there were only two serious ones in that pile, besides Edward, of course, but we never held the back-and-forth conversations that even to this day, Edward and I had.

I took my dirty boots off before we walked into the house and found Seth perched up on the couch next to Uncle Charlie, watching some sports-thing on TV.

"Okay, Seth, the barn is all yours," I said happily, causing Seth to groan loudly.

"Come on, can't I call it quits for the day?" he asked, not even bothering to look at me.

"Hold on," Charlie cut in, "am I paying you to watch baseball with me right now, boy?" he sneered.

Edward laughed at this, and Charlie's eyes turned quickly to him, winking before hardening his gaze as he looked back at Seth.

"Um..."

"Get back out there and do your job. Those horses aren't going to feed themselves."

"Yes, sir," he replied, standing up from the couch and giving me a dirty look before making his way back outside.

Charlie just laughed to himself when Seth was out of ear-shot.

"A little rough on the kid, Charlie?" I prodded, but he just shrugged.

"The kid needs good discipline, a strong, solid home. If I don't give him good responsibility, no one will."

This reminded me of the earlier thoughts that I had about Seth, and I decided now was as good of time to ask. "About that," I started, "what's going on at Seth's home? He was acting strange earlier when I mentioned him bringing his girlfriend over her to meet me."

Charlie just sighed. "I don't know if I really want to get into it now. To make a long story short, his father is an alcoholic, his mother is no better, and his older sisters skipped town the first chance they got. He doesn't have much to go home to."

"I'm glad you provide a stable environment for him," I stated earnestly, loving Charlie even more than I thought possible in that moment.

He looked at me straight in the eye then. "I love him like he was my own son, Bella. Just like I love you as my own, and even that tall hairy thing over there." He motioned to Edward who was standing behind me. "Life didn't give me a traditional family," he continued. "I just had to make one for myself."

This made me smile. _Yes,_ I thought, _he was exactly right._

"I think that's just what I needed to hear, Uncle Charlie. Thank you."

His gaze returned back to the screen. "I'm telling ya, you should write down all my fantastic quotes on life...this wisdom could make you a lot of money."

Edward and I both laughed at that. "I should listen to it more often."

"Damn right," he muttered quietly, his attention now fully back on the game.

**O.o**

"So, I have to go pick Patrick and Lana up. They got back from the beach today," Edward stated about an hour later. We were still sitting with Charlie, watching a re-run of some Superbowl game on ESPN. "Do you want to come with me?"

I was kind of surprised with his question, and I hesitated with my answer. "Is that the best idea...with Rachel and all?"

"Don't worry about it; she won't be there, anyway."

"Oh...okay, I guess so, then."

I followed him out to his truck, and being the gentleman he was, he opened the door for me and offered his hand to help me climb onto the seat. "This brings back memories." I chuckled, pulling for my seat belt.

"Don't get me started," he returned, laughing a bit as he closed the door and walked over to the other side.

I fiddled with the radio on the dashboard, and Edward changed his humming to match whatever song I picked. It wasn't dark yet, but it was late enough that the sun had started its retreat in the sky. "I forgot how pretty southern nights were," I thought out loud, causing Edward to hum in agreement.

"I guess I just take them for granted. They're all I've ever seen." His voice held a bit of sadness in it, and I couldn't help but wonder if he regretted at all how his life had turned out.

"So where are we picking the kids up from?" I asked, looking out the window, not recognizing where we were headed, and since Rachel wouldn't be there, I didn't think it would be from her house.

"I don't know if you remember Rachel's brother, James..."

"Jamie?" I asked, vaguely remembering him. He used to always try to cause problems between Edward and I, and I remembered that Edward really hated the guy. I found it extremely ironic that they became brothers-in-law.

I laughed out loud a bit at the ridiculous memories of the two of them fighting. "Didn't you hate that guy?" I spoke my thoughts aloud.

He just groaned. "I honestly wish I could say that he's better now, but he's just as bad, if not worse, than he was back then."

"And you let your children hang around him? Man, he used to always creep me out." I couldn't help the shudder that went through my body.

Edward just rolled his eyes and sighed again. "I don't have a choice. He's good with them, at least. He takes Pat to go play ball, and Lana adores him, even though I have no clue why. And it's not like I can be like, 'You should know what he did when we were kids!' That just makes me the pathetic sounding father."

The frustration in his voice made me laugh more. "Yeah, that would be pretty pathetic."

"Oh well." He sighed again. "I guess some people are just always going to be in your life, no matter how much you might despise it."

I turned my head to look out the window again, all of a sudden feeling overwhelmed with guilt. My ex-husband, no matter how much I hated it, would probably always be in my life, even if it's just a fraction. Being married to someone for fourteen years automatically made them a part of you. And I knew that if I wanted any future with Edward that I would have to tell him eventually. But how was I supposed to say the words? I had no idea how he would react. It wasn't like I just met this guy randomly in Ohio. He used to be a very integral piece in the lives of everyone here, Edward included. But right now, Edward was none the wiser, and I felt that there was a lot less pressure on the two of us if it stayed that way, at least for now.

My ex-husband didn't make me who I was. I was no less of a person because of him. I was ready to start my future without him hanging over my head, and I felt that in order to do that, I needed to keep him quiet.

I already let him break me once, but I sure as Hell wouldn't let him break whatever was about to happen between me and Edward.

**O.o**

**End Notes**

**Things will be progressing a lot more quickly for them from here on out. **

**So, Jamie can get crossed off the list. Thoughts? **

**Wont you review? **

**Love y'all! **


	15. Chapter 15

**Special thanks to ginginlee for beta'ing, and of course to all my lovely prereaders: lizzylillyrose, sammielynnsmom, and morethanmyself. And thanks to IllicitWriter for another beautiful pictease. I love all you guys a whole lot.**

**The amazing Le Crepuscule made a stunning blinkie for Strawberry Wine! The link can be found on my profile and my blog! Thank you, sweetheart! **

**Everyone who reviews, recs, and reads, you always make my day! Thank you for the continued support of this story! **

**Chapter 15**

**1987**

"Something you want to talk about? Uh oh," Edward looked at me warily from the driver's seat, "am I in trouble or something?"

"Not every time a girl says, 'We need to talk,' does it mean you're in trouble," I teased

"Well, Bella, with my very limited," he suddenly coughed conspicuously, "experience with women, 'We need to talk,' always leads to something bad…always."

"Limited experience, huh? Just how _limited_ are we talking about?" I asked mockingly.

He shrugged, turning up the dial of the radio in his truck. "So maybe limited isn't the best word," he hedged, and I just laughed in my seat.

"I see," I drawled out, "all these Masen charms work so well because they've been tested and proven on other girls." I looked over at him, smiling and raising an eyebrow accusingly.

"Tested, proven, tomato, potato," he reasoned, not looking at me.

I laughed again. "That is definitely not how that saying goes, and even if you said it correctly, it does not fit for that scenario." I was personally just enjoying seeing him squirm. Did it bother me that Edward was apparently a ladies' man? I guess, but did it surprise me? Not really. Besides, he didn't owe me anything. It wasn't like he was fooling around with anyone else this summer, at least. No…this summer was mine.

I couldn't keep the smile that came to my face at the thought that this summer, I belonged to Edward, and I got Edward in return. I rubbed the tips of my fingers back and forth across his knuckles, enjoying the rough skin of his hands. "Can I be honest for a second?" I asked, a little bit more seriously, looking over at him.

"Can it wait a few more minutes? We're here…" We pulled onto the gravel road that led to the vast, open field, and I nodded, already distracted by the beauty. It was sunset now, the deep orange and red colors painting the sky in a dramatic fashion. Edward grabbed the blanket that we had used for our picnic the day before out of the back and brought it with us as we stepped out of the truck. We walked over to the tree that sat pretty isolated in the overgrown grass, and I helped him with the blue and green fleece, taking a seat on the soft material after it was spread out on the ground. I sat cross-legged with my back against the trunk, the bark scratching against the uncovered skin of my back. Edward chose to lie out in front of me, on his back with his hands acting as a pillow.

His gaze, which was looking up, was blocked by the thick branches of the tree, but the sun still found a way to leak through the gaps, casting a glow on his tan skin, bringing out all the different colors of his hair. I picked a small dandelion that wasn't covered by the blanket and played with it in my hands, running my fingers up and down the length of the stem, providing a good distraction. When Edward turned his head to the side, I couldn't help but become momentarily short of breath. I usually wasn't so affected by his looks, but he truly was a beautiful man, and I couldn't help but sit in awe in that moment.

"What did you want to be honest about?" he asked softly, his voice serious but non-threatening.

"I just…I just wanted to tell you that it doesn't bother me if you dated a lot of girls in the past."

"It doesn't?" he asked, perplexed. The skin between his eyes wrinkled together, and there was obvious confusion in his tone.

I shook my head, but I removed my eyes from his, instead looking down at the yellow flower in my hands. "I just want to make sure that I'm the only one you want to be with right now." My voice was soft, almost unrecognizable to my own ears. I was usually so confident around Edward, always so quick to come back with witty sayings and smart remarks.

He pulled himself up so his upper-body rested on his left arm, propping him so he could be eye level with me. His other hand lie idle in front of his stomach, even though I couldn't help but wish he would have reached it out to grab mine.

"Bella," he started, "what is it exactly that you want from this summer?" He looked at me with so many emotions flitting across his face that I couldn't pinpoint one exactly.

I shrugged my shoulders, feeling the skin rub uncomfortably against the tree. "I just...come on, Edward. You know how I feel, right?" I couldn't help but think of yesterday, being here with him, him kissing me at Rachel's house on the swing, even today in the kitchen at Uncle Charlie's house. Was he really trying to get me to say it out loud?

"Well, I'm pretty sure I know how you feel." I of course noticed the smug look that now took dominance over his facial features. "But that wasn't what I asked."

"So you want to address the big elephant in the room, then?" I laughed nervously, focusing my eyes back on my yellow-flower-of-comfort.

"I'm leaving in the beginning of September," he began, "and you are too. You'll be back in Ohio," he trailed off, eyes full of sadness.

I took a deep breath, summoning all the confidence I could, and looked back up at him. "I don't want that to stop us from whatever this is, Edward," I spoke honestly. "Why don't we cast off the worries that September will bring and just focus on having the adventure of our lives?" I purposefully raised my tone at the end, trying to fit a little bit of a joking manner in there to lighten the situation.

"Adventure of our lives?" He smiled. "That's a pretty tough status to live up to. Aren't you tired of giving me challenges yet, Bella?" He laughed, finally losing the earlier tension.

"I really like you, Edward. I like just being around you."

He sat up fully now, matching my cross-legged position, and he finally grabbed my hand, forcing the dandelion to fall forgotten to the side of my leg.

"You like me?" he asked all smugly, the smirk pulling at his lips, and his eyes crinkling at the corners. He actually looked truly elated, which sparked something inside of me.

"You know...I guess." I rolled my eyes and shrugged, causing Edward to laugh and pull on my hand.

"Come here," he drawled, pulling more forcefully on my arm so I rose to my knees. I followed his lead and straddled his lap, settling down so I rested right above him, our torsos almost touching and my face only a few inches from his. His arms encircled my waist, pulling me even closer so I was fully sitting down on him now.

"Well, hello," I joked, resting my arms on his shoulders and crossing them behind his neck.

"Bella," he started, his eyes going back and forth between my eyes and my mouth, "I want this, too."

"Yeah?" I couldn't keep the cheeky grin off of my lips.

"Yeah. So, prepare yourself...you're going to want to remember this moment for years to come..."

"And why is that?" My eyes roamed from his forehead, to his cheeks, jaw, hair, and lips, avoiding the piercing stare of his blue eyes.

"Because I'm about to ask you to be my girlfriend."

I knew that if I would ever look back on this, I would make fun of myself for my ridiculous girl reaction I was having, but even I couldn't prevent the full-toothy grin that I gave him. "You are?" I asked, my voice raising a pitch.

"Mmm-hmm," he hummed, matching my smile and nodding his head.

"Okay, then." I exaggerated my moments, shook myself a bit in preparation, and took a deep breath. "I'm ready."

"Bella Swan..."

"Hmm mmm," I mimicked.

"Will you be my girlfriend?"

"Well..." I faked indifference.

"Bella," he warned, voice deep.

"Aren't you scared Charlie will kill you...fire you at least?" So this one I was kind of worried about.

"It doesn't matter," he said seriously.

"Okay," I finally stated. "Yes...if you insist," I added on at the end, not being able to help it.

He pushed on my shoulder so I fell off of his lap and onto the ground, and he climbed over my body so he was hovering above me. "You're always so difficult."

I took his face in my hands, running them up the length of his jaw and back down again. "Life is more interesting that way."

He leaned down the rest of the way to kiss me then, his lips meeting mine, even though the rest of his body kept an inch or two of space between. His mouth was soft and warm, and I knew that I could get used to this, being wrapped in this bubble of intimacy and seclusion with Edward. Even if we only had a few months to enjoy it, it would be worth it.

I was sure of it.

O.o

We left the field after it had gotten dark, it becoming too cold to stay there in the clothes we were in. Edward drove me back to Charlie's, and I couldn't help but suddenly remember what I had wanted to talk to him about in the first place.

"Hey," I voiced, breaking the comfortable silence we had in the truck.

"Hmm," he acknowledged, only glancing at me briefly before focusing back on the road.

"So, this morning, with Uncle Charlie, you were definitely a lot bolder with him! Where did that come from?"

He just laughed, scratching the back of his head. "What do you mean?"

"Oh, come on, don't by all coy. Yesterday, when you picked me up and brought me those flowers, you could barely get a full sentence out. It was 'Um, sir, hi, um, sir'." I laughed, but Edward only rolled his eyes.

"You're not seriously holding my nerves against me, are you, Bella? I've seen the shotgun Charlie keeps in his room; I'm not bullet-proof, you know," he excused exaggeratedly.

"Right, yeah, guns, scary uncle...got that. But this morning, did you suddenly not care if you got a hole through your chest?" Remembering the way that Edward spoke to Charlie, even though it was pretty funny in retrospect, I couldn't help but be nervous for his safety next time they interacted, which was on a pretty regular basis.

"Okay, so no more inappropriate comments about your lack of clothing," he mocked.

I didn't say anything, still waiting for my answer to where his sudden boldness had come from.

"Ugh," he groaned out, finally catching on to the reason for my silence. "I was just...I don't know. I didn't plan on being so forward. Just seeing you...practically naked...and at that early in the morning, come on, Bella! Can't I just chalk it up to the lack of caffeine in my system? So I wasn't thinking...sue me."

I nudged his arm with my elbow. "You can relax, Edward," I joked. "I was just curious, that's all."

"Would you rather have the stuttering, incoherent Edward instead?" he asked, raising his eyebrow quickly in my direction.

"I don't know...he was kind of cute." I laughed again, not being able to help it.

"Oh, bite me," he dead-panned, shaking his head, but even he couldn't hold back his laughter.

When we pulled up to Uncle Charlie's house, I idled awkwardly in his truck for a few moments before Edward cut the engine, opened his door, and walked around to my side. I sat there, taken off guard, as I undid my seat belt. He opened the passenger side door, taking my hand to help me get down on my own two feet. I still kept the dandelion from the field in my free hand, wanting to hold onto it, even if it was just a small reminder.

"Is this okay?" he asked as he led me up to the doorstep of the old white house.

"Why would it not be okay?" I chuckled, enjoying watching him be unsure of himself.

"I don't know...you and your northern ways. Who knows, you might be offended by this kind of thing," he joked, purposefully giving me a hard time.

"Nah, I'm not offended." I shook my head slightly back and forth, keeping eye contact with him as we stood on the porch. The light above us crackled, adding to the soundtrack of the southern night. "I would like a parting gift, though," I alluded, taking another step closer.

"Is that right?" He smirked again, finding his usual confidence as his arms encircled my waist.

With that, he brought his lips softly back down to mine, chastely keeping them together for just a few seconds.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" It was more of a question as he took a step off the porch and back into the darkness.

"I guess, if you still have a job…."

"He hasn't fired me yet."

"He hasn't shot you, either. I think we should count our blessings."

He just laughed now and shoved his hands into his pockets. "You ain't kiddin'."

Even though I would probably never tell him this, I liked when his southern accent got really deep. It just added to his charm, granted he definitely did not need any more help in that department.

"Okay, Bella, you're done." The voice of my uncle broke through our little bubble, and I turned around to see the front door open as he stood with his hands across his chest.

"Goodnight, Mr. Swan…Bella," Edward called out from the lawn, walking back to his old blue truck.

Charlie just grunted, opening the door for me to step inside the house and glaring at Edward.

I decided that it would be a good moment to give the old man a hug, knowing that even if it didn't serve the purpose of traditional sentimental hugs, it would make him feel uncomfortable enough to distract him from his distress regarding Edward.

"Did you have a good night?" I asked.

He just grunted again, shrugging me off and walking back to the living room.

"Well, I'm going to bed. I love you, Uncle Charlie!"

He barely lifted his hand in acknowledgement, but I blew it off, his behavior not able to knock the smile from my face. When I got to my room, I took the flower and placed it on my desk, taking out a piece of paper and a pen, planning on writing down the events that happened this evening.

Because Edward was right...that was definitely a moment I wanted to remember.

**O.o**

Charlie, thank God, let me sleep in the next morning, even though I was pretty certain he just didn't want a repeat of what happened the morning before. And I was sure he probably didn't want me working side-by-side with Edward again, either. I think he was finally realizing the damage that it had caused.

I looked at my clock as I turned over in my bed and noticed that it was just a little past nine. It was plenty of time to take my time, shower, and get ready for the day. I decided since I wouldn't be working out in the barn, I might as well wear something besides the muddy boots, shorts, and tanktop. I settled on a simple cotton dress, the yellow and gray flowers blending together to make a soft pattern. The material rested a few inches above my knee...modest enough to keep Charlie from having a heart attack, but nice enough that I actually felt pretty.

I slipped on my silver sandals, pushing my sunglasses through my hair so they rested on top of my head, and made my way downstairs. It was going on ten-thirty now, and I knew that coffee was needed before I went and said my hello to the boys out back.

I sat down at the table first, after my coffee was done and poured, but I wasn't really the newspaper-reading type. Lingering in the kitchen for a few minutes, I decided to screw it...might as well make my appearance. I brought the mug out with me, even though it was probably too hot to be drinking it outside with the humidity already as high as it was.

"Hi," I voiced, walking into the barn. Edward was in the stable just to my right, running a brush through the mane of one of the horses, and Charlie was down a couple, a shovel resting firmly in his grip.

"Mornin'," Charlie huffed, looking at me for only a second before getting back to work.

"Good morning," I offered to both of them, even though my attention was directed to a now smiling Edward.

"Mornin'," he matched, his tone a lot more upbeat than Charlie's had been.

"Having fun?" I mocked, taking a step closer, and I took notice of how his eyes traveled down my frame and back up again, before settling on my face.

"Workin' hard...not all of us got the luxury of sleepin' in this morning." He winked, half his mouth turned up into a grin.

I shrugged my shoulders, followed by taking a sip of my coffee. "I'm over it." I chuckled, causing him just to shake his head and get back to work.

"What time are you done?" I asked, tilting my head to the side a bit as I enjoyed another drink afterwards.

"Uh…probably two-ish." He glanced down at his watch before quickly looking at Charlie, finally settling his eyes back on mine. "You got a hot date later or something?"

"Maybe." I smiled, crossing one leg over the other. "Riley said something about taking me out…" I trailed off, laughing.

"God, don't even joke about that." Shaking his head again, he continued to stroke the brush through the horse's mane. "But I talked to Rachel the other day, said something about a beach trip this comin' weekend. Interested?"

"Beach trip? How far away is the beach from here?"

"About hour thirty…two if there's bad traffic. We probably leave Saturday morning and stay at Rach's beach house that night, come home Sunday."

"Um," I hedged, uncertain, "I'm not really sure what _he's_ going to have to say about that." I nodded my head over to Uncle Charlie.

"Y'all know I can hear you, right?" Charlie spoke aloud, not even looking at us as he continued shoveling.

"Well, um, right," I stammered, looking at Edward for a little help.

"Her parents will be there," Edward voiced, not sounding as confident as I would have liked.

Uncle Charlie sighed, taking a break at what he was doing and turned to us, using the shovel as something to lean on. The back of his left hand came up to his forehead, wiping the sweat away before it fell in his eyes. "Saturday and Sunday, huh?"

"Yes, sir," Edward answered.

"I've never been to the beach," I offered, hoping that would be enough to get him to let me go.

"Lies. Your mom, dad, and I took you once when you were a baby."

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, how about I don't _remember_ having ever been to the beach. Does that count?"

He huffed again. "I swear, child…"

"Uncle Charlie, please?" I said really sweetly, my tone soft and innocent.

"Can I still trust that you'll make good decisions?" He looked at me with pointed eyes before shooting daggers at Edward.

"You have nothing to worry about," I promised.

"Well…I suppose then."

I smiled triumphantly, honestly surprised that he agreed. Edward's smile matched mine, but he kept his head down, trying to hide it from the old man.

"I guess that's settled," I spoke happily. "However, Mr. Masen…you got any plans after work?"

I didn't miss the blush that rose in his cheeks and all the way to the tips of his ears. "Hmm…I suppose I can maybe fit you into my schedule."

I winked at him before leaving the barn and walking back into the house. "You just let me know."

**O.o**

I was reading on Charlie's couch in the living room a few hours later, enjoying the air conditioning and the storyline of my book, when the house phone rang in the kitchen. Scrambling to my feet, I raced to answer it, noticing the clock on the stove said it was just passed twelve before I picked up the receiver.

"Hello," I started, twisting the mustard yellow cord around my finger as I leaned against the counter.

"Bella?" a girl's voice sounded.

"Yes," I answered, not sure who was calling.

"Hey! It's Rachel! I asked my dad for your uncle's number; I hope that's alright."

"Oh, hey, Rachel. Yeah, that's fine. What's going on?" I asked genuinely. I really did like Rachel, but I was kind of surprised she was calling me.

"Well, we're planning a beach trip this weekend, and I just wanted to invite you. Edward said he would tell you, but I just wanted to make sure you got the message."

"Oh, yeah, he told me this morning. Charlie actually said yes, can you believe it?" I laughed, shaking my head in disbelief.

"That's great! I'm going into Raleigh this afternoon to go shopping for a few things. Do you want to come with me?"

I couldn't remember the last time I had went into downtown, and getting out of the house and spending time with Rachel really didn't seem like such a bad idea. "That sounds great. Can you hold on for a second while I go ask my uncle?"

"Sure," she agreed cheerfully.

I put the phone down on the counter, making sure it wouldn't slip off the edge, before I ran outside to the barn. Both Edward and Charlie were still back there, Edward now holding a shovel while Charlie was feeding a white horse.

"Hey, Uncle Charlie," I greeted. "Rachel just called and asked if I wanted to go to Raleigh with her today to go shopping for the trip this weekend. Is it okay if I go?"

Edward looked over and smiled at me while Charlie shrugged his shoulders. "That's fine with me. She's driving?"

"Uh, yeah, I would think so."

"Okay, just be safe and be home before dark."

"Thanks." I smiled. I turned to Edward then. "Is that okay? I know I'm kind of cancelling our plans."

"Of course it's okay. I'm glad you and Rach are becoming friends. Go have fun, and I'll see you later."

I skipped over to him and kissed his dirty cheek. "Tomorrow?" I asked, and he nodded in agreement, looking down at me with a smile before he kissed my lips softly.

"Sure thing."

I ran back to the house, putting the phone back to my ear. "Rachel?" I asked.

"Yup, I'm here."

"He said that was fine," I relayed. "What time were you thinking?"

"Great! Um, I should be over within the hour. Cool?"

"Sounds perfect."

"Great, see you then!"

I hung up after that, walking back into the living room and settling back on the couch to wait. I liked Rachel, I really did. She made me feel included.

It was about forty minutes later when I heard a horn beep out front, and I picked up my purse and keys and ran outside to meet her. Her large sunglasses covered most of her face, but she smiled at me as I settled in to the passenger's seat.

"Hey, Bella," she greeted as she put the car in reverse and pulled out of the gravel drive.

"Hey, Rachel, can I ask you a question?" I voiced right off the bat.

"Sure," she complied, turning the knob of the stereo down so she could hear me better.

"What can you tell me about a kid named Jacob?"

**O.o**

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	16. Chapter 16

**Happy 4****th**** to all who celebrate Independence Day, and thank you to the men and women who have fought for our freedom. **

**Thanks to my amazing beta, ginginlee, and my fantastic prereaders, lizzylillyrose, morethanmyself, and sammielynnsmom. Special thanks as well to IllicitWriter who makes picteases for SW every week!**

**Thank you, sincerely, for all of you who review and rec this little fic. It continues to blow me away. **

**I posted my Tsunami o/s called **_**Freshmen**_** on my ffnet page if you're interested in checking that out as well. SM still gets Twilight, and Deanna still gets the song. **

**DISCLAIMER: This chapter contains mentions of child abuse and sensitive subjects including why Bella doesn't have children. If you choose to not read that part, feel free to PM me and I can give you cliff note versions. **

…

**Chapter 16**

**2010**

Pulling up to Jamie's – or James now, rather – house brought back a lot of memories. If I remembered correctly, it was probably as large, if not larger, than the house he had grown up in. I couldn't remember what Rachel's parents had done for a living, but whatever it was, James certainly continued along their career path, judging by his property alone.

"Question," I voiced to Edward as we pulled up the drive in his truck.

"Yeah?" he responded, shifting the car to park and cutting the engine.

"James…I take it he didn't get cut off from his parents like Rachel did, but they still keep in contact with each other?" I asked, referring to James and Rachel.

Edward shrugged, his elbow coming to rest on the bottom edge of the window-pane while his curled fist supported the weight of his head. "It wasn't immediate. James wasn't happy when he found out about Rach and me, but he came around a few years later. Her dad actually passed away a couple summers ago, and her mom moved out-of-state not six months afterwards. James offered Rachel half the inheritance he got, but she refused, so he has it away for Lana and Patrick."

"Wow," I noted, truly shocked. "He doesn't sound anything like I remembered." The Jamie I had met back then had been cruel, menacing, and someone to stay away from. "He actually sounds like a good guy…"

Edward just groaned again, letting his head against the window. "He's good to my kids, but he's definitely not a saint."

"Is there something I'm missing here?" I wondered out loud, confused as to why Edward couldn't just admit that Jamie had grown up and was a decent man.

"For another time I guess," he replied after a moment, turning his head and smiling at me. "Right now, I have my babies to see."

After his comment, he opened the door and stepped out of the truck as I followed his lead and did the same. "You sure this is okay?" I asked as I jogged a few feet to catch up with him.

"Of course it's okay." That was his only response, and he didn't look at me as he said it, so I wasn't completely sure he even believed it himself.

He knocked loudly on the door, shoving his hands into his pockets as he waited. I could hear running of feet against the floor boards, and not a minute later, the door swung open to a very happy looking Patrick.

"DAD!" he yelled, literally throwing himself at Edward, who caught him readily in his arms.

"Hey, buddy!" His son wrapped his legs around Edward's torso and kept his arms tightly around Edward's neck, burying his face in the space on his shoulder. Stepping inside the threshold, he asked, "How was your trip? Where's your sister?"

Climbing off his body and back to the floor, a barefoot Patrick responded, "Dad! So fun! You'll never believe what we did! I saw a shark! A real one!"

"Oh yeah?" Edward laughed.

I awkwardly shut the door behind me as Edward talked to his son, and a few moments later, Lana came running down the steps.

"DADDY!" Following the same pattern of Patrick, Lana threw her arms around Edward, but he was kneeling on the floor this time, even though he held onto her just as tightly.

"Hey, baby," he said softly, swaying her back-and-forth a bit with his eyes closed.

If I were being honest with myself, it was still going to take me time getting used to Edward being a father. I had always wanted it for him, hell, it was something that I wanted for myself, but wanting and being were two different things. This was a permanent part of his life that I was never going to be able to relate to him with. I had no idea what it was like to be a mom, and by the looks and sounds of it, Edward was an incredible dad.

"So, a shark, huh?" he asked after Lana had taken a step back.

Lana rolled her eyes and sighed dramatically, placing her hands on her hips. "Not in the ocean, Dad," she said as if were the most obvious thing in the world. "Mom and Uncle James took us to the aquarium!"

"I never said it was in the ocean!" Patrick rebutted, glaring at his sister. "I just said it was real; it was real!"

"Okay, Patrick." She rolled her eyes again, and I had to laugh at how so much attitude could fit into such a small person.

My chuckles alerted them to my presence – even though I had been visible this whole time, they were pretty occupied with their reunion with Edward.

"Hi, Bella!" Patrick greeted without hesitation.

"Bella?" Lana addressed, her face falling as she looked between Edward and I. "What are you doing here?"

"Um," Edward started, standing up, "I was spending time with Bella at Uncle Charlie's house, and I invited her along for the ride. I thought you wanted to see Bella again…" He was looking at his daughter as he said this, and I just watched nervously from behind, twirling my fingers together as I waited for the approval from the ten-year-old girl who would always own more of Edward's heart than I ever would.

Was I okay with that? It was his _daughter, _of course I was.

"Hi, guys!" I decided to add with my voice upbeat when Lana didn't say anything. "Did you have fun at the beach?"

"It was great!" Patrick exclaimed, his arms swaying in the air for emphasis.

"My mom said you were a home-wrecking whore," Lana deadpanned, causing my mouth to go slack and Edward to whip his head towards her.

"LANA!" he admonished.

She just shrugged, crossing her arms over her chest defensively. "I'm just saying what Mom said."

"Well, hey, gang!" An overweight shirtless man with thinning hair and a tattoo-sleeved arm came strolling into the room then. "What's going on, Eddie?" He laughed after he said this, scratching his stomach as he came to a stop.

"James," Edward replied curtly, only lifting his gaze away from Lana for a second.

"Is everythin' alright?" he slurred in his thick accent, taking a hint at the tension in the room.

"Lana called Bella a whore," Patrick spoke, causing me to slap my hand to my face, covering my eyes.

"Bella? Well, damn girl, my crazy baby sister wasn't kiddin' after all."

"James," Edward warned, his voice low.

With hands raised innocently in the air, James replied, "Don't get all worked up, Eddie, I didn't say nothin'. Now come here, darlin'; it's been too many years!" He took a few steps forward and motioned for me to embrace him. _Was he serious?_ I got my answer as his sweaty arms wrapped around me. _Too close,_ I thought to myself, my eyes shooting to Edward for a little bit of help. But James didn't hug me long, and when he pulled back, he started laughing again.

"Don't worry, Bella. My sister is two notches crazy from going straight to the loony-bin."

"What's the loony-bin?" Patrick asked, looking at Lana for help.

She just raised her hand and smacked him on the back of the head, and I honestly thought Edward was going to lose his shit completely after he watched it happen. "Okay, Lana, that is enough. Both of you, go get your bags, we're leaving. And you best have apologized to your brother before you get back down here!" he ordered, no room for argument left in his voice.

Both kids ran up the large staircase, Lana mumbling something unrecognizable under her breath.

"Bella, I am so sorry." Edward had turned to face me, his face horror struck.

"Rachy didn't mean it, Eddie. She's just hurtin', you understand that, don't ya?" James tried to placate, but it didn't seem to register much with Edward.

"She needs to watch what she says to our ten-year-old daughter!" he seethed in return, low enough that the kids upstairs wouldn't be able to overhear.

He just sighed and scratched his head. "Yeah, I'll talk to her."

The sound of duffel bags tumbling down the stairs broke our attention away, and a few seconds later the kids were back.

"Ready?" Edward asked, obviously still angry.

"Yes, sir," they both ruefully answered at the same time.

"Lana, you need to apologize to Bella. You know better than to speak that way; I don't care what you heard from your mother. Do you understand?"

Without looking at me, she muttered, "Sorry, Bella."

"Say thank you to your uncle," Edward continued to instruct, this time to both Lana and Patrick.

"Thank you, Uncle James," they chorused.

"Aw, shucks, kids, you're welcome!" James gave each one a hug and a kiss on the cheek before Edward grabbed both bags and walked out of the house. "Bella," he called right as I stepped out. "Don't worry about Rachel. She's harmless as a fly."

Not really knowing what to say at his comment, I just smiled sadly at him before turning back around and walking to the truck.

"Kids in the back," Edward instructed, throwing their bags into the bed.

They were both silent as I climbed in, but luckily Edward's phone broke the thick tension with its loud ring.

"Hey," he answered, holding his phone to his hear by his shoulder so he could use his hands to back the truck out of the drive.

There was a pause before he answered, "You have no idea… Seriously? Is she okay?... Yeah, she's with me now… God, please don't get me started… Yeah, be there in ten."

I looked out the window as Edward spoke to whoever was on the other line, and Lana nor Patrick didn't dare to say a word to interrupt him. As he pressed the end button at the bottom of his screen, he turned to look at me, smiling a bit.

"So, I really hadn't planned on bringing it up like this, but Emmett just called and wants us to come over…" He looked at me knowingly, and I couldn't keep the look of embarrassment off my face. _So this was how we were going to have this conversation of how Emmett and I kind of stayed in touch over the years…awesome_.

"Okay…" I hedged, not sure if I wanted to say any more than that.

"Is that okay with you? I can take you back to Charlie's when we leave."

"Yeah, that's fine."

"But I'm taking it you've seen him already? This won't be some kind of reunion for you, will it?"

"I only saw him yesterday," I spoke honestly. "And it had been years since I've seen him last. I didn't even know about…" I trailed off sadly, hoping he would catch my train of thought about Rose without forcing me to have to say it.

"Yeah, um, I kind of figured that much, at least."

"Are we going to Uncle Emmy's?" Lana asked enthusiastically, interrupting our conversation, which I was partially grateful for.

"Can you behave yourself?" he asked back, just as sternly as he had spoken to her before.

"Yes, sir," she responded, tucking her head down.

He removed his glare from the rearview mirror and went back to watching the road. "We're only going to be there for a little while. Apparently your cousin Molly brought home a boy from school, and your uncle is trying his best not drown him in the lake out back."

"How violent," I remarked, letting it slip from my lips.

"Hey…boys that age." He glanced over to me with an incriminating smirk, and I had to literally resist the urge to smack his arm.

"You better drive faster then," I voiced back, chuckling after I said it.

We pulled up to an old farmhouse only a couple of minutes later, and Lana and Pat climbed out of the car and ran up to the door without hesitation. They didn't even bother to knock as they barged inside, causing Edward to mumble, "Manners," under his breath as he walked beside me.

Motioning for me to climb up the porch ahead of him, I walked through the door that was left open by the kids, deciding to follow the noise into the back room after an approval nod from Edward. There on the couch as we walked in to the living room was Molly crying, her older sister Anna trying to console her, and Emmett, who sat on the opposite chair with a shot gun in his hand.

"What is it with southern men and shot guns?" I asked Edward, only loud enough for him to hear me.

"It's a father's rite of passage," he responded, bending down low enough to whisper it into my ear, his hot breath running across my neck.

In a moment that happened so quickly that it took me until it was over for me to register, he glided his hand across the lower edge of my back, his fingertips applying pressure as they slid across, before he stepped beside me and further into the room. His hand burned my skin, the heat not at all hindered by the fabric of my shirt.

"Is everything okay?" he asked gravely, looking back and forth between the girls and a scowling Emmett, bringing me out of my haze.

"Oh, Uncle Edward," Molly cried, standing up and throwing her arms around his neck. "Will you please talk some sense into my dad? He clearly overreacted!"

A loud scoff came from Emmett, and he gripped his gun tighter in response. "Overreacted? OVERREACTED?"

"Okay, Em," Edward placated, holding up one of his hands while the other was still wrapped around Molly.

"SHE HAD NO CLOTHES ON!" he screamed.

"THAT IS NOT TRUE!" Molly screamed back.

"Uh, Lana and Pat, do you want to come out back with me? Show me around?" I voiced, having a feeling that this was going to get ugly. The two kids silently stood up from their seated position on the floor and followed me out of the room without a word, obvious to the fact that it was probably best if they didn't talk right then.

"Do you want to see the swing set, Bella?" Patrick asked with wide eyes once we were in the kitchen.

"Sure." I smiled at him, and was pretty surprised when he grabbed a hold of my hand and dragged me through the back door.

"Uncle Emmy and my dad built it when Molly was born. Isn't it so cool?"

Looking up at the fifteen foot wooden swing set, I couldn't help but nod in agreement. "This is amazing!" A rope swing dangled from one end of the structure, and there were four different swings spaced out evenly in between.

"My dad said that he always loved swing sets."

"Oh yeah?" I added to the conversation, looking over at him as he took his seat on a swing as I sat down beside him.

"Hmm-mmm," he hummed, pushing off the ground to gain some air.

Lana slowly made her way to where we were and, to my surprise, sat down on the swing that was on my left.

"Why is Uncle Emmy so mad at Molly?" she asked, her eyes not meeting mine.

"Um," I hesitated, kicking my own feet in the grass for a diversion. "Your Uncle Emmy is just very protective of Molly, and he wants to make sure that she doesn't get hurt."

"Was he going to shoot her?"

I couldn't help the laugh that escaped me, but I quickly reeled it in and straightened out my face. "No, honey. Your uncle would never hurt Molly."

"Dad's going to talk some sense into him, right?"

With a heavy sigh, I responded, "I sure hope so."

It was almost dark now, and Patrick decided to hop off the swing and chase around the lighting bugs that lit up the sky. I sat in silence, not sure what to even talk about with Lana. Should I bring up what her mother had said? I couldn't help but feel like that was between her and Rachel. I honestly didn't know what I would do or think in either of their shoes. Lana was dealing with her parents' divorce, and she was old enough to realize that her mother had shifted blame to me, even though she and Edward's break up happened long before I came back. But to the eyes of a ten-year-old, the lines there were blurred. And Rachel…I wanted to hate her, I really did. I wanted to be angry that she would say such hurtful, untrue things about me, but I couldn't help but think that I would be just as hurt if Edward was leaving me after all those years. Hell, I hated Alice.

I didn't have to like Rachel, but I understood.

"Are you going to take my dad away?" her small voice asked randomly, and I was so shocked with her question that it took me a moment to respond.

"What do you mean 'take him away'?"

"When you leave to go back home, is he going to go with you?" I could tell that she was on the verge of tears, and my heart was breaking for her.

"No, Lana, your dad isn't going to leave you. He would never leave you guys."

"He left my mom."

I sighed heavily. I really wasn't equipped to be having this conversation with her, but I couldn't just blow it off, either.

"That's different. Just because things didn't work out between your parents, doesn't mean that your dad doesn't love you, nor does it mean that he's going to leave you here. He loves you and Patrick more than anything in this world; he would do anything for you!"

"But what if he loves you more than us? Would he leave us then?" I didn't need it to be light outside to know that tears were streaking her face.

I shook my head immediately. "I'm not here to replace you, Lana," I spoke honestly. "Please don't ever think that I would ever take him from you. I would never…he would never." My voice broke at the end, and I willed my own emotions to stay in check.

"Promise?"

"Yes, honey, I promise."

"I'm sorry I said that you were a home-wrecking whore."

I smiled at her then. "It's okay."

"Dad is really mad at me for that."

"Yeah," I agreed. "But he'll get over it."

A door closing stopped our conversation, and I looked back at the house and saw a dark figure headed towards us.

"Hi, ladies," Edward's voice sounded as he got closer. "Where's Pat?"

Lana pointed to her left, and we could vaguely still see Patrick's shadow running around after the bugs. Edward just chuckled and moved around the swing set so he was behind us, and he grabbed onto Lana's swing, beginning to push her lightly.

"Is everything okay in there?" I asked, turning around so I could try and see his face with the minimal help of the moonlight.

"Oh yeah," he dismissed. "Emmett's just… Emmett could really use Rosalie right now, that's all. And this is one of those times that the girls need their mother."

"Rosalie would have known exactly what to do," I agreed sadly.

"HA!" he sounded out. "Rose would have taken that shotgun and killed that boy if she had been the one to find them."

I laughed then too-that would be the Rose I remembered. I was so happy that I got to meet her, come to know her, even if it was just far and in between over the years. She was as strong as they came.

"So were you girls having a fun chat out here?" Edward asked after a minute. I could tell that he tried to be lighthearted about the question, but there was still a residue of anger lying beneath the surface.

Lana didn't say anything, not that I really expected her to, given what we had talked about, so I just hummed in response.

"Can I go play with Sydney?" she asked, referring to Emmett's youngest daughter.

"Sure, baby," Edward allowed, even though his voice hinted at disappointment.

When Lana ran off, Edward sat down in the swing that she had been in, and he automatically started going in circles, twisting the chains that hung above him. His legs were way too long to fit comfortably beneath him, and he looked like a giant taking up this little space.

"So, Bella, Bella, Bella," he sang out, still twisting his swing.

"Edward, Edward, Edward," I repeated, allowing my swing to rock back and forth.

"Aren't you glad you never had kids on days like today?" he joked, chuckling in distress afterwards.

With a deep breath, I responded, "Actually…I would give anything to have moments like those, days like these."

My gaze was focused on the laces of my shoes, but I didn't need to look up at Edward to know he stopped twisting because everything just went silent.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I shouldn't have said that."

I just shrugged my shoulders. "Don't worry about it."

"Will you tell me about it?" he request, however hesitantly.

"Tell you about what?"

"Why you don't have any kids."

I guess we kind of had this conversation before, but I never went into any specifics. Even though this was not a conversation I wanted to have with anybody, it would only be time before he asked again. This was a part of my life, and I guess he deserved to know about it.

I knew I wouldn't be able to say all of this if I looked at him, so I made sure to keep my eyes focused on the ground, willing with all my might for my voice to work and my words to come out right. "I mean…we tried to have kids," I started. "Tried really hard, actually. For a long time, that was all I could focus on. I thought that if I had a baby, I would have someone who loved me unconditionally." My voice cracked. "There would be someone in this world who needed me as much as I needed them." I could feel the tears that stung behind my eyes, threatening to break through, breaking my strength down with each salty drop.

"I wanted to feel what it was like to be pregnant, to have a baby—my baby—kick inside of me. I wanted to decorate a nursery, buy a crib, a rocker. I wanted to hold my baby in my arms and know that I did this, that I did something worthy of creating life.

"God, I just wanted to be a mom," I admitted as the first tear slid down my wrinkled skin. "It's so hard to describe, but because I wanted it so badly, when it wasn't happening, it was all that much harder. We tried for years, every month that went by crushing me even more. And then," I paused, swallowing hard, "it finally happened. I was…I can't even tell you how happy I was. It was like _finally_ things were going right." Talking about this was even more difficult that I could have imagined, and because I was saying it to Edward, it made me, for some reason, feel that much worse. I felt like I was reliving it all over again.

"It was two weeks to the day that I found out I was pregnant that I miscarried. Man, if I felt like a failure before when I couldn't get pregnant, you could just imagine what I felt like when my body couldn't even hold my own baby."

I was full on crying now, continuously wiping the tears from my cheeks as they flowed down readily.

"Bella," Edward croaked, but I shook my head to silence him. I wasn't done yet.

"That happened twice more, and when I went to the doctor for the third one, I was so already close to my second trimester that I didn't want to believe it. I was in shock for a long time, and that was when my husband said it was enough. He wasn't going through that anymore.

"He gave up on me."

"It's not your fault, Bella," he said firmly. "It was out of your control. You're not a failure as a woman because of that. You believe me, right?"

"Anyway," I said, ignoring his question. "I would go to hell and back to have days and moments like these, fighting with my daughter over a boy or a slip of words. But I'm too old now, and my body is too damaged.

"But, you know, what Charlie said today, about how the Lord never gave him his own children so he just went out and made a family of his own…I think about that a lot. It might not be in any way a traditional family, but there's nothing stopping me from having one, being a part of one. I was so focused on having my own children that I lost my husband in the process, when all along I failed to realize that I was only centered on one option when there were so many more out there."

"I think Charlie Swan might be the smartest man I know," he reasoned after a long moment.

I couldn't help but smile in agreement.

"And he has one beautiful, just as smart _daughter_ in you, Bella."

My eyes closed automatically, a fresh pool of tears escaping. Edward was right-to Charlie, I was his daughter.

"I can't leave him," I finally said, the truth of his statement fully sinking in. "I just…can't." I looked over at Edward then, and he was returning my gaze with a quizzical look on his face.

"Bella," he warned, "you can't decide to stay here because of Charlie. That needs to be a decision that you make on your own."

"I am the one making the decision, Edward. But once in my life shouldn't I make a decision that is not so goddamn selfish? Charlie is the best man I know; he would give his arm and leg for a stranger down the street if they so needed one…isn't it about time that I did something for him?"

"Do you want to be here, Bella? Do you want to move here? I think this is something that you still need to really think about."

Sighing heavily, the back of mind couldn't help but agree that Edward was right. This was too big of a decision to be making right then. I needed to think about it more, call my boss, talk to Charlie. My life wasn't all about me anymore, and I needed to start including these other people into my decisions.

**O.o**

The night with Edward on the swings at Emmett's felt like ages ago as I stood in the kitchen of Charlie's house, even though it had only been a little over a week. When I got home that night, Seth was asleep on the couch, blankets wrapped tightly around him as Charlie sat in his chair.

I didn't need to guess twice when I had seen the bruise on Seth's closed eye, and Charlie had confirmed it with a nod of his head. My skin had boiled with rage as my heart had burned with overwhelming sadness. His parents…if I ever got my hands on them, would feel pain they have never felt before. How could one do this to their own son?

The morning after, I had called Edward, and he came right over with kids, letting them play with the horses out back as he took Seth back to his house to pack up some of his stuff. I had placed a call into social services as soon as I hung up with Edward. That child wasn't going to spend one more night in that home if I could help it. He was just a _child_. He needed someone to fight for him, and that was exactly what I was going to do.

I had tried to give up my room and sleep on the couch, but Seth would have none of that. He had been adamant, being the stubborn thing he was, that I kept my room and he would take the couch. I just wish we had another room, more space, anything, to make him more comfortable.

The days after that went by in a blur as I met with social services and we had tried to get things settled. It was a whirlwind of activity, confusing laws, and fighting to keep Seth from going back. Unfortunately, things weren't going in our favor when the counselor, Peggy, went to Seth's home. Only his mother was there, but she had played her part of the broken hearted parent well, and Seth was told that he should go home. I wanted to kill his mother, but at the time there was nothing I could do.

So, Seth went back, only to be at Charlie's working during the day, and then he would sneak out whenever his father rolled in at night. I had never seen such a strong kid be so afraid of his own father in my entire life. I figured something was bad at his home, but this was the first time his father used his fist on him. It was only a matter of time, I was sure, that it would happen again. And when it did, it wouldn't be any of the men using the shotgun-it would be me.

I was grateful that Seth could still escape to Charlie's, but it only fueled my anger that neither of his parents even noticed it. It wasn't a good situation we had going on, but it was the best we could do at the moment.

I also ignored the ringing of my cellphone when I saw the familiar name of my ex light up on it again. It was like he was haunting me. He had called twice this week, but finally I was at a point in my life where I knew I had other, more important things, that mattered more than he did.

It was mid-afternoon, though I wasn't sure what day it was since they all seemed to have blended together, and I was busy in the kitchen making lunch for Seth who was working out back and Charlie who was reading on the back porch. I noticed the storm clouds approaching, and I knew it was going to be another big one. After I was done putting the sandwiches together, I headed out back and passed Charlie his and headed to the barn to do the same to Seth. A loud crack of thunder hit as I opened the door, and the rain that fell from the sky started only seconds later.

"Here you go, kid," I sounded, giving him his lunch.

"Thanks, Bells," he said happily, taking an eager bite. The bruise on his eye was almost gone now, only a hint of yellow outlining his skin.

"BELLA!"

I faintly heard my name from outside the barn, but with the thunder and my imagination, I couldn't be sure. I decided to ignore it and busied myself instead with putting the plate and Seth's drink down on a clean surface.

"BELLA!"

I heard it again, and this time I knew it couldn't just be me. Seth lifted his head at the noise too, so I decided to stick my head out of the barn door.

"BELLA!"

When my head turned, I saw Edward running around the house and into the back yard, getting soaked from the rain that had begun to fall from the sky. My heart automatically started to beat faster at the sight of him.

"BELLA!" he continued yelling, this time a smile on his face when he saw me come out of the barn.

I met him halfway, confused at what he was doing as I hesitantly stepped out into the rain, getting drenched myself.

"What are you doing?" I yelled, the rain falling harder now as another clap of thunder roared out, the lighting illuminating the sky in shocking flashes.

"Bella," he repeated, this time not screaming it. "I came right over...after...it's done." His chest was heaving as he slowed down, no longer running but instead taking determined steps toward me. "Bella," he said again, and I was frozen in my spot, looking at his elated expression. His blue eyes held a light in them that I hadn't seen in ages, and the crinkles that appeared around his eyes as he smiled so widely made me smile myself.

My hair was sticking to my wet face, a piece falling in my eyes as the rain continued to come down from the sky. His hair was matted like mine, his shirt clinging to body, his boots splashing in the mud beneath him.

Taking the last step to where I was, his hand rose to my forehead and swiped my hair back, looking into my eyes as the rain dripped from my eyelashes and onto my cheek, disguising themselves as the tears that threatened to fall.

"You are so beautiful," he muttered, the words soft on his lips.

Without another word, he grabbed my face in both of his hands and pressed his body as close to mine as our standing position would allow, and he did something that I had been waiting for for over twenty years.

He breathed in, he smiled, and then he kissed me.

**O.o**

**So, was it worth the wait? Please review! **


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N – Thanks to ginginlee for beta'ing, and lizzylillyrose, sammielynnsmom, and morethanmyself for prereading. I promise, this chapter looked pretty bad before their suggestions. **

**So happy with all of you who are reviewing and rec'ing this fic! There's a lot of fun news down at the bottom, so please be sure to read the End Notes! **

**So some of you wondered why in the world would Bella bring up Jacob to Rachel. Remember, it was only the afternoon before that he and Edward almost fought in the parking lot at the park, and Edward had alluded to being friends with Jacob before. Bella was curious, and rightly so, I think.**

**So this chapter is supposed to be awkward and funny and make you cringe. Don't you remember what it was like doing **_**stuff**_** at seventeen? It's okay to laugh at them; I sure as hell did when I wrote it.**

**O.o**

_"Hey, Bella," she greeted as she put the car in reverse and pulled out of the gravel drive._

_"Hey, Rachel, can I ask you a question?" I voiced right off the bat._

_"Sure," she complied, turning the knob of the stereo down so she could hear me better._

_"What can you tell me about a kid named Jacob?"_

**Chapter 17**

**1987**

At the mention of his name, Rachel let out a single laugh, shaking her head a bit as she put the car back into drive and started down the street.

"Jacob Black, I'm guessing?" she asked, sparing a glance in my direction.

"Uh, sure." I shrugged, not really sure of his last name. "How many Jacobs are there in this small town?"

"He's the only one worth bringing up in conversation. Why do you ask?" I knew that she knew something interesting, or else the smug look on her face wouldn't have been there.

I internally debated whether or not I should get into the details of what happened at the park the day before between Jacob and Edward. I wanted to trust Rachel; she has given me no reason not to trust her, and I figured that asking her about Jacob was better than coming out and asking Edward. He had seemed especially touchy about the subject yesterday, and I really didn't want to go there again with him. Rachel was my next best option.

"Edward and I kind of ran into him yesterday." This made her laugh out loud, as I just sat beside her, still confused.

"I bet that went well," she scoffed.

"It was peachy. Anyway, will you tell me why I had to step between them so they wouldn't kill each other?" My tone was straight to the point; I didn't find what had nearly happened all that funny at all.

"Well, let's just say that the town was almost set a flame when Edward and Jake had their falling out."

I sat quietly, waiting for her to continue, but she didn't do so that willingly.

"Were people hurt or something?"

"Hmm," she sighed, "the only ones physically hurt were Edward and Jacob when they would actually fight each other, but a lot of people were torn when all that shit went down. They were really close growing up, practically inseparable. They had their own little group of guys, actually, but it was all split down the middle soon after Jake's dad left."

"Edward mentioned something about that," I added, taking it all in.

"Well, Jake's mom isn't much better. I would say she spends more time with a bottle than she does with her own children, and Jake just turned to ice. He was arrested for arson when he was fifteen, spent some time in jail before Edward's dad bailed him out, almost went to juvy if it weren't for the Masen's."

"I don't get why Jacob would turn against Edward, then. It doesn't make sense."

"No one really knows why, I guess. I think that was why it was so hard for Edward. He refuses to talk about him now; Jake's not even allowed to be brought up in conversation when we hang out. It just sucks; we were all friends with Jake. But Edward definitely took the worst of it. One day, Jacob was Edward's best friend, the next, Edward was sent to the hospital with a broken nose and a black eye."

"That's...awful," I stammered. I had no idea what it felt like to have my best friend turn on me. I was sure it was probably a gutted feeling, at best.

"So you saw him yesterday? Was he with his biker gang?" she mocked, switching her hands on the steering wheel.

"Um, yeah, I guess. There were two other guys with him, but I don't know who they were. I wasn't exactly introduced."

"Hmm, well, it probably doesn't matter. I doubt Edward will see Jake again once he leaves for college. He's all for never coming back here once he leaves."

"Yeah, so he's mentioned."

She glanced over at me, then, giving me a look that I didn't recognize. But her eyes only could stay on me for a moment before she had to go back to watching the road, not long enough for me to decipher just exactly what it was for.

"Can I ask you another question...this one might be a little weird. If it's too much, just let me know, okay?" I hesitated, gauging her reaction.

"You can ask me anything, Bella. It takes a lot to really faze me," she responded light heartedly.

"Did you and Edward ever...you know..." I trailed off, hoping that she would be the one to decipher whatever the 'you know' meant.

This just caused her to laugh again, and if I were being honest, I was getting pretty tired of the laughter. "Let's just say that Edward and I...hell, I don't know, but you don't need to worry about it, Bella. Been there, done that, ancient history."

_So something had happened..._

I took a deep breath, telling myself that it didn't matter. Honestly, _it didn't matter._ I thought that if I repeated it to myself, I would start to believe it.

"So, you and Edward looked pretty cozy at the party. I should be the one asking what exactly is going on between you two," she brought up playfully, a joking manner in her tone.

I couldn't help but smile, the very prideful, selfish, inner seventeen-year-old in me secretly glad she had noticed and brought it up.

"Yeah, it just kind of happened," I offered. "He's really great."

"A charmer, that one."

I smiled again, not being able to disagree with her.

"He would be good for you, Bella. He's a great guy, honestly," she spared another glance in my direction, "and you are really sweet."

I smiled at her compliment, already feeling guilty about how I had felt earlier. Rachel was no threat; she wasn't trying to step in the way of anything that was happening. If she had, I would have noticed it at the party, at the lake, at the fair when I first arrived in Johnston County.

I just had to trust her that when she said her and Edward were over, they were just that…history.

O.o

"Are you all packed for the beach?" Uncle Charlie called up the stairs a few days later. It was early Saturday morning, and Edward, Rachel, and I were riding to Wilmington in Riley's Jeep.

"Yeah," I hollered back. Truthfully, I had been packed since Thursday, but I didn't want to seem too eager. I did have some pride left to save, after all.

Trudging down the steps with my suitcase behind me, all I earned was a large eye roll and huff from the old man who was sipping his coffee, leaning against the door.

"Going for a month, are you, Bella?"

I didn't even entertain his mocking with a response.

"Got any more of that for me?" I asked instead, referring to the cup in his hands.

He motioned with his head to the kitchen, and I headed right that way after I dropped my bag off at the door.

"So you're going down to Charleston today, right?" I asked, searching for a travel mug since my ride would be here soon.

"Yup. The team will be over in an hour to pick up the horses."

"That's exciting." I smiled. "Good luck with the race!"

He huffed again, which was really just his bashful way of saying thanks.

A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door, and Charlie held up his hand, motioning for me to stay where I was so he could answer it.

"He's way past your intimidation, Uncle Charlie," I yelled out as he pulled the door open to a very awake-looking Edward.

"Hello, sir!" he greeted enthusiastically. "Is Bella ready to go?"

He just took one look at him. "She's not going," he deadpanned, shutting the door in his face.

I laughed in my spot. They really were funny to watch as they interacted with each other.

Another knock on the door sounded, causing Charlie to open it, albeit reluctantly.

"Mr. Swan, I can see her bag." He pointed to the black suitcase where I had left it.

_And cue the huff..._ "Fine, she's in the kitchen."

Edward smiled and walked through the threshold, squeezing past Charlie who refused to move an inch from his spot. He saw me immediately, since I was a clear view from the door, and headed right my way.

"Coffee...good, I don't want you grumpy," he remarked, laughing as he kissed me on the cheek.

"Keep talking like that and I'll tell Charlie to release the big guns."

"Definitely not funny," he said, more seriously this time. Yeah, I thought it was hilarious that even though he didn't act like it all the time, he was still very much afraid of Charlie. I actually found it pretty endearing.

"Are Rach and Riley in the car?"

"Yup...just waiting on you."

I turned and put the lid on my coffee cup, cleaning up my mess before walking to the closet door to find my shoes. Edward grabbed my suitcase and said bye to Charlie before stepping outside.

"Bye, Uncle Charlie," I said, giving him a hug.

"Remember what we talked about, Bella." I could hear the warning in his voice.

"No sex with Rachel...got it."

"Bella..."

"Or Riley."

"You're pushing it, child."

"You have nothing to worry about, Uncle Charlie. I'll be on my best behavior."

"Yeah, yeah," he muttered, kissing my head before sending me on my way.

Edward was putting my bag in the trunk as I walked outside, and I climbed into the back of the Jeep and found Rachel sitting in the seat beside me.

"Morning," she greeted, smiling at me warmly as Riley turned from his spot in the driver's seat and did the same. Edward then climbed into the front passenger seat and pulled on his seat belt.

"Ready?" Riley asked, looking at all of us before pulling out of the drive.

"We have one more stop before we head off," Edward added as he adjusted the music on the radio. "Emmett called me last night and said he could come, if that's cool. He and Tanya are going to follow behind us."

"Ugh, Tanya's coming?" Rachel groaned, throwing her head back against the seat.

"Rach, she's his sister," Edward scolded.

"But I can't _stand_ her," she emphasized.

Edward just laughed. "Well, get over it, honey."

"Hey! I thought this was my beach house!"

Edward just turned back and winked at her before facing forward again. I tried, really I did, but, even so, my blood boiled as I watched them. I didn't like the look that had passed between them at all.

The drive was pretty quiet after we left Emmett's and Tanya's house; I just sat and looked at the passing view as I drank my cooling coffee. Riley sang along with the music, but neither Edward nor Rachel talked much, either. I couldn't help but feel like there was an awkward tension between everyone, but then again, it could have just been my imagination, making something of this when there wasn't.

It took less time than I thought it would to pull up to Rachel's waterfront beach house, and I honestly wasn't surprised at the size after seeing her other house. Whatever her family did, I would have loved to be a part of it. This was crazy.

The house-if a simple term like that could even begin to describe it-was painted in a light blue color with a white door and a white front porch, all high raised on beams with a garage underneath. Rachel's parents' car, I assumed, was already parked, and Riley just pulled in behind them.

"I forgot how nice this shit was, Rachy," Riley commented as he put the car in park.

"Eh," she sounded, shrugging her shoulders. "Just because it's big, doesn't make it feel any more like a home."

Edward and I shared a look as we got out of the car in response to Rachel's comment. It never really occurred to me what kind of relationship she had with her family. She didn't seem especially close to Jamie, and her parents always seemed to be out of town. Maybe having money didn't make your life perfect after all.

I carried my own bag and helped grab the other stuff in the trunk as we all climbed up the stairs of the house and walked in. The door was unlocked, and it led straight into a massive living room area, the kitchen right behind it.

"The rooms are all upstairs. You guys can pick as you may, but mine has my name on the door, so obviously that one is out."

"How many rooms are there?" Edward asked, looking between us right as Emmett and Tanya walked through the door.

"Not enough for everyone to have their own, so you guys can fight it out." With that, Rachel walked up the stairs, carrying her own bag and leaving us in the living room. She wasn't her usually sparky self, which threw me off a little bit.

The rest of us just kind of looked at each other and shrugged, agreeing to check out the rooms upstairs before deciding. It really wasn't a big deal, since we were only spending one night here, but I still felt a little nervous that Edward would suggest sharing a room with me. But then, I remembered Rachel's party, and sleeping in different rooms, knowing he would be right down the hall, seemed just as bad. I knew I kept insinuating that we push our boundaries, but it didn't make it any less nerve racking.

Luckily, the boys decided to take the largest room that had two sets of bunk beds, and that left Tanya and I to each get our own room. I chose one at the end of the hall, and it had a queen-sized bed with white sheets and a yellow and green quilt on top. The wall across from the bed opened up to a porch that connected to both the boys' and Rachel's room, all facing the beautiful ocean.

After setting my bag down on the bed, I kicked off my shoes and opened the balcony door, stepping out onto the painted wooden boards and walking up to the matching white railing. I could hear the waves crash against the shore, and I could smell the salt in the air. I was giddy at just the thought of digging my toes into the sand or feeling the pull of the current while in the ocean. I couldn't remember being here as a baby, so this all felt brand new to me, _kind of like other things that have been happening this summer, _I added to my thoughts.

Standing there, elbows resting on the ledge and face looking forward, I didn't hear a door open, but it must have, because I couldn't help but jump out of surprise when someone came to stand right next to me, touching my arm with his as he mirrored my position.

"Oh, hey, Riley," I said, pulling my arm an inch back my way so it wouldn't touch his.

"What are you doing out here?" he asked, rocking slightly on the balls of his feet.

"Just looking at the view; I've never seen the ocean before."

"It's, um…it's beautiful, isn't it?" he stammered, and I could see him looking at me from the corner of my eye.

"Yeah…really pretty."

Awkward silence followed; this was the first time Riley had tried to talk to me on his own. Even though he was Edward's best friend, I really didn't know him well enough to know how to carry on this conversation.

"I'm really glad you're here this summer, Bella," he blurted out after a minute.

"Uh, oh…okay. Yeah, me too."

"Really…" he tried to emphasize, looking at me pointedly.

The only thing I could do was smile, feeling a little awkward out here with him. "Thanks," I added when conversation stopped. He finally removed his gaze from me and looked back out at the ocean.

"Well, anyway," he started, "everyone is heading down to the beach, so we should probably go ahead and change and join them."

"Right." I looked around the porch, walking backwards and awkwardly waving my hand goodbye as I stepped back into my room. _That was weird,_ I couldn't help but think. I made sure to close the blinds from the balcony so no onlookers could see me change. Maybe it wouldn't be so cool to share a porch with that many people after all.

Just as I finishing tying the strings to my pale blue bikini, I heard a knock at my door. Pulling it open, I saw Edward on the other side, leaning against the wall in his red and orange board shorts, leaving his incredible chest and stomach uncovered.

"Hi." He smiled, not even bothering to be subtle as he looked me over.

"Well, hi," I said back, raising a brow and smirking when he made eye contact with me so he would know he was well and caught.

Walking towards me, he pushed me back further into my room, shutting the door behind him. He turned me so my back was facing the wall until I felt my body resting against it.

"Hi," he said again, this time his hands coming to glide across my stomach and wrapping around my back.

"Hi," I responded, my voice lowering as he inched closer.

"I never got to say hi to you properly this morning," he said, his thumbs burning my skin as they made lazy circles right above the material of my suit bottoms.

"So you're making up for it now?" I laughed, bringing my arms to circle his neck.

"Mmm-hmm," he agreed, pressing further into me so his body was flush against mine.

Leaning his head down the rest of the way, he kissed me then, and I couldn't help as my head moved to the back of the wall so he had to come closer. His hands moved up and down my torso, across my ribs and just barely skimming the parts of me that were covered by my bathing suit as he deepened the kiss. Sighing as I felt his tongue move with mine inside my mouth, I tightened my grip so my chest was flush against his, which caused Edward to release a strangled moan.

One of his hands moved to my neck, holding me there as his kiss became more intense, and his other hand slipped down to my backside, only resting there until he used it to pull me closer. I embarrassingly knew the effects that his kiss and closeness were having on my own body, but it was when I felt him _growing…down there…_I decided to cool things down. I stopped the kiss, breathing heavily as I rested my head against the wall, and he brought his head to my shoulder, kissing the skin of my neck.

"Edward," I said, still trying to catch my breath.

"Hmm," he hummed, kissing up my neck to the back of my ear.

"Everyone is probably waiting for us," I spoke quickly, closing my eyes, embarrassed.

As soon as the words left my mouth, he stopped mid motion. Straightening back up, the hand that was behind me came to my face as he gently rubbed the skin right below my eye. I opened them to him then and saw his blue eyes studying my face.

"Okay," he said, although there was hesitation and question in his voice.

I knew I was the one who asked to take things further, but I was really clueless here. That was the first time I had ever felt _one of those_, and it took me off guard, making me question whether or not I was ready to take things father with him.

But in the back of my mind, knowing about all of his ex-girlfriends, I knew he had to be a lot more experienced with the whole sex thing, but I wasn't. I wanted it—especially after kissing him like that, and I thought about it, too. All the time I would imagine what it would be like, but thinking about it and actually doing it, I guess, were two very different things, and the realization of that scared me a little bit.

"Are you okay?" he asked worriedly, and it was obvious that he felt guilty, even though he had nothing to feel guilty about.

"Yeah…I just…" I trailed off, my face bright red.

"Bella, it's okay. We don't have to do anything." He quickly caught on to what I was trying to say.

"No, no!" I practically yelled. "I want to…I just… I'm new to this," I admitted, ducking my head in my embarrassment. "And I know I'm giving you really mixed signals here, but I'm trying, okay?"

"Bella, we can go as slow or as fast as you want to…or nothing at all, for that matter. _This," _he emphasized, waving a hand between us, "isn't the reason why I like you so much."

"I know, and it isn't the reason I like you, either, but it doesn't mean I don't want it, and I know you want it, too." I awkwardly motioned to his lower half.

It was Edward's turn to become red, and he squeezed his eyes shut. "Um, sorry about that. Couldn't really help it."

"I know…and I just…you know…never…"

"You've never felt one before?" he asked, opening his eyes and looking at me with surprise.

I just shook my head no.

"Do you, um, want to?"

If I had felt awkward with Riley out on the porch, it didn't even compare to how awkward and embarrassed I felt right then. "Um, yes," I tentatively agreed.

Both of our eyes focused on my hand as he cautiously placed my fingers in his, slowly moving our joined hands to the front of his board shorts. As soon as my hand rested on him, his eyed glued shut and a quiet moan escaped his lips.

He shuddered as he continued to slowly run both of our hands up his erection. "Fuck," he released.

It was hard, obviously, but it also surprised me, too. I wasn't sure how long they were supposed to be, but we definitely didn't get to the tip right away, and when we did, I rested my hand there, squeezing him gently between the fabric, and he hissed, pushing against me with his free hand so I was once again pinned at the wall.

Without putting much thought into it, I made the path back down him, only minimally hindered by his bathing suit. His reaction made me bolder than I thought possible, and before I could change my mind, I shook his hand off, opening up the top of his shorts and slipping my hand in, grabbing him for real. I was glad I couldn't see his eyes, because that would have been too much as I heard the sounds coming out of his mouth when I was no longer hindered by the fabric.

"You don't have to do that," he practically panted, breathing heavily.

Not really knowing what to do, I just continued to move my hand up and down his length, but it was dry and hard to get my hand across. I just stood there looking at the opposite wall as he rested his head against my shoulder.

After a few minutes, he grabbed my wrist, stopping my movements.

"What?" I asked. "Did I do something wrong?"

I felt him shake his head seconds before her removed it from its current resting place on my shoulder. "No, I just…we should, um, go downstairs."

"Oh, okay." I knew my cheeks were flushed, especially since I was still griping him, and I let go, awkwardly removing my hand from his shorts and letting it rest to my side.

"I'll, um, be down there in a few minutes, okay?" he spoke, taking a step back from me and rubbing the back of his neck.

"What are you going to do? Are you not ready?" I asked, confused as to why I had to go downstairs alone.

"I, well, I just need a minute."

"Um, alright," I agreed, looking at him strangely as I walked to the bed to pick up my towel and to slip on my sandals before leaving the room.

Everyone was downstairs at the kitchen island, Emmett and Rachel sitting on stools while Riley and Tanya stood across from them. They each had a can of Coke in their hands and were eating chips out of the bag that sat on the counter.

"Hey, Bella," Emmett sang out knowingly. "Where's Edward?"

They all gave me a look, except for Tanya of course, and in that moment, I automatically liked her best.

"He'll be right down," I answered, sitting on the extra stool that was next to Rachel. She winked at me when I sat down, but I just ignored it, grabbing a chip from the bag and bringing it about halfway to my mouth before it clicked what hand I had used to grab it. Being as subtle as possible, I placed the chip down on the counter instead of putting it in my mouth, mentally slapping myself for not washing my hands before I came downstairs.

I knew that it wasn't necessarily _messy,_ but I still touched _it,_ and I just felt that it should be washed before I, you know, ate something. I think Rachel was the only one who caught on, and I saw her smile from the corner of my eye, but thank God she didn't say anything.

"Are you guys ready to head down to the beach?" Rachel asked after a few minutes, and I looked at the clock on the wall, seeing that it was just past eleven a.m.

"Aren't we going to wait for Edward?" Tanya asked, popping another chip in her mouth.

Laughing, Rachel replied, "He can find us on his own; he's a _big_ boy." She glanced back and winked at me again.

_Oh, God._ I wanted to crawl into a hole.

Luckily, people didn't notice the double meaning of her comment, and we all stood up, heading to the garage to pick up the beach chairs and carried them down to the sand. It was a very short walk, since her house was ocean front, and I was really happy to see that the beach was pretty empty for the most part. I figured it had to be a private lot area for residents only. There were houses on both sides of hers, just as big, might I add, but not many people were out.

The sun was bright in the sky, and I cursed the fact that I had forgotten my sunglasses in the house. Too bad running back in there wasn't an option; if people were suspicious of what Edward and I were up to before, that would definitely set them off. Instead, I just sucked it up, spreading out my towel and lying on it, closing my eyes to block out the intensity of the sun.

Rachel set up a beach chair right beside me, and Tanya did the same beside her. The boys just threw their stuff down, pulling a volleyball out of one of the bags that Emmett had carried and started hitting it to each other. It was only a few minutes later that Edward came jogging down the beach, and I couldn't help but go red as I turned and looked at him. He was wearing the same shorts as before, but the front of them were, um, well, _normal_ looking again.

Very casually, he laid out the towel he was holding down next to me and spread out on it, resting on his stomach. He curled his arms under his head, and turned it so he was looking at me.

"Hey," he whispered, smiling.

"Hey," I whispered back, meeting his eyes.

"Edward, man, where have you been?" Emmett called out, breaking our stare.

Without missing a beat, Edward turned around so he was on his back, resting on his elbows. "Oh, you know, just figuring out the best way to sneak into Tanya's room late at night," he said, dead serious, which only caused Emmett to chuck the volleyball in his direction. Blocking it easily with him arm, Edward laughed.

"Not even funny, Edward," Emmett said, catching the volleyball that Edward threw back to him after standing up.

"Dude, that's my cousin…" Edward rebutted, standing a bit a ways from Em and Riley so he could throw and back forth with them, too.

His response, though, diverted the attention away from the previous subject, for which I was grateful. They continued to play, and I enjoyed just relaxing in the sun. I dug my feet into the sand and played with it between my fingers as I laid there with my eyes closed. I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew, I felt a hand ghost over my stomach.

Opening my eyes and blinking rapidly, I quickly saw Edward lying next to me, his fingertips making patterns on my warm skin. I looked around for everyone else, but they weren't around us. I, however, could hear them from a distance, and when I looked out to the ocean, they were all there.

"Hi, sleepy head." He smiled, but I had to raise my hand to my forehead to block the glare from the sun in order to see it.

"I didn't mean to fall asleep; what time is it?"

He just shrugged. "Not sure. It hasn't been too long, though."

Without having anything else to say, I lifted my head and kissed him. When he caught on after a split second, he pushed back so I could rest my head back on my towel. He placed a few closed mouthed kisses on my lips before I opened my mouth for more.

I could feel him smile, which only made the kiss a little sloppy.

Laughing, I pushed him back. "What's so funny?" I asked, referring to his cheeky grin.

He shrugged again. "I'm just happy that you still want to do that."

"What? Kiss you?"

"Yeah…you know." He looked unsure of himself now, his eyes looking at the sand next to my head.

I pulled him back down to me, kissing him again. "Of course I still want to," I assured. "And I still want to do other stuff too," I whispered the last part, a little embarrassed myself.

"So I didn't freak you out earlier?" he questioned, laughing awkwardly after he asked it.

I just shook my head no. It wasn't completely a lie, but I didn't want him to think of me as a child if I would have said yes.

He leaned back down to kiss me one more time. "Good." Standing up, he reached out for my hand.

"Where are we going?" I asked, grabbing it and allowing him to pull me to my feet.

"You, my dear, are going into the ocean." With that, he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder, giving my ass a good smack before walking us down to the blue water with me kicking and laughing for him to put me down.

That was a battle I wouldn't win, I soon realized, as I felt my body submerge under the surface.

**O.o**

The rest of the day went by quickly, and we stayed out on the beach until around seven when the boys couldn't wait any longer for dinner. We had munched all day on chips and pop, but they were all ready, Emmett especially, for a proper meal.

"Uh, Rachel, where are your parents?" I asked when we got back into the house, since we had still yet to see them.

She just shrugged uncaringly. "Who knows; who cares? The fridge is stocked with beer for tonight, so we're all set, anyway."

"Okay," I said, not really knowing what else to say.

"Do you guys want to go out to eat or order in?" Riley asked, flipping through a phone book that he found on the kitchen counter.

"Let's just order in," Edward answered. "It's easier than getting ready to go out. That way we can just stay in our suits and go in the hottub later."

"Sounds good to me," Riley agreed, and everyone else was in agreement, as well.

"I'm going to go shower," I said, heading towards the pathway of the stairs.

"Aw, come on, you're not going to go in the hottub, Bella?" Riley asked, looking up from the counter.

"Nah, not tonight."

They let me go after that, and I was grateful for the alone time the shower would provide. My skin already felt raw and burned from being out in the sun for so long earlier, and I knew joining them in the hottub would have just been painful. So, instead of even risking it, I just changed into a pair of cotton shorts and a tanktop, joining everyone back downstairs when I was done. They had ordered pizza, and it had just arrived when I joined them.

The night seemed to drag on, and after sitting on the hottub's ledge for an hour, I knew it was time to go to bed. It was rounding midnight by that point, and I couldn't prevent the yawn that escaped my lips. Tanya had already gone to bed a little while before, so I didn't feel bad at all when I told the rest of the group that I was heading up as well.

I kissed Edward before hopping off the ledge, and I waved to the rest of them, all hearing a chorus of 'goodnight's as I walked back into the house. My bedroom was dark, only being illuminated by the moon, and I kept it that way, not bothering to turn on the light as I opened the balcony door, wanting to hear the waves crash as I fell asleep. I climbed into the large bed, pulling the covers over me and falling on the pillow.

I was out in seconds.

I vaguely remembered another body joining me in the bed an unknown time later, but I was too deep into my sleep to turn around and see who it was. And as I felt the weight of the person behind me and an arm circle my waist, it only lulled me deeper into unconsciousness.

**O.o**

**END NOTES:**

**A lot of fun things happened this weekend for Strawberry Wine! It was featured on the Avant Garde Awards Story Spotlight! Thanks to all who wrote such wonderful reviews for the feature! Here is the link if you want to check it out: **http:/ www. /story-spotlight- strawberry-wine (Take out spaces)

**Strawberry Wine is also up for Fic of the Week at The Lemonade Stand! Voting ends TODAY so I would love your vote! It's up against some huge names! **Tehlemonadestand . blogspot . com (Take out spaces)

**Also, on Twitter last Friday, I posted that if SW got over 400 reviews by the end of the weekend, I would update twice this week, and thanks to Katethegreat going back and reviewing every chapter, it got us over. So expect another update in a few days. Also, I've decided that every hundred-review-mark reached, I'll update twice. This isn't me holding back chapters, this is me working extra hard as a way of saying thanks. I like the incentive on both ends. **

**That being said, please review! xoxo**


	18. Chapter 18

**You guys are amazing – I promised two updates a week for each time we passed a hundred review mark, and I've gotten over 150 reviews in the last week alone! You crazy, crazy people! ;) Keep it up if you want double updates! (Yes, I have thrown all resemblance of a social life out the window) **

**Thanks to all who came out of hiding to review! Sorry I didn't reply – I have been working like mad to get this chapter done in just a few days time. **

**The people who make this story worthy of your eyes are so near and dear to my heart: my beta, Ginginlee, and my fantastic prereaders, Lizzylillyrose, Sammielynnsmom, and Morethanmyself. **

**And let's get back to that kiss, why don't we… **

_Taking the last step to where I was, his hand rose to my forehead and swiped my hair back, looking into my eyes as the rain dripped from my eyelashes and onto my cheek, disguising themselves as the tears that threatened to fall._

_"You are so beautiful," he muttered, the words soft on his lips._

_Without another word, he grabbed my face in both of his hands and pressed his body as close to mine as our standing position would allow, and he did something that I had been waiting for for over twenty years._

_He breathed in, he smiled, and then he kissed me._

**Chapter 18**

**2010**

I could feel as the rain beat down on my face, and I could taste the water on my lips. My hands clung to his t-shirt as he cradled my face, and I wanted to get lost inside of him. Loosening my grip on the fabric of his shirt, I flung my arms around his neck, pressing up on my toes to get closer, and he glided his arms down my body until they rested on my hips, pulling me right to him.

He would only release my lips to move his face so he could kiss me again. His lips were soft, full, and tasted like the fresh summer droplets that fell between us. I felt goosebumps on my skin as the hot air mixed with the cool rain, and a shudder involuntarily rocked through my body.

"Bella," he said again, almost reverently. Another loud peal of thunder sounded in the sky, accompanied with incredible flashes of lightening that illuminated the darkening horizon.

"When you said it was done," I began, referring to his little ramble of words before he kissed me, "does that mean…?"

"Remember that time you told me to let you know when I was no longer someone's husband?" he joked with another dazzling smile. "This is me letting you know." He slowly pulled me back to him and kissed me again, this time both of our smiling faces making it difficult, but we didn't dare allow something as simple as our elation stop us from kissing.

"YO! BELLA!" I heard after a few minutes, begrudgingly separating myself from Edward and looking over at Seth who was running towards us.

"What, kid? I'm kind of busy here," I relayed seriously, earning a laugh from the said reason for being busy beside me.

"It's great that y'all are all sucking faces and shit, but I just saw lighting hit really close to the ground back there, so unless you really want to know what an electric current feels like coursing through your body as he's kissing you, I suggest you take this love fest inside."

"Where do you learn this stuff, kid?" I asked incredulously as Edward just took my hand and all three of us began running inside.

To all of our amusement, Charlie was still sitting on the back porch, swinging back and forth on his porch swing with a very smug look on his face. Luckily the overhead covering kept him from getting wet like the rest of us were, but I still wanted to get him inside, surprised that he hadn't already gone in.

"Go ahead and say it," I started, shaking my head as I helped him stand up.

Edward held the door open for us as I helped the old man walk inside, rolling his oxygen tank behind him.

"Say what, baby?" he asked seriously. "I don't have a single thing to say. Nope, not me."

Seth grabbed Charlie's arm for me and helped him to the living room while I wrung out my dripping hair on the porch.

"You're soaked," Edward said, leaning against the wall and letting the screen door shut.

"Pun intended?" I asked, causing him to release a full belly laugh and shake his head.

"God, Bella…" He laughed again.

"What?" I shrugged, kicking off my shoes and leaving them by the mat.

"Let's just get inside before I make good on that _pun_."

"Whatever, buddy." I laughed now. "It's not like my uncle being home has ever stopped you before." I took his hand as we walked back into the house, careful to not make puddles on the kitchen floor with our dripping clothes.

"It's a good thing for him that I have more self-control these days."

I raised a brow in his direction, silently challenging him.

"Knock it off, pretty girl. I only just kissed you," he said while shaking his head. "Always pushing me to go further." His voice dropped as he took the extra step towards me that closed the distance between us, wrapping his arms around my shoulders as he kissed me again.

"I never heard you complaining," I rebutted as his lips left mine.

"We need room for rational thinking here," he said, not sure who he was trying to convince, though, because he didn't dare take a step away from me.

"We've had twenty plus years of rational thinking that didn't get us anywhere," I challenged.

"I don't want to lose you again."

"Then I suggest you keep kissing me."

"You like that, huh?" He laughed, and I loved seeing the light back in his eyes.

"Not to give you a big head here or anything, but you're not too bad at it."

"Oh, well I'm glad I meet your standards."

"Eh," I shrugged, "my kissing standards are pretty low. Don't worry."

He pinched my side, causing my normal laughs to turn into squealing giggles.

"Oh, God! Not the giggles again!" He laughed now, continuing his relentless tickling.

I collapsed to the kitchen floor, only to be followed by Edward as he refused to release my sides.

"Stop!" I screamed between bursts of laughter. "I kill you!" I mocked in my best Achmed the Dead Terrorist interpretation.

"I don't think so," he yelled over my screams.

Before we knew it, both of us heard a clearing of a throat behind us, and we both froze in our movements and looked up. My head was on the ground and tilted backwards, so when I saw Charlie with his hands on his hips standing by the door, he was upside down.

"So I think this is a good moment to say my peace," he said seriously, still scowling.

Edward tensed a little bit and sat back on his legs, and I looked at him for help, but he was too busy lost in the stare down with my uncle, a chastised look on his face. I scooted so I was sitting up too, afraid for some reason that Charlie was going to scold us like we were teenagers.

Sitting there for what felt like eternity, Charlie didn't say anything, and we didn't even think about moving.

With a deep breath, he finally let out a very loud, "It's about _damn_ time!" which confused me even more.

"What?" I asked, looking over at Edward who looked just as confused.

Holding up his pointer finger at us, he continued, "I would just like to say, I told you so! To both of you!" And then with a bow, he grabbed the handle of his oxygen tank behind him, and he rolled it back into the living room.

"I think that just happened," Edward deadpanned from beside me, but I was too busy looking at the now empty space by the entryway to look over at him.

"And you were afraid he was going to shoot you," I mocked, finally breaking out back into laughter.

"Oh, no you don't," he said, right before he tackled me back to the ground.

**O.o**

I would have loved for time to stand still, to never leave that moment, to be lost forever with Edward kissing me again on the kitchen floor, however, he had children to spend time with, and I had dinner for my Uncle and Seth to make. Leaving me with another kiss on the front porch, he ran off to his truck, getting wet all over again from the pouring rain, and waving to me as he pulled down the street.

"Oh, sweet baby Jesus," Charlie said as I walked in and collapsed on the couch.

I answered him with a very large smile in his direction.

"That boy has you struck all over again." He laughed. "And you're getting my couch wet," he said more seriously, pointing at me.

"Uncle Charlie," I answered in a dream like voice. "Please tell me that really happened."

"Get a grip, child," he berated, causing me to laugh in my seat.

"Hey, Bella," Seth began.

"Yeah, kid?"

"He really does make you happy, doesn't he?"

I was surprised with how dead serious he sounded, and when I looked over at him, he was looking at me with such concern. "Yeah, Seth, he does."

"I don't think I've ever seen you like this before," he continued from his spot on the chair on the other side of the room.

"What do you mean?"

"I think your face is going to break if you smile any bigger," he mocked, and I threw a pillow at him for it.

"Hey…you'll see. One day, I hope to God you experience happiness like this."

"It makes me happy to see you happy, baby," Charlie offered, and I turned my head to look at him, noticing tears in his eyes.

"Don't go getting soft on me, old guy," I broke through, my voice betraying the strength of my words.

"You've been through too much to not be this happy, Bella. And I'll say it again, it's about damn time, my child. I've only ever wanted you to be happy."

"God, Charlie, when did you turn into such a sap," I said while wiping the tears that fell down my cheeks.

"Is this like some serious family moment? Should I leave?" Seth asked, and I regretted not having another pillow to throw at him.

"Shut it, kid. You are family." I sniffed and tried to get it together. "Besides, where is that girl of yours? I clearly remember asking you to bring her over to get my approval. You're not slipping that past me, are you, boy?" I said seriously, even though there was a clear intention of trying to lighten the mood in my tone.

He smiled, and I was glad that it worked. "Yeah, I'll still bring her over."

"Good. And if Rebecca makes you as happy as you are, I'm sure there won't be a problem."

"You remember her name?" he asked incredulously.

"Come on, Seth, give me more credit than that. I'm about to go mama-bear on your ass, and that shit ain't pretty."

Tears swarmed in his eyes then, too, and this caused me to half-laugh-half-cry, my reaction seemingly contagious as Seth did the same. Charlie, however, used the remote to flick on the TV, and he mumbled, not so quietly, "Softies," which just made us laugh harder.

**O.o**

I woke up the next morning to sounds of drilling coming from outside my window. Crawling out of bed, I walked over to look out, noticing a whole group of half-naked people below me. Edward, Emmett, and Seth were all shirtless, and Emmett's three girls were dressed in only their bathing suits, laying out on towels and reading books.

I looked at the clock, noticing it was just past ten, and I was honestly surprised I had slept in so late. I didn't bother changing out of my cotton shorts and tanktop as I walked down stairs and into the kitchen. Uncle Charlie was perched at the table, struggling with the glasses on his face as he tried to read the newspaper.

"Morning," I said, the word coming out a lot more groggily sounding than I expected.

"I made an extra pot of coffee for you," was his form of greeting me.

"Ah." I smiled. "Good man!" I walked over and poured myself a large cup, adding in my spoonful of sugar and a good amount of creamer. "So would you mind telling me why exactly we have a nudist colony forming out in our backyard?"

He didn't even give my comment a second thought, being plenty used to the way I spoke by now. "Those Masen boys insisted this house was on the verge of collapse," he said, rolling his eyes. "So they have taken it upon themselves to play Bob-the-Builder."

"And the girls?"

He looked up over the top of the paper at me before shrugging and going back to whatever column had caught his attention. "Emmett thought it might be nice if they spent some time with you."

"Yeah?" I asked, taking another sip of my coffee.

"I think they could use some woman advice…or something," he dismissed, coughing lightly afterwards.

"You don't really think I'm the best one to give advice, do you?" I worriedly voiced.

"And why would you not be?" he stated harshly, becoming defensive as he glared my way.

"I just…I don't know. I'm a divorced woman in my forties with as much life experience as a sheep."

"A sheep? Really, Bella?" He rolled his eyes, making it very obvious. "That's the best you can come up with?"

"Oh, whatever. You know what I mean."

"No, I don't, actually," he fought, putting the paper all the way down on the table.

"Uncle Charlie," I started, trying to find the exact words to explain.

"Bella, you listen to me here. I'm sick and tired of you discounting yourself. You are a strong, intelligent woman who could really help those girls. There is absolutely no reason why you wouldn't be good enough to pass on advice to them. Now stop your self-deprecating bullshit and get on with it now." He huffed loudly, and when my silence and apologetic look told him that I got the message, he picked his paper back up and began to read again.

"Besides," he added after a minute, "their next best bet is Emmett, and he is the _last_ person they should turn towards for advice about boys…and such." He waved his hand in the air, and I had to at least smile at the one.

"Fine, but if they wind up working in a brothel one day, no one is allowed to shift the blame to me."

"Yeah, yeah, kid, just go put on some darn clothes and get out there. I think someone else might be a little bit excited to see you, too," he hinted with a sly smile.

"I keep trying to tell Seth that it's not going to happen between us," I deadpanned, earning a good chuckle from Charlie, which I hoped meant that I was forgiven.

I took my cup of coffee upstairs with me as I changed into my own bathing suit, no longer the skimpy bikini that I wore back in the '80s, but I didn't feel like too much of an old hag in it, either. I, however, still threw on a light dress to cover up the rest of my imperfections. After finishing my coffee, brushing my teeth, washing my face, and throwing my hair back in a ponytail, I trotted back downstairs and out the back door, grabbing my book on the counter on my way out.

"Well this is a nice sight to be greeted with in the morning," I spoke as I turned the corner and found the guys hard at work. I took in the sight of Edward especially – I couldn't help that I was a little biased – and quite enjoyed the view of his tan, defined back as he worked over the siding with a paintbrush. His head turned at the sound of my voice, and he winked at me, his smile evident for everyone to witness.

"Well, hi, yourself," he said, though he turned back to the house to keep working.

"Bella-bean!" Emmett greeted, smiling in my direction as well as he screwed nails into the house with the drill.

Seth must have not heard me, since he had headphones in, but when he went to get more paint on his paintbrush, he smiled and waved in my direction.

"I'm not paying you boys for this hard labor, am I?" I asked in a serious tone, crossing my arms across my chest, even though I was just giving them a hard time.

"Charlie promised your homemade lasagna," Emmett quickly responded, which made Edward just laugh from beside him.

"And what was that for, Mr. Masen?" I addressed Edward's obvious scoff at the lasagna comment.

"Oh nothing," he sang out, still moving the paintbrush back and forth.

"Is there a comment you would like to make on my cooking?" I tried again, trying to hide my oncoming smile.

He just shrugged. "Not at all."

"Yeah, I thought so, buddy."

He laughed at me then, and I chuckled as well, but I walked away from them and headed towards the girls.

"Hey, Bella," Anna greeted first, smiling at me as she was eating an apple.

"Hey, ladies," I said back, sitting down on an open space on the blanket. "Can I join you?"

"Sure," Molly said as she flipped a page in the book she was reading. Sydney was playing on some hand held gaming system thing and said a small hi in my direction.

It took a little while of talking about nothing between us, but eventually Molly surrendered whatever secret she was trying to keep and talked to me about it, Anna adding into the conversation when appropriate. And before we knew it, at least two hours had passed, and the four of us were lost in our giggles and squeals at boys they were dating, friends they loved to hate, and even talking about memories they had of their mom.

I took a moment to really look at them, the way Anna's green eyes shone with the maturity of a girl becoming a woman, the way Molly's wit kept everyone laughing, and how Sydney still held sweet innocence but yet had knowledge beyond her years. I wanted Rosalie here so badly to see how amazing her girls were growing up to be.

When Anna had asked me about sex, though, I thought I was going to vomit. I knew she was in college, older than I was when I had lost my virginity, but the topic still caught me off guard. Molly also listened with rapt attention as I explained the details of protection, the dangers that came with physical intimacy, and how important it was to wait until you were sure, because once you gave it away, you couldn't get it back, and how sometimes that could be the most gutting feeling in the world.

I tried to as best I could to explain to them that sex was a lot more important than it seemed like when you were just a teenager. I for one was especially ignorant to how it would affect me as a person, and I vividly remembered feeling like a shell, wanting nothing more than to take it back after the first time I had done it. I had craved my innocence so badly once it was gone.

But I knew, even if someone would have had this talk with me then, it wouldn't have changed what I did. I didn't think anything could have stopped us.

Anna was explaining her relationship with a boy named Ryan right as Edward and Emmett came back around the house, having made their way around the corner in the time we had spent talking.

"You ladies ready to head out?" Emmett asked, slipping his shirt back over his shoulders.

"Yeah, Dad," they sounded, gathering up their belongings with a promise to continue this conversation with me another time.

Edward stuck around after they left and took my hand, leading me out to the stables.

"Where are we going, Mr. Masen?" I asked coyly, enjoying the feel of his hand wrapped around mine.

"Ah, leading you away to your death," he mocked.

"Funny," I quipped sarcastically, pinching his side.

His laughter filled my ears, and it made me smile myself.

Once we were in the barn, he took a saddle off the wall and pulled out Jenna, placing it on her and leading her out into the field as I watched on the sideline. With one foot secured, he stood and swung his leg over the horse, sitting up straight.

"Well," he held his hand out for mine, "are you coming?"

With a smile, I lifted my hand to his, holding on tight as I swung up behind him, wrapping my arms around his bare, sweaty waist.

We didn't ride far, or for long, but it was quiet, peaceful, as I clung to him, being bold and placing light kisses on the back of his shoulders or side of his neck. We stopped on the other side of Charlie's land, no longer being able to see the house, and he jumped off, helping me once he was on the ground. He tied the reigns of the horse around a branch of a tree and collapsed down on the grass afterwards.

I decided to lie next to him, resting on my stomach as he was on his back. He placed his arms under his head, acting as a pillow of sorts, and he turned his gaze to the left so he could look at me. We were shaded by the trees around us, and it felt nice to get out of the sun, even though it didn't make that much of a difference with the heat as high as it was.

"Did you have fun today?" he asked with a smile.

"I did."

"You guys were laughing a lot. I think Emmett almost started crying at the sound."

"Why is that?" I chuckled, imagining a man the size of Emmett cry, even though I knew it was very possible.

"His girls sounded so happy."

"Ah," I smiled, although sadly, "that makes sense."

"They're such good kids."

"They are."

"I swear they have better heads on their shoulders than we did at that age," he remarked, sighing deeply.

"God, you're not kidding. I was thinking the same thing today when we were talking about…" I paused, not wanting to get into it, "um, things."

I knew the blush in my cheeks must have given me away, but I ducked my head down, trying to get away with it regardless.

Edward just laughed. "Some things just never change, do they, Bella?"

"I'm still just as awkward as I was when I was seventeen, don't worry." I rolled my eyes, knowing just how true it was.

Somehow he pushed my side and rolled me over almost effortlessly, and he hovered over top of me, looking down with a devilish smirk.

"I wouldn't be too sure of that," he said, light dancing behind his blue eyes.

"And you're obviously just as clueless if you can't see it, Masen," I rebutted.

"No…some things are the same, but you're different too. I can see it even in the way you move. You're more confident, sure of who you are. It's sexy."

"Sexy?" I laughed.

"Hmm-mmm," he agreed.

"I don't know about that."

"I do," he whispered, leaning down farther to kiss me, his whole body shifting and coming down to rest against mine.

I couldn't believe it had just been the day before that he had kissed me for the first time. It was effortless between us, and it took only seconds for things to get heated. His naked chest pressed against me, the thin fabric of my dress was quickly pulled up my legs and torso. Edward breaking our kiss as he removed the material from my body and flinging it across the field.

When I raised an eyebrow at him, he shrugged his shoulders, mumbling how he had wanted that gone all day, which only made me laugh in return.

The best part about this, though – making out with him almost naked – was that it wasn't awkward at all. I at least expected some hesitance and nerves to come from somewhere and present themselves, but they didn't. I wanted Edward with a passion that was undeniable, and it felt so good knowing that he felt the same way.

I felt him move above me, against me, and I felt the effects that this was having on him, but unlike when I was younger, I didn't back away. It only made me want him more, and I couldn't help the heavy breath that escaped me when he moved in the right spot, only being hindered by his basketball shorts and my bathing suit bottoms.

"Bella," he panted heavily into my neck, moving his hips against me again.

"Oh God," I cried out, my head falling farther back into the grass.

"We should stop," he said, although he didn't lift himself from me.

"I don't want to," I said honestly, my eyes glued shut as I tried to focus on all the amazing feelings that were coursing through me.

"Tell me to stop," he said again, the tone in his voice begging, and I knew when I opened up my eyes to look at him that stopping was the last thing he wanted to do.

I cursed the sudden thought of my sex talk with the girls that had only happened less than an hour before. He was right…we needed to stop, go slower. There was no need to rush anything.

"Damn-it." I sighed, pounding the grass in frustration.

With heavy resign, Edward lifted himself, coming to lie down beside me so our shoulders and the length of our arms were touching.

"Being adults sucks," he commented, earning a humorless laugh from me.

"Tell me about it."

Edward surprised me, though, as I felt him grab my hand and intertwine our fingers that rested side-by-side on the grass.

"Your skin feels good," he voiced after a few minutes, after both of us had caught our breaths.

"You know, I'm very fond of this whole you complimenting me business. Feel free to continue," I joked, squeezing his hand.

"Hmmm," he pretended to think. "Well, your lips taste good."

"Yeah?"

"Oh yes."

"Anything else?"

"Your body looks…amazing, Bella," he said, looking over at me.

I rolled my eyes and huffed, sure that he was full of it.

"I mean…if you don't believe the effect you have on me, feel free to do some research, and I'm sure your findings will be very _prominent. _If you need some _hands on_ research as well, I'm sure I wouldn't mind."

"Don't temp me, Masen." I laughed pretty loudly, not even blushing at his highly suggestive words.

"We should get back," he finally said less than a minute later.

"Why?" I pouted, enjoying our spot.

"Because if we don't leave now," he said, rolling back on top of me, "we never will." He kissed me chastely once more before hopping to his feet, holding out his hand for me to take.

I knew he was right, so I grabbed onto his hand, though once I was on my feet, I refused to let it go.

**O.o**

It was a few days later when I was in the kitchen, making dinner for the boys as a thank you for helping with the house earlier that week. The lasagna was hot when I pulled it out of the oven, and the glass dish grazed past the material of my oven mit, searing my skin on the inside of my wrist. Quickly putting the glass down on the top of the oven, I rushed over to the sink, turning on the cool water and allowing it to rush over my burning skin.

There was a horizontal white line appearing on the red skin of my left arm, and I quietly cursed to myself.

"What happened?" Edward walked into the kitchen from the living room, his face morphing into concern as he saw me hunched over the sink, arm in hand.

"Oh, nothing. I just burned myself when I took the lasagna out of the oven."

He came over and stood behind me, pressing his body into mine as his arms came around to take my wrist in his hands. He pulled it from the water for a few seconds as he surveyed the damage, lightly running his thumb around the white mark before putting back under the faucet.

Kissing the side of my neck, he whispered, "I'm sorry. Do you want me to take you to see a doctor?"

I shook my head, leaning back on his chest. "No, it's alright. I've survived worse." I smiled, turning my head, seeking his lips. He kissed me lightly before he ran his forehead against mine.

"Kiss me again," I asked, using the back of my arm to shut of the water. I maneuvered myself so that my back was pressed against the counter, and he came and stood directly in front of me.

"You need ice for your arm," he said softly, even though he wrapped his hands around my waist, getting the fabric of my shirt damp from his wet hand.

I rested my arms on his shoulders, careful to keep my left wrist turned up so it wouldn't touch anything, and pulled him closer to me. "It can wait."

Slowly inching forward, eyes roaming my face before closing, Edward seared his lips to mine, lifting his dry right hand to hold my cheek. He then pressed more of his weight into my body, and I ached in the best way at the added pressure. His slim hips moved in small circles, almost as if he was doing it unconsciously, against mine, and I absolutely loved the sensations it caused. Edward actually made me feel _desirable._

An old, worn out woman like me felt _wanted._ It was a feat only Edward could accomplish.

Things were just getting interesting between us when I heard screeching tires outside before a slamming of a door. Edward took his lips off mine, not bothering to move his body much as a look of confusion crossed his face.

"What was that?" he asked, tilting to the left to look out the window of the kitchen and into the yard.

"What's goin' on?" I heard Uncle Charlie call hoarsely from the living room.

When I heard a loud crash, Edward and I both looked at each other gravely before we took off running, out of the house, off the back porch, and into the yard towards the barn. _Seth was in the barn._ The hair on the back of my neck stood high at the thought of who could have been in there with him.

There was an old, beat up, rusted sedan in the gravel drive, but I had never seen that car before in my life. Edward, on the other hand, must have recognized it because a low, "Fuck," escaped him as we continued our path to the barn.

"YOU LITTLE SHIT," a woman screamed, and right as we ran through the door of the stables, we both saw as this woman lifted her hand and smacked Seth right across the face.

"Vanessa!" Edward yelled loudly, his voice becoming low and dangerous.

I, on the other hand, only saw the back of her head, but her stringy brown hair was unkempt and matched her torn jeans and too tight t-shirt. I didn't even think about what I was doing before I did it, and if Edward would have caught on, he probably would have held me back, but all I thought was _that woman just hit my child._ It was an impulsive thought; the first thing that came to mind.

So, just like any mother would have done…I tackled the bitch.

**O.o**

**End Notes:**

**Thoughts? **

**Review and you could get the answers next week instead of waiting! ;) **


	19. Chapter 19

**You guys continue to amaze me with your lovely reviews and support of this story! I am just blown away with your kindness. Thank you sincerely! **

**Ginginlee betas this madness, and lizzylillyrose, morethanmyself, and sammielynnsmom tear this apart so good to make it what it is. I love them for fixing my words. **

**Illicitwriter makes beautiful picteases for SW each week. Check them out on Twificnews, my facebook (kas fanfiction), my twitter kas90_ or my blog: inthelandofwordsandrob . blogspot . com**

**Also…this contains **_**situations**_** that are not appropriate for people who are under 18. Yes the irony that Bella is only 17 is not lost on me. However, if you want real good lemons that are definitely not appropriate for people under 18, go read Addicted by Lizzylillyrose. She's the only reason I don't pull every last hair from my scalp as I'm writing my pathetic attempts at anything citrus. **

…

_I kissed Edward before hopping off the ledge, and I waved to the rest of them, all hearing a chorus of 'goodnight's as I walked back into the house. My bedroom was dark, only being illuminated by the moon, and I kept it that way, not bothering to turn on the light as I opened the balcony door, wanting to hear the waves crash as I fell asleep. I climbed into the large bed, pulling the covers over me and falling on the pillow._

_I was out in seconds._

_I vaguely remembered another body joining me in the bed an unknown time later, but I was too deep into my sleep to turn around and see who it was. And as I felt the weight of the person behind me and an arm circle my waist, it only lulled me deeper into unconsciousness._

**Chapter 19**

**1987**

My body felt especially heavy in the bed, and I was way too hot for comfort. I struggled to come out of my sleeping-state, my eyes opening to a bright unfamiliar room, and it took me a second to remember where I was. The sounds of the ocean threatened to lull me back to sleep, but it was the deep breathing coming from behind me that was out of place, and that was when I noticed the arm pinning me down.

Slowly turning around as to not to wake the person, I only smiled and scooted in closer when I saw who it was. I didn't remember him joining me the night before, but it was a nice surprise to wake up to, to say the least.

My face was tucked into his naked chest, his chin resting atop my head, and his arms fell over me tightly. His breathing was still even and deep, so I was glad I hadn't woken him. I had never laid in bed with a man before, and I had to admit, this was nice. A yawn escaped my lips, and I closed my eyes in response, not at all complaining as sleep claimed me once again.

The next time I awoke that morning it was to a hand making patters down the length of my back, over the thin material of my tanktop. I hummed as fingertips danced across my body, barely grazing the hem of my shorts. I opened one eye first, taking in Edward's smiling face as he looked down at me.

His body was mirroring mine, facing me with the side of his head resting on the pillow. His blue eyes were wide and awake, glinting with way too much mischief for this early in the morning.

"What are you thinking?" I croaked out, closing my eyes again and sighing deeply.

"Well, good morning to you, too, baby."

I couldn't help but smile, opening my one eye again to look at him.

"What's that look for?" he asked, amused.

"I like it when you call me baby."

"Hmm, you do?" His smug tone was very much present, and he pulled me closer to him with the arm he had wrapped around me.

"It's kind of nice." I shrugged. "You know...if you're into that sort of thing."

I echoed his laugh and turned on the bed to lie on my back, putting my arms above my head and stretching, feeling my skin sting from being out so long in the sun the day before. The material of my tanktop lifted to expose my stomach, and Edward was quick to rub his hand across my abdomen.

"Are you always this touchy in the morning?" I teased. "I mean, not that I blame you or anything…"

Rolling his eyes, he just responded flatly, "Here I thought you didn't get your usual wit until at least one cup of coffee. Glad to see you proved me wrong."

"Hey," I argued. "I'm not responsible for my words or actions until I get my caffeine, so you better watch it, mister."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm not scared of you, Bella." He rolled above me, holding himself up with his hands that were next to my head, to prove his point. "Since I'm so much bigger…and stronger…and I do seem to have the upper hand here." His raised eyebrow mimicked his side smile, showing just how cocky he was.

"Don't doubt me, Mr. Masen. I'm a force to be reckoned with." I matched his arrogant stare with my own, my arms still above my head and my chest raised, not going unnoticed by him, might I add.

Laughing and leaning down to kiss me once, he said, "That you are, Bella," with an added deep sigh. "That you are."

**O.o**

Edward and I headed downstairs a little while later, sure that people were probably awake by then since it was already going on eleven. Riley and Rachel were in the kitchen when we walked in, and I was happy to see the pot of coffee still halfway full.

"Morning, y'all," Rachel greeted, flipping the pancakes in the skillet.

"Mmm," Edward hummed excitedly, taking a seat next to Riley at the island. "Pancakes are my favorite!"

Rachel just smiled at him before pouring more of the batter onto the hot surface. "So do you guys want to spend a few hours on the beach or just head home?" she asked, not looking up from counter.

"It doesn't look that pretty out," Riley commented. "It honestly looks like it's going to storm again."

"Seriously?" She huffed, putting the cooked pancakes on a plate. "How many times is it going to freakin' storm this summer? I'm so tired of it!"

"Where's Emmett?" Edward asked, mouth full since he had swiped a cooked pancake from the plate next to the skillet.

"He and Tanya went running on the beach."

"Ha!" Riley laughed out loud. "God bless 'em."

Edward nodded his head in agreement. "You are not lying, my friend."

"We can wait for them to make a decision, I guess, but I wouldn't mind going home," Rachel said. "I have plans for later tonight," she added on more slyly.

"Ohhh, what kind of plans?" Edward asked, lightly mocking her.

"Does our little Rachy have a date?" Riley added to the teasing.

"For your information," she smiled widely, looking between the boys, "I do."

"Uh oh! Who's the guy?" Riley inquired before taking a sip of his orange juice.

"That, my darlings, is for me to know, and for you…to, well, not." She laughed at the end, finishing up the pancakes and dividing them evenly on plates.

"You'll spill it eventually, Rachy," Edward commented as she handed him the first plate. "You could never resist telling me and Riley all your dirty secrets."

Riley laughed and nodded as Edward ended his speech with a wink in her direction.

"I bet Rachel will tell me, won't you, Rachel?" I smiled as I poured syrup on my plate.

"Sure, I'll tell you, Bella." She chuckled, and we all picked up our plates to take them to the table so we all could sit down together.

"Why the hell does she get to find out?" Riley complained, sitting at the head of the table, Rachel to his left, me to his right, and Edward sitting down beside me.

"It's a girl-thing, Riley," Rachel said as if was bluntly obvious. "Bella, if you want to come over later tonight, maybe help me get ready, spend some girl time together, that would be great." She sounded so enthusiastic and genuine, and I smiled in response.

"Yeah, that sounds good."

"Why don't we all go out together?" Edward practically shouted, and we all looked over at him strangely, myself included, at his outburst.

Rachel just laughed. "I don't think so, honey."

"What, why not?" he said more lightly, shrugging his shoulders with a crocked smile on his face. "We could all go out, have a good time."

Rachel just looked at him flatly. "No."

"Yo, Edward, we could have boy's night instead," Riley offered, looking down at his plate.

There was a pause as Edward looked at me before glancing up to Riley. "Yeah, we can do that, man," he agreed, even though I felt like his enthusiasm was a little forced. "See, ladies, we don't need you after all." He looked pointedly at Rachel when saying this, but only winked at me when I met his eyes.

Emmett and Tanya came back right as we were cleaning up the dishes, and the rain started not long after that. We spent the next hour cleaning up the house, packing our bags, and loading the car. The ride back wasn't too bad. Edward sat in the back with me this time, and he wasn't shy at all when it came to holding my hand in his. Conversation continued to flow easily between us, Riley and Edward especially.

I got lost during a lot of it, them bringing up old memories or talking about their old baseball days, but I was happy just listening to the soft music playing in the background and watching the scenery pass us by.

"So, Bella, do you want to come over to my house around six?" Rachel asked as we pulled into Uncle Charlie's driveway.

"Yeah, that sounds good," I agreed, knowing that I needed to ask Charlie if I could borrow his truck.

She gave me directions to her place, since I couldn't remember how to get there from memory, and Edward helped me grab my bag from the back of the Jeep, walking me up to the front door while Ri and Rach waited in the car.

"I had fun this weekend." He smiled down at me as he placed the bag by the front swing.

I matched his smile and stood on my toes to kiss him goodbye. "I did, too. Have fun with Riley tonight."

He just rolled his eyes and stepped away, stepping down the first step. "Oh, yeah. Always do."

With a last wave to him, I opened the door and pulled my stuff inside.

"Hi, baby," Uncle Charlie called from the kitchen, and when I walked in, he was busy grabbing a beer from the fridge. "Did you have a good time?"

I heard air release from the can as he opened it, taking a long sip. "Yeah, it was great. The ocean was a lot of fun."

He smiled at me and leaned against the counter, scratching the back of his head. "You look tired."

I lazily matched his smile. "I am."

"Well, why don't you get upstairs and relax a while. I'll carry your bag up for you here soon."

"Thanks, Uncle Charlie."

I walked over and gave him a hug before leaving the kitchen. "You're welcome, baby," he said after me.

**O.o**

I ended up falling asleep almost immediately when I laid down, and Charlie woke me up a little past four, not wanting me to sleep my whole day away. When six o'clock rolled around, Charlie had no problem letting me borrow his car to drive to Rachel's.

The entrance gate was opened when I arrived, and I carefully maneuvered his large car up the drive, seriously worried I would hit one of the ridiculous statues that lined the path.

I knocked on the door a few times, fidgeting as I stood and waited.

"Oh look who it is," a voice sounded, and I looked up to see Jamie standing there, shirtless with a beer in hand.

"Hi, Jamie. Is Rachel here?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Hmmm," he hummed, leaning against the siding and looking me over. "You must have forgotten about the entrance fee." He looked amused, and something about the way he sounded just bothered me.

"Come on, Jamie, just let me in," I said, exasperated.

"Oh, Bella, Bella, Bella, don't you know the rules?"

"What do you want, Jamie?" I sighed and accompanied it with an eye roll.

"Now _that_ is a loaded question." Laughing, he finally stepped aside. "Come on in, sweet cheeks. Rach is upstairs."

I didn't even look at him as I mumbled my thanks. Rachel's door was opened, but I still knocked on the side wall before I walked in.

"Hey, Rachel," I called, and she emerged from the bathroom with rollers in her hair and dressed in only a robe.

"Oh, hey, Bella! You're just in time! I need help picking out an outfit for tonight."

She looked really excited as she practically danced to her closest, pulling the double doors open with enthusiasm.

"So who is the lucky guy that you're getting all dressed up for?" I asked lightly as I sat on the bed, kicking my shoes off before I tucked my feet underneath me.

"Oh, Bella," she turned around and smiled widely, "can you keep a secret?"

"Uh, sure." I shrugged, waiting for her to continue.

Instead she walked over to the bed, climbing up and mirroring my position, taking my hands so I turned a bit to face her.

"Okay, seriously, you can't tell anybody."

"I don't get what the big deal is." Who would be there to tell…unless she didn't want Edward to find out.

"Okay, so do you remember when we went shopping for the beach?" she asked with the same energy, and she honestly looked the cat who ate the canary.

"Um, yeah?" I offered, not having any idea where she was going with this.

"Well, it got me thinking, and I just so happened to run into Jake when we got back…"

_Ahh…_understanding clicked with me.

"You're going on a date with Jacob Black?" I asked warily, knowing just why she wouldn't want to tell Edward.

She just smiled and squealed a little bit as her cheeks turned red. "Isn't it exciting!"

"I don't get why that's really exciting," I couldn't help but say. "Won't Edward be super pissed when he finds out?"

She rolled her eyes and waved her hand in the air before hopping the bed. "Edward will never find out. Besides, if he does, it's none of his business."

I tried to see if there was some underlining meaning beneath her words, but she turned and walked back to her closet before I could judge her face that closely.

"Are you trying to make Edward jealous?" I blurted out, unmeaning to.

"What?" she asked in a pitch too high. "Of course not. Bella, that is just silly. Like I told you before," she looked at me with intention, "I am not interested in Edward. He's yours for the taking."

I just nodded, and that seemed to be enough to end the conversation.

I felt a little awkward, knowing that I was there to help her go out with a man that had hurt Edward so deeply, but Rachel being Rachel knew how to lighten the mood almost effortlessly. There was no doubt about it that she had a good spark about her, a specific energy that radiated from her, making her good mood almost infectious.

I left her house about an hour after I had gotten there, not really wanting to see Jacob as he picked her up for their date. She didn't give me many specifics on where they were going, and honestly, I didn't really ask for any, either. But she made me promise before I left the house again that I wouldn't say anything to Edward, and I assured her that she had my word.

**O.o**

Walking back into Uncle Charlie's house, I was surprised to see that he wasn't sitting in his usual spot in the living room. I went into the kitchen and his bedroom, not seeing him there, either. The back door was wide open, so I followed the path to the barn and heard sounds from inside as I walked in.

"Hey, Uncle Charlie." I smiled in greeting, watching him as he spread out some fresh hay in one of the stables.

"Hi, Bells. How was Rachel?"

"Oh, she was good."

"She's goin' on a date, huh? Anyone I know?"

I paused, braiding the ends of my hair as a distraction. "Um, can I talk to you about something, actually?" I hesitated, looking up to see that he had stopped what he was doing mid motion.

"Of course you can, darlin'," he responded, sitting down on one of the unopened barrels of hay. I continued standing, though, switching my weight from one foot to the other.

"Well, she made me promise not to tell Edward who she was going on a date with…"

"Uh huh," he said warily, urging me to continue.

"I don't know much about Jacob, but from what I've heard, he isn't the best guy."

Recognition passed across Charlie's face, and he took in a deep breath. "She's going out with Paul Black's son?" He dipped his head down as his hand rested on the back of his neck.

"Jacob Black, yeah. I guess he used to be pretty good friends with Edward."

"Jake used to be a good kid, Bells. They came around here often, he and Edward. Used to ride a lot before Edward started workin' for me. But stuff happened in that boy's life that he just couldn't cope with, so he lashed out. Unfortunately, most of that anger was taken out on the Masen kid, but it was other people he hurt, too. I'm going to be honest with you, Bella," he paused, looking at me, "that kid just needs somebody to love him, take care of him. He doesn't get any of that at home."

"So do you think it's safe for Rachel to be dating him?"

He just shrugged. "It's not like she's putting herself in danger by being around him. I don't think he would ever touch a woman; he just is quick with his mouth and can anger a lot of people. But, who knows, maybe Rachel is exactly what he needs."

I couldn't help the humorless chuckle that escaped. "Do you really think that, Uncle Charlie?"

He stood up now and got back to work. "You never know, kid. Sometimes it only takes one person to change somebody's life around."

I smiled and stood there for a second, taking in his words before saying thanks and heading back into the house.

**O.o**

I decided to take it easy that night, taking a long bath and going up to my room early, wanting to read more of the book that I had ignored this weekend. Charlie went to bed pretty soon after me, claiming he was tired from working out back all day. It was just past ten that night when I felt myself dozing off, the plot of my book not being enough to keep me awake.

A clicking noise coming from my window jolted me up, and I blinked my eyes rapidly, hearing another sound come from across the room. I climbed out of bed, dressed in just an oversized t-shirt, and tiptoed over to where the sound was coming from. It was then that I saw a small rock crash against the glass, only to fall back down to the ground.

Prying the window open, I stuck my head out, not surprised to see Edward standing down below.

"Well, hi, there," he said, dropping the pile of pebbles in his hand.

"What on earth are you doing?" I laughed, leaning against the seal and smiling at him.

"You know…just hangin' out. Throwing rocks at your window is just one of my favorite past-times. Didn't you know? You should try it some time."

"It's that fun, huh?" I queried, smirking at his cheekiness.

"Hmm-mmm. Want to know what else I enjoy doing in my free time?" he asked, although his volume was low as to not wake Charlie.

"What's that?"

"Sneaking into your room."

This made me laugh. "You're lucky Charlie isn't awake. What would you have done if he had heard you out here?"

He looked guilty, shuffling the grass at his feet. "I kind of knew he had already gone to bed."

"Stalking much, Mr. Masen? You're like my very own peeping-tom."

"Hey…you would too if your life was in jeopardy."

I just rolled my eyes. "You need to get that out of your head, big guy. My uncle isn't actually going to kill you."

"Let's just be thankful he can't read minds, because I would be that much closer to my grave."

"Do I even want to know?" I laughed, not being able to help it.

"Nope," he popped. "Now, are you going to let me come up or not?"

"Do I have a choice in the matter?" I teased, challenging him.

Shaking his head, he joined me in my laughter. "Not really."

"Well, in that case, there's a ladder in the barn if you want to use that to get up here," I offered, not wanting him to climb the tree. Edward was athletic and all, but even his coordination wasn't equipped to take on that specific adventure.

"Okay, I'll be right back."

It took only about ten minutes for Edward to grab the ladder and climb up to my window.

"You should be a fireman," I remarked, laughing as I watched him climb through the small space.

"And why is that, baby?"

"I don't know…I feel like you're here to rescue me from a burning building or something."

He just smirked as he straightened up, walking over to where I stood at the foot of my bed and wrapping his arms around me.

"Do I get to wear a cool yellow helmet?" He chuckled.

"And those awesome fire jackets."

"Can I use an ax?"

"Only if I'm trapped."

"Would you think I'm sexy, in my uniform and all?" he asked in his usual playful tone as his blue eyes danced with humor.

"So sexy. I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off of you."

"Damn straight," he answered with an added chuckle.

"So how was boy's night?" I changed the direction of the conversation, sitting down on the edge of my mattress.

"It was fun. Riley is always a good time to hang out with."

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself." I smiled sincerely. "Riley is a good guy."

I had to admit, I was liking Riley more after spending time with him at the beach. When we were all in the ocean, he was actually really funny, and he had seemed to include me in conversation a lot more than he had before. He was just simple, and Edward really liked him.

"Yeah, Riley is solid. You know what else is awesome, though?" he asked, and I knew _that_ face immediately.

"Edward," I warned, taking in his darkening look.

"You…without pants on." His smirk was one of the gods as he joined me on the bed and ran his hand up my uncovered thigh.

"You do know my uncle is right downstairs."

"Yeah…he's asleep, too. I'm not stupid." He gave me a pointed look. "Now…I've been waiting all day to kiss you again. Really kiss you."

"You need a new hobby," I joked, "if kissing me is all you can think about."

"It's just not kissing you," he said under his breath. "Lie back?" he continued, although it wasn't a command as much as it was a question.

I complied, scooting up the bed so I could rest my head on the pillow. Edward was quick to kick off his shoes, and he scooted up so he was lying beside me, using an arm to prop up his head as his other hand rested on my bare knee closest to him.

"I really like touching you," he admitted, and my cheeks reddened in embarrassment.

"I like it when you touch me," I murmured as his hand continued higher, ever so slowly.

"I want to make you feel good." His breath was hot on my neck as he came down to kiss the sensitive skin, and my eyes closed as my breath hitched at the contact.

"You do?" I asked shakily.

"Yes," he whispered, shifting effortlessly so he was now directly above me, my legs slipping to either side of his hips. My shirt rose enough that he could see my blue cotton underwear, but he didn't say anything or pull my shirt down as he looked me over. I couldn't help but tense under his scrutiny.

"Is this too much, too fast?" he asked, his body settling against mine.

"Um, no," I stuttered, wrapping my arms around his neck.

I knew that I just needed to start kissing him. As soon as we would kiss, my nerves would calm down, and I would be more excited for the prospect of him touching me. _This was what I wanted, right?_ I knew I felt it in the core of my stomach, in the chills that rose on my skin. My hormones were all over the place, begging for Edward's touch, but my head was swimming with doubt and insecurities.

I just prayed that Edward didn't notice.

"I need you to lead this," I blurted out honestly. "I don't know what I'm doing."

He smiled and leaned in to kiss my lips. "I've got you," he whispered. "Just relax, and you can always tell me to stop, okay?"

His words made me feel marginally better, and I nodded, smiling as he came back down to place his lips on mine. Our tongues met, and he groaned, shifting again so one hand held onto my cheek as his other hand ran up and down the length outside of my right leg.

"Your skin is so soft," he voiced, only breaking our kiss for a moment.

I hummed, not really having any other answer, and kissed him again. I liked how he tasted like cinnamon, and his cheek had stubble on it that felt good and rough against my own cheek and under my palms as I held his face.

His free hand traveled, up my left leg and over my t-shirt, gripping my waist before continuing his path north. I wasn't sure as to what do to with my arms or my hands, so they just switched between holding his jaw or scratching the back of his head. _Just focus on kissing,_ I reminded myself. _Relax…let him lead…just kiss him._

I repeated this in my head, not wanting to mess this up. I needed to just enjoy this…having Edward here, in my room, on my bed. I just wish I could take my head out of this and just live this moment and not worry about the specifics. _Just go with it…_

I couldn't help but breathe out heavily as his thumb grazed the side of my covered breast and then again when he got bolder and placed his entire hand over it, squeezing me gently. I had to stop kissing him as the shot of pleasure raced through me, and when I opened my eyes, Edward was watching me, squeezing me again.

"Does that feel good?" he asked, a huskiness evident in his deep voice.

"Yes," I breathed out, shutting my eyes again, not being able to meet his stare.

He didn't prod me to open my eyes again, instead he went back to kissing me and released my breast, moving his hand back down my torso to rest on my hip. Without even realizing I was doing it, I moved my hips under his, bending my knees and holding him tightly. This made Edward groan deep in his throat as he rubbed himself against me.

I felt how aroused he was, but I was glad that it didn't freak me out as much as it had done this past weekend. After feeling it, seeing how good it made Edward feel when I touched him, gave me more courage. I moved my hands down his back, putting pressure on him so he would come even closer.

Using the hand that was on my hip, he hooked it under my knee, moving it to wrap around his waist. The next time his hips moved, I felt how much better it was this way, and I moved my other leg to match.

"God, Bella," he practically panted, being more intentional with the way his body moved against mine.

I felt myself become wet down there, and I was momentarily mortified that Edward would notice. _That's so disgusting,_ I thought, never having experienced it before. But Edward didn't say anything, for his mouth was too busy for words, but his hand left my knee and explored some more. This time, though, he went under my large shirt, pushing it up slightly as he found my bare breast, no bra to get in his way.

It felt so much better without the shirt covering me, and I was almost embarrassed at the noise that I released. It only seemed to fuel Edward on, however, and he became just that more intentional and forceful with his touches. But it wasn't too much. It was so, so good.

I was breathing so heavily at this point that I felt I would never be able to catch my breath, and the way he was making me feel, _God,_ I just wanted more.

_More, farther, please,_ I begged inside my mind, not having enough courage to say it aloud to Edward. But he seemed to take the hint anyway, and when I felt him lift himself from my body, I opened my eyes and watched as he grabbed the edge of my shirt, lifting it above my head.

He was kneeling between my spread legs as I was displayed below him, only dressed in my blue underwear. Picking up my wrists and squeezing them tightly, he placed them above my head.

"Keep them there," he ordered softly, not meeting my eyes as he took my almost naked form. "Oh, Bella," he sighed, running his hands down my arms, shoulders, across my breasts, and down my stomach. They grabbed my waist for a second before his hand traced across my stomach and lightly touched my skin, skimming downwards so his thumb moved along the center of my spread legs, sending a jolt through my entire body. I knew he could feel how wet I was through the cotton, but I just really, really hoped he didn't care.

He made the same path again, going backwards and forwards as he increased the pressure, and it felt just that much better. _Again,_ I pleaded, yet only to myself.

"You are so beautiful, Bella." He moved so he was lying beside me, his head propped with his arm.

"I feel so naked here," I made the most obvious comment in the world. But looking at Edward, who was still fully dressed, only added to my embarrassment.

Edward got the hint and removed his hand from my body, my legs automatically closing, and he lifted his own shirt over his head. "Is that better?" he asked with a smile, and I ran my fingertips down his abs.

"Yes." I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, feeling as he leaned down to kiss my neck. "Will you touch me again?" I asked out quickly, even though I was ashamed to voice such a request.

He didn't answer me verbally, but his hand provided the only response I desired. Starting slowly, he ran it back down my stomach, and he nudged my closed legs apart.

"Can I touch you here?" he asked, and I didn't open my eyes as I nodded my head.

He slipped underneath the thin cotton material this time, and used his first two fingers instead of his thumb, but he made the same patterns across me as he had done before, all of which made my breathing hitch and come back out with force.

I covered my face with my hands, trying to muffle the ridiculous noises that were coming out of my mouth. But my hips seemed to start reacting with a mind of their own as they pushed against his fingers, and soon they were moving in match with his hand. It felt tight and hurt at first when he first put a finger inside of me, but he made small circles, and the more he did it, the better it felt.

I wasn't sure how long he worked me over, but after a while, it got uncomfortable, and every time he would graze the top part of me, it would hurt.

"Okay," I breathed out, and he stopped.

"Are you alright?" he asked, looking at me with a worried expression.

"Yeah…I'm just…" He must have seen how uncomfortable I looked, because he pulled his hand away and leaned down to kiss me chastely.

"Okay," he answered.

I took another deep breath, again not knowing what to do, and I felt all that more exposed than I had earlier, even though the state of my undress hadn't changed.

"It's getting late," he said. "I should get back."

I smiled sadly at him, but part of me was relieved. He went to the floor and passed me my shirt before he put his own on. His eyes refused to meet mine, though, and it felt ten degrees cooler in the room than it had before.

"Can I see you tomorrow?" I asked, suddenly worried that I had done something wrong and that he wouldn't want to come over. Insecurities wracked through my body, and doubt filled my mind. I knew my voice sounded pathetic and a little clingy, my usual wit and strength nowhere to be found.

I couldn't help but think _too much, too fast,_ over and over in my head.

"Yeah," he answered simply. "I'll call you."

With another quick kiss on my lips, again refusing to meet my eyes, he slid on his shoes and climbed out of my window.

I collapsed back on my bed, fully embarrassed, my heart feeling as though it had sunk out of my chest, and I cried myself to sleep.

**O.o**

**END NOTES:**

**Don't flame me. If you were 17 once and did what B/E have done, you know how insecurities and doubt hit you like a truck in a blink of an eye. And if you haven't lived that, I'm very jealous of you. Lord knows my boyfriend at 17 put up with more than enough tears from me. **

**Okay, remember…they are just teens. I don't want your hate mail. **

**Passed 500 reviews, so you'll get another chapter this week! - ps, so excited about that, btw! **


	20. Chapter 20

**AN—You people amaze me. Thank you for your support, reviews, recs, love, and investment you have put into this story. I truly expected to get so many hateful reviews last chapter, and that just wasn't the case. Most of you could really relate to Bella, and I was so happy you understood what was happening to her. **

**Amazing thanks to the incredible group of women who take the time to work on this story. My darling beta, Ginginlee, and my fantastic and insightful prereaders, Sammielynnsmom, Lizzylillyrose, and Morethanmyself. A simple thank you will never be enough. **

**If you want picteases or chapter previews, follow me on twitter: kas90_ facebook: kas fanfiction or my blog: inthelandofwordsandrob(dot)blogspot(dot)com **

**I don't own Twilight or the song, **_**Strawberry Wine **_**(even though I know that this week –thanks to Laura—the song is only 69 cents on iTunes) **

…

_"YOU LITTLE SHIT," a woman screamed, and right as we ran through the door of the stables, we both saw as this woman lifted her hand and smacked Seth right across the face._

_"Vanessa!" Edward yelled loudly, his voice becoming low and dangerous._

_I, on the other hand, only saw the back of her head, but her stringy brown hair was unkempt and matched her torn jeans and too tight t-shirt. I didn't even think about what I was doing before I did it, and if Edward would have caught on, he probably would have held me back, but all I thought was that woman just hit my child. It was an impulsive thought; the first thing that came to mind._

_So, just like any mother would have done…I tackled the bitch._

**Chapter 20**

**2010**

The force at which I hit the woman sent the air flying from my lungs as we both landed with a loud thud on the dirty wooden floor of the old barn. She was lying face down, and I had just enough time to prop myself up with my hands to get a good elbow-to-the-neck action in, _no, I wasn't afraid to fight dirty,_ when I felt someone restrain both of my arms, pinning my elbows and dragging me up.

I hadn't even noticed the stream of obscenities coming from my mouth until I was in the air, kicking at whoever was holding onto me.

"Let me go!" I yelled, trying to aim some of my kicks at the sorry excuse for the woman who was still lying on the floor.

It was when I saw Edward kneel down beside said sorry shit that I realized it was Seth who was holding onto me. I stopped kicking immediately.

"Is she okay?" I heard Seth ask from behind me, still having my arms in his grasp.

Edward turned the woman over, and I saw the rise and fall of her chest, as well as the black and blue mark appearing on her face. _Good,_ I thought, _I hope that's from me._

"I think she's passed out."

"From the hit?"

Edward looked up and met Seth's eyes, shaking his head. "My guess is the alcohol."

I heard Seth mutter, "Damn," quietly under his breath as he released me, walking over and throwing himself down on a bench by the wall.

My head was swimming. "What…what…who the hell is that?" I spat, pointing disgustingly to the woman.

"That," Seth began, eyes rising to my face, "is my mother."

"She hit you," I said without thinking, the first thought escaping my lips.

He just shrugged. "She's drunk."

"It doesn't matter." I heard my voice rising, hate filling my words.

"Bella, please, let it go."

"Let it go!"

"Bella," Edward called from Vanessa's side, finally standing up.

"What, Edward?" I challenged, hands on my hips. "Are you trying to tell me that it doesn't matter? That I should just ignore it?"

"It doesn't matter," Seth said more loudly from the corner.

I, however, refused to acknowledge his refusal. "Edward?" I continued, waiting for him to speak.

"What do you want me to say, Bella? There are things here that you don't know."

"Well, my God, please, then, someone enlighten me!"

"She's a drunk, Bella, she doesn't know what she's doing," Seth defended.

I continued to stare Edward down, wanting so badly for him to step up and do something, because this was the last straw. I was calling social services back later today, and the only way Seth was going back into that house with his pathetic mother was over my cold dead body.

"We'll figure this out, okay?" Edward said soothingly, stepping closer to me and running his hands down the length of my arms.

I just shook my head, closing my eyes. _Damn it,_ I cursed to myself. I was an adult; I was supposed to know what to do. Hell, if I were Seth, I would expect me to know what do to. And if Edward and I didn't do anything, we were only failing him in the end.

Ignoring Edward, I turned my head to the boy in the corner who looked much younger than his sixteen years. Walking over to him, I smoothed out his cheek with the back side of my fingers, seeing the red mark from where she hit him starting to appear.

"It doesn't matter if she drinks, Seth. You deserve better. You are _better_." I leaned down and placed a soft kiss on his burning cheek, the tear that fell from his eye covered by my lips. "I'll fight for you." I got the last words out just as my throat locked up, the look on this boy's face completely breaking me. I stood and turned then, knowing that I wouldn't be able to keep from causing the drunken woman any harm if I stayed in the stables.

Neither of the men followed behind me, and I just prayed to God that Edward was being the strong man that Seth needed right now. I no longer could hold the tears at bay when I reached the porch steps, and I walked into Charlie's house, my presence announced by the sound of my sobs.

"Baby?" I heard Uncle Charlie call from the living room, followed by a hoarse cough.

I walked in and lay on the couch, face down, and cried into the pillow.

"My goodness, child. What on Earth is the matter?"

"I don't…I can't…what the hell am I gonna do? Seth…his mom…he can't go back there," I cried almost incoherently.

"Bella, look at me, baby," he soothed, and I lifted my heavy head to his gaze. "Now you need to stop this right now."

"But…"

"No buts, baby. Now tell me why you're all a mess."

"I need to help him, Charlie. He's just a kid."

"Okay, okay," he repeated in a gentle voice, trying to bring me down from my hysterics. "We need to take one step at a time here, child. Just breathe, focus, baby, don't give yourself a panic attack."

I tried to take a deep breath in, but the weight and pressure that I felt pinned me down, making it impossible to take a full breath. "He can't go back there. She's a drunk; his father is no better. It was different when it was only his dad that hurt him because we made sure that Seth was out of the house when he was home, but now that I saw her strike him with my own eyes...God, Charlie, I attacked the woman!"

"You attacked her?"

"I just…something inside of me just reacted."

"Bella…"

"Don't lecture me on that, okay, please? I just…I know I've only been back here for a little while, Charlie, but I feel…I need to protect him. I _want_ to protect him and love him and care for him."

"Do you love him?" he asked, looking at me knowingly.

"Yes," I answered on instinct, and it all hit me so suddenly. "I would give my life for him."

"Well, Bella, that sounds a whole lot like what a mother would say."

I looked up and met his eyes, pausing for a second as my tears finally stopped.

"What are you going to do, Bella?" he asked when I hadn't spoken.

_What am I going to do?_

Charlie just smiled and leaned back in his chair. "Can I tell you something?" he asked, a sense of serenity taking over his features.

"Um…yes, of course," I answered.

"I know you think I've never known the love of a woman, that I've spent my whole life alone," he began, much to my surprise. "But, honey, that isn't the exact truth."

"Okay," I pressed, sitting up from the couch and resting my forearms on my knees.

"It's been many years since this has happened, so please forgive me for my fleeting memory, but I first met this woman about a year before you were born. She was a beauty…smart, funny, a real gem. But when everything happened with your father, I left, knowing that you and your mother needed me, that you were more important. You were—are—the most important."

"Uncle Charlie," I started sadly, the tears burning again behind my eyes.

"Just listen, baby… This woman, she didn't understand, she didn't get it. I stayed with y'all for a few years, and when I came back here, she was married with a child of her own."

"I'm so sorry." I breathed out heavily, shaking my head.

"You don't get it, Bella. I'm not. I'm not sorry. Because, for you, I would give my life. Giving your life doesn't always mean burying yourself six feet under; it means making choices that completely surround the one you love, because, Bella, they are worth it. When you say you would give your life for Seth, as if he were your own son, then do it and _mean_ it. If you're going to be the mother that he needs, I don't want you to half-ass anything. He deserves more. He's worth more.

"Don't make false promises to me or to him, child. If you're going to do it, then my God, baby, God bless ya."

As his words sank in, I wiped the remaining tears from my cheeks, and took the deep breath that I knew I needed to take. This wasn't about me, or Edward, Charlie, and really it wasn't fully about Seth. This was life…and life needed me to stand up and make a damn decision.

So I did.

I walked upstairs, with a resolve I didn't think I had in me, and I picked up my cellphone from the corner of my desk. Scrolling through the numbers until I found the name I needed, I pressed send, listening as it rang in my ear.

As the ringing turned into the familiar sounds of a voice mail machine, I took one last breath, knowing that this was it.

"Andrew? Yes, this is Bella…I was just calling about the status of my position at Clark Publishing. There are things that I need to discuss with you regarding my permanent residence, and I would appreciate a call back so we could discuss the matter. Thank you."

**O.o**

The next day, my phone rang early, and I sprinted up the stairs to try and catch it before it went to voicemail. I was still dressed in my pajamas, having only woken about a half hour beforehand. Seth and Charlie were both down in the kitchen, the potatoes and eggs on the burner being left unattended.

I thought it would have been Andrew's number, calling me back after the message I had left him yesterday; however, I wasn't so lucky.

"Hello?" I spat, cursing myself immediately afterwards for even picking the damn thing up.

"Bella!" the voice let out, sounding surprised. "Look at that, you finally answer one of my calls."

I just rolled my eyes, sitting down at the edge of my bed and resting my head in my hand. "Can I help you with something?" I asked, no kindness evident in my tone.

"Bella, come on, darlin'," he said more sadly. "I just…I just wanted to talk to you…hear your voice."

"Hear my voice," I mused with an edge. "That's just fantastic. Well, _darling,_ I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I have other things that I need to take care of than entertain your need to _hear my voice,"_ I barked back in the most sarcastic tone I could muster that early in the morning.

"I don't appreciate that, Bells," he scolded, much to my amusement.

"Can I tell you something?" I laughed then, my heart coming back to life when I looked out my window and saw a _very_ familiar truck pull up. "I'm tired of your games, I'm tired of you calling me, and I have absolutely no interest in ever hearing your voice again, so _I _would_ appreciate_ you stop trying to reach me. Your tricks are getting old."

"I have no tricks here, Bella!"

"Oh…and another thing," I added, interrupting him. "Congratulations on your baby."

I hung up the phone, biting my tongue at the words that had come from my mouth. _Why the hell did I even answer?_ I thought, kicking myself for my stupidity. But if I were being honest, I _hated_ the fact that he kept calling. Especially after my call to Andrew about moving to North Carolina permanently, I had never been so ready to sever all ties of my home in Ohio.

There was a knock on my door a couple minutes later, and I turned my head to see Edward peek in.

"Hi." He smiled. "May I come in?"

I returned his smile and nodded, scooting over on the edge of the bed so he would have room to fit next to me.

"Thank you for taking Vanessa home yesterday," I started, leaning my head on his shoulder.

Wrapping his arm around me, he kissed the top of my head. "You're welcome. How was Seth here last night?"

I just shrugged. "Same as any other night, I guess. He didn't want to talk about it, and he and Charlie watched sports on that damn TV until he fell asleep on the couch. Peggy said she would be back here next week to do some reevaluation." I couldn't help but roll my eyes. _A week._ But instead of complaining about the glitches in the social care system, I focused on the fact that Seth wasn't going back there.

Edward just nodded at my comment in understanding, and his head turned and looked around the room. I couldn't help but chuckle at the expression on his face.

"Bring back some memories?" I laughed, following his gaze.

"Can I tell you something that was really weird?" he asked lightly, looking at me. "After all these years, the first time I was in here was when Lana and Pat slept in your bed when Rach and I separated. It was unreal bringing my _children_ into this bedroom!" He laughed then, pulling at his hair. "I swear I almost bolted those windows shut."

I laughed with him. "That is kind of morbid," I agreed. "But Lana is only ten…"

He just shuddered. "As soon as she hits puberty, I'm locking her away."

"Good luck with that one."

He turned and winked at me, and I really did love seeing his smile. It was just what I needed to melt my anger-harboring heart, thoughts of my ex-husband's call getting lost in the stare of his blue eyes.

"So, you remember this bed, then?" I asked slyly, wanting to move onto a lighter subject.

With a pointed look, he warned, "Don't start, Bella."

Shrugging my shoulders and feigning innocence, I just scooted up to the top of the bed, slow in my movements and keeping my eyes on his. "Don't start what, Edward?" My voice was soft, an underlining layer to it.

"I went twenty-three years without touching you," he mused out loud, "you think it would be easier to keep away." His hand ran along the bottom of my bare leg, making its way to my knee. He moved his gaze to be on what his hand was doing to my skin, seeming transfixed by it. "But one touch was all it took to bring me right back here." He looked at me then, and I knew exactly how he was feeling.

"I wish you were the only one who ever got to touch me," I said, my most inner thoughts being made known.

"God, Bella, I don't even want to think about that." He shook his head, maneuvering around so he was lying down next to me at the top of the bed.

I had to shut my eyes and take a deep breath in. I wanted to tell him everything, spill everything about all the times I had thought about being back in this exact situation. My fear of it being too much, too fast kept me from it, though. He didn't need to know that I had spent the past two decades loving him. Right now, knowing it myself was enough for me.

If Edward and I were really supposed to get there, to that point again, there would be a time to tell him. The feel of my heart beat increasing would do for now. I hoped he could feel it; I hoped he could relate.

"Will this ever stop feeling surreal?" he asked quietly, looking over my body.

"I'm waiting for reality to hit, to wake up one morning back in Ohio, having never seen you again."

Crawling over me, encasing me between his arms next to my head, he leaned down and kissed me with enough force that my head was pressed back into the pillow. "Please don't leave," he begged before kissing me again. "I need you here. God, Bella…I just got you back."

I wrapped my arms around him, deepening the kiss. This felt so right, meant to be, as if I had never been surer of anything in my life. "I'm here," I said. "I'm here, I'm here."

My repeated words of affirmation between kisses only made Edward press down onto me harder, as if he would have done anything in that moment to keep me exactly where I was.

_There is no leaving,_ I thought in my head as my fingers scratched the back of his scalp, feeling his lips on my own. _This is it for me._

Edward stopped kissing me but just held me to him, hugging me for what felt like eternity.

"Bella," he began, his head tucked into the crook of my next, "I wish I had never left you."

My heart stopped, and I couldn't stop the tears from burning behind my closed eyes, some of my blackest memories rising to the surface.

"I wish we would have had a choice," I answered.

Rolling off of me, he pulled me into his side, so my head was resting on his chest, the sound of his heart thumping in my ear. "We did have a choice," he argued.

"Edward…we didn't."

"I could have tried harder."

"It wouldn't have mattered."

"Why do you say that?" he almost yelled, his head turning down to glare at me.

"I'm not going to fight with you about this, Edward. It's water under the bridge."

"But it matters! Look at where our lives have gone!"

I sat up, no longer wanting to be held by his arms. "And what? You think that talking about it is going to change anything? Is some magic genie going to appear and take back the last twenty years?"

"That's not what I'm saying, Bella!"

"Then I don't get why you're bringing it up."

"We need to talk about it!" he tried to emphasize again.

"WHY!" I was yelling now, not wanting to relive any of those moments. He was trying to take this…this time…this second chance away from us. But I was going to fight for it, because my _damn_ we deserved it.

"Because when I look at you now, I see the seventeen-year-old I fell in love with, but you're not that girl, Bella! I'm so afraid of falling back into this thing that we had back then as if the last twenty years never happened. Isn't that what it feels like to you? I see you smile, and I hear you laugh, and I'm right back in that field. I see you cry, Bella, and you're the girl that I lost my virginity to all _over again_, holding you afterwards as you cried and fought with me in my truck. There are all these memories, all the emotions that being with you like this brings back, and it scares the ever living shit out of me!"

"Why are you so afraid?" I voiced, wanting to defend who we were as adults, what we could have. We weren't children anymore.

"Because we didn't make it! I LOST YOU! We need to talk about it, figure it out, because, Bella, I can't handle losing you again!"

"I told you I wasn't going anywhere," I replied with a bit of ice to my tone. "I'm here!"

"You said that before. You promised, hell, we both promised, and it didn't matter."

Standing up and pacing the small space of the room, I pulled at the roots of my hair, my heart beating wildly in my chest from the adrenaline pumping through my system.

"Edward," I tried to say more calmly. "Where the hell is all of this coming from? Where was this hesitation a few days ago when we took a ride on Jenna, huh? Why are you throwing those broken promises back in my face as if I don't already know about them? You think that I didn't hurt? That you were the only one to lose something?

"You were the first man I've ever loved, Edward. You were my first…_everything._ How can you sit there and think that I don't get it? That I don't remember? I remember every painful, gory moment of our goodbye. But it didn't leave when you did. It didn't leave when I went back to Ohio, when I went to college, or when I slept with other men. It didn't leave when I got married, and it sure as hell hasn't left me now! I remember all of it. I remember the look on your face, the way your lips tasted. I remember feeling as if I would never stop crying, because for a very long time, I never did.

"You weren't the only one who was hurt, so don't lecture me here. I'm sorry if I don't want to relive that pain by talking about it! I don't need to talk about it! I already got the message loud and clear!"

"I'm not trying to lecture anyone here. I just don't want history to repeat itself." He paused, rubbing the palm of his hand down the side of his face. I just looked at him, not knowing what else to say.

"I called my boss," I blurted out, causing his eyes to whip to mine. "I meant it, Edward, when I told you I was here. I'm not leaving."

To see tears fill his eyes shocked me, to say the least, but it was when he buried his face into his knees and sobs erupted from his chest that I really panicked.

I crawled back on the bed, every tear that fell from his eyes acting like a knife through my already fragile heart. I did the only thing I could think of, and I wrapped my arms around him, trying to cover him with my body, as if my small frame could protect him from the hurt he was going through.

"I'm so sorry," he muttered, clinging to me as we rocked back and forth. "I can't lose you. I can't lose you."

I held him tighter.

"I'm not leaving."

**O.o**

The next week went by slowly, every day wondering if Seth's parents were going to show up at the house and take away the boy who meant so much to me. It was simple things with him. Like how I would cover him up with the blanket when he fell asleep, or when I would call him in to clean up his dishes.

My favorite, though, was when he would hug me before I would go to bed at night, holding me so tightly as if he was afraid that I wouldn't be there when he woke. I wanted, no…needed, to protect him. I immediately understood why every father in this town owned a shotgun. I would kill for this boy, and I think everyone around us was starting to see that.

Peggy had called me back a few days ago, and we set up an appointment to meet the following afternoon. To say I was nervous was a drastic understatement.

I cringed, listening to Charlie's relentless coughing as I walked through the front door of the house, carrying in bags of groceries on my arm.

"A little help here?" I yelled, and to my surprise, Seth, Patrick, and Lana all walked into the kitchen. "Hey, guys," I said. "I'm surprised to see you here."

I put the first load on the table, following the kids out to my car to get the rest.

"Dad's at work," Patrick piped up. "He doesn't like it when we stay home by ourselves."

"He doesn't trust us," Lana added, rolling her eyes. I was really tempted to tell her to _just wait until she's a teen, _but I thought better of it.

"Well, I'm sure Uncle Charlie loves the company!" I tried to sound upbeat. Lana didn't look impressed.

"Yo, Bella," Seth sounded in his signature way of getting my attention.

"Yo, kid," I mocked, shutting the trunk when all the groceries were in our arms.

"I have someone coming for dinner tomorrow tonight, if that's okay." He sounded excited, and I was definitely grateful for the opportunity to pull his chain and give him a hard time.

"Is this someone named…Rebecca?" I laughed, nudging him with my shoulder.

"And what if it is?" he asked back in the same tone.

"Seth has a girl coming over?" Leave it to Patrick to make Seth turns seven shades of red.

"A really pretty girl, from what I've heard," I fueled to the fire, laughing when Patrick made a sound of disgust.

"Just wait, Pat," Seth warned. "Your time will be here before you know it."

"What time is that?" Charlie asked from the living room as we made our way back inside.

"The time in life when a boy falls head over heels in love with a girl," I answered.

"Ah," Charlie sighed. "First loves are something. Aren't they, Bella?" He winked at me, but I dodged his stare and went to the kitchen instead.

"Who was your first love, Bella?" Seth purposefully asked, getting me back.

"Don't you have things to do, Seth?" I rebutted, looking at him pointedly.

"Who was he, Bella?" I was surprised to see that it was Lana who had asked, perching herself up on the counter.

"Hmm," I hummed, "well, how about you and I start dinner together, and I'll tell you all about it?" I smiled at her, and she returned it, hopping down and going to the sink to wash her hands.

"Ugh, I don't want to hear this," Seth groaned, walking into the living room.

"Me either," Pat sang out, following behind.

"They don't get it," Lana said, drying her hands while rolling her eyes.

I couldn't help but laugh. "I don't think they ever will, either, honey."

"So, what's for dinner?"

"Well," I said, looking through the bags, "that has yet to be determined. What do you feel like?"

"Um," she started, pretending to think really hard. "Well, my dad's favorite meal is fried chicken. Can we make that?"

"Uh," I stammered, having no idea to where I would even start with that. "Sure!" Screw it; we would figure it out. And if we burned the house down in the process, at least we had a very _trustworthy_ firefighter who would come save us.

**O.o**

"What are you girls laughing about in here?" a deep voice came from the entry way to the kitchen a few hours later, and I looked up to see Edward standing there, dressed in a pair of light jeans and a white t-shirt.

"Daddy!" Lana greeted, smiling from her spot at the counter, mixing the brownie mix in a bowl.

"Hi, baby." He came over and kissed the top of her head, giving me a wink when she wasn't looking.

"How was your shift?" I asked, cutting up the lettuce for the salad.

"Long," he drawled out, walking over to the oven and pulling the door open. "What's for dinner?"

His question sent both Lana and I back into a fit of laughter, which earned us a curious glance from Edward.

"Well," Lana started, "Bella isn't the best cook."

"Hey!" I laughed, throwing a tomato at her. "You weren't supposed to tell him that."

This made her laugh harder, and Edward, with an amused expression, leaned his back on the edge of the counter, watching us. I just rolled my eyes and continued with my work.

"She tried, really she did, Dad, but I don't think cooking is her strong point."

"Oh really?" Edward asked. "I remember thinking that same thought once." He chuckled, and I was tempted to throw things at him, too.

"Don't start, Masen."

"We were going to make fried chicken," Lana continued. "But that was a very, very big epic fail."

I rolled my eyes again for dramatic effect. "Thanks, Lana! So glad I could count on you!" I joked, and the smile on her face honestly made my day.

"So we settled on pasta."

"Why is the pasta in the oven, then?" Edward asked, clearly confused.

"To keep it warm?" I said, even though it obviously came out sounding as a guess.

This made Edward laugh out loud as he pushed himself off the counter. "Well, it sounds like you girls are having a blast in here, so just don't burn down the house, and we'll be okay."

"Whatever, Dad," Lana said after him as he walked into the living room.

I watched him leave, and the expression on my face of simple happiness was probably borderline embarrassing.

"He was your first love, wasn't he?" Lana asked me without lifting her head.

My eyes immediately snapped to hers, though. "What makes you think that?" I asked, my voice giving me away, I was sure. I had told her some fun, light things about what it was like to fall in love with a boy for the first time, nothing too deep or serious, and certainly nothing that would give it away that said first love was her father.

She shrugged. "I don't know, just the way you look at him, I guess."

"It's…complicated, Lana," I answered, not really knowing how else to respond.

"Isn't all love like that though, Bella?" she asked, finally looking up at me.

With a heavy sigh, I smiled in her direction. "You're too smart to be only ten."

She matched my small smile and shrugged her shoulders again. "I might only be ten, but I'm old enough to know that there is more than one kind of love and that's it's not always simple. I know that my dad loves us, and I love my brother, and Uncle Charlie. I see how Uncle James loves his 'women'," she said with actual air quotes. "And I've seen the love that my parents had and then lost. And I see the way my dad looks at you, talks about you, as if you're exactly what he needs in life."

"Why do you say that?" I whispered, entranced by her words.

"I'm not blind, Bella," she scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Everyone knows that he's in love with you. And if he was the guy you described as your first love, I kind of have to think that you never stopped."

"Never stopped what?" I hated that I couldn't seem to keep up with what she was saying.

"Loving him."

"Loving him?" I repeated, followed by a firm shake of my head. "It's more complicated than that," I tried to reason.

This just caused her to chuckle as she went back to stirring the brownies. "That's not an excuse."

I couldn't actually believe I was having this conversation with a girl who was only ten-years-old. I felt like the child here, getting advice from a more experienced adult.

I just took a deep breath. "Well, excuses or not, I don't think anyone in this house is ready to broach that subject."

She just eyed me, a smirk pulling at her lips that was way too similar to her father's. "Okay, Bella."

And with that, our conversation ended, and all of the boys joined us at the table for dinner as we switched out the pasta for the brownies in the oven. Looking around at all of the faces at the table, I couldn't help but wholeheartedly agree with Lana.

There were many different forms of love, all with their own complications, but as I felt Edward graze his foot up my leg playfully without anyone knowing, I couldn't help but think he was the best kind of love I could have ever hoped for.

Even if it did take me twenty-three years to do something about it.

**O.o**

**END NOTES –**

**It's amazing what Edward still remembers. Let me know if you would be interested in some Edward outtakes when this story is complete. **

**Please, please still review. I **_**love **_**my trusty reviewers. Remember – two updates a week for every hundred review mark reached. And I'll say it again…that is not me holding chapters back for reviews, that is me working **_**extra**_** hard to get you two updates as a way of saying thanks. **

**Next update will be on Monday, regardless :) Love y'all**


	21. Chapter 21

**AN – Thank you truly for all of your adoring reviews! So many new people came out of hiding last chapter; it was fantastic. I got a lot of great ideas for outtakes from a lot of you, too! Here is your next chapter (in only three days' time). See, your reviews do pay off ;)**

**Extra special thank you to my lovely beta, Ginginlee, & prereaders, lizzylillyrose, sammielynnsmom, and morethanmyself. They still worked hard on this even though I got it to them at the very last minute. You guys are the best, and I love y'all dearly.**

**The beautiful IllicitWriter makes PicTeases for SW every week. They are amazing – to see them you can follow me on twitter: kas90_ or check out my blog. Link is on my ffnet page. ALSO! If you want to see what all the characters (like Seth, Rachel, Lana, Patrick, etc.) look like to me, you can check out the video I made for SW – link also on my ffnet page**

**And the lovely Coldplaywhore wrote up a review of SW for P.I.C.'s FanFic Corner – check out the very sweet review here: **picffcorner(dot)blogspot(dot)com **(Thank you, CPW!)**

…

_"Can I see you tomorrow?" I asked, suddenly worried that I had done something wrong and that he wouldn't want to come over. Insecurities wracked through my body, and doubt filled my mind. I knew my voice sounded pathetic and a little clingy, my usual wit and strength nowhere to be found._

_I couldn't help but think__too much, too fast,__over and over in my head._

_"Yeah," he answered simply. "I'll call you."_

_With another quick kiss on my lips, again refusing to meet my eyes, he slid on his shoes and climbed out of my window._

_I collapsed back on my bed, fully embarrassed, my heart feeling as though it had sunk out of my chest, and I cried myself to sleep._

**Chapter 21**

**1987**

When I woke up the next morning, I felt very…_silly._ Prying my eyes open – not without effort, thanks to my caked-on mascara – I looked around my room and tried to regroup. My window was still open, the breeze coming through and the sunshine making shadows in the small space. I took a deep breath and rubbed my tired eyes, sitting up and pushing the blanket off my legs. A knock at the door shook me from the rest of my slumber, and I hummed in response.

Uncle Charlie poked his head in, his forehead crinkling in concern when he took in my appearance.

"What's wrong, darlin'?" he asked, taking a step closer towards me.

"What do you mean?" My voice was still thick with sleep, and I removed my stare from his, sure that he could see right through me. I felt very thin and transparent in that moment.

"You just…" He paused, scratching his head. "Never mind. You've got a visitor downstairs."

"A visitor?"

"Yes, Mary Poppins has come to see you, now go wash your face. Your breakfast is getting cold."

I couldn't help but smile and rub my eye again, as if removing the traces of my leftover makeup would erase all the doubt and terrible memories I had from the night before. Things had been going well, and it felt _good, _until it just...didn't.

I climbed out of bed quickly after Charlie closed the door, going straight to the bathroom to clean up a bit. He didn't say who was here, but I couldn't help the sudden drop my stomach experienced when I thought about who it could be.

I simply brushed my teeth, threw my hair into a bun, and scrubbed my face practically raw. I didn't bother changing out of my long t-shirt as my bare feet carried me down the steps, the boards squeaking beneath my weight.

I turned the corner of the kitchen, smacking right into someone's back, my head hitting their shoulder blade, sending a shooting pain through my skull. "Ah, man," I hissed out, covering the top of my left eye with my hands and crouching over a bit.

I felt hands on my shoulders, holding me up before a hand smoothed out the hair pulled back on my head.

"Are you okay?" the voice asked, and I looked up to see Riley standing only inches away from me.

I flinched back on instinct, surprised that it was him who I had run into. "Yeah, sorry, I didn't see you there," I excused, walking around him this time and fully into the kitchen, my hand still over my eye.

My limited visibility allowed me to see, however, Charlie sitting at the table reading the paper and Edward leaning against the counter, though I wasn't able to decipher the look on his face.

My steps stopped as soon as I saw him, feeling very naked in just my t-shirt.

"You okay there, slugger?" Charlie asked before taking a sip from his coffee cup, not even bothering to look at me as he continued reading the paper.

"Sure," I said, not being able to take my eyes off of Edward's.

His eyes only left mine to travel further down my body, lingering on the tan skin of my visible thighs.

"What are you guys doing here?" I finally was able to ask, thankful that my tone sounded more curious than it did bitter.

"I just wanted to come see you." A smile played at Edward's lips then, and he seemed to visibly relax. "Aren't I allowed to come see my girlfriend?" Pushing off the counter, he took the extra steps to where I was standing and wrapped his arms around my shoulders.

I closed my eyes in relief. _He still wants to touch me, see me, _I thought, hugging his waist tightly as my eyes screwed shut against his chest.

"Hey, Riley," Uncle Charlie said while Edward was still holding onto me, "go over to the skillet and get some breakfast. Bella," he addressed me then, "why don't you go fetch me the mail."

I moved back from Edward's embrace just a bit as I looked at my uncle strangely. "But the mail doesn't come until…"

"Edward can go with you," he interrupted, hastily turning the page of his paper.

"Oh," I said. "Okay."

Edward gave me an equally confused look before he followed me out of the kitchen and onto the front porch.

"There's no mail to get, is there?" he asked after he closed the door.

"No." I sighed, playing with my t-shirt and avoiding his eyes.

"I think he's too perceptive for his own good." He tried to laugh, but it came out noticeably forced.

I finally glanced at him before rolling my eyes. "Oh, please, if he had any idea of what really happened last night, sending you and me out to talk by ourselves would be the last thing on his agenda."

He smiled and took my hand, leading me to the porch swing. "Maybe you're right."

I sat down beside him, our thighs touching as he wrapped his arm around me, pulling me closer. Leaning down, he kissed the top of my head, his lips lingering there longer than normal. "Are you okay?" he eventually asked, his cheek resting where his lips had just been.

"Yeah, of course," I spoke, closing my eyes, trying to hide in my lie.

"Bella," he said softly. "You weren't okay when I left last night."

"I was just…"

"I'm sorry if I pushed too far." His voice was full of guilt, and that was not how I wanted him to feel.

"No," I said with more volume. "I wanted that. I asked you to…do that." I turned to face at him, his arm falling from my shoulder. "It was just, when you said you had to go so quickly, it kind of just threw me off, you know? I thought that maybe I did…something wrong."

Even though I was facing him, my eyes lingered on the buttons of his shirt, afraid of what the blue of his eyes might have revealed.

"Bella," he said again, "you didn't do anything wrong. I was…I thought…maybe I did…something wrong," he stuttered, very uncharacteristic of him.

"I know you've been with other girls," I voiced one of my major insecurities, "and that when I couldn't…you would think that…" I wanted so badly to get the words out, but they just weren't coming. Thankfully Edward understood where I was going with my statement, and he shook his head and sighed loudly.

"Is that really what you think? That I was comparing you to other girls?"

"Isn't that normal?" I asked, daring a look at him.

"I don't…no, Bella. I promise that wasn't what I was thinking."

I just sighed and lightly nodded. "Okay."

"Look," he said more firmly, "I know I've said this before, but I'm not dating you because I want to get in your pants. I'm dating you because I really, _really_ like being around you. I want to do _those things,_" he coughed uncomfortably, "with you because I like you. Not the other way around. Being, you know, _intimate,_ with someone is supposed to be fun and make you feel good. But if you feel like the way you do, then, baby, I don't want to do that anymore. I want my fun, carefree, hilarious Bella back."

When I didn't say anything, he continued, "And I never want you to think that I'm comparing you to other girls. Ever! And if I do, it's only how I think you're so much better than them. I promise!

"I wasn't lying when I said I had never met anyone like you before," he added on more softly, his fingers pulling my chin up so I would look at him. "I'm sorry that I left like that last night. I thought that you didn't want me there."

A small smile graced my lips. "I was so embarrassed."

He just shook his head. "You had no reason to be."

He leaned forward, wanting me to meet him halfway before he kissed me. Holding the sides of my face, he pressed his lips firmly to mine, not trying to go further, but not backing away, either. My heart couldn't help but melt when he treated me this way. He was generous and understanding, taking the time to talk with me to make sure that I was okay instead of just blowing me off and moving on. My chest hurt with how much I was falling for him. It was scary and exciting and terrifying and exhilarating, all wrapped up in one man. But I couldn't think of a better person I wanted to experience this with, because it honestly felt like that he was going through exactly the same thing I was, and my heart swelled at the thought.

"But wait," I broke the kiss and held up my hand. "Why is Riley here?"

Edward just shrugged. "Boy's night."

"So you left Riley to come here last night?" I couldn't help but laugh.

His devilish smirk returned. "Yeah…do you have a problem with that?"

"I'm just," I put my hand over my heart, "so honored, Mr. Masen." I laughed harder then, and he pulled me into a hug, placing a kiss on my forehead.

"You should be honored. My presence is highly desired among the masses."

I smacked his arm when we pulled away from the hug. "You're so full of it." I chuckled again as he licked his lips.

"Come here," he said, lowering his voice but still smiling like a fool.

"Ah, I don't know…maybe Riley would appreciate the kiss more than I would," I joked. "Since you're so desired and all." I didn't even notice when his hands shot out to my sides, but I was suddenly kicking and squealing as he started tickling my ribs. "MERCY! MERCY!" I yelled between breaths of air.

"What's that, baby? I can't hear you," he taunted as I fell over his lap, still trying to remove myself from his grip.

"Fine, I'll kiss you!"

"That's not good enough."

"EDWARD!" I tried again, yet to no avail. "Fine! Riley doesn't want to kiss you, okay? HAPPY!"

I could finally take a deep breath when he stopped, sitting back and looking smugly at me. "That's better," he said with a nod, and I punched him in the arm before standing up and shooting into the house, Edward hot on my tail.

"Hi, kids," Charlie said as I ran into the kitchen, my screams and laughter stopping as his words made me halt my steps. I laughed again, though, when Edward didn't see me stop and ran right into me, knocking us both over.

"Ha-ha," I deadpanned at Edward, who was lying above me, laughing when he started to tickle me again.

An orange came out of nowhere, though, and hit Edward right in the head, causing him to stop immediately and rub the sore spot. We both turned to look at the table, and Riley was just watching us with wide eyes as Charlie was reading the paper, acting like nothing had happened.

"Mr. Swan, did you just throw an orange at me?" Edward asked in disbelief.

"You're lucky that's not the only thing I aimed at your head, boy," he rebutted, taking another sip of his coffee. "Now, you have about three seconds to get off my little girl before I do some real damage."

I laughed at this; however, Edward didn't look so amused. With his face suddenly very pale, he stood, reaching a hand out to me and pulling me to my feet. But when I looked at Riley, my face drained of color just as Edward's had, since both of us had clearly forgotten that I was only dressed in a t-shirt, and my legs and underwear were on clear display.

"I'm just, um, going to go get dressed," I stammered, which caused Edward's head to whip to mine. He had obviously forgotten, too.

"Good idea," he added, pushing me out of the kitchen, which caused Uncle Charlie to chuckle in his seat.

"You two kill me," he muttered, but I couldn't hear if he had said anything else when I ran up the stairs.

When I got to my room, I shut the door behind me, leaning against it and sliding down to the floor. I couldn't keep the huge grin off my face, my fingers coming to brush against my lips just so I could make sure if it was really there or not. I was just _so _happy. It was just a drastic change to how I had felt before I fell asleep the night before, and I was in wonder of how just a few minutes alone with Edward could make me feel so different. He made me feel _different._

It was a feeling I never wanted to lose.

**O.o**

It started to seem like the days just blended together, a mix of moments containing long, knowing glances, lingering, soft kisses, and crafted touches that burned right through my skin. Spending time with Edward never seemed routine or predictable, however – it just got to the point where my constant state of happiness blurred the lines of specific memories.

Two weeks had passed since Edward and Riley showed up in my kitchen, and if felt like nothing and everything has changed at the same time. The spark hint of falling for someone has turned into a full cliff dive, tumbling down with willing, open arms. Was I setting myself up for disaster? Maybe. Was it worth it…I sure as hell hoped so.

"What are you thinking about?" Uncle Charlie called me out of my thoughts, looking at me with a raised brow. "Don't think too hard, child, you're going to hurt yourself." He went back to running a brush through Jenna's mane. "And get that stupid grin off your face," he tacked on, laughing at his own private joke.

"Don't be hateful, old man," I said back. "You just wish you had an Edward of your own to smile over."

This made Charlie scoff, and loudly at that, before rolling his eyes and running the brush through the beige hair again. "Oh yeah. Who knows, maybe I'll just steal yours. Since I'm into that kind of thing and all."

"Ah, yes, I always knew it." I shook my head, laughing at the absurdity. "But I think Edward might be partial to…you know, girls."

"Who's partial to girls?" a voice said, entering the barn.

Uncle Charlie and I just looked at each other before laughing.

"Am I missing something?" Edward walked over and picked up an apple, handing it to the horse I was working on.

"Not a thing, boy. Now what are you doing here? Ain't it your day off?"

"Oh, come on, Mr. Swan. You know I can't keep away." He turned to wink at me.

"Or keep your hands off," Charlie muttered under his breath.

"What was that?" I asked, eyes wide.

"Child, you know better than to talk when two men are talking. Learn your place." The smirk on his face was clear to see, but I still didn't feel bad at all when I threw an apple at him.

"Don't throw too hard, Bella, you might break him," Edward added on, ducking when Charlie threw the apple back in our direction.

"Kids these days – no respect."

"Don't be so violent, Uncle Charlie. That is just unnecessary," I said very seriously, mocking him. "You need to start acting like an adult."

"You know what I need to do?" he rebutted, putting the brush down and taking a step towards me with a deathly stare.

"What's that, old guy?" I egged on, even though I ducked behind Edward and used him as a shield.

"This," he said, as he was standing only a foot away, picking up the bucket of water and tossing the contents in our directions, soaking Edward completely as a few droplets trickled down my face.

"HEY!" Edward yelled. "What did I do?"

I was just laughing behind him- full hands-on-knees, trying-to-catch-my-breath, laughing.

"Is that funny, Bella?" Edward asked in a grave voice, turning around to watch me in my hysterics.

"You…you…" I pointed to him, barely getting out the words between my deep inhales of air.

But he just wrapped his arms around me, encasing me in his grip as his wet clothes soaked through mine.

"Stop!" I cried, still laughing as he picked me up, my feet hardly even dragging on the ground.

Walking me outside into the sunlight, he threw me down on the grass, only he was a lot faster than I, and he ran to the hose, pushing down on the nozzle that was directed right towards me.

"How does that feel, baby?" he asked as he laughed, getting me wet all over.

"You play dirty, Masen!" I yelled out, trying to stand up but slipping and falling as the dirt became mud.

"I play what?" he yelled louder.

"Dirty. You're a dirty, dirty man!"

After my comment, Edward shut off the hose, a look of wicked mischief dancing across his face. With a loud smack, the hose fell in the mud, and Edward took the few steps towards me, offering his hand out to help me too my feet.

_I'm not that stupid,_ I thought to myself as I took his hand and pulled – hard – so he slipped on the wet ground and fell down beside me. The look on his face as he was falling only added to how funny I thought it was, and I was literally rolling back and forth in the mud, trying to catch my breath between fits of laughter.

"How…does…it feel…Masen?" I laughed out, but he just gripped onto me, wrestling with me until he was pinning me down on the ground, straddling me so I couldn't move.

"Oh, Bella, you're so dirty," he said as his hand came across my face, smearing the mud. "Why are you so filthy?" he said again, rubbing it through my hair. "Did you forget how to shower?"

All the while, I was struggling beneath him, trying to get up by pushing on his chest, but to no avail.

"Who's dirty now, baby?"

"Is that an innuendo, _sweetheart?" _I mocked, laughing again.

This made him laugh, too, but he only shrugged at my comment. "Could be."

"Yeah, yeah, I knew it. I think perv is a better way to describe you."

"Hey…I was just referring that you needed to bathe, you're the one who turned it into a sex thing," he rebutted.

"Don't pretend you weren't thinking about it." I rolled my eyes, chuckling.

He leaned down closer to me then, putting his mouth right next to my ear so I could feel the warm air on my neck. "I'm always thinking about it."

A visible shudder ran through my body as my eyes closed tightly at his comment. This is what Edward and I have been dealing with these past two weeks. After that night in my bedroom, we tried that again, and it seemed that each time we were by ourselves, one thing would lead to another, but we never went _that _far.

I wanted to, and I was almost certain that Edward felt the same way.

In response to his comment, I moved my muddy hands from his t-shirt and brought them to his neck, maneuvering his face so he his lips were just above mine. With one last look in his eyes and a smile on my lips, I kissed him, our muddy faces pressing together as he still sat on top of me, keeping me to the ground.

It was probably only a minute later that Edward jumped off of me, the water from the hose hitting us both with a lot of force. I screamed as the water hit both of our faces, and I tried my best to block it with my arms.

Finally, it shut off, and Charlie stood there with a scowl on his face, while Edward and I just looked at him with shocked expressions.

"It's a little warm out here, don't ya think?" he began, fidgeting with the nozzle of the hose. "Just wanted to help y'all cool down a bit." He then threw the hose back to the ground and walked away, heading into the house.

"Yeah, Edward, you need to cool down a bit," I deadpanned, but it really only earned me a ball of mud to the face.

Peeling it from my eyes, I turned to glare at him.

"What?" he said, shrugging. "Just consider it a facial."

**O.o**

The water was cool and refreshing as it ran through my hair and down my back, rinsing out the rest of the shampoo before I put in some conditioner. I scrubbed off all the mud, the pile of stained clothes lying as a heap on the floor of the bathroom.

Edward headed home not long after Charlie had gone inside, not without a promise to be back in an hour to pick me up. He had said that he wanted to do something special for me, whatever that meant.

When I climbed out of the shower and headed back into my bedroom, I wrapped my wet hair in the towel, wanting to pick out something nice to wear. Settling on a light, cotton yellow dress, I slipped on my sandals, put on some mascara, and shook my hair from the towel, using a hairdryer for a couple minutes before I let the rest of it air dry.

I walked into the kitchen to find Charlie stirring something in a pot on the stove and humming some song I didn't recognize.

"You look nice, darlin'," he turned around and commented. "You have a date with Rachel or something?"

_Okay, sly guy,_ I thought to myself as I sat down at the kitchen table.

"I'm glad to see you're so supportive of my experimental behavior, Uncle Charlie!" I smiled widely at him, crossing one leg over the other as I leaned on the wooden surface.

"Just trying to be a good uncle, baby," he responded, putting the lid back on the pan he was using to cook.

"So…you would be supportive of _other_ things I might try to, _you know, _experiment with."

He just released a single laugh. "Loving a girl is one thing, Bella, snorting up cocaine is another thing entirely."

"Ah man," I pouted, slapping my thigh in disappointment. "Well, there goes tonight's activity."

He turned his head towards me and winked, walking over to the sink to wash his hands.

"So what are you cooking?" I had to admit, it smelled delicious.

"Oh, nothing you would be interested in."

"You sure about that?"

"Uh, huh. It's terrible. Probably poisonous."

"I mean, _you_ are cooking it, so I don't doubt that."

Throwing the dish towel at me, he laughed and shook his head. "It's not like you're a much better cook, though, honey." _You're right about that._

"Eh," I shrugged, "it's not like I have a family to cook for. I'm sure once I have kids, I'll learn to cook for them."

"Yeah, sure you will, sweetheart."

I just laughed and rolled my eyes. "Whatever, Uncle Charlie, you just wait. I'm going to be the next Betty Crocker."

There was a knock at the door, and I glanced at the clock, noticing that it hadn't been an hour yet since Edward left, so it shouldn't have been him.

"Are you going to get it, child, or just sit there?" Charlie asked in disbelief, putting a hand on his hip for extra effect.

"It's your house," I deadpanned, even though I got up off my seat anyway to go see who it was.

A very nervous looking Edward, dressed in dark jeans and a blue plaid button-up, stood on the other side of the door, and I couldn't help but look at him strangely, for a number of reasons.

"What's wrong?" I asked right off the bat, not liking how he was bouncing from one foot to the other as his hand was prying his hair from his scalp.

"Wrong?" he stopped moving and matched my confused look.

"I don't know, you look like something is bothering you or something."

The fact that his face heated and his gaze shot down to the ground did not go unnoticed by me. _Why is he acting so weird?_

"Nothing's wrong," he answered, lifting his head as his face morphed back into one of sexy confidence. "What made you think that, baby?" His voice was low, and he took a step towards me, stepping just inside the house as his arms circled my waist.

"I'm not used to seeing you fidget."

"You make me nervous," he whispered in my ear.

"Is that a good thing?" My soft volume matched his.

He nodded his head and kissed right beneath my ear. "Maybe."

"Are you ready to get out of here?" I asked, anxious, once again, to be alone with him.

He stepped back and smiled at me. "Sure."

"Bye, Uncle Charlie!" I called into the kitchen, running back into the living room to grab my purse.

Walking to the doorway with a wooden spoon in hand, he waved goodbye. "You kids have fun! No sex, drugs, or alcohol," he yelled out when we had almost reached Edward's truck. I was happy that we were far enough away that he wouldn't see my reddening face.

"Have I mentioned that he's too perceptive for his own good?" Edward asked as he climbed into the driver's seat.

Strapping in my seatbelt, I responded, "I don't think it's that he's perceptive, I just think that teens having sex, smoking pot, or binge drinking is just very cliché and expected."

"Expected?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, it's certainly common."

"Just admit it, Bella," he began as he started chuckling, "you want to have sex with me, and it's so obvious that even your uncle has caught on."

I smacked the side of his arm. "That's nasty, Edward! I don't want my uncle knowing _that._"

"So you admit it?"

"You better watch it, buddy, if you make another comment about how I'm the only one who wants to have sex in this car, then there will be serious consequences."

"Ha," he laughed out. "Okay, baby…my lips are sealed."

"Thank you." I winked at him, which caused him to laugh again. "So where are we going?"

"Somewhere special."

"What's so special about it?"

He reached for my hand and laced his fingers through mine. "Everything," he answered, throwing in another wink for good measure.

I knew what he was talking about when we pulled up to the field that he had brought me to once before. The sun was starting its decent in the sky, and the deep yellow and orange colors splayed like a painting across the overgrown grass.

I noticed Edward's hands shaking as he put the truck into park and climbed out. He picked up a blanket, basket, and a bottle of wine from the back cab, and my stomach was all of a sudden in a dozen knots.

_Was this going to be…?_ My thoughts trailed on as Edward spread out the soft fleece blanket beside the tree that we had deemed as ours. He sat down and leaned against the hard bark, reaching his hand out for me to join him.

_Yes,_ I concluded.I looked around again, taking in every shadow, color, and sound of this moment, wanting it to stay in my memory for the rest of eternity.

I took his hand, my smile matching his as I lowered myself down onto the blanket, thinking as I sat between his legs, _this was it._

This was our moment, of our summer, that would change my entire life.

…

**END NOTES—**

**Uh oh…crazy kids. **

**Next update will be either Thursday or Friday…probably Friday.**

**Like these two updates a week? Then review! **

**Now, I'm going to go crash because I'm so very exhausted…**


	22. Chapter 22

**AN – Your reviews put the biggest smile on my face – and some even make me laugh out loud. Thank you all for your consistent dedication to this little story. Thank you also to those who are rec'ing your hearts out. **

**Ginginlee makes it shine. Lizzylillyrose fixed the crap ending, and Sammielynnsmom and Morethanmyself always make sure I'm right on track. Thanks to them for their hard work! IllicitWriter is my darling love who makes the most beautiful Pic Teases for SW. They all deserve a medal. **

**You guys really seemed to like the last 2010 chapter. Let's see if this one can top it, huh? Oh yeah…this fic is rated M…JSYK. **

…

_And with that, our conversation ended, and all of the boys joined us at the table for dinner as we switched out the pasta for the brownies in the oven. Looking around at all of the faces at the table, I couldn't help but wholeheartedly agree with Lana._

_There were many different forms of love, all with their own complications, but as I felt Edward graze his foot up my leg playfully without anyone knowing, I couldn't help but think he was the best kind of love I could have ever hoped for._

_Even if it did take me twenty-three years to do something about it._

**Chapter 22**

**2010**

The next morning, I woke up with a start, my stomach turning so violently that I had no choice but to sprint to the bathroom, heaving over the porcelain bowl. With erratic breathing and shaky legs, I pulled myself into seated position, ducking my head between my knees as I sobbed.

I had my meeting with Peggy, Seth's social worker, in a few hours, and I had never experienced so much inner turmoil before in my entire life. I felt like today sealed the deal for us, for him. I knew I needed to find my strength and stand up to this, fight this with every ounce of energy I had left, but I needed my weak moment, when it was just me in the bathroom, alone, blocked from view, to let every insecure, doubtful thought, feeling, emotion course through my body. I needed my time to be scared shitless before I put on the front of strength and positivity, because I knew damn well that I would be wearing this armor for both myself and Seth today.

With an empty stomach and dry eyes, I pulled myself off from the floor a little less than an hour later, looking in the mirror at the aged woman in the reflection. She was beat, tired, worn down…but she was not broken.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, letting my head fall back before standing tall once again.

_Not broken,_ I repeated. _This won't break me._

"Snap out of it, Bella," I spoke to myself before turning on the water and brushing my teeth. My shower was next, and I tried to let the hot water wash away the nerves, even though I didn't have much luck in that area.

Edward, Seth, and I were going to Peggy's office together, and I wanted to make sure that I looked professional, respectable. I wanted to be seen as the adult I was supposed to be, not the child that I felt still lived inside. After blow-drying my hair, I applied more make-up than I had worn in years, and slipped on a gray pencil skirt and blue blouse, not having worn clothes like this since I had been in North Carolina. My black heels were next, and I had to admit, dressing the part really did make me feel better. I tried to tell myself that if I convinced myself of being confident, others would think it, too.

Uncle Charlie wasn't awake yet when I had gone downstairs, which worried me since it was past 7:30, and he almost always was up by then, either drinking coffee at the table or watching TV in his recliner. I tip-toed down the hall to his bedroom, not wanting to wake him with the sound of my shoes if he was still sleeping, and saw him lying in his bed when I opened the door.

His chest was rising and falling, but it looked shallow, and I couldn't help my jump when he coughed hoarsely in his sleep. With a deep sigh, I closed the door and walked quietly back to the kitchen, starting the coffee pot and getting some cereal for breakfast. I wasn't sure if my stomach could handle any more than that.

"Hey, Bella," a tired voice said, and I turned around to see Seth, standing in the entryway, scratching his head with his eyes half open.

"Morning, kid. Want some coffee?"

He made a face of disgust and shook his head. "No thanks. What time do we have to leave?" He didn't look at me as he asked, and I just wish I knew how to make him feel better.

"About an hour. Edward should be here soon. Lana and Patrick are staying with Emmett today."

"Okay." He fidgeted, swaying his weight from one foot to the other. "Well, I'm just going to…um, shower, and stuff."

"Alright." I smiled as genuinely as I could. "Take your time, and I'll have breakfast for you when you're ready."

"I'm not really hungry, Bella," he responded flatly, looking at me.

"Well, you need to eat, so I'll make it, and you just eat what you can."

"So pushy." A small smile finally broke through.

"You know me…forever a pain in the ass. Now, get moving." I winked in his direction to try and lighten the mood further, and the small chuckle he released confirmed that it had worked, at least for a moment.

After I ate my cereal, I gathered the ingredients for pancakes, making sure I would make enough for Edward and Charlie to eat, too. It wasn't ten minutes after Seth went to shower that the front door opened, and I turned from my spot at the counter to see Edward walk into the kitchen.

"Hi." I smiled, looking over my shoulder at him. He was dressed in a black suit, his white button-down snug around his waist.

His face turned a light shade of pink as he looked me over, and he mumbled something under his breath that I didn't catch as he took the few steps over to me.

"Morning, beautiful," he said as he wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his head beside my neck and placing a soft kiss there.

I kept stirring the mix for the pancakes but turned my head in search for his lips. He was quick to oblige and gave them to me willingly, one of his hands coming to hold my cheek. When he went to take things further, I stopped what I was doing, breakfast momentarily forgotten, as I turned around and wound my arms around his neck, allowing him to press me into the counter.

"I've never seen you so dressed up before," he mused, a look of no good on his face. "It's hot, Bella."

I just chuckled and pulled him closer. "Right back at ya, Masen. You look good in a suit."

He scrunched his face in disagreement, which I found very funny. Edward Masen was a typical southern man, who would much rather wear holey jeans and a dirty t-shirt than a crisp shirt and tie. It just wasn't him, and I think I loved him that much more for it. _Yes, loved him_. Did I ever really stop? I didn't think falling out of love with Edward was even a possibility.

"Are you ready for today?" he whispered, his face becoming more serious as he avoided my eyes.

"I just want it to be over," I admitted honestly. "I want him safe and here with me."

Edward kissed my lips again, once, twice, before pulling back away. "I want that too, baby, so bad."

That was the first time he had called me _baby_ in a very, very long time, and I didn't even think he realized he had said it. But I noticed…I noticed everything when it came to him.

"What?" he asked when I tensed up.

I just tried to relax in his arms as much as I could and shook my head, smiling as I met his eyes. "Nothing."

Loud coughing brought Edward and me out of our little bubble, and we both looked to see Charlie walking down the hallway, pulling his oxygen behind him.

"I'll help him," Edward said quietly before placing one last kiss on my mouth. I turned back around, getting back to work on making breakfast for my family.

**O.o**

Seth pulled at his un-tucked shirt as he fidgeted in his seat, which did nothing to help me feel better.

"I hope you plan on tucking that in before we get inside," I whispered into his ear as we all sat in the waiting area of Peggy's office. He just looked at me incredulously, and Edward chuckled beside me.

"You're kidding, right?"

I looked at him blankly.

"Bella…"

"Seth…"

"It's just a shirt."

"I want Peggy to take what you have to say about your situation as seriously as possible. This isn't a game, this is your life. Please just do it…for me if no one else."

He sighed heavily and rolled his eyes; however, he stood from his chair, tucking the dark green fabric into his black slacks.

"Thank you," I said, patting his leg when he sat back down.

"Pain in the ass," he mumbled, and I just laughed. _He was right, after all. _

There was a leftover smile on my face from my momentarily laughter as Peggy stepped out, greeting us with a flustered look as she tried to regroup.

"Morning, y'all," she began. "So sorry I'm late. Things are just…crazy." Rolling her eyes, she waved her hand in the air, trying to make her point.

"It's not a problem," Edward said calmly, gabbing onto my hand, which didn't go unnoticed by Peggy.

"Alright, well, let's just get started, shall we? Seth, why don't you follow me, and we can chat first."

"Is that necessary?" I asked, sitting forward in my seat a bit. "Why can't we talk together?"

"It's just protocol," she assured, ushering for Seth to stand and follow her. He did, although he looked back to Edward and me for support, and we just smiled reassuringly at him, nodding our heads in encouragement.

"I hate this," I said in a low voice as I rested my head on Edward's shoulder.

"Me, too. But this is what's best for him."

"I hate his parents," I responded with gritted teeth, my anger for them bubbling to the surface.

He just kissed my head before resting his own upon it. "I know."

It was a little over thirty minutes later when Peggy called us into her office, trading places with Seth as he took a seat back in the waiting area. Her desk was piled with folders stacked atop of one another, a sea of manila spread throughout the small space. It was obvious that Peggy dealt with a lot of cases; she was certainly a busy woman to say the least. It made my hatred for incompetent parents rise all that more.

It was harder for me since I couldn't have them of my own. Didn't these parents know how wonderful and amazing their kids were? How could anyone ever treat a person, let alone their own flesh and blood, with such distaste and abuse?

"Edward, Bella," she greeted. "It's nice to see you again, although I wish they had been under different circumstances."

I gave her a tight smile, squeezing Edward's hand.

"Now, here is the issue," she started as she rested her arms on papers that were on top of her desk. Looking back and forth between Edward and me, she continued, "Seth is only two years away from being considered an adult in the eyes of the state, so adoption is a little-to-none possibility, that is if the judge even agrees to have him be released from his home. As of today, I have decided to enter him into the foster system, matching him with a family close to the area."

"FOSTER HOME!" I shouted, my shock getting the better of me.

"Yes. It would be the best place for him until other care can be provided."

"Other care? He has _other care!_"

"Bella, no offense, but crashing on the couch of your sick uncle's house is not what I would consider suitable care for a teenager."

Her even, hard tone stunned me into silence.

"The foster home can provide him a room, a bed, food, safety."

"He is plenty safe with me!" I bit back, and I felt Edward squeez my hand.

Opening up her file and looking through it, she lifted her head to mine again. "Are you even employed right now? The last I have down is that you worked for Clark's Publishing in Columbus, Ohio. How is that going?"

"Well," I stuttered, "I'm not sure of the status of my employment at the moment."

"And your uncle. Charlie Swan, he is in declining health, correct? Is he receiving the adequate care? And his farm. The bank records say that he is about as close as an inch away from losing it. Were you aware of that? He is in incredible debt, and his retirement does not come close to paying for his house, horses, or what he would need for a good doctor.

"From what I can see, Miss, you have enough on your plate already. Taking in a teenager requires a lot – emotionally and financially. I cannot allow that young man to sleep on a couch any longer. He deserves to be in a home that can provide for him. You do agree, isn't that why you are here?"

My eyes shut on their own accord, heat racing through my body, my skin prickling. I felt sick all over again, not because of the fact that Seth wouldn't come home with me but that _she was right._

"Wait…"

My head shot to Edward as he spoke up.

"What if he comes home with me? I'll take him."

I think the look on my face matched Peggy's as she shifted in her seat.

"I have a good, solid job, enough room in my house. He could share a room with my son, Patrick, until I can build him something. Pat's only over ever-so-often, anyway, since he lives with his mother half the time. I have no criminal background, nothing that the state would deem unsuitable. This way Seth can still be with us while Charlie and Bella get settled."

"You're willing to take a teenager for two years, Mr. Masen? That's a big responsibility."

"Isn't that why we're here?" he shot back, an edge of ice to his tone. "Besides, I have kids of my own, I understand the responsibility. And to be honest, ma'am, it wouldn't be for only two years. Seth is a part of our family. We could provide for him what he needs more than any foster parents could. We love him already. Can't you see that?"

By the time Edward was done with his speech, I had tears rolling down my face, my hand covering my mouth as I listened to him. _God, I love this man,_ my heart beat rapidly at the thought. I wanted to hug him, throw my arms around him, kiss him, _show him how much I…_ The last thought shook my from my own head as I focused back on what was transpiring between the two other people in the room.

"Well," Peggy said, shifting back in her seat. "That is definitely something to consider. There is a lot involved in this process, Edward, you do understand? There would be court visits, social workers in and out, all that comes with making sure that that would be in the best interest for Seth."

"I'll do what it takes. We both will," he added on, looking over at me with a smile.

"Alright, then, well, I guess I can suggest that to the judge when we have our court date."

"Wait?" I spoke up. "This isn't over?"

"Oh, honey, we are far from over."

"But what do we do now? Where will he go until then?"

Looking between the both of us, Peggy sighed deeply, standing up from her chair. "Look, I know y'all are good people, and I know firsthand that his mother is a piece of work, and his father is no better. I have a meeting with the judge a week from now, and I'm not going to send Seth back to his home. If you say that you can get space together for him, Mr. Masen, then I suggest you get working. Until then, I don't see a reason why to remove Seth from the Swan house. Just make sure that when the court hearing is settled, things are in order."

"Yes, ma'am," Edward answered, a smile on his face.

I was still unmoving in my seat, trying to process all of this.

"I will get the paperwork in order and will be in touch with you shortly."

We both took that as our dismissal, and we stood, Edward holding the door open for me as I stepped out. Seth shot to his feet as he saw us coming down the hall, and his face fell at the sight of my tears. I, however, just shook my head, gripping him into a tight hug as I began to cry. He hugged me back but looked to Edward for an explanation.

"Come on," Edward said, a hand on my back and the other on Seth's shoulder. "We have some changes to make."

"What do you mean?" Seth asked, breaking our hug.

"Peggy said that staying with Charlie wasn't the best for you; there isn't enough room…"

Seth tried to speak up, Edward held out his hand to stop him. "There isn't, Seth."

"So where am I going?" he asked, panicked, looking between the two of us. "Is that why you are crying? Am I going back?" his voice was loud as he took a step back, putting distance between us.

"No," I said as hot anger shot through me, envisioning him going back to _that _place making my blood boil.

"Then what?"

"Well," Edward started, "if it's okay with you, of course, you're moving in with me."

Seth's eyes went from mine to Edward's, a look of confusion crossing his face. "What?"

"There's room for you there, Seth," I added. "And it's not far from us at all."

"But…you…if he…" Seth started, but Edward just shook his head.

"It doesn't matter," he replied quickly, while I had no idea what they were talking about.

I just shrugged it off and continued, "There's a court hearing next week, but until then you can stay with me until we can get everything settled at Edward's."

"How long? How long am I going to stay there for?" he asked, his words uneven and a little shaky. He didn't look at us; instead he focused on the floor at his feet.

With his hand back on Seth's shoulder, Edward said, "We weren't kidding when we said you were family. This arrangement, if everything works out with the judge, would be in place until you are eighteen." Seth's shoulders dropped as he took another step back, Edward's hand falling. "But you will always have a room, a place to live, a family in my house."

At his last words, Seth's face rose, and he looked at Edward, tears swimming in his eyes, even though he tried his hardest to try and blink them away.

"I won't…I'll leave when I can. I won't burden you that way."

Stepping up to him, I grabbed his chin in my hand, and even though he was a good bit taller than me, I made his eyes meet mine. "If you try to leave me, I will drag your ass back by your skinny little ear. Am I clear?" I spoke out with an eerie calm, not caring if Seth saw my own tears.

"Why?" he choked back.

"Because I am one pain in the ass who loves you." And after a light tap to his cheek, I turned, walking out the door, not waiting for them to follow me. Part of me was pissed that Seth would even think about leaving on his eighteenth birthday, as if either Edward or I would ever let him go. But beyond that, I had so many other things swirling in my mind that I needed a moment, some time to process this. I think we all did. This was life-changing for everyone involved, and I appreciated that the boys came to the car in silence, and we were able to drive back to Charlie's without much conversation.

"Um," Seth started, as we pulled back into the gravel drive, "I just want to, um, I guess….thanks."

I turned around from my spot in the driver's seat of my Prius and smiled at him, reaching for his hand and squeezing it gently.

"We'll talk more about everything soon," I assured, taking a deep breath. "But how about you go spend some time with Rebecca, get out of the house for a bit. I know you probably could use a distraction."

He looked at me with a bashful smile and nodded his head. "We're still on for dinner tonight, right?" he asked with a lot more enthusiasm.

"We are unless Charlie burns the house down."

My answer made Edward scoff in his seat, followed by a few beats of laughter as he undid his seat belt and stepped out of the car.

"Okay," Seth said awkwardly as he gave me a hug before jogging to his beat-up truck.

Edward walked around to my side and grabbed my hand. "Let's go check on that crazy old man, shall we?"

As we walked into the house, it was quieter than it should have been, and I headed as softly as I could into the living room, seeing Charlie spread out on the couch, fast asleep.

"Maybe we should head to my place, let him sleep," Edward offered, whispering behind me.

I turned and smiled at him. "I've never seen your place."

He stepped closer and pulled me to him. "I'll show you mine if you show me yours."

I just rolled my eyes and kissed him. "Okay, I'll give. Take me to yours, Mr. Masen."

We took my car again, but he drove this time, leading us up the road a ways until we reached his house. It was bigger than I expected it to be, since he was divorced, but it was still modest.

"Three bedrooms, two and a half bathrooms…your very average family home," Edward began as we walked up the steps.

"I think it's lovely," I said, taking in the brick structure and expansive yard.

"It's enough space, kids seem to like it." He shrugged off, opening the front door as I stepped inside. The stairs were the first thing seen, the dining room area to the right, and as we walked down the hall into the living room, the kitchen was attached with a small wall separating them. It was more modern than Charlie's house, that was for sure, but it still held the novelties of the famous southern charm.

"The kids' rooms are upstairs," he said, pointing upwards, "and mine is down that way." His head nodded to the left, attached to the opposite side of the living room.

"I love it," I responded with a smiled on my face as I wrapped my arms around his waist.

"It's small," he countered with a frown.

"It's homey."

"It's not what I envisioned myself living in."

I just shook my head as I looked up at him, his eyes too sad for my liking. "You need to stop thinking like that."

"Like what?"

"Like what your life would have been if you didn't drop out of law school. Just live the life you have now and be happy in it."

"It's a lot easier to hear that with you standing right here."

I placed a kiss in the center of his chest, over his tie as he held me tightly. "Are you happy?" I asked, muffled by the fabric of his shirt.

His head came down as his lips pressed into my hair. "I haven't been this happy, Bella, in years."

"You make me happy," I offered, still not looking at him.

I felt as his hand left my waist and gently grabbed my chin, lifting it so I would look straight at him. "I don't want to waste another minute. I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy."

The tears made appeared in my eyes once again as his words registered with me.

"I'm here," I whispered. "You have me."

A magnificent smile gracing his face, his eyes filled with wonder and determination as he leaned down to kiss me, pulling me as close to him as our standing positions would allow. I sighed softly as his tongue pushed into my mouth, and his soft touches became hard and urgent. He mouth moved to my neck, my head automatically falling to the side to give him access. His tongue traced right below my ear, and I bit my lip to keep the moan back.

But without warning, he released me, only then to, a second later, lift me up, my legs draped over his knees, as he carried me to the left, heading to what he had said was his bedroom. _Oh God…_ My heart began to beat wildly as my breathing hitched.

Once inside his door, he didn't turn on the light, the sun coming through the closed shades providing just enough illumination to see but to keep the setting intimate. Once he put me down on my feet, he leaned down to kiss me, tenderly at first.

"I need you. I've never wanted something, _someone_, so much in my entire life," he said with a husky voice, stroking my cheek with his thumb.

"You have me, Edward." I shrugged, hearing the truth behind my words. "You've always had me."

I felt as a single tear slipped from his eye as I held his face to mine, kissing him with everything I had to give as we stood in his bedroom. After a few minutes, Edward pulled back, walking over to the edge of the bed and sitting down, looking at me with the most intense, captivating stare I had ever seen on a man. The unholy smirk on his face made me feel sexy, giving me courage that only Edward could.

_He wants me._ I felt it, I could practically taste it. This was it. After this, there was no turning back, not like I even had a choice to begin with. I had spent my life loving the man who had been my first all those years ago. It was time to show him just how much he had stayed with me…just how much I still loved him.

As he sat at the edge of the bed, quickly taking off his tie, he dug his fingers into the soft mattress, griping the blankets that lay on top. His eyes traveled the path of my hand as I slowly, teasingly, pushed through the buttons of my blouse. His breathing became unsteady as my hands released the buttons and revealed more of my naked flesh, and stopped for a whole beat as I let the crisp blue material fall to the floor. Standing in my gray, tight pencil skirt and black heels, I felt exposed…deliciously so. His blue eyes burned, informing me of his desires with a single look.

Part of my mind wanted me to feel that this was too fast, that only being back in North Carolina for less than two months wasn't enough time, but my heart had other ideas. I didn't care if this maybe was too fast; this was _Edward_. And that was a good enough explanation for me.

My nipples pushed through the white lace of my bra, allowing him to see the effect of his piercing stare. His gaze insisted I step forward, and as I moved before him, I allowed his hands to grip my waist, his palms pressing into my sides as his fingertips grazed my ass. I needed his touch to bring me back down to earth, to ground me here with him.

"Are you sure?" he asked, one more time making sure that this was okay.

Sliding the back of my hand across his cheek, I simply nodded. "Yes," I added after a moment when he didn't make any other moves. "I want you."

Moving his arms further behind me, he found the zipper of my skirt, my hips wiggling back and forth to rid the fabric of my body, the tension leaving some as Edward chuckled at my struggle. My legs were tight from my shoes, albeit shaky, as well. He didn't waste time exploring my body, as I felt his calloused hands glide up the back of my thigh. My matching lace underwear was still a barrier, blocking me from exposing all I had to him.

With a cocky, confident grin, I pushed his shoulders back so he fell to the bed and stepped out of my skirt that was pooled around my ankles and kicked off my shoes. Climbing over him, I sat myself down across his hips and smiled devilishly when I felt just how much I was affecting him. I rubbed myself across ever so lightly, teasing him with the promise of what was to come. Already this felt different, better, _right._

"Bella," he moaned as his eyes shut and his head shot back. The edge to his moan didn't go unnoticed, and I began work on his shirt, pushing the buttons through as I had done my own, allowing the fabric to fall at his sides. Cursing his undershirt, I made a quick attempt to lift it from his stomach, even though his arms were still trapped by the button down. My nails scratched against his skin, enjoying the bumps that were created by his muscles. _I need to touch him, feel him, _was my only thought as the concepts of removing the shirts were forgotten, his skin taking the better half of my attention. As I got higher, I rested my palms on his chest, moving my thumbs over his nipples, liking how he hissed as I made contact with them.

I took time to marvel at him, his lines, the way age had worked on his body, making him even more beautiful, if that was possible. I leaned down to kiss him, having to feel his lips on mine again, and in just a few moments, something sparked, and our kiss deepened, becoming needy and desperate. Gone were the slow, leisurely caresses, and in its place was all that was left of us…desperate, raw passion.

He removed his hands from my waist and instead went to the button of his pants, undoing them in haste and kicking them, along with his boxers, down his legs as I awkwardly sat astride him. I couldn't help but laugh at his hurried expression. _This was happening. _He just rolled his eyes at my laughter, yet he couldn't help but smile widely back.

After kissing him again, he grabbed my arms and pushed me backwards so that I stood up off the bed, and he pulled himself up before his hands went right for the edge of my panties. He yanked them down my legs with such urgency that I had to grab onto his shoulders for support. I laughed again, even more excited for his enthusiasm. The hesitancy that nagged me before completely evaporated and changed to those of desire as I stood there for only a second before he quickly pulled me towards him and back into our earlier position. His legs hung off the edge of the bed, his pants still around his ankles, shoes still on his feet.

"I need you," he breathed out heavily, pulling my breast from the cup of my bra, palming it for a few moments before rolling my nipple between his fingers, making me cry out from the shot of pleasure.

I positioned myself above him, lowering myself enough that he rubbed between my folds, coaxing him in my want for him, my need to have him. His hardness stimulated me even more, causing me to squeeze my eyes shut, and I shivered as a throaty moan escaped my parted mouth. We didn't need to go slow, lead up to anything. We'd had twenty plus years of _leading up_ to get to this moment. I was ready for him…this time, _finally_, I was ready for him.

"Look at me…come on, baby," he instructed, his hand coming to my face, gently cupping my cheek.

Using his chest as support, I pushed up off of him, high enough for his tip to line up with my entrance. And as I smirked at him from above, I lowered myself upon him, our eyes not leaving each other's, as I gasped at the feeling of him being inside me. As I adjusted to his size, I rolled my hips, gaining friction and causing both of us to shudder.

His shirt still partly on, his hair a mess from laying beneath me, his chest starting to glisten with sweat was an absolute sight-one that I would like to enjoy for a very long time. I began to move, using my thighs to rock me upwards, coming back down slowly at first before gaining speed and force. I let my body take over, checking out my mind as I relished in the sensations.

I wanted to watch him, really I did, but the feeling of him inside me, what he was doing to me, was too much, and I had to close my eyes, only being able to focus on the white heat I was feeling. One of his hands stayed on my hip, not really guiding me, but just holding onto me, keeping me to him, as his other hand played with my exposed breast. He gripped me, squeezed me, pinched me, every sensation adding to the building tightness deep in my stomach. I wanted—needed—to be closer to him, to feel him in more than just this way.

I bent forward, resting one of my hands next to his head as the other stayed firmly on his peck, my breathing heavy and erratic as my nails digging into his skin. Kissing him was almost as good as what we were doing now, but combining them was explosive. His tongue pushed into my mouth, his lips claiming mine, wanting and needing me just as much as I did him. I kissed him back, my rhythm faulting as I got caught up in this other action.

I felt his legs move awkwardly below me, and I heard as one shoe dropped to the floor, and then another one. After a few more moments of kissing and rolling my hips against him, he was out of the confines of his pants, and he rolled us over, keeping our bodies connected as he moved to lie above me. Every time our eyes met, I couldn't but smile cheekily, still not really believing that this was happening. Shaking my head and smiling back, he lifted one of my legs, positioning it over his shoulder. I threw my head back against the pillow as he pushed back into me, the traces of my smile replaced with an open mouth as I grunted at how deep this made him, feeling him both buried within me and the friction of his pelvis.

"Fast," I pleaded, urgency returning. "Hard…I need this…you. I need you."

"God, Bella." He didn't waste another second after hearing my request, and he pulled out pretty far before sliding back down so hard and forcefully that my body was pushed further up the bed. I lifted my hands and flattened them against the headboard, knowing that I was in for a good ride.

"You feel so good, so good," he spoke, his voice deep and scratchy. He continued to move, in and out, in and out, harder, faster, again and again, adjusting the angle of his hips and making me cry out in pleasure at the new sensation.

My head was still thrown back, not having the strength to lift it. Moving my leg off his shoulder, I placed both feet down on the bed, using them to help me lift up, matching his thrusts, adding to the jolt of pleasure each time he hit the spot within me.

Sucking at my neck, his right hand traced my breast again, pushing down the fabric of my bra, and I cursed the fact that it hadn't been removed in our quick frenzy.

It had been so long since I felt this attention of a man, and being here with him, I craved it even more, wanting this moment to never end. I wanted his mouth on every inch of my body; I wanted him to lick, bite, push, pull until nothing was left.

I felt his thrusts increase, his rhythm losing sync as he quickened his pace. "I'm almost…" he started. "Are you?"

I didn't respond, knowing that I wasn't close enough to the edge to come before he did, but it didn't matter. I felt his need, and I wanted to give it to him. I held onto him tighter, lifting my hips faster as he groaned out, his one last attempt to keep himself from losing control.

"Bella," he cried, digging his head into my neck as his body shuddered. I felt him release inside me, increasing my stimulation but not being enough to push me quite over. His weight was heavy but not overbearing as he collapsed, spent from his orgasm.

After a few long minutes, he laughed into my neck, and I turned my head, confused.

"Something funny?" I breathed out, still breathless.

"Am I ever going to be able to make you come?" he asked, and his question made me snort out loud.

He pushed himself up so he was resting on his elbows, his white undershirt lying halfway down his torso as the edges of his button up swung at his sides.

"Maybe you need to get more creative," I joked, smiling as he rolled his eyes.

"Creative?" he mocked. "You need me to get creative?" Sitting up on his knees, he shrugged of his wet-with-sweat shirt, throwing it to the side of the bed before lifting up the edge of the cotton shirt and discarding it the same. Even into his forties, Edward was the most attractive man I had ever met. His job kept his body tight, and the sun of the south kept his skin a nice tan. I was tempted to sit up and kiss my way up his stomach and across his chest.

I was still very much aroused, and I wanted nothing more than to feel the delicious release of my own body. I even contemplated doing it myself, but there was no way I was ready for him to watch me do that yet.

"Bella, you are…" he stopped, looking me over as his hand rested on the dip of my hip.

"What?" I prodded, searching for the meaning of the heated intensity behind his blue eyes.

He looked up and met my stare. "I love you." He shrugged after he said it, as if it were the most obvious, most natural thing in the world. "I never stopped."

My eyes closed and I swallowed thickly, everything that I had searched for for the better part of my life being said in those three little words. However, I think Edward took my silence as panic, because not a second later he was lying on top of my again, rubbing his thumb under my eye, urging them to open.

"Too fast?" he asked, accompanied by a forced out chuckle.

I shook my head, not having the words.

"Please say something," he begged, his voice full of uncertainty.

"Do you mean it?" I asked, my eyes still closed.

He kissed both my eyes before making his way across my cheeks and down my neck, not leaving an inch untouched my his mouth.

"If you promise you won't leave me, I promise to love you forever."

I had to open my eyes at his words. _Was he serious? Hadn't I already promised that?_

As if he knew exactly where my thoughts have gone, he pressed his mouth to my ear. "Exactly," he said. "You're here, and I love you."

I couldn't help the smile that over took my face. "You love me," I repeated.

"Yes," he answered simply. "I don't have a lot to offer, Bella, but I do have that."

I took his hand off my cheek and brought it to my lips, placing a kiss in the center of his palm. "That's enough."

For the next few hours, Edward and I made up for twenty three years of lost touches, kisses, and moments of showing each other the depth of everything that we were worth. And he made sure to show just how _creative _he could be.

For the first time in my life I felt complete, whole, worthy, loved.

I knew even before this moment that I was never broken - Edward didn't fix me, but I realized as I lay with him, completely spent, that he made me better, a person finally willing to be loved, and I think that was worth just as much.

**...**

**END NOTES – **

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	23. Chapter 23

**AN- I cannot find the words to thank you enough for all the amazing feedback you guys give me for this story! Thank you for the reviews, recs, Twitter mentions, and PMs. I am truly blown away.**

**Special thanks to the amazing group of ladies who aren't afraid to be honest with me and help me when I'm in too deep. Ginginlee betas & Sammielynnsmom, lizzylillyrose, and Morethanmyself preread…multiple times per chapter even. I love them so dearly. **

**IllicitWriter gets credit for the stunning Pic-Teases each week. **

**WARNING – this chapter was very difficult to write (and re-write) for many reasons. I feel like I have led up to this moment pretty clearly, but it does contain them having sex with each other. There are many reasons why teenagers shouldn't be having sex, and I want you to remember that this is in Bella's POV. She is only seventeen and dealing with stuff she has never dealt with before. I would appreciate your grace.**

…

**Chapter 23**  
**1987**

"I feel so special, Edward," I teased as I took his hand. "You really spent the extra dime on me, huh?" I sat down on the blanket across from him, smiling at him as I tried to modestly tuck my legs beneath myself without my dress showing too much.

"Oh, you know me." He winked, opening the basket and pulling out the paper plates. "Only the finest china for my woman."

I laughed and spread out a napkin on my lap. "How did I ever get so lucky?"

"Eh." He shrugged. "God must have taken pity on you."

"Hey, I'll take all the pity I can get if it means I get a picnic with you."

The skin around his eyes crinkled as he smiled at me, placing a hand over his heart. "Aww!"

I threw a grape at him. "Shut it."

"Abuse, abuse!" he yelled as he ducked from the purple fruit.

"Pansy," I said under my breath in return.

"Okay, for serious now," he began.

"For serious?" I looked at him strangely, mocking his choice of words.

"As I was going to say," he ignored my teasing, "if you thought the paper plates were good, you're going to love this!" He pulled out two Dixie cups from the bottom of the basket and held them up for me to see. "Your champagne glass, my dear," he said in a formal accent as he passed it my way.

"Oh, thank you, good sir."

We both laughed as he went for the bottle of wine he brought.

"Where did you get that stuff, anyway?" I asked as he undid the foil and unscrewed the top. _It didn't even have a cork._ For some reason, I found that even funnier than the Dixie cups.

"I took it from my mom's stash in the basement," he explained.

"What kind is it?" I leaned forward to catch the label on the bottle.

"Strawberry."

"Strawberry Wine?" I asked. "I didn't even know that kind existed."

"It's only the best," he said as if were obvious. "Because like I said before, I only bring the very best for my lady."

"Mmm, well this might be my new favorite." I smiled at him and he winked at me in return.

"It has a very sweet taste. Just like you."

I scoffed at his compliment. "There you go with your famous one-liners again."

He shrugged as he poured the drink into my cup. "They've seemed to work for me thus far."

"I think it's your charm more than it is your little lines."

"It's all part of the same package, baby."

I rolled my eyes and went to take a sip, but Edward's hand shot out and held onto my arm, stopping me.

"Wait," he said. "We have to make a toast."

"A toast to what?" I asked as he poured himself some.

Screwing the top back on the bottle, he put it down beside him, holding up his cup in the air and waited until I did the same. "A toast to…the best summer of my life." His eyes burned into mine, his voice dropping to a much lower volume.

"Of our lives," I corrected, my voice just as low.

He just smiled and moved his arm so he could take a sip, my actions following his. The wine was very sweet, and it tasted almost like candy as I swallowed it down; however, the aftertaste was kind of bitter, making my lips pucker, wanting to take another sip but knowing that the outcome was going to be the same.

"It's bittersweet," I said as we both put the cups beside us, Edward reaching for the rest of the food in the basket.

"Do you like it, though? Is it okay?"

I rolled my eyes at his worried question, smiling at how cute he was when he was trying to impress me. "Yes, it's okay."

As our evening continued, our dinner was finished, and the bottle of wine was topped off, the empty glass being tossed next to the blanket, for that moment forgotten. Time passed quickly, the sun barely lingering in the sky.

It was a cooler evening that what I was used to living here. It wasn't cold by any means, but tonight, for some reason, the heat wasn't unbearable. There was a breeze that filtered through the overgrown grass, and I felt it on my uncovered skin. My back was pressed to Edward's front, in between his legs as he sat against the trunk of the tree. My hands were resting on his bent jean covered knees, his fingertips making patterns up the length of my arms.

The late July sun was setting, casting a picturesque glow around us, allowing us to be a part of its beauty. I let my head tip back, resting it on his shoulder, shutting my eyes in an attempt to secure this moment to memory, never wanting to forget what his hands felt like, what the grass smelled like, how happy I was just sitting right here…being with him. It was all slipping by too fast.

"What are you thinking?" he asked in a low voice, his mouth right next to my ear.

"Hmm," I sighed with a smile on my face.

"You're so pretty when you smile," he said next, his nose pressing against the side of my head before his lips found my skin.

"I'm glad you think I'm nice to look at, Mr. Masen," I said, chuckling.

He wrapped his arms fully around me then, hugging me tightly and swaying us back and forth a bit. My hands came up to grab his, molding our fingers together, and I bent my head forwards to kiss the side of his thumb.

"I'm really going to miss you," he spoke, his words barely audible.

I couldn't help but stiffen under his grip. "Can we not talk about that? It's not like you're leaving tomorrow."

"I know," he responded sadly. "But it's going to happen sooner than we think."

My blood seemed to suddenly run cold. I shut my eyes, taking a deep breath. _We still have time left._

"I'm not ready to say goodbye yet," I voiced in a tight tone, feeling that I needed to defend our relationship and to erase whatever he might have been thinking.

As if confused by my sudden severity, he said, "I'm not either, Bella."

I turned around in his lap so I could look at him. "Then don't act like this is it. This isn't it." Shaking my head, I gripped at the blanket beneath us.

His face softened as realization dawned on him. "I know that, baby. I didn't mean it like that."

Satisfied with his answer, I took another deep breath, turning back around to our earlier position. "Okay." I sighed, resting my arms on his legs again.

"I just," he started, pausing for a moment as he looked for the right words. "Bella, you scare the shit out of me."

A laugh came out of my mouth without even realizing it. "Come on, Edward, be serious."

"God, you don't get it…I am being serious! I've never, _ever_, felt this way about somebody before. Yeah, I've had girlfriends, dated other people, but I've never met anyone like you…I've never fallen for someone like I have with you," he added the last part on in a very quiet voice. "And it scares me," he continued, "because I don't get to keep you. I'm in so deep, Bella; it feels like I'm drowning."

I didn't say anything; I couldn't say anything. We both just listened to the chorus of the field—the birds, the wind, the cars passing on the road behind the rows of trees a few hundred yards behind us. I listened to his breathing, listened for his heart, wondering if it was as fragile as mine seemed to be. I felt that with every touch of his lips, with every whisper of his deep voice, my once strong heart was being changed into one of glass. The only protective case for it was Edward. The only one who could break it, however, was also Edward.

It could go either way. I understood exactly what he meant when he said he was scared.

"I get it," I said after a few silent minutes. "I know what you're feeling, what you're going through."

"You do?" he questioned, pushing forward and tilting his head so he could look at my face. His position forced me to sit up and turn around, resting my weight on one of my arms while the other played with the patterns on the blanket.

"Sure I do." I lifted my eyes to his.

"Can I tell you something?" he asked, a lightness to him now. He maneuvered his body so he was sitting on his knees, right in front of me, and he grabbed my face, leaning in to kiss me once, twice, before sitting back.

His hands fell to grab my one hand that was resting in front of me, and he took it between both of his. I felt as there was a slight tremor to his touch, a quiver that I found very endearing.

"So, I've kind of wanted to tell you this for a while, but I just…I just either didn't think it was the right time or chickened out."

I smiled, watching as his fingertips played with my skin.

"But I guess there really won't ever be a perfect moment, and every time that I don't tell you, I just end up regretting it later."

I slowly roamed my eyes from his hand, up his arm, over his shoulder, across his jaw, lips, cheek, before I got to his eyes, and the blue shined brighter than I have ever seen on his before, and I was able to see the last specks of the sun shining in them before it dipped below the horizon, darkness falling upon us.

"Bella," he started before taking another deep breath, "I'm in love with you."

"You are?" I chuckled, looking up at him with a cheeky grin and a raised eyebrow.

He knocked me back so I fell to the grass and he climbed over me. Laughing, he leaned down to kiss me. "Say it back," he said against my lips.

"A little presumptuous?" I teased, kissing his cheek, his chin, the tip of his nose.

"I know you love me," he answered, bringing his mouth right next to my ear.

"And how do you know that?" I breathed out, shutting my eyes as he kissed the dip in my neck.

"I feel it on your skin when I touch you." He proved his words as his fingertip ran down the length of my arm. "I can hear it in your laugh, see it in your smile. It's written all over you." He continued to kiss along my jaw before he found my mouth.

I deepened the kiss and held him to me. He was right. I knew it; he knew it.

"I do love you," I said when he pulled back, causing him to laugh and look from back and forth between my eyes.

"Yeah?" he asked playfully.

"So now you're questioning it!" I laughed again as he held his bottom lip between his teeth.

"Say it again."

"You say it again," I countered, my hands playing with one of the buttons on his shirt.

"I love you."

My eyes lifted, meeting his. "Show me?" My voice was quiet, and his face became more serious, losing the child-like grin.

"Bella," he said sitting back up so he was kneeling, resting on the back of his feet. "I've never…I've never done that before."

His admission, for some reason, surprised me. I was sure that he would have with someone here. "Really?" I asked, and I was sure he could see how confused I was.

"I mean," he began, running a hand through his hair, "I've done _stuff,_ but, um, never that."

I sat up then, moving so I was on my knees in front of him, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing his cheek before I found his lips. "Good," I said. "That means I can be your first." I smiled into his skin, and when I pulled back, he was looking at me with a face of wonder and amusement.

"Will I be your first?" he asked, playing with the strap of my dress, stroking the skin around my shoulder. "Yes," I answered, even though I thought he already knew.

"Good," he echoed, smiling at me then.

The air around us changed once again, the silliness being sucked away when his mouth met mine. His hands became more deliberate, holding my face to his. We both knew that this was it. This was happening.

He pushed me back so I was lying on the blanket, the pressed down grass being the only sort of pillow for my head. Opening my eyes and looking up, I saw the darkening blues and blacks of the night sky, the stars scattered across the horizon, being outshone by the large, late July moon.

The breeze cooled our overheated skin, but it couldn't keep the heat from racing through my veins as Edward leaned down over me and pressed lips to my offered neck. He kept his lips there for a long moment as I took a shuddering breath, my hands running down the length of his back. I fluttered my eyes closed as he moved to kiss my mouth, my lips parting for him to come deeper. He did not disappoint.

Our legs were spread out awkwardly beneath us, Edward's one knee resting on the outside of one of my thighs as his other was between my legs. His torso was heavy on my own, pushing me into the earth as I struggled to breathe normally.

Our tongues continued to dance with each other, his hands holding my face as his thumb made patterns against my hot flesh. This wasn't anything different than we had done before, but the fact that I knew where it was going, made the nerves come on full force. I wanted this. I wanted to do this. But knowing that didn't make me any less fearful.

Eventually his right hand left my cheek, sliding down and playing with the base of my neck, the rise and fall of my chest seeming that much more obvious. His fingertips seemed to dance along my skin, their movements burning and nerve-wracking, terrifying and exhilarating all at the same time. I felt like it took forever for the journey of his hand to make it over my breast, down the side of my stomach, and past the bottom material of my dress.

He held onto my thigh tightly, and I couldn't help but wonder if he was just as nervous as I was, if he was trying to ground himself to this moment here with me as I was trying to with him. I wanted to reassure him, to tell him that this was okay, that this was what I wanted, but I knew if I opened my mouth to try and voice anything, coherent words would not be what were heard. My mind was too much of a mess to say anything, to do anything other than kiss him.

My mind was very separate to my body at this moment in time, lost amongst the stars in the sky as Edward moved to kiss down my neck, sucking lightly on my skin.

I lifted myself off of the ground as he grabbed at the bottom of my dress, tugging upwards to remove it. And as I lay in nothing but my white cotton bra and matching underwear, I held my breath as he looked me over, not meeting my eyes as his hands searched for the clasp at my back.

When the only thing left was my panties, I lifted my shaking hands and pushed through the buttons on his blue plaid shirt, trying and failing to move quickly so I could even out the states of our undress. I felt too exposed, too open while he got to remain hidden.

"Bella, relax," he finally said at my third attempt to get the second button undone, his hand coming to my cheek, urging my eyes to meet his. "It's okay," he continued, whispering the words of encouragement. He leaned down and kissed my lips once, softly, before he sat back up and undid the shirt himself.

Shrugging it off his shoulders, he tossed it to the side, lifting up his white undershirt and doing the same. When his chest was bare, I let my hand run across it, starting at his heart and traveling down his abs, resting at the top of his jeans.

"Will you take these off?" I asked, staring at the hair on his lower abdomen rather than his face.

He didn't answer me with words; he just undid his belt and popped the button, lowering the zipper and pushing them down his thighs. He looked funny as he tried to remove the dark material while he was still kneeling, and if I was significantly less nervous, I would have maybe even laughed at him. It got really weird when he forgot to take his shoes off, and the jeans got stuck, Edward having to sit down fully to remedy the situation. But when all of that was taken care of, a very flustered, still aroused, Edward came back to lay atop of me, dressed in only his green boxers.

I felt better that we were both equally as naked, equally as vulnerable.

"Just kiss me, okay?" I voiced shakily, and he nodded, coming back down to do as I asked. Our naked chests pressing together felt good, though, reminding me of exactly what we were doing.

He groaned into my mouth as his body shifted upwards, pressing himself into me as my hips bucked on their own accord at the feeling. His lips worked down my body next, lingering on my neck before he found one of my nipples, taking it into his mouth and biting lightly, my chest rising up from the ground as my back arched.

Taking it as my approval, Edward continued his assault on my sensitive skin, using his hand to kneed the other as he licked, nipped, sucked, and kissed, over and over again until my breathing changed from nervous shallow intakes to one of breathless moans and heavy sighs. With bolder movements, Edward worked his way downwards, kissing and making patterns with his tongue over my ribs and across my stomach, the tingling he created being too much for me to keep quiet.

Holding my waist, he placed open mouth kisses across one hip and then the other, sucking on my skin right above the fabric of my underwear. Pushing it down slightly with his jaw, his mouth went lower, dancing along the fine line of where my stomach ended and another area began.

But instead of going farther south, he made his way back up, finding my breast again before searching for my mouth, making no time for soft leisurely kisses. I could tell he was worked up, in a frenzy as his body seemed to practically vibrate above mine. I let my hands run over his arms that were next to my head, feeling the dips and bumps of his muscles and the texture of his veins beneath his skin.

His shoulder blades were next, my fingers scratching at the crevices beneath them before I flattened my hands at the center of his back. I pushed him down further into me, enjoying his weight in the right spot as he held himself up. I finally dared to look at his face, and what I saw made the butterflies return in urgency. He was staring at me, his lips parted, breathing ragged, eyes holding only one purpose.

I pulled his lips back to mine then, not being able to take the intensity of his stare, scared that he would see and realize that I could not offer the same look in return. His face was full of lust, seduction while mine was frozen in nerves, mixed with the underlines of want and love. But the latter seemed to struggle to the surface, but I didn't dare say anything, not wanting to ruin this moment for us. This was our summer, our perfect summer, and this would make us—this—perfect.

He said he loved me, and I knew I loved him. This is what people who were in love did. I knew there wasn't anyone else that I wanted to lose my virginity to, and I knew that it was either now or never. This night was as good as any, and I didn't want to regret not doing something. I wanted to give myself to Edward. My heart was already his, so it only felt right to give my body as well.

But I knew it was going to hurt; I knew that it wasn't going to feel good when he entered me, but every girl experienced that the first time. I knew, as he continued to work on my neck, outlining my ear with the tip of his tongue, that he would take care of me. He would go slow, and ease in carefully.

I trusted him to be my first, but was I in the wrong for wanting to just get it over with already? I was afraid that my nerves would pull me back, and I didn't want that to happen. I wanted to be with him, to feel him, to be his first. So, I mustered up all of the courage left within me, and I pushed on his shoulders, forcing him to lift up and remove his mouth from me.

"I want to do this," I said, brushing the fallen hair out of my face. "I want to be with you…this way."

"Now?" he asked, searching my eyes for something I wasn't sure they held.

"Yes."

"Um, okay," he agreed, sitting up for a second and running his hand through his hair. "I don't really know what I'm doing," he finally admitted, just looking down at me when his hands fell to his sides.

His insecurity gave me a bit more confidence, and I sat up with him, kissing him on the lips softly before I hooked my thumbs in my underwear, not looking at him as I shimmied them over my hips and down my thighs, having to sit back down to remove them the rest of the way. I tossed them into the pile of the rest of the clothes and sat with my knees bent, naked but still covering myself as I wrapped my arms around my legs, waiting for Edward to do the same.

He did, watching me as he removed his own underwear, fumbling over the blanket to get to his jeans, searching for the back pocket for his wallet. I was confused at what he was doing until he pulled out a condom, holding it up for me to see and smiling sheepishly.

Taking a deep breath, I lay back down, closing my eyes as I heard him tear the foil, not wanting to see him put it on himself. When he was done, his head bent down and he kissed my knee that was still raised in the air, his hands gently coming to slide between them, softly prying them apart so my legs rested to my sides. I was completely spread before him, and I opened my eyes to see that he was looking at me there. His head rose a bit so his eyes were on mine, and he smiled.

"Are you sure?" he asked, and I nodded my head yes in response.

He leaned over me then, his elbows coming right above my shoulders as his face was only an inch away.

"I love you," he whispered, kissing my lips.

"I love you," I said back, surprised that I was even able to say anything. This was it; in a few seconds, I wouldn't be a virgin anymore. I took another deep breath, shutting my eyes again.

I felt as his hips moved against mine, his erection lining up as he moved his hand to put it where it needed to be. I felt the tip of it, and I squeezed the blanket beneath my hands, griping it in my fists.

And then slowly, ever so slowly, he pressed into me, my head turning to the side as his forehead fell at my neck. We both released a deep, shuddering breath, but his seemed to be more in pleasure while mine held nothing but pain.

"Are you…are you okay?" he tried to speak as evenly as he could.

I turned my head to look at him, and he lifted his to look at me back. I needed his eyes; I needed him to reassure me. "Uh huh," I answered. "Just keep," my breath hitched as he moved again, "going."

He tried to kiss me throughout it, but he couldn't concentrate on doing two things at once, so he would sometimes kiss my neck and alternate with my mouth. But then it got really awkward when his mouth just hung open against mine, so I turned by head and wrapped my arms around him, pulling him to me so his head rested at the crook of my shoulder.

I just lay there while he did all the work, thinking that if I helped and moved at all, something was bound to break inside me. I concentrated on my breathing. _This will be over soon,_ I chanted to myself.

His body felt wet against mine, sweating heavily and sliding against my skin. I hated to say it, but it just further grossed me out. This whole experience was nothing that I thought it would be. It hurt...it hurt like _hell_...and I didn't feel any closer to Edward even though he was as close as he could physically get.

The pain didn't lessen, but my resolve and reasoning for doing this did. I felt too young, too inexperienced, not ready. He kept going, and the only sounds that filled the night were from him, and it seemed like forever and equally no time at all before he was done, collapsed against me.

My legs hurt, my muscles hurt, my whole body just ached, and when he pulled out, sitting up and looking at the sky, for some reason, that hurt too. He didn't look at me when he tried to regain his breathing. He didn't say anything or come to lie with me. And it all made me feel very alone.

The cool night air suddenly felt cold, and I squeezed my eyes shut to try and keep from crying. I really didn't even know why exactly I wanted to cry, but I did. I had wanted this; I had initiated this. But all I really felt afterwards was that Edward just took something from me, and I wanted it back.

It wasn't his fault, it was my fault, but I just wanted my mom. I wanted her to tell me this was okay, that what I did was okay, because right now I didn't feel like it was. I was so confused.

The silence between us continued to stretch on, and eventually Edward came to lie next to me, our bodies not touching as he looked up at the sky. I wasn't sure of what I was supposed to do. What was I supposed to say? It was awkward, and he felt miles away.

Knowing that I just wanted to go home and shower, sleep this off and hopefully feel better in the morning, I turned my head to look at him. "Can, um, can you take me home?"

He looked over at me then, as if he had forgotten that I was lying there, and his face held a look of confusion before he answered, "Okay." Sitting up, he passed me my clothes, and I sat up, putting them back on with shaking hands.

I was slipping my sandals back on as he packed up the basket, and I saw the deep colored stain on the blanket, suddenly realizing that was blood from me. For whatever reason, that was my breaking point, and the significance of everything we had just done crashed upon me. I started crying, turning around and practically running to the truck, my hand covering my mouth to keep from being too loud.

"Bella!" he yelled, leaving the basket and the blanket as he took off after me.

I was already in the truck when he got there, but he didn't go to the driver's side, instead he came around to where I was, throwing open the passenger side door and saw me curled over, hugging my knees as I cried. I flinched away from his touch.

I didn't want him to touch me. I wanted to take it back.

I wanted my innocence back. I wanted to be a little girl again.

"Bella, please," he begged, the fear so evident in his voice that it made me cry harder.

It wasn't his fault. He was only doing what we both wanted, what we both talked about.

"Please stop," I cried again when his arms went to hug me, but he didn't listen. I didn't want him to see me like this. I was embarrassed and insecure and completely out of my element. He pulled me into a hug anyway.

I started punching at his chest, trying to lessen his grip. But the harder I fought, the harder he held on.

"Baby, please, please," he repeated, but the use of the word "baby" only hurt worse.

"Stop," I cried, my pounds getting weaker. "No." My voice was so low that I wouldn't have been surprised if he didn't hear it as I finally gave up and allowed him to hold me, my head on his shoulder as I cried into his neck.

He didn't let go. He didn't leave. He didn't stop.

He scooted me over further into the truck as he climbed in beside me, sitting down and holding me to him. His hand brushed back my hair, keeping my face to his chest as he tried to sooth me. I felt his tears fall, pooling at the top of my head as we sat there for an unknown amount of time.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he chanted, thinking that I was blaming him.

But I wasn't blaming him. I was blaming me. I just didn't have to the words to tell him that. I was feeling so many things at once, so many emotions that I couldn't place them all. I didn't know how to deal with all of them. My only reaction was to cry, the only way my body knew how to deal with the guilt, the confusion, how sorry I was for treating Edward this way.

My cries eventually stopped, my chest finally being able to take a full breath, but the tears still streamed down my face. My head was still awkwardly pressed right bellow his neck, and his arms were like an iron grip across the top of my back, keeping me from going anywhere. Even when he realized that I would stop fighting him, he didn't release me, which only sent my emotions further in a downward spiral of guilt and sorrow. I knew he loved me, and I was letting him down by acting like a child. But a child was very much how I felt.

When Edward, sometime later, looked at his watch, he said it was going on midnight, and I knew I needed to get home. Charlie would be worried if we stayed out much later, and I was glad for the excuse to leave this place. He climbed out but scooted me back over, reaching for the seat belt and clicking me in, not meeting my eyes while I stared down at my lap.

Saying that he would come back and get everything that we left by the tree, he walked over to his side of the truck and started it up.

The only sounds made on the way back was that of the loud engine as we left the place where I gave away my childhood, my purity. The only thing I got to leave with was a confused heart and a scared boyfriend.

It wasn't fair.

I wanted it back. And I was pretty sure, as he kissed my forehead before I got out of the truck at my uncle's, he did, too.

…

**END NOTES—**

**I don't want your hate mail. There has been plenty of foreshadowing by both Edward and Bella in the older chapters that has referred to this moment. **

**To ease some of your fears: No, this is not their downfall. No, this is not why Bella never came back. No, this obviously doesn't affect or change where they are now. No, no, and no. **

**Not every time teens have sex for the first time is it perfect and happy. If you've been reading carefully enough, Bella has just started exploring her sexuality, and she—along with most teens—don't realize the emotional consequences of having sex with someone. And yes, we all love Edward, and she does too, but sex is not child's play. This might have been more intense and not like what you went through, but she is confused, and this was the only way she knew how to cope with everything that she was feeling. **

**This story is not going to have unnecessary angst, but this **_**is**_** going to be Bella's story. This is what she went through. All of that being said, please be respectful if you review. **

**And in better news…two updates a week means happier times ahead. And if you're really down, go read the last chapter in PRESENT time, where the two **_**adults**_** share some good lovin'. **


	24. Chapter 24

**AN—WE PASSED 1000 REVIEWS! Um, I cannot even believe it! Thank you all who have left me some lovin'! I'll figure out how to make the poll on my ffnet page and y'all can vote which EPOV outtake you want. **

**Someone really awesome nominated SW in the Tomato Soup Awards for the Vitamin R category (Best Charlie), so thank you, thank you! Nominations are still open, and I'll let y'all know when voting starts! **

**I really wanted to reply to every single review for the last chapter, but considering that it was only four days ago, and I needed to write this chapter, I didn't. But THANK YOU for not flaming me. My heart goes out to everyone who shared about themselves. I promise I love you for it! **

**The lovely Sue, Roselover24, wrote a fantastic review of SW and interviewed me for the blog: So You Think You Can Write? Check it out at SYTYCW(dot)blogspot(dot)com **

**Thanks to my beautiful team who has had a hand in this: Ginginlee for betaing, and Lizzylillyrose, Sammielynnsmom, & Morethanmyself for prereading. I love them HARD! **

**Are you ready for this one? See you at the bottom! **

…

**Chapter 24**

**2010**

"Can we get bunk beds?"

"Please, God, no."

"But that would be so cool!"

"Patrick," Seth continued, "if we put the beds like this, we don't need to bunk them."

"But we could play Pirate Ship!" Pat rebutted.

"But if we do it this way," he motioned to how they were now – in an 'L' shape against the far wall – with a kind smile on his face, "then we can both play the PS3 at the same time in _epic _battles of Lego Star Wars."

Edward and I both watched from the door as Patrick thought this over, bringing his hand up to stroke his non-existent beard on his chin. "I suppose that may work," he replied slyly, causing Seth to hold up his hand in a high five.

"You boys ready for dinner?" Edward asked, alerting them to our presence in the room, and both boys shot around with smiles on their faces.

"Is Bella cooking?" Seth questioned with a smirk in my direction.

"It's your lucky night, Seth; we ordered pizza for dinner," I shot back.

"Oh _thank God," _he exaggerated, leaning his head back and sighing deeply.

"Watch it, kid!" I warned, pointing at him with one hand while the other stayed glued to my hip.

He laughed and walked over to me, turning me around and hugging me from behind as we all walked out of the room. "I'm just kidding, Old Maid. You know your cooking is five-star restaurant worthy."

"Yeah, yeah." I rolled my eyes as he let go and took off down the steps with Patrick hot on his tail. "You got kitchen duty for that comment, though!" I yelled after him, Edward chuckling when we heard a loud groan in return.

I was just about to take the first step when Edward pulled on my hand, bringing me back and hiding us from view around the corner. My back was to the wall, and he hovered above me, leaning down to kiss my lips.

My arms found their way around his waist, enjoying the feeling of having him flush against me. The past three days since the meeting with Peggy had been crazy with talking to the kids, making room for Seth in Edward's house, and then moving today. We were lucky that the only casualty amongst all the chaos was when my phone fell out of my purse and was accidentally run over by Edward's truck.

It had been crazy, and busy, and so good. But with all the hectic running around, Edward and I had barely gotten a second to ourselves.

"Where are you going so fast?" he whispered, his breath hot on my neck before he placed another kiss right below my ear.

I only had the time to laugh quietly before we heard the familiar voice from downstairs. "YO! Your pizza's getting cold!"

"Yeah, come on, Dad!" Patrick echoed Seth's calls for us, even though the seven-year-old was none the wiser.

Walking side-by-side into the kitchen, Edward threw a balled up napkin at Seth's head, Patrick finding it especially hilarious.

"I see how you play, Edward," Seth said cryptically as he turned around to look at us, a pulled up smile on his face to let us know he was up to no good. "Just remember, I know where you sleep."

"I ain't scared of you, boy," Edward responded, chuckling as he got a piece of peperoni pizza.

"Where's Lana?" I asked, pulling out five cups and setting them on the counter.

"She's outside," Patrick answered, pointing out the window to the back deck where we could see the back of her red hair on the swing.

"I'll go tell her dinner's ready," I offered, Edward already taking a seat at the table.

I opened up the door, and her head turned at the noise, a small smile pulling at her mouth when she saw me.

"Hey, Lana," I started. "Dinner's inside if you're hungry."

She just shrugged, continuing the momentum she had going on the swing, making no effort to stand up and join us.

"Okay," I said softly, closing the door and walking over to where she was. She stopped the swing long enough for me to sit down, and then both of us pushed with our feet to get the movement back. I didn't say anything, choosing instead to look out at the yard and rest my hands in my lap.

"Aren't you hungry?" she questioned, looking at me strangely.

I shrugged and smiled at her. "Dinner can wait," was my only response before I turned back to my view of the trees in the distance. I didn't make another effort to say anything.

"Is this some reverse psycho-thing where you somehow get me to talk to you?" she asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

I laughed, shaking my head but still not looking at her. "We don't have to talk at all, honey."

I went back to being quiet, staring off while she kept her eyes on me, choosing not talking either.

"I don't have anything to say," she continued after a silenced filled minute.

"Okay," I responded.

"This isn't going to get me inside to eat dinner, you know."

I shrugged nonchalantly.

We swung for another few minutes in silence. I didn't say anything, look at my watch, look inside, make an effort to move – nothing. She, on the other hand, fidgeted in her seat as if there were ants crawling inside her clothing. She didn't understand why I was being quiet, but she didn't make an effort to break it, either. If I were being honest with myself, I had no idea what I was doing, but Charlie used to pull this silence crap on me, and I'll be damned if I didn't want it to have the same effect on Lana.

And right on cue, she threw her hands up in the air, surrendering, as she yelled out, "Fine!"

Trying to hold in my excited smile, I looked at her with a raised brow.

"It's not fair, okay!" She pulled at her hair and brought her feet up to the swing, tucking her head between her knees.

I knew better than to say anything.

"I understand, really, I get it. Seth needs somewhere to stay. And Dad told me why he was staying here, and it's not like I don't want him here but…"

I continued the push and pull of the swing, waiting patiently for her to tell me the whole story.

Finally, she looked up at me with tears in her eyes. "I just don't need another reason for my dad to forget about me."

Knowing that it was then my time to say something, I took a deep breath and wrapped my arm around her, and surprising even me, she scooted closer and rested her head on my shoulder.

Instead of giving her the same old crap that her dad would never forget about her, I searched my brain for something that would help a ten-year-old.

"Have you tried talking to your dad about how you feel?" I asked in a quiet voice, not wanting to break the bubble we seemed to be in.

I felt as she shook her head no.

"I bet he would hate it if he knew how upset you were over this and didn't come to talk to him," I continued.

"I just don't want Seth to leave because of me."

"I don't think Seth leaving is going to help whatever is going on between you and your father, honey. I know for a fact that he doesn't have any clue you're upset, and I hate to break it to you, but men in general don't ever catch on that easy."

"I don't want to sound needy. I wasn't going to say anything to anyone about it until you came out here." She huffed at the end, realizing her defeat to the ploy of silence.

"Can I tell you a secret?" I asked as I rested my head on top of hers.

"Yeah."

I leaned down so I could whisper in her ear, "You're your daddy's little girl. It's okay to be needy."

She sighed heavily, and I watched as her hand came up and wiped her cheek.

"Would you like me to talk to him for you?"

She didn't say anything as she wrapped her arms back around her legs. "Maybe when, um, no one's around, or something," she answered in a very quiet voice.

I couldn't help my smile. "Okay, honey."

After another silent minute, I pulled away from her and smiled at her widely. "How about this, I forgot to pick up dessert, so maybe after dinner I could send you and your dad to go get some ice cream for us. Would you like that?"

Her timid smile and nod told me she did, and I was more shocked than anyone when she threw her arms around me. "Thanks, Bella."

"Oh, honey," I responded the only words that came to mind, not believing that she had any reason to thank me.

"So you got pizza?" she asked when we pulled away, and I stood up, reaching for her hand.

"Your favorite kind, actually," I answered, smiling as we both walked back into the house to join the others.

**O.o**

I woke up the next morning later than I had wanted to. Without a working phone, I no longer had an alarm clock. I really did try to figure out how to use the alarm feature on the clock that was next to my bed, but after the third time it went off in the middle of the night last night, I unplugged the damn thing and legitimately debated setting it on fire.

But I couldn't complain about my new and improved wake-up call, however, especially when I felt the bed dip beside me and arms encircle my waist.

I breathed in deeply, the light smell of cinnamon and a hint of citrus surrounding me, and I snuggled in deeper.

"I could get used to this," I mumbled, still refusing to open my eyes, letting the last few moments of slumber linger.

I felt as his lips kissed my bare shoulder, moving higher to place soft kisses along my neck.

"Charlie's going to kill you for being up here."

He chuckled and playfully bit at my skin. "Who knew you could be so talkative in the morning?" he quipped, rolling me over and climbing on top of me.

I still had my eyes shut, just to be annoying. "Bam, bam," I mimicked the sounds of a shotgun as Edward's hand pushed under the hem of my tank-top, moving deliberately upwards.

"Thank you, ma'am." He laughed at his own lame joke, and I couldn't help but chuckle, opening my eyes to him.

"You really do have guts, mister."

"Hey, where's the fun in life if there isn't a little danger in it?" he spoke in a hushed tone, becoming riskier with his ministrations.

I sighed in contentment as his hand came in contact with breast, and I brought his mouth to mine, kissing him deeply. "You know you have me wrapped around your finger with those hands of yours," I said into his ear as he kissed and nipped his way down my neck, my shirt pushed almost all the way up.

"Right where I want you." He laughed into my skin.

"But seriously," I asked as his lips lingered on the lower part of my abdomen, "where is my uncle?"

"Emmett took him out. Charlie was going crazy in the house. He just wanted some fresh air, new scenery."

I pushed up on my elbows and looked down at him. It was a beautiful sight, considering where his head was in relation to the rest of my body, but even that view couldn't keep my worry at bay. "Do you think that's safe? You know how frail Charlie is."

Edward just shrugged. "You can't keep him from living his life, Bella. What's a life if you're cooped up inside all day?"

I just sighed heavily and threw my head back down on the pillow, and Edward sensed my frustration and came to lie next to me.

"Hey," he said softly, resting his hand on my stomach, his touch not at all provocative as it was before.

"We still haven't talked to him about what Peggy said." I turned my head so I could meet his eyes.

"I thought we were going to do that when everything was settled with Seth so it wouldn't be too much at one time for him."

"I know." I sighed, my hands going to my hair and pulling at the roots. "I just don't know what the hell I'm going to do."

"You don't have to figure it out today. One step at a time."

"We need to get Charlie to a specialist. His lungs are failing him. I feel like he's literally deteriorating in front of our eyes."

It was Edward's turn to take a deep breath before releasing it through his nose, a look of contemplation across his face. "I talked to him yesterday about that."

"You what?" I asked, not at all expecting the words.

Edward rolled over to his back, looking up at the white ceiling while my head stayed turned towards him, watching his blank face.

"I told him that you were worried, that we both were." He paused, scratching the back of his head before continuing, "I told him that I thought he was getting worse, and that this wasn't a game. He needed to get help."

When he stopped talking, I waved my hand for him to keep going. "And?"

His head turned so I could see the defeated look in his blue eyes. "You know your uncle better than I do, Bella."

I punched the bed at my side and turned my head back so I was looking up. "Damn that stubborn old man!" I cursed. "He's going to die before his time if he doesn't get himself to a doctor." I punched the bed again for good measure before a memory came to my mind, and my head swerved back towards Edward. "Wait…what about that girl you told me about? Lisa? Laura? Leah? Something?" I wracked my brain for the right name, but we had only talked about it once.

"She's in Florida on vacation until September. I called her office last week."

"Damn."

Edward rolled back over so he was on his side and took my left hand in his. "We'll figure it out, Bella. One thing at a time." His smile was genuine enough that I couldn't help but offer him a small smile in return. Edward…ever the optimist – just one of the things that had changed in the past twenty years.

…

"So what do you want to do today?" Edward asked as we drank our coffee at Charlie's kitchen table. I was still in just shorts and my tank-top, Edward dressed in khakis and one of his fire station t-shirts.

"I need a new phone," I grumbled into my mug, still mourning the death of my beloved Blackberry.

"I need to get Lana a birthday present," Edward said next.

"We need to get those storage bins for the boys' room, too!" I reminded.

"And I have to do my bills, since it's the first of the month."

"Wow, that's right." I pulled at my hair and put it up into a ponytail. "I can't believe that it's August already."

"Summer is flying by." I saw his smirk reside on half of his mouth.

"What are you smiling about, Mr. Masen?" I inquired, raising an eyebrow and lowering my coffee mug.

"Just how different it is."

"Meaning?"

"Remember how torn up we were the last August we spent together. Every moment felt like I was saying goodbye to you."

"And that makes you smile?" I quipped, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Of course not." He rolled his eyes and looked at me pointedly.

"Then what?" I matched his happy look, the reason finally dawning on me, even though I wanted to hear it from him.

"The difference being, darlin', is that this time, September can kiss my college graduated ass!"

I laughed loudly and agreed, nodding my head. "Well, Ohio can also shove it, because I'm not going back there, either. "

"That's my girl." Edward winked, taking another sip of his coffee. "See, being adults isn't so bad."

I scoffed, my mocking laugh holding a lot less humor. "Too bad we still have bills to pay, I'm not sure if I have a job, and most days I feel like I'm flying by the seat of my pants."

"Just relax, Bella." A charming smile lit his face. "Just enjoy the life you're living. Didn't you say that to me once?" he asked knowingly.

"Do as I say, not as I do," I responded, earning a deep laugh from him in return.

He got up from his seat and grabbed my empty coffee cup, placing a kiss on my head before bringing them over to the sink.

"Okay, pretty girl. Our day awaits. You ready?"

**O.o**

By the time we had finished our running around, it was rounding six o'clock. Edward helped me carry the few odds and ends that I had bought into Charlie's house, and the old man was in the living room, watching an old movie play on his equally as old television.

"Hey, baby," he greeted, turning his head to the left as we walked in. "Missed you today."

I dropped the bags by the door and walked over and kissed his wrinkled cheek. "Hey, yourself! I didn't know you were going to run off today!"

"Well, if you didn't sleep like a dead cat, I would have told ya."

I laughed and patted his shoulder, agreeing with him. "Okay, okay, point taken. Did you have fun, though? How is Emmett?"

"Fine, fine," he said with a wave of his hand. "Where have you been all day?"

"Gallivanting around town. You know, burning the place down just for fun," I replied smartly.

"Ha," he scoffed. "Some things never change."

With a wink towards him, I walked into the kitchen, putting the milk and eggs away in the fridge that Edward had brought him.

"Seth's out back, I take it," Edward spoke to Uncle Charlie as he brought him a glass of water to sooth the coughing fit he had broken out into after our conversation.

"Mmm-hmm," he hummed, talking the water from Edward's outstretched hand. "He still works for me, you know."

"Yeah, I know." Edward answered with a smile. "I'm going to go back out and check on him, okay?"

"I'll come with you!" I yelled out.

I followed behind Edward as he walked out of the back door, and I grabbed his hand once we reached the steps of the porch.

"So, there's kind of something the three of us need to talk about," Edward spoke in a low voice as we made our way out to the barn.

"Is everything okay?" I asked, equally as quiet.

"There's just some…history…that we all should discuss regarding who Seth's father is and why he might not be okay with him living with me."

"Do his parents not know yet?" I asked, not convinced. How could they not know?

"Peggy didn't tell them names. His parents don't know where I live."

"I don't get it…"

Our conversation was forced to an end as we reached the entrance to the stables, and Seth was hard at work, headphones pressed into his ears as he shoveled away. He saw us, though, as we walked in, and he let one of the ear buds drop, dangling from the little white string.

"Hey, y'all," he greeted, stopping his shoveling and using the back of his hand to wipe the collected sweat from his forehead.

"Hey, you're working kind of late," Edward talked first, leaning against one of the wooden stable doors.

"Yeah." He shrugged. "Wanted to catch up since I haven't worked much these past few days."

I couldn't help but smile. I was so proud of him, of the man he was becoming.

"What are y'all up to?" Seth asked as he picked his shovel back up, getting back to work.

Edward looked at me before he turned back to Seth. "Actually, there was something that I think we should talk about."

"Um," Seth responded, "okay. Am I in trouble or something?"

"No?" I answered. "Should you be in trouble?" I looked at him pointedly then, raising an eyebrow and waiting for his confession.

He laughed and shook his head. "Not yet, anyway."

"Let's keep it that way," Edward added.

"Yeah, yeah, _so, _what is it that you want to talk to me about?"

"Well," Edward started, but a door slamming shut stopped his words, and our eyes shot to one another's.

My first immediate thought was _no fucking way._ Seth's mother. She came. She was here, and she wanted her son. "Seth," I hissed, "get in the stable." My voice was harsh, but if it was Vanessa who was walking in here, I didn't want her to see Seth and try and work her way towards him. I knew she wouldn't even have a chance to touch him with both Edward and I here, but if she had brought his father along, hiding the boy was the best option.

He did exactly what I said, and I was thankful that he didn't try to argue with me. Edward shot off from the wall, coming to stand next to me as we both faced the entrance of the barn. This is where she had come last time, and I wouldn't doubt that this is where she would try again.

We waited; my breathing was quick and heavy, preparing myself for the fight that I secretly craved. I would not pass up another chance to give a piece of my mind to the sad excuse of a woman who gave up a wonderful child. My palms started to sweat; my heart beat increased.

I was ready.

But _where was she?_

After the time that both Edward and I knew it would have taken to walk to the barn had come and gone, we looked at each other with confused glances.

"Maybe it wasn't…?" he started, but then I heard the back door of Charlie's back porch slam shut, and the ice in my veins was back. _She was in there with Charlie! _

Not wanting to lose my momentum and the fight that was building within me, I headed out, my footsteps heavy as I stormed out of the barn to meet whatever threat was outside.

However, it was no woman who was walking down the porch steps. It was not Seth's father who was trying to take his only boy back home. It wasn't anyone who Seth needed to worry about at all.

Knowing that Seth was safe didn't stop my heart from dropping. The relief of his well-being didn't prevent the feeling of the wind being knocked out of me. No, that didn't keep the chills from rising on my skin.

I wanted to be sick; I almost was, actually. So many emotions flooded me. Anger, hurt, fear, worry, pain, horror, confusion…all swirling around, creating the dark fire that ignited when he came into my sight.

I was stopped dead in my tracks, only a few steps outside of the stables, and Edward ran right into me without realizing it.

"Bella, what's…" he started, looking at me with a worried expression before his eyes darted to the figure now standing only twenty feet away. "Wait…what?" I knew he was confused. He had to be. He had every right to be.

Edward had no idea. Part of me wanted to keep it that way. I didn't want him to know because I didn't want him to leave me for it. I had no idea how he was going to react, and that was where my earlier fear had come from when I first laid eyes on the man who I spent fourteen years being married to.

I held my breath as Edward looked from me to the tall man before us.

"Bella," he spoke, his now northern accent shocking Edward. "Why isn't this a surprise?" He laughed humorlessly as he looked between Edward and me. "I should have fucking known."

"Why does it matter?" I spat back, knowing that he had _no room_ to be upset after Alice.

"Crawling back to my best friend? Really, Bella?"

I took the few extra steps towards Riley and smacked him right across the face. "DON'T YOU 'BEST FRIEND' _ME_! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT!"

"I just thought you might get a little bit more creative," he spoke with an ice cold edge, rubbing his reddening cheek. "But it was always the same."

"Why are you here?" My voice was starting to shake. I hated this man. I wanted nothing to do with him.

"Andrew called me from work. Said he couldn't get in touch with you. I've been calling you for days with no answer! For all I knew, you were dead on the side of the road somewhere!"

"So you drove nine hours to make sure I was still breathing?" I asked incredulously.

"Bella…" His eyes softened, and the look sickened me further.

"Don't," I warned, taking another step back. "I don't want you here. You are not welcome here!"

"Damn-it, Bella, just talk to me! I've spent all day in a car to come see you!"

"You wasted your time."

"Is everything okay?" Seth's voice filtered out from behind me, and I turned to see him looking at me in panic.

"Yeah," I scrambled. "Why don't you go into the house, get some cold air." He didn't need to see this.

"Uh, sure," he agreed, walking past us.

Neither of us said anything until we heard the door slam again, and when Riley took another step towards me, I took another one back.

It wasn't just that I hated this man. It wasn't just that I didn't want him in my life, it was that I didn't need him. Who I was didn't depend on him. He no longer had control over me. I wanted only one person. And he was standing behind me, not in front of me. But that needed to change.

I turned around, not worried about how many hours Riley spent to come and see me. I didn't care for his reasons or explanations anymore. The one person I needed, who deserved an explanation from me, was staring at the two of us with an unreadable look on his face.

It was blank.

Nothing.

No hint of anything.

He just stood there, looking at Riley.

When he saw from the corner of his eye that I turned around, his head slowly moved to mine, and it felt like he was just now remembering that I was there. But his expression didn't change. He was motionless, barely blinking.

Our gazes were locked, and I had no idea what he was seeing in my eyes, but I prayed that it was reassurance and remorse. I never wanted to spring this on him like this. I should have told him from the beginning…

"BELLA! BELLA!" A very panicked Seth came sprinting out of the house, tears running down his face. "CHARLIE!"

That was all that I needed to hear before both Edward and I took off sprinting.

_Charlie,_ I repeated over and over in my head. _Uncle Charlie._

Edward beat me to the door, throwing it open as I raced in behind him. _Faster, _I yelled at him internally. _Out of my way!_

I pushed my way through the hall, passed the kitchen, every thought, every feeling that was racing through me being released in one piercing scream.

"Call 911!" I demanded, pointing to Seth who had followed us in the house.

"Charlie, Charlie?" I said again, dropping to my knees to where he was lying on the living room floor, clutching his left arm.

The look in my uncle's eyes was full of fear as a lone tear slipped from the corner.

"It's okay. It will be okay," I tried to sooth, pushing the hair back from his head.

Would it, though? _Would it be okay?_ My hands were shaking uncontrollably, my whole body seeming to follow their lead.

Edward was on the other side of Charlie's body, and he looked up at me, and when our eyes met, mine filled with tears. This was too much. So much, too much. Not yet. Please, not yet.

"Hey," he said, reaching over my uncle's body and cupping my cheek. "Stop."

But I felt the tremor of his hands; I saw the panic in his eyes.

Not yet, I prayed.

Too soon.

_I can't lose him._

_Please._

…

**END NOTES—**

**Okay, then. Deep breath. **

**I actually have something I want to say…PLEASE DO NOT POST WHO THE HUSBAND IS ON TWITTER, FACEBOOK, OR BLOGS! You guys have read through this whole fic not knowing, and I would like to think the mystery of it has added even a little bit to this story. I wouldn't want to ruin it for anyone else coming in. So PLEASE, do not spill the beans. **

**Feel free to review and gasp about it (or say that you knew it all along) but please don't put it out there. Go ahead and make up a name if you want so you can talk to me about it on Twitter. Hell, for shits and giggles, let's just call him MARK. So yes, if you want to talk about it, please refer to the husband as MARK. **

**Okay…now that I've said my peace… what are your thoughts? **


	25. Chapter 25

**AN—I can't thank you enough for your continued support of this story! I have put a poll on my ffnet profile page to vote for which EPOV outtake you would like! **

**Thank you for also respecting my request to keep the ex hidden. Even though I did get a lot of funny reviews of people asking about Mark. **

**Sorry this chapter is a few days late. I'm actually at home with my family for the next two weeks, and my 8-month-old niece is more distracting than a half-naked Rob. Okay, maybe not more distracting but pretty close. So I'm going to try to update as often as I can, but don't hate me if we don't keep the rigorous schedule I've had for the past two months. **

**I have the best set of ladies who give me such valuable advice and help to make this fic better. Ginginlee, my lovely beta, and my amazing prereaders: lizzylillyrose, sammielynnsmom, & morethanmyself. **

**This chapter takes off right from the end of the last 1987 one…**

…

**Chapter 25**  
**1987**

I willed my hands to stop shaking as I turned the key, unlocking the front door and walking inside. All the lights were off except for the single lamp in the living room, and I tried to contain my scream when I saw a body sitting on the edge of the couch.

"Bella," Uncle Charlie stated as he turned around, "are you okay, honey?" I was sure his question was in relation to my vocal outburst when I initially saw him, but when he took in my appearance, he shot off the couch and walked swiftly towards me. "What is it? What happened?"

I couldn't tell him; I couldn't possibly tell him, but I couldn't pretend that I was okay, either. So, still standing by the door, my shoulders slumped downwards, my head fell, and I brought my hands up to cover my face as I started to cry _again._

Wrapping one arm around me, he led me to the couch and sat me down, sitting closely beside me as I tucked my head into his chest, his arms acting like a protective shield around me as he let me break down.

"Oh, baby," he tried to sooth. "Please tell me what happened."

I just shook my head, not being able to, not at all wanting to. Even if I were going to explain to Charlie what had happened tonight, I wouldn't have been able to find the words to say. I didn't even know what I was feeling. I couldn't process it all. If my mom were here, she would know what to do. I mentally counted the days until she was back…roughly four more weeks. I missed her even more in that moment than I had all summer.

"Did Edward hurt you? Did he break up with you or something?" I could tell by his tone of voice that he was just as confused as he was worried.

I shook my head again and shifted so I could wrap my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. He was the closest thing I had to a parent right then, and I just needed his support. I wanted to still feel like I had a part of my childhood left, and being here with my uncle provided that.

He hugged me back with just as much force, and when my cries lessened, he pulled back and wiped my tear-stained face. "If you need to talk about it, honey, I'm right here."

I nodded and looked down at my lap. I wanted a shower so badly. He kissed me on my forehead, and I headed upstairs and did just that. I didn't look at the dress as it fell to the floor; I didn't look at the dried blood left on the inside of my thighs. I didn't look in the mirror at myself.

I made the water as hot as I could stand, hoping to ease the pain both physically and mentally. I wish I knew why I was feeling like this. I wanted to know why I felt more alone now than I have ever had before. I just felt guilty, empty, like I did something so wrong, and there was no way to take it back. I didn't have any answers to give Edward. I knew he would want to know. I would want to know if I were him.

Hoping to ease some of my guilt, I reminded myself that Edward loved me. He loved me, and I loved him. It wasn't a huge crime we committed. We didn't do anything wrong. _But why did it feel like we had?_

I crawled into my bed that night, wishing that I just had _somebody_ to talk to, someone that would tell me that it would be okay. I wanted someone to tell me that I wasn't wrong for feeling so emotional, that other girls went through this, too. I wanted someone to remind me that what I was feeling would pass, that I would be okay.

But I didn't have anyone.

And that only made it worse.

**O.o**

Part of me…well, most of me…wanted to avoid Edward at all costs. The other small baby part wanted to see him, talk to him, ask him what he was feeling, tell him how sorry I was for my reaction to something that I had led him to do. I wondered if he was mad at me; he would have every right to be.

Charlie was gone when I woke up the next morning, having left a note for me by the coffee machine that said he had to go to Raleigh and would be back by dinner time. That meant a day in the house alone…with no one to talk to…_great._

It was around noon that I knew I wouldn't be completely alone, after all. I was putting some cleaning supplies back under the sink—my morning activity to keep my mind busy—when I saw his truck pull up. I watched from my protective wall, glad that I could stay unseen. I couldn't help my heart from skipping a beat. My heart still wanted Edward; it was my head that had me all over the place.

It hurt, though, when he didn't get out of his car right away. I couldn't see inside the cab, but he idled there for a good few minutes before slowly opening his door and climbing out. He was dressed for work—ripped jeans and a dirty old t-shirt—and I scolded myself for letting that fact slip my mind. He paused by the driver's side door, gripping the top of his hair in his hand as he spared a glance at the house. He was looking right at me and didn't even know it.

My breath caught in my chest when it looked like his eyes met mine, but the glare on the window surely would have kept him from seeing me. I took another step back just in case. I wanted to see his reaction, what he would do.

He looked almost pained, torn, as he looked at the house and then down at his feet, releasing the grip on his hair as he kicked at the dirt. I saw as a deep breath left his lungs, and he, with heavy feet, walked to the direction of the stables.

I stood there, frozen, as he vanished from my sight. I blinked the tears back and tried to regain my breathing. I knew he was a mess, too, but after seeing him first hand, how sad he looked, it made me feel that much guiltier. _I had done this._

I knew I had a decision to make. I could either go upstairs, pretend that I didn't even see his truck pull into the drive, keep on going with my really bad plan of avoidance, or I could own up to the choices that I had made. I could try to be the adult that I thought I was before any of this happened. I was the one who wanted to take our relationship further. I was the one who pushed him and didn't really consider the consequences of both of our actions.

My heart sunk a little when I knew I had to stand up and take responsibility for this. He deserved for me to come to him. He deserved to be given the reassurance that I was sure he wanted. I loved him. I needed to find the courage to show him how much.

I felt that there were oceans separating us as I opened the back door, taking my first step into the hot sun. I could feel the butterflies in my stomach, my body reacting as if this was a stranger, not the boy who I had come to know so well. I willed my feet to take me to him, concentrating on each step so I didn't lose my nerve and turn back, running.

With a final deep breath, I turned the corner of the stables, coming into view.

Edward didn't look happy.

His back was towards me, and he was forceful with his movements, throwing the things around in haste when trying to perform whatever task he was after. I could faintly hear the murderous sounding mumble that was coming from him, low growls of frustration accompanying the hateful babble.

So maybe "not looking happy" was an understatement. He was angry. Definitely angry.

As if sensing someone else was in the barn with him, his head snapped around, hard blue eyes meeting mine. His body turned almost in slow motion the rest of the way so he was facing me, his arms dropping to the side and tossing the shovel that was in his hand to the wooden floor, making a harsh sound as it landed.

I knew how many emotions and feelings were racing in my head, so I had to understand that it was probably the same way for him. I just really didn't want my nerve to fail me.

I took a step forward, but he matched it with a step back. "Stop," he spat.

"Edward…" I tried, looking just as devastated as I was feeling.

I watched as a hint of softness covered his features, but he didn't come towards me; he didn't say anything.

"Please, just let me…"

"Bella, I don't…what happened…"

This had to be by far the most awkward, strained conversation I had ever been a part of. Seeing him made my chest hurt. I had a million things I wanted to say, but my words were swept from my throat, robbed away with one look from him.

"I was just…" I tried to start again, only to once again fail at my attempt to solve this situation.

"Bella, I just don't get it. What the hell happened? I thought you wanted that! And then…and then _that!_" he was on the verge of yelling. I knew I deserved it. He took a step closer, closing the distance between us by a few more inches. "Do you have any idea what that was like for me? To see you like that?"

"I know," I said as tears filled my eyes.

"No, you don't know," he answered back, the ice in his tone morphed into one of shaky conviction. "It was like I hurt you…like I forced myself on you." I heard how his voice shook, how he tried to compose himself.

"You didn't," I reassured, shaking my head.

"No, I DIDN'T! You asked me to! YOU wanted it!"

"Did you want it?" my quiet voice trembled.

It was as if he looked at me for an immeasurable amount of time, his eyes trying to say something that his lips couldn't. His right hand rubbed his cheek and the outline of his jaw as he debated his response. His silence was like knives, slicing me until nothing was left, until I was just a whisper.

He took another step forward, his eyes glancing down at his feet before he lifted them again to my face. "I've only ever wanted you, Bella. I want whatever you want to give me. You have to understand that seeing you last night, not being able to do anything, to say anything to make you feel better, was the most helpless I have ever felt.

"I wasn't pretending or lying when I told you that I was in love with you. I don't care that it's only been a couple months. I don't care that we're just some _dumb kids_ who 'don't know what love is'. It's bullshit!"

He was all over the place, looking at me with sad eyes one moment and throwing his arms up in the air the next. I would have laughed if the heaviness wasn't so overbearing. But I didn't move, instead I waited for his rant to be over, for his words to be said.

"I don't know what to do to make this better," he admitted. "We can't take it back."

"I know that."

"I didn't sleep at all last night."

My eyes squeezed shut. "I'm sorry."

With a defeated sigh, he said, "I don't want you to be sorry, Bella. I want you to tell me what to do!"

Shaking my head, I looked up at him. "I don't know what to do."

He took another step forward. "What do you want from me?" he whispered.

"I was scared," I stated quietly, not answering his question.

"Why?" His exasperation was obvious.

"It was like everything hit me at once!" I yelled, my voice finally coming to the surface. "I just…I just want to move past this, okay? I want this to be over."

"If you're upset by this, Bella, it's not just going to go away," he tried to reason, and I knew he was right, even though my plan of avoidance sounded like a much better idea.

"Look, last night, I was so confused, and I didn't know how to deal with everything…I still don't know how to deal with anything, but I feel that we would just be talking in circles if we kept at it! I'm sorry I reacted the way I did; I'm sorry I put you through that. It wasn't fair, _I get it!_"

"I'm not mad at you…" He looked at me strangely, his eyebrows knitted together. "Is that what you think?"

I looked at him as if were obvious, not being able to keep the snark out of my tone. "Did you miss the conversation we just had? You are very clearly angry, Edward."

"Well, yeah, I'm angry, but at the _fucked up_ situation we put ourselves in. I'm not mad because you freaked out! I was scared that I hurt you, that I ruined whatever this is." He motioned back and forth between us.

I narrowed my eyes in his direction. "You have every right to be mad."

He gave me the same challenging look, being just as stubborn as me. "And you aren't in the wrong for being upset."

"You're giving me a headache." I sighed, reaching for my head and holding it in my hands.

He scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "Welcome to the club."

I rolled my eyes as a smirk came to my face. "You're impossible."

He took another step towards me with a look of contemplation. "I don't want to lose you over this. That's what I'm angry about, that last night was the end for us."

There was only a few feet separating us now, and I took another step, my head shaking back and forth. "I saw you from the kitchen," I admitted. "I saw when you looked at the house and then walked away. I was afraid that you didn't want this anymore, that you didn't want to deal with me."

"I hate to break it to you, baby, but that's not the brightest conclusion you've ever had."

I was close enough to him that I backhanded his chest, smiling when he came to wrap his arms around me, holding me with a determined strength.

"I'm serious, though, you scared the shit out of me."

I held him tighter. "I didn't mean to."

"I know." His hand stroked the back of my hair, and he leaned down to kiss the top of my forehead. "But I don't think we should do that again."

I shut my eyes as relief flooded my system. "Me neither."

**O.o**

When the initial shock and guilt subsided, I couldn't actually believe that I'd had sex with Edward. The night following our talk in the barn felt more relaxed, calm, as he and I sat in the living room with Charlie as we watched a baseball game on TV. He and I sat on opposite sides of the couch, but I was just glad that it felt like I could still breathe around him.

From my vantage point of the television, my eyes could wander to the left just enough to see Edward, and when he would catch me looking at him, he would smirk and wink at me in return.

Uncle Charlie, on the other hand, wasn't so playful. I would have been eternally mortified if he knew what had happened the night before, but he had to of known _something_ happened. I would catch him glaring at Edward in between innings, and he didn't speak a word to him when he got back from Raleigh right before dinner.

However, there was no way I was going to bring up the big elephant in the room. I would like to avoid the funeral that surely would have been in order if confirmation was ever made. So instead, we ignored it. We all ignored it, pretending that it never happened.

That coping mechanism seemed to bleed into Edward's and my relationship, though, as well. It was like if we didn't talk about it, it didn't happen. But it did happen, and I secretly wondered when it was going to catch up with us.

The doorbell rang a few mornings later, and I raced down the stairs, tripping on the last step and falling smack into Uncle Charlie as he stood to answer the door.

"Whoa, there, child. Where's the fire?" he teased, helping me back to my feet.

"I got the door," I assured, stepping around him and waiting until he sat back down in the living room before I opened it.

"Did you fall down the steps?" A smirking Edward stood on the other side of the screen, giving me a knowing look.

"How did you…"

"I heard it." He smiled and waited for me to join him on the porch.

Rolling my eyes, I mumbled, "Great," earning a good chuckle from him.

"So you're all packed and ready to go?" I asked, looking down at my feet.

"Yeah," he breathed out. "Parents are in the car waiting." He shuffled back and forth, hands deep in his pockets.

"Are you going to miss me?" I looked up him with a side smile.

Shrugging his shoulders, he looked around. "You know…I guess."

I hit his arm in protest, and he used my movement to pull me to him, bringing me to his chest.

"Of course I'll miss you, baby," he whispered, kissing the top of my head. "But I'll be back in a couple days. It's just Freshmen Orientation."

"And Rachel's going with you?" I asked, my head still against his chest.

"She'll be there, too, yeah. I'm surprised she actually decided on UNC. Her parents are livid!"

"Isn't UNC supposed to be a great school, though?" I questioned when our hug broke apart.

"Yeah, it is, but they kind of had their hearts set on Wake Forest. Oh well, it doesn't matter. I don't really want to talk about Rachel." He gave me a smile, which I had claimed as my own, successfully diverting my attention back to him alone.

"Don't have too much fun without me," I teased, even though the insecure girlfriend part of me was serious.

"Wouldn't dream of it," he retorted, about to say something else when we heard the horn beeping from his parents' car. He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "I better go."

"Yeah," I said with a fake smile, "have fun!"

He leaned in and placed a single chaste kiss on my lips – the only thing that we had done in the four days since that night.

"I love you, Bella," he spoke as he started to head down the steps.

"I love you," I said back, placing my hand over my heart as I watched him walk away.

I waited until his car pulled out of Charlie's drive before going back into the house.

"So what are you going to do for three whole days all by your lonesome?" Uncle Charlie mocked as I sat down on the couch.

I spared him a look that clearly let him know I wasn't amused.

He just laughed and turned off the TV. "Come on, baby." He sighed as he reached his hand out for mine.

"What?" I asked as I stood.

"We have things to do today!" he answered cheerfully as he tucked me under his arm.

I groaned, really not wanting to work out by the horses, but my uncle just ruffled my hair and patted my cheek.

"Go get dressed, child."

"But I am dressed," I said, looking down at my shorts and t-shirt.

"I don't think so. Go put on some nice clothes. We're going out." His smile was brighter than I had ever seen before, and when I asked him where we were going, he just answered that it was about time he got to take his little girl out on a date around town.

The next few days passed by a lot faster when Charlie was around. He and I went all over the place. We even took a day trip to the mountains, and I was stunned with how beautiful it was in those small country towns. It was as if he knew the summer was winding down, and he was trying to fit in as much time with me as he could. But I didn't complain.

A lot of days I wished that Charlie was my father. He would have been the best dad, and I was crushed that I had to leave him in a couple weeks. Coming down to spend the past few months with him was the best decision I had made in a long time! I got to know a whole new side of him that I didn't know before, and I just adored how close we had become.

I never wanted to say goodbye.

"Are you going to eat that?" He motioned to the last dinner roll that sat in the basket between us.

I looked up from my plate at him with squinted eyes. "Maybe," I answered, putting my fork down.

He cracked his knuckles as he stared me down, arching an eyebrow. "But what if I wanted it?" he challenged.

"But what if _I_ wanted it?" I asked back, not breaking eye contact.

"I'll fight ya for it."

"Psh!" I scoffed. "You're an old man; I wouldn't want to hurt ya."

"Oh yeah?" His eyes narrowed further. "Rock-paper-scissors!"

"You're on!"

We were both about to "shoot" when a knocking at the door brought us from our game. I looked at Uncle Charlie and shrugged, not having any idea who it could be. Edward wouldn't be coming home until the following day, and Charlie wasn't expecting anyone.

"I'll get it," I finally offered when Charlie didn't make any move to get up and another knock sounded.

"That a girl." He chuckled, and I saw him swipe the last roll.

"Cheater!" I yelled out right as I turned the knob and opened the door.

"Who's a cheater?" I turned my head and saw Riley standing on the porch.

"Oh, hey," I said, confused. "Um, nothing."

He gave me a nervous smile as he held up a drill in his hands. "I'm, um, just coming to return this to Mr. Swan."

"Oh," I responded. "Come on in."

Charlie had stood up and walked over to us by the time Riley walked through the door, and he passed me half of the dinner roll, winking at me as I took a bite.

"Here you go, Mr. Swan," Riley stated, looking down at his hands as he passed my uncle the drill.

"Ah, yes. I went and gone forgotten about this old thing. Thanks for returning it to me!" Charlie said with a smile, trying to make it less awkward. I wasn't sure why it was so strange to have Riley here, but we all just stood around, not having anything to say.

"So, uh," Riley stuttered, and Charlie shot me a knowing glance.

"So, Bella and I were just about to clean up the dishes and turn on the game. You want to stay over a bit?"

For a reason I wasn't sure of, blush appeared on Riley's cheeks, and he looked at me strangely before he shook his head. "No, that's okay. I need to get home, just wanted to pass that off." He pointed to the drill before stumbling over his feet on his way out the door. "See y'all later," he called out as he left.

Charlie just shrugged when I turned my head towards him. "Beats me," he answered my unasked question.

**O.o**

The next afternoon, I did nothing but fidget on the front porch, ignoring Uncle Charlie's snide comments and general mockery of how pathetic I was. Edward said before he left that he should be home around two, and it was going on three, and I still hadn't seen him.

I would be lying if I said I didn't miss him. I missed him a lot, probably too much. I knew this was only just a taste of how it was going to be when the summer ended, but that was just one more thing that I refused to think about. I was going to enjoy these last three weeks and make as many memories as I could.

You only fell in love for the first time once.

I was looking down at my watch _yet again_ as I heard the truck pull into the drive, and I was on my feet in a second, sprinting to towards the blue vehicle. He had just enough time to get out and close the door before I collided with him, wrapping my arms and legs around him as I squeezed him with as much strength as I could muster.

"Oh hey, you." He laughed as he wobbled from my attack.

"Where have you been? I've waited all day!" I said into his neck as he held onto me.

He put me down without a word and pressed my back into the side of his truck, leaning in and kissing me deeply right off the bat. To be honest, I was a bit taken aback from his kiss, but I wasn't going to question it. I kissed him back, showing him that I missed him, telling him without words.

But his kiss seemed off…like he was desperate for something, frantic and searching. It scared me a little.

"Are you okay?" I asked when he pulled back, and when our eyes met, it was like he wasn't even there.

"I'm fine," he answered, giving me a half smile that I wasn't used to.

"Okay," I took his words for face value, anyway. "So you had a good time?"

A real smile lit his face, and he nodded his head. "It was fantastic!"

I took a deep breath and tried to pretend that it didn't hurt that he didn't even seem to miss me while he was gone. "That's great!" I forced out.

"So, what about you? What have you been up to?"

I waved my hand in the air non-committedly. "Oh, you know…same old, same old."

He scoffed out a laugh and nodded. "Sounds about right for this little old town."

"You really are excited to get out, huh?" I asked as I played with my hands.

"Oh, Bella, you have no idea. UNC isn't that big, but there are so many people! It was amazing! I just cannot wait to start living my life! Getting out of this place and making it big!" He exaggerated his words by swinging his arms, the light evident in his eyes. "There is a whole other world outside of here!"

I smiled sadly. "You'll do great things."

He gave me a wink before he leaned back in to kiss me, this time a little bit of my Edward present in the kiss. "I hope so, baby. I really freaking hope so."

**O.o**

Edward said that he had things to do later that afternoon but had promised to come back by tonight. Was it weird of me to say that it felt like he was slipping away already? As if these past few days took part of him away, or maybe it was just my insecurities clouding my judgment.

Uncle Charlie told me not to worry about it, that he would come around. Yet, his words didn't keep the deflated feeling out of my chest.

Once nighttime fell, I headed outside, bringing a blanket as I lay out in the field to just look up at the sky. I felt a million miles away from home.

I heard the back door close a little while later, and I propped up on my elbows to see Edward looking for me and smiled at him when his eyes fell on mine.

"Hey, beautiful," he said as he lowered himself to the blanket next to me, resting on his side and propping his head up with his arm.

"Hi," I said back as I lay back down on the fleece.

"Sorry I had to leave earlier," he started, playing with my hair that rested on my shoulder.

"Oh, it's alright. I understand."

His eyes met mine, then, and he gave me a small smile. "Can I kiss you?" he asked, his voice soft as he studied my lips.

But instead of waiting for him to come to me, I propped myself up and kissed him instead. Holding my cheek with one of his hands, he kissed me deeper.

"I really did miss you," he whispered when he pulled away.

I sighed and laid my head down on his chest when rested on his back. "I missed you, too," I said, equally as quiet as I played with the bottom hem of his t-shirt.

"It scared me how much," he said with his lips pressed into my forehead. "I shouldn't miss you this much." It was like he was trying to convince himself of something, like we both knew what was coming, and that was only a fraction of what it was going to be like.

"We don't have to say goodbye yet," I reassured as I held him tighter, trying to memorize what it felt like to lay with him, knowing that I wouldn't have it forever.

He took a deep breath and sighed, stroking the top of my arm that lay across him. "I know."

"So did you make a lot of new friends?" I asked, trying to shift the subject back a bit.

I felt him shrug beneath me. "Yeah, I did."

"That's what college is for, I guess."

"I guess."

Silence wrapped between us, then, the only sounds coming from the crickets and the wind.

"I don't want to leave you," he finally voiced after what seemed like forever.

I waited a second before I responded, trying to get my words right. "I wish I could stop life for you, but we can't. It keeps moving without our consent." It hurt to speak the truth, but even though I wanted to change it, keep our goodbye from happening, it was inevitable. "But we'll figure it out, okay? We'll figure something out," I added on more quietly.

"Are you going to forget about me?" he questioned, his voice not at all joking.

"That would be impossible, Edward." I propped myself up on his chest so I could look at him. "Even in twenty years, I'll still remember this moment."

He smiled genuinely at me, then. "I can't imagine my life without you in it twenty years from now."

I chuckled and lay back down in the crook of his arms. "Who knows," I voiced out to the wind. "Maybe you won't have to."

"Yeah," he agreed. "Maybe."

…

**End Notes—**

**If only in our real lives could we know what would happen in the future. Only 2 more 1987 chapters left after this one, folks! **

**Won't you review? **

**You can also play with me on Twitter: kas90_**


	26. Chapter 26

**AN- Thank you so much for the continued support of this story! I can't believe it's almost over! I also appreciate keeping Mark on the down low. **

**Ginginlee, Lizzylillyrose, Morethanmyself, & Sammielynnsmom – I really do love you guys so much. Thank you for all of your help! **

**SW is up for a Tomato Soup Award. Nominations are still open, and I believe voting starts either at the end of the month or the beginning of next. **

**Summer's coming to an end, folks…**

…

**Chapter 26**

**2010**

There were hundreds of sounds being made around me, but I didn't hear any of them. Object after object, person after person, passed in front of my eyes, but it all went unseen. Even blinking felt like a thing of the past.

I just stared at the same white speck on the tiled floor for hours, not moving, not speaking, barely even breathing. My head felt like it weighed a ton as it rested on my curled fist, my elbow using the armrest for support.

The clock kept ticking, the sun went down, the world kept moving; I did not.

Not until I knew. I would stay here until I knew. He never left me, and I wasn't about to do the same to him.

Edward was on my left, Seth on my right, both as quiet as I was as we waited. I could see Riley from the corner of my eye as he sat in the row across from us, but my eyes refused to leave the white speck on the floor.

It was if it had happened in slow motion, a haze covering my eyes as the ambulance came to the house, putting Uncle Charlie on a gurney and into the back, myself climbing in behind him. It was a maze through the streets, the loud siren accompanying the ringing in my ears, the flurry of the paramedics working on Charlie not at all helping my panic.

When we had gotten to the hospital, I could only stand there, watching as they pulled the closest thing I had to a father out of the back and pushed him through the doors. I wasn't allowed where they were going. I couldn't move past the white doors with the red stripe across it. I couldn't help them; I couldn't save him.

So I did the only thing I could do: I fell to my knees, praying for a miracle, begging God for His mercy, asking, pleading for more time, for another year, month, day, _hour,_ with my uncle. He'd already taken my father from me. He couldn't possibly take this one from me, too. Didn't He know how much I needed Charlie? Didn't He know that I couldn't say goodbye yet?

My head had been buried under my arms, my body in a curled ball on the floor when I had felt arms come around me, picking me up. When I had felt the soft shirt against my skin, the rough facial hair on his jaw, I started to cry harder. I had gripped his neck when he put me down on my feet, my harsh grip refusing to let go, and he mimicked my actions, pulling me towards him with a crushing force.

"Please don't leave," I had begged between deep breaths of air. "I need you here." My words had been broken between my cries, but it didn't matter…he knew.

"Shhh, Bella," he had hushed, stroking the back of my head that was still pressed into his chest. "I'm right here."

Edward and I had stayed against the wall in the hall of the hospital, merely holding onto each other, for a while before he had led me back into the waiting area. Seth had stood when he saw us walking up, taking me from Edward and pulling me into a hug himself. It was desperate, clingy, and I had matched it will all my strength.

But as soon as I had sunk into the chair, it was as if I had checked out as memory after memory, moment after moment, played like old film in my mind. My eyes had found the white speck on the floor, Edward's hand had found my own, and we both sat there, both just as scared, both about to lose someone equally as important, but both of us being entirely helpless to do anything about it.

All we could do was sit, wait, pray, and remember.

So that was what we did.

It had been at least two hours, and we had still yet to hear anything. Nurses and doctors came in and out of the area, but no one called for us, came to speak to us. It became a waiting game, one where we weren't sure we wanted to know the outcome.

"My God, how long does it take to tell us if the man is dead or not!"

My head snapped up to see Riley groaning in his chair, watching as he crossed one leg over the other and pulled at his clothes.

I was just about to say something when Edward beat me to it. "And why exactly are you even here?" he spat. "This doesn't concern you."

Riley's eyes matched Edward's hateful glare. "This concerns me a lot more than it does you, pal. Charlie is a part of my family."

Edward scoffed loudly. "You don't know the first thing about family." I felt his grip get deathly tight, hurting my own hand without realizing it. "You know nothing about loyalty or commitment."

"Don't get all high and mighty on me, Edward. No one wants to hear your whiny bullshit!"

"Excuse me?"

"We didn't want to hear it when you were eighteen, and we sure as hell don't want to hear it now."

"And what exactly are you talking about, Riley?"

"You think you have some claim on the Swans, first on Bella and now on Charlie, but you don't! You don't know the first thing about this family, about my _wife."_

"Ex-wife, asshole," I finally spoke up.

"You think you have a place in our lives," Edward continued, "but you don't."

"Well, I guess it's a good thing that I didn't come to see _you_ then, isn't it?" Riley countered, rising to his feet.

Edward was quick with his footing and let go of my hand as he rose to match Riley's domineering height. "It's kind of funny that who you came to see now concerns _me_."

"You let her go over twenty years ago. Your piss-marks are washed away, Masen. She isn't yours to claim."

The smile that rose on Edward's face was unfitting but matched his humorless words. "If we're going to talk about _claims,_ Riley, shouldn't we talk about how you cheated on Bella? Now, if anyone here let her go, it was you."

"What happened with my marriage is none of your damn business!"

"Oh, but it is."

"WILL YOU STOP?" Edward's and Riley's conversation, on top of everything that was happening with Uncle Charlie, was pushing me over the edge, but even I was shocked when I turned my head to see Seth standing, shouting at the two grown men that stood before him. "This is _Bella _you're talking about, as if she isn't sitting right here! She isn't an object to have _claim_ over! She's a person, damn-it!"

I was rendered speechless as Seth stormed out of the waiting room, and I didn't even spare the men a glance as I ran out after him.

"Seth!" I called, the last rays of sun falling behind the tree line as I made my way outside. "Seth!"

I turned my head to the left as saw him slouched against the wall, knees bent to his chest with his shoulders deflated.

"Seth," I repeated much more quietly, walking over to him and joining him against the bricks.

"Bella, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." He started crying, burying his head in his arms.

"Oh, honey," I tried to sooth, bringing him to me and letting him cry on my shoulder. "You have nothing to be sorry for."

"He has to be okay, he just has to," he spoke out between his sobs.

"He will, baby." I rocked him back and forth, holding the back of his head as he shook. For the past few hours, I had been nothing but selfish, only thinking about how Charlie being in the hospital was affecting me, but of course Seth, who was only a child, was just as hurt and confused as I was.

"And then...then they were talking about you..."

"I know, sweetie."

"And who was that guy, anyway?" He pulled back and looked at me with red eyes.

I couldn't help but feel ashamed, my reasoning, my life up until now mocking me. "That's my ex-husband," I answered in a hushed voice.

"Why is he here?" he questioned, something he had every right to do.

"It's...complicated. I don't really know."

"Do you...are you going to leave us...for him?" The fear on his face hurt worse than anything Riley had ever done to me in our years of marriage.

I didn't have words; I didn't have anything I could say that would express how I felt, so I just shook my head as my own eyes filled with tears and brought him back to me, holding him as tightly as I could.

People looked as us strangely as they walked in and out of the hospital, but we weren't about to move. I didn't want to go back in there, and Seth didn't make a move to get up, either. I was perfectly content being outside, feeling a lot less suffocated than I did when I was sitting in the waiting room that was filled with sorrow, doubt, guilt, remorse, and insecurity that the one man that had tied us all together was possibly slipping away from us.

"Bella?" I looked up at the sound of my name, once against speechless as I saw who was walking up to us.

"Rachel?" I asked, blinking rapidly to see if my eyes were fooling me. I pushed off the wall and stood, Seth standing after I did.

"What happened? Is Charlie okay?"

"Um...I," I stuttered. "How did you...?"

"Oh." She looked embarrassed. "Well, Emmett has Lana and Pat, and Edward called him a little bit ago and told him what happened."

"Oh."

"Is he okay?" I was surprised that she actually looked concerned. I shook my head out of it; Rachel wasn't the Devil just because she married Edward. She wasn't incapable of human feelings just because she didn't like me or said those things about me to their daughter.

"I, um, I don't know yet. We haven't heard anything."

"Okay," she said softly, seeming like she was debating whether or not to give me a hug. She didn't. "Well, I'm just going to..." She motioned towards inside the building.

"Yeah," I said, crossing my hands over my chest, still trying to hold myself together. "We should be heading inside, too."

Seth gave me a sad smile and threw his arm around my shoulders as the three of us went back inside the building.

Edward stood as soon as he saw us walk in, eyes looking at me with worry before they transitioned to one of shock and a bit of panic when he saw Rachel walking beside me.

"Bella," he rushed out quickly, gripping the back of his neck.

I walked up to him, Seth releasing me to sit back in a chair. "He just needed a second," I said only loud enough for Edward's ears as my head motioned to the emotionless looking sixteen-year-old.

"Are you...?"

My cheeks reddened as I looked down at the floor. "We have so much going on right now, can we just...?"

He pulled me to him. "Why did you marry him?" he asked out in a breathless whisper. "Out of everybody?" I could hear the hurt behind his words, the anger trying to break through the surface. I knew that it was going to be a long night ahead of us, but we both knew that my old marriage wasn't the priority here.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you, but you have to understand..." I was halfway through my sentence when Rachel started laughing beside us.

"My God, you have got to be kidding me!" she exclaimed, and when I looked behind Edward, I saw her looking up from her chair at Riley strangely.

"Riley?" She laughed again. "Is that really you?"

The smile on her face pissed me off, and I wasn't exactly sure where my reaction was coming from.

He looked back at her with an arched brow and a menacing smirk. "Rachel Andrews?"

"Well, Rachel Masen, now, actually."

It was Riley's turn to laugh, and I felt Edward's grip around me tighten.

"You're married to Masen?"

"Was," she corrected.

"Yeah," he spat out, all humor in his voice disappearing as he looked in my direction before turning back and looking at her. "I know how that goes."

"Wait," she said, sitting forward and pointing at him and then at me. "You married..."

He threw his hands in the air, and they came down with a loud slap to his thighs. "Best fucking thirteen years on my life, let me tell ya."

Rachel sat back in her chair and chuckled heartily, crossing her arms over her chest. "That just made my god-damn day."

"Seriously?" Edward spoke out, glaring at his ex-wife. "Mind sharing with the group why this is so _damn_ funny, Rachel?"

She stood then, her shoulders hardening as she looked him square in the eye, the air around her shifting from her humor to her obvious anger. She waited a beat as her eyes narrowed in his direction. "I find it _hilarious_," she started with obvious sarcasm, "that you wasted years of _my_ life pretending I was good enough when you knew all along that I was just second best, 'acceptable', someone that you settled for, when it turns out that she did exactly the same thing! I don't think either of you realize the people that you've hurt along the way because you couldn't pull your head out of your ass long enough to see that you weren't happy! You pulled me down with you, Edward, by making me think that I was enough when you decided to marry me. You went through our entire marriage, had children with me, when in the end you would just end up back with her. Don't you see? Don't you get it? Life isn't all about you. But you've sure as hell made it that way. And to see that she did the same? Yeah, I find it pretty fucking funny."

Edward sighed heavily as he released me and gripped at his hair, pulling at it as he took another deep breath. "It wasn't like that, Rachel, and you know it!"

Her eyes searched his for something, and when I glanced down at Riley, I saw he was looking at me the same way Rachel was looking at Edward.

"You should have never married me," she said with simple conviction.

"You got pregnant, remember?"

A slap that could have been heard across miles sounded from the room as her hand made contact with his face, and all of us looked at the two of them with our mouths wide open.

"Okay, that's it." A security guard came up to us. "All of you out!"

I didn't even notice the audience we had generated from our little show, but when I looked around the hospital, all eyes were on us. Rachel was the first to storm out with tears running down her cheeks, but I just stood there, looking at the guard.

"But please, my uncle..."

Right when I said the words, a doctor in scrubs came through the doors behind the guard. "Charlie Swan?" he called out, and I rushed behind the guard and went right up to the man who was either going to crush me or present me with some kind of hope that this was going to be okay.

"Ma'am," I heard the guard call behind me, but I wasn't going to give him any attention.

"Yes, I'm Bella, Charlie's next-of-kin," I said to the doctor.

He looked at me before he looked behind me, and I turned to see Edward talking to the guard, telling him that he was leaving, that I didn't have a part in the confrontation that had just gone down.

"Okay, miss," he said when he saw that I was okay. "I'm going to need you to come with me."

**O.o**

The room was too bright and the smell wasn't right. The flowers that sat by the window behind me were slowly dying, petals falling one by one. I slipped in and out of awareness, my memories serving as my escape as I sat here for hours. All I could do was sit here. I couldn't help the doctors; I couldn't save him.

All I could do was wait.

My hand stayed glued to his as I sat in the chair, the clock ticking, reminding me of the seconds he was still breathing. I watched as his chest rose and fell; I looked for movement behind his closed eyelids; I tried to feel for his touch in case his hand moved in mine.

The doctor said I needed to wait, to be patient. He said that after the complicated surgery that he had just gone through, it would be a while before he would wake up.

The clock kept ticking, and I kept waiting.

It was going on seven a.m. the next morning, having had fallen asleep on the chair in Charlie's room the night before, when I walked up to the nurses' station and asked to use their phone. Edward's cell number rang repeatedly before I heard his familiar voice on the voice-mail machine. With a heavy sigh, I hung up and tried Charlie's house phone, hoping that someone was there because I sure as hell wasn't going to try and give Riley a call.

"Hello?" a tired voice answered, and I was just happy to hear it.

"Hi, Seth," I started. "What are you guys doing at Charlie's?"

He yawned before he answered me, this time sounding a little bit more alert. "We thought you would come here last night."

"We?" I asked even though I should have known the answer.

"Well, yeah, Bella," he said as if it were obvious.

"Can I talk to him?" I questioned, not sure why I was nervous.

I took a few calming breaths as Seth put the phone down and went to go wake Edward who was apparently sleeping in my bed in the upstairs bedroom. It was a good few minutes before he picked up the line, and I avoided the eyes of the nurses so they wouldn't ask me to hang up.

"Hello?" he answered, sounding just as exhausted as Seth had.

"Hi," I said, searching for something else to say.

"How is he? Has he woken up yet?"

I swallowed heavily. "Not yet."

I could hear as he breathed out. "Okay," he said. "Well, we'll be back over there at nine when visiting hours start."

"Okay," I responded, not wanting to say anything that would keep him from coming. I needed him here.

"Do you need anything? Want me to bring you another pair of clothes?"

"Um, a toothbrush would be nice."

He yawned, the action, I wasn't sure why, bringing tears to my eyes. "Okay, baby."

"Hey, Edward?" I said after a few quiet moments went by.

"Hmm?"

"Are you angry with me?" My voice was just loud enough for him to make out my words.

Another deep sigh escaped his lips, and it made my heart that much heavier. "We'll talk about everything later, Bella. There are more important things to deal with right now."

"Okay."

After I hung up the phone, I went into the restroom and washed off my face, the cold water feeling good against my overheated skin. My eyes had dark circles around them, making me look even older than I was. I pulled my hair back as best as I could and tried to make myself look at least a little bit presentable. Deciding that I needed a bit of fresh air before I went back to Charlie's room, I took the stairs back down to the lobby and walked outside.

I smelt the cigarette smoke before I saw him, but when I turned my head, sure enough, he was there, sitting against the wall. Knowing that I didn't have the energy to fight him, I walked over there peacefully, taking a seat on the concrete.

"Wanna smoke?" he asked, holding out his pack for me.

I shook my head and played with my hands in my lap. "Trying to quit, with Charlie's bad breathing and all."

"Ah," he said, taking another inhale before squishing it beneath his shoe.

I leaned my head against the bricks behind us, closing my eyes as the first rays of sunshine danced around us.

"Did you sleep here last night?" I asked after a few minutes.

"Nah," he answered. "I got a hotel across the street. Wasn't sure when visiting hours started, so I got here an hour ago."

"Riley, what the heck are you doing?" I asked with obvious exasperation.

He turned his head and looked at me, his eyes meeting mine. "I've loved you for a long time, Bella."

I scoffed in frustration and shook my head. "That doesn't answer my question."

Licking his lips, he looked out in the distance. "Nothing I did was ever enough."

"We are not getting into this again," I quickly retorted. "Please just answer me."

"Alice left me."

"Ah, so you came running back home?" I laughed out humorlessly, even though I was silently aware of the irony.

"You're the one who ran away from home."

"I refuse to fight with you over this. You know what you did." My voice was tired as I answered, and I closed my eyes again, taking another deep breath to keep myself calm.

"Did you hear what Rachel said in there yesterday?" he whispered.

I didn't respond.

"She was right, you know. I was always your second place, only just barely good enough for you. You were with me because you thought you couldn't have him, but the only difference in our marriage and theirs was that I went into it knowing that."

I opened my eyes and looked at him. "What are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb with me, Bella."

"Do you think I never loved you?" I asked, not helping but to get angry.

"I know you loved me, but it wasn't the same."

I shook my head, but I honestly couldn't pretend he was wrong. He waited for my answer; he knew it was coming. "You reminded me of him," I finally admitted my deepest secret aloud, something that I had tried for years and years to keep from him.

"Yeah," he said after a minute, turning his head to look back out at the parking lot. "I guess it was my own fault."

My head continued to shake back and forth as I wiped the tear the dripped from my eye. "No divorce is one sided, Riley. But please, please know that I did love you. You did make me happy once."

He smiled and stretched out his legs, fidgeting in his spot. "I've should have known when it took you so long to marry me in the first place."

"If you knew…why did you even want to marry me?" I whispered as I hugged my legs closer to my chest.

"I've already told you, Bella," he spoke. "I've loved you for a long time."

I slowly released the breath from my lungs and looked back out to the lot as well. "What about Alice then? What about all the other women?"

He pulled out another cigarette from his shirt pocket, lighting it and inhaling the nicotine. "If you didn't think the foundation of our marriage was shaky enough, add to that all the shit we went through with the baby attempts, and you get a perfect recipe for a fan-fucking-tastic disaster."

"So that was enough for you to put me through an even deeper hell?" I shot back with anger.

"No, it wasn't, Bella. But damn-it, for a short time with Alice, I was so happy. I felt alive again!"

"Well, that's just great." I scratched the top of my head for a distraction. "You know what," I stood up from the ground, "we're just talking in circles here. Obviously things didn't work out between us; you don't want to be with me, I don't want to be with you. I just…I just want you to go."

He slowly stood up from the ground and wiped the pebbles and dirt off his pants. "You know, Bella, I've done a lot of shitty things in my life, made a lot of really bad decisions along the way, and I guess, I don't know, I guess I just wanted to come here and make it right, apologize."

My stomach sank as I saw how completely spent he looked.

"You really hurt me," I said softly.

His eyes met mine. "And you've spent decades hurting me."

I just looked at him. I had nothing to say to that.

"Let me know how he does, okay?" His head motioned to the doors of the hospital before he started walking away. But after he took a few steps, he turned back towards me. "Oh, and Bella? I really hope that you find happiness here…somewhere. Life is nothing if you're not happy in it, and it's about time you start living."

I was left speechless as he turned back and walked away, his shoulders slumped over as he got smaller and smaller out of sight.

It wasn't even eight o'clock when I went back inside, and it depressed me that much further that Edward wouldn't be here till at least another hour. After once again going back into the restroom and washing my blotchy face, I took the elevator up to Charlie's floor and stood outside of his door for a moment before entering.

The sunlight was filtering through the windows and there was a nurse at his bedside as I walked in.

"Oh, hi, darlin'," she greeted as she fidgeted with something at his bedside.

"How is he?" I asked, looking at my uncle up and down for any external signs of his current status.

"Heart is beating stronger than yesterday, dear," she said with clear enthusiasm. "The medicine is helping the deep infection in his lungs; his vitals look better." She gave me a wide smile before she saw how red my eyes were. "Oh, honey," she cooed, coming over and grabbing onto my shoulders. "Your uncle suffered a massive heart attack; I promise that considering this is only the next day, he is doing much better!"

"What if he doesn't wake up?" I croaked out as my voice became thick with impending tears.

She offered me a consolidating smile. "Give his body time to heal, sweetheart. He will open his eyes when he's ready."

I sniffed and nodded my head as she finished up what she was doing and left the room. I pulled up the same chair back to his bed and took the same hand I had yesterday.

"Good morning, old man," I said in a soft voice, almost embarrassed if anyone else could walk in and hear me. "You scared the ever living shit out of me. I hope you don't think this is some sick practical joke, because no one is laughing."

I just wanted to see him smile.

"Well, I'm also guessing that you saw Riley. I don't even know what Edward is even thinking about it all. He won't talk to me about it. It's just…everything was going so well, it only makes sense that it would all crumble." I laughed without humor.

"Why can't life just be simple, back to the days when my worst problem was the summer ending? Why can't we rewind our lives, pause them at the happy times? It's not fair that life isn't on our schedule!

"I just want to go back," I whispered the last part hardly coherently.

I stopped talking, waiting for him to answer, waiting for his eyes to open and show me that he was still here, that I wasn't alone.

"Please," I begged out one more time. "I need you."

There was no response, no recognition, so I did what I had been doing: I sat and waited.

Even though the nurse said he would wake up, I didn't want to take anything for granted, so while I could, I studied his face. I memorized the lines around his eyes, the color of his lips, the gray of his receding hair. I wanted it all for safe keeping, because even though we were lucky this time, life didn't stop for us. I knew there would be a day when my uncle's heart failed him, and I knew there would be a time when I would have to say goodbye.

I just prayed, as I sat there and waited, as I sat there and remembered every amazing moment with my dear Uncle Charlie, that I would never take a day of my life for granted again.

Riley was right. It was time that I start living.

I started now.

…

**End Notes –**

**See, angst wasn't too bad on that one. I'm trying here, people. **

**And look at that…I got y'all two updates this week after all. **

**As always, please review. Authors strive off of them. I read and cherish every one, I promise.**


	27. Chapter 27

**Anyone still reading this thing? You kind of amaze me. **

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**Thank you to the lovely ladies who work on this: ginginlee for betaing, & sammielynnsmom, morethanmyself (&lizzylillyrose who couldn't because she's on vacation) for prereading. **

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**I know this chapter took longer than normal. Real life hit kind of hard these last couple weeks. Thank you for your patience. This chapter is longer than average to make up for it **

…

**Chapter 27**

**1987**

If I had it my way, I would have stayed here forever. I wouldn't be packing my bags and leaving this place behind. It was only supposed to be a summer, a simple three months of spending time with my uncle. But it had become so much more than that. It was the summer that changed everything.

It was the summer that changed _me._

It was the summer, I was afraid, that would overshadow every summer to come. But it was also the summer that had to come to an end, and as I stood on my uncle's back porch, watching the sunset, I knew that these next few days were it.

I felt older somehow, more mature, as I watched the golden rays dance along the horizon. As my eyes traveled over the red and orange glow that was cast on the grassy field, I truly took in all that this summer had offered me. The late August heat was slowly dwindling with days past, and I knew that once I left this place, it would all be gone – the heat, the fire, the passion. The memories were all I had to take with me, and I had three days left to capture.

Three days left with him.

Three days left of our one perfect summer.

I watched as he walked out of the barn, wiping his dirty hands on his worn jeans, the red and black short-sleeve plaid shirt left unbuttoned, his equally as dirty white undershirt stuck to his sweaty skin. His tan was only illuminated by the setting sun, his brown hair showing a red tint. When he looked at me, his eyes only saw my own, a smile coming to his face as his pace changed from a heavy walk to a light run.

"You're home," he said when he reached me on the step, pulling me to him and kissing me. "I didn't think you would be back until later."

I smiled back at him as I wrapped my arms around his neck, my height almost matching his because of the steps we were standing on. "I was in a hurry to get back."

He gave me a side smile and leaned in to kiss me again. "I can't imagine why," he whispered as he held onto my hips.

"Eh." I shrugged. "I have a really needy boyfriend."

He laughed. "Is that right?"

"Oh yeah. He's demands a lot of my attention."

Leaning in closer, he ran his nose down the length of mine and whispered, "All of it, actually."

"I love you," I said back, my tone soft and heartfelt, feeling in that moment that I just had to tell him.

This was how the past two weeks had been, our fun and playful dynamic always being followed by the heaviness of what was to come.

"I love you, Bella," he answered. "Come out with me tonight."

"We're not going to Riley's again are we?" I asked, pouting. I didn't want to spend time with anyone else. I didn't want to chat with Rachel or share Edward with his best friend. I wanted him all to myself; we only had so much time left.

"No," he assured. "I'm the only one who gets you tonight."

"Good." I smiled. "But you need to shower first."

"Do I smell bad?" He lifted up his arm and took a big whiff, his sour-looking facial expression making me laugh. "Okay, point taken."

I took a step back and headed into the house, Edward following behind me. "You can shower here if you want."

Uncle Charlie was in the kitchen and gave us a side eyed glare as we walked in.

"Um," Edward stammered as he looked at my uncle and then at me. "I'll just go home. It won't take me long."

"You want to stay for dinner first?" Charlie asked, stirring the baked beans he had going on the stove.

Edward smiled at his offer but shook his head. "I promised my mom I would be home for dinner. She actually wanted me to invite you, Bella, but I didn't think you would be back until later."

I had met his mom a couple times, very sweet lady, but his dad was kind of distant. It wasn't that I didn't want to go over there, but given the option, I would rather have spent the time with Charlie.

"That's okay. You just go home, eat, shower, and meet back here?"

He smiled and kissed my forehead as I glanced at the clock and saw it was a little past seven. "I'll hurry," he promised.

"Oh, take your time. I'll just visit my other boyfriend until you get back."

Narrowing his eyes at me, he smirked and kissed my cheek. "Have fun with that."

We both laughed as he walked out of the kitchen to the front door. "See y'all in a bit!"

Once the front door closed, Uncle Charlie turned to me, wiping his hands on a dish towel before placing it on the counter. "Things seem to be going well between you," he commented.

"Yeah, I guess," I said, not really knowing how else to respond.

"So, I take it that you guys fixed up everything?" he continued, referring to how distant I was after we'd had sex almost a month ago.

I raised my eyebrow in his direction. "We're long past that, Uncle Charlie," I said, even though my uncle shouldn't have had any idea why Edward and I were so awkward around each other for that time. And I honestly wasn't sure why he was bringing it up now.

"Well, that's good, I guess." His tone was grave, and it made me stop pulling plates out from the cabinet to look at him.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He just shrugged. "Have y'all talked about what you're going to do once the summer ends?"

I didn't necessarily shut the cupboard out of anger, but I did shut it harder than usual. "We still have time," I said back with a bit of harshness.

"Your mother comes back in a few days, honey. I just don't want to see you hurt is all."

"So what would you like us to do? Break up now? Not enjoy these last couple days? Rip the band-aid off so it hurts less?"

He took a deep breath and looked at me. "That's not what I was saying."

"Then what were you saying?"

"I just think it's best that you prepare yourself for this not working out."

I shut the other cupboard door, this time out of anger, and glared at him. "I can't just let go, Uncle Charlie. It's not that easy, nor that simple! I love him, okay?" Tears burned at the back of my eyes as my heart clenched in my chest. "I don't want to say goodbye; I don't want to leave. You think that I'm just ignoring the end of the summer? Like if I don't think about it then it won't happen? I hate to break it to you, but I'm not that ignorant! I get it. I know it's coming, but I refuse to let the knowledge of us leaving steal away these last few days. We deserve to be happy; we deserve these last few moments!"

He looked at me with a face full of sadness and pity. "I don't want to see you heartbroken, baby," he whispered.

I wiped the tears that had fallen down my cheek and tried to steady my breathing, as well as my erratic heartbeat. "It's too late for that, Charlie."

It was then out of the corner of my eye, I saw Edward standing there in the entryway, looking just as crestfallen as I felt. Without a word, he took a step back into the kitchen and strode over to where I was standing, immediately taking my face into his hands and kissing me with everything he had. He didn't care that my uncle was standing right there; he didn't care that he smelled like dirty horses and sweat from his long day at work.

All he cared about, all I cared about, was us, together, this moment. I felt so loved by him with that kiss that it made my knees weak. I knew, with every last bit of my heart, that Edward loved me. I felt it; I was a first-hand witness to it.

There was no pretending that he wasn't as affected by this as I was. We were in this together, drowning with one another. Just because we didn't talk about it didn't mean that we both didn't feel it. This past month, we had changed so much, not only as people, but in our relationship.

I felt like I was a part of him, belonging to him in a way no one else would. And the same went with him being a part of me. I would never, _could _never fully let him go. I knew this as I kissed him back in my uncle's kitchen. I knew this as my heart raced and hands shook.

"What are you still doing here?" I asked after our kiss broke, his hands stroking my tearful cheeks.

"I forgot my keys," he answered simply, looking down at me with a look I knew all too well.

I took a deep, shuddering breath in and rested my head on his chest. We stood there for a few minutes, not saying anything before he pulled back and kissed my forehead.

"I'm not going to eat; I'll just shower and come right back, okay?" he whispered.

I nodded my head but didn't say anything. And then, with one last kiss on my lips, he grabbed his keys off the table and left. I wrapped my arms around myself as I looked up to see Uncle Charlie looking at me with a look I couldn't decipher.

I didn't say anything to him as I broke eye-contact and walked upstairs to my room.

**O.o**

Two days. We were down to two days. I woke up that morning feeling a whole different range of emotions than I had the night before when Edward and I had gone out together. When I was with him, I just felt almost relief to be in a moment, but after he left, when I was here alone in my bedroom, I just felt guilt that I didn't want to spend my time with Charlie. I knew I was leaving him, too. It wasn't all about Edward, but right then, as I opened my eyes to the rising sun, it sure as hell felt like it.

After my little outburst in the kitchen, Charlie had given Edward today, which would have been his last day, off work, telling him that he was too young to waste his hours away with a job, that he would spend the rest of his life doing that. So instead, we were going back to the river. This time, however, there would be no Rachel swinging off the rope or Riley there to pull me under. There would be no other distractions.

Because even though I knew it wasn't all about Edward, today it was. It was just going to be us, because I think we both knew...this was all we had left.

He'd said last night that he would be here by eight thirty, that he would have a surprise ready for me when he got here. Not wanting to be caught off guard in my hot pink pajama pants and morning breath, I jumped out of bed, checking the clock on my bedside table and saw that it was just past seven. It gave me plenty of time to shower and get ready.

I looked out my window, holding my breath, hoping that he didn't show up early - which he was known to do just to throw me off - and sure enough, his truck was there, and Edward was nowhere in it. My guess was that he was downstairs, doing what, I had no idea, but I tiptoed across my room and as quietly as I could, opened the door, peeking my head around the corner.

The coast was clear, so I eyed the bathroom across the hall and made a dash for it. But, of course, it was never that simple. My sock got caught on one of the un-even boards, and I face planted right at the top of the staircase.

"Damn!" I yelled half out of pain and the other half out of frustration. Now my very simple plan of going unnoticed until I could get ready was shot to hell as a loud thump sounded when my body connected with the floor.

"Damnit, Bella, you're going to wake up the whole house!" Uncle Charlie yelled from downstairs, laughing after his remark.

"Yeah, yeah," I rebutted, trying to quickly stand up but being halted by the pain that shot through my knee.

I heard whispered voices downstairs before Uncle Charlie sighed dramatically, asking, "Are you okay?" as if he had no interest in the state of my wellbeing but was instead being forced to ask the question.

"Tell Edward I'm fine!" I yelled back, rolling my eyes as I stood all the way up to my feet.

"Um, uh, Edward's not here," Charlie stammered, the newspaper crinkling in his hands.

"Yeah, okay," I remarked with obvious sarcasm. "I'm going to shower."

Once I undressed, I saw the black and blue mark already forming on me knee, and I cursed the fact that it was going to be clearly seen in whatever I wore today. I couldn't even make up a better story of how I got it, since Edward was downstairs and heard me trip and fall.

I didn't spend a long time getting ready; since we were just going down to the river, I didn't have to. Once I was dressed in my blue bikini and white cover up and sandals, I walked downstairs, hanging onto the railing as I did so to prevent any other unneeded injuries.

I turned the corner into the kitchen and saw that there was a whole array of food set up on the counter, packed away in containers next to a basket. Edward was on the far end by the refrigerator, shutting it and turning around right as I walked in.

"Surprise," he said with a smile, putting the orange juice carton down.

"'Don't worry, Bella, Edward isn't here,'" I mocked my uncle, looking over at him with my hands on my hips.

He was still at the kitchen table and merely rolled his eyes after my comment. "Get over it, kid."

I chuckled and walked over to kiss his cheek before going over to Edward, sitting up on the counter next to where he was standing.

"What happened to eight thirty?" I looked at him pointedly.

The blush that rose on his cheeks was endearing, and I loved when he was this open in front of me. "Well, I was going to surprise you with breakfast in bed, but you kind of ruined that one."

"I ruined it?" I laughed. "Okay, buddy. You just wanted to see my room after all this time." I winked as Charlie's head snapped over to us and Edward's face turned an even deep shade of crimson, considering he was just in my room the night before.

Edward started to make some weird noises, an attempt at words to try and rebut my comment, but it just sounded like the garbled mess that it was. I chuckled and patted his shoulder.

"Kidding, honey. Relax."

"You better be kidding," I heard Uncle Charlie grumble as he looked back down at his paper.

"Not funny," Edward whispered, while I just shrugged my shoulders and popped a grape into my mouth that was sitting next to the sink.

"So if I don't get breakfast in bed, where are we going?" I motioned to the containers on the counter. "I'm starving."

"Well, I'm not sure I want to tell you know," he said as he put the whole carton of orange juice in the basket.

"Oh, come on. Don't pout."

He glanced over at my uncle to make sure he wasn't paying attention before he turned back towards me, giving me a look that spoke volumes. The dangerous, playful side of Edward was hovering just under the surface, waiting until we were alone to come out.

"Pout? I don't ever pout, _honey_," he mocked.

I laughed as he came over and put a kiss on my lips. "You were definitely pouting."

He took my hands in his and pulled, causing me to slide off the counter.

"We have places to be, baby. Let's go."

Not needing to argue with him there, I walked into the living room to grab my purse and met him back in the entry way of the kitchen by the front door.

"I thought we were leaving," I commented, seeing Edward still standing in the kitchen.

"Wrong door, sweetheart," he said as he picked up the basket.

"What do you mean 'wrong door'?"

He gave me a side smile, saying, "Do you trust me?"

I sighed dramatically and dropped my head back. "Never," I remarked, causing both Edward and Charlie to chuckle.

"Okay, okay, see you later, Uncle Charlie," I said as I walked back into the kitchen towards the back door.

"You kids have fun. Make good choices!" he added on at the end right as we stepped out on the back porch.

"All right, Mr. Smart Guy, where are we going?" I asked while squinting my eyes, the bright sun shining directly in them.

He closed the back door all the way before he put the basket on the ground, giving me the same smile as before as he pushed me quietly into the wall of the house, trapping me by his large frame.

"And what exactly are you doing?" I whispered as not to get caught.

"Don't worry about it, baby," he shot back, hushing whatever words I would have said by placing his lips on mine, kissing me with more intensity than he would have ever dared to do in front of my uncle.

I kissed him back, allowing myself to be lost in the feel of his touch, the power of his presence. There was no such thing as too early to be kissing Edward this way. I was completely surrounded by him, his tongue dancing with mine, his lips pressed hard and determined. This kiss was the best 'good morning' I had gotten all summer.

"Well, then," I said when he backed away, leaning back down to pick up the basket as I stood still a little dazed against the wall.

"You coming?" he asked with a smug look as he reached his free hand out for mine.

Wanting to save a little face and not look too affected, I matched his devilish smirk and smoothed my white cover-up with my hands before putting my palm in his. "That was a nice little hold up, Mr. Masen, but I'm hungry. When are you feeding me?"

He laughed as he rolled his eyes, taking the first step down the porch. "You are impossible," he scoffed.

I just laughed as I caught up with his footing and walked even closer to him. "Yeah, but you put up with it."

"Why is that again?" he asked, being the smartass he was.

"Eh." I shrugged. "I think it's because you love me."

I looked up at his face to see his smile as he looked down at me. "I guess you're right," he said back.

"But seriously," I began as we reached the stables, "where are we going?"

"Patience is not one of your virtues, baby," he scolded lightly, putting the basket down as he got a saddle from the wall.

"I thought we were eating breakfast, not riding," I said as I helped him with his task.

"Seriously, Bella?" He gave a side look.

"You could just tell me where we're going."

"And what fun would that be?"

"It would be a lot less annoying on my part," I offered.

He stopped what he was doing and placed another kiss on my lips. "Now hush," he instructed. "We have places to be, remember?"

He tied the basket to one of the brown horses before he helped me up and climbed up, sitting in front of me. I luckily had well gotten over my fear of riding, and I was actually decent at it now, having a pretty good instructor and all.

"You ready?" he asked as he settled in.

"I'm hungry, pal. Let's get a move on."

I heard him laugh as I wrapped my arms around his waist and we took off, out of the confines of the gated area and into the open fields of my uncle's land.

**O.o**

"Will you stop messing with the radio?" he asked as he brushed my hand away. "I like that song."

"But it's country," I complained from the passenger seat of his old blue truck, on our way to the river.

"Exactly...good music."

"Country," I repeated again, as if that was enough to explain my point.

Instead of fighting with me, he started singing along to the horrid song, slapping his thigh to the beat.

"You sound awful!" I laughed, making him sing louder.

I covered my ears in protest, unable to take my eyes off of him, though. When the song ended, he looked over at me and pulled my hand from my ear.

"You should have listened," he said with mock seriousness.

"Oh really, and why is that?"

"Because that was our song."

"Our song? Why does that have to be our song?"

"Because I said so," he answered, winking at me afterwards.

I rolled my eyes, looking at the window before placing my eyes back on him. "Would it make you happy?"

He smiled triumphantly and nodded. "Ecstatic."

"Why does a country song have to be ours exactly?"

"Because when you go back up north, it will be easier to remember me by it." I knew we were just joking around, but he actually sounded kind of serious.

"I don't need a song to remember you, Edward."

"Well," he said, his eyes not leaving the road, "whenever you hear it, you'll remember this moment."

I smiled at him before I looked back at the passing scenery, moving my face so he couldn't see my smile falling. There it was again…the reminder I was leaving, that this was it. I could practically hear the clock ticking down the minutes.

We took the same hike we had the last time we had come to the river, but the nervous butterflies that I'd had then was replaced with a gut-wrenching sinking feeling. But I think both Edward and I were used to these mood swings by now.

"Come on, don't think about it," he pleaded, pulling on my hand to get me to look at him.

"I can't not think about it."

He sighed heavily, silently agreeing.

As the afternoon wore on, we were able to put aside what the next day was going to bring and focus on having a good time. He brought me back to the cave we had visited three months prior, where he had first told me that he wanted something. Who would have known it would have turned into this?

"What do you think college is going to be like?" I asked as we sat beneath the waterfall, having to talk loudly to override the noise of the rushing water.

He shrugged as he sat on the rocks beside me, rubbing his hands together while his forearms rested on his thighs. "I'm not too sure. Different than what I'm used to, that's for sure."

"What do you mean?" I asked, playing with the smaller rocks at our feet.

"I don't know…this place, this town, it's just so small, you know? I've known the same people, gone to school with the same kids, done the same thing all my life. It's so sheltered here. I feel like college is going to open up a whole new world to me."

I smiled and looked over at him, wanting to be excited for him. "So you still want to travel, see the world? Leave this old place behind?"

He laughed and looked back at me. "There's so much out there, Bella. There are things to see, people to meet. There's nothing left for me here," he said the last part more softly. "It's not like I have you to come home to."

I licked my lips, buying myself more time before I continued. "Are you ever going to come back?"

He shrugged again and looked back at his hands. "Maybe for holidays and stuff, but I just don't see myself here. I can't picture this place being my home."

There was a silence that sat between us before he asked, still not looking at me, "Are you going to come back here next summer?"

It was my turn to shrug as I ran a hand through my wet hair. "I don't know," I admitted sadly. Especially with my mother, things were always crazy and changing in my life. And since next summer was my last summer before college, I doubted my mom would let me out of her sight.

"I guess we just have to wait and see," he said, smiling at me.

"You never know," I added, trying to sound upbeat.

He leaned over and kissed me then, and I knew that this was all he could offer me, and I took it gladly.

"Are you ready to get out of here?" he asked, and I wondered what time it was. "We still have things to do."

I looked at him with surprise. "What else are we doing today?"

"Now what fun would it be if I told you that?" He laughed and stood up, winking at me as he helped me to my feet on the slippery rocks.

"Always a mystery."

Smiling at me, he shrugged again and began to walk out of the cave. I, however, turned around and took in the view one last time. This is another spot I wish I could have taken a picture of, but I was sure, as I turned around and followed Edward, that this was just another set of memories that I never could forget.

**O.o**

A little less than two hours after Edward had dropped me off back at Charlie's, I heard a knock at the front door, and I headed downstairs in my deep blue, flowy dress, my hair curled and makeup done to perfection, and answered the door. Edward stood on the other side in black slacks and a matching blue button down, sleeves rolled up his forearms. In his hands were pink daisies and his mouth held an unmistakable smirk.

"Well, hi," I said, looking him over.

"You clean up nice, baby," he teased, kissing me before he passed me the flowers. "I believe these are your favorite."

Not wanting to be a smart ass on our last night out, I took them with a smile and thanked him, saying how beautiful they were.

"So where are you kids headed?" Uncle Charlie asked from the kitchen, having just opened his second beer of the night.

"I got reservations down in Raleigh."

"Ah, the big city," he said with a chuckle. "Just get my girl back home safe."

"Yes, sir."

I rolled my eyes at the formality of the word sir and pulled on Edward's hand, ready for our dinner. "I'm ready if you are," I said, hoping he would take the hint so we could leave.

Charlie just smiled as us, albeit sadly, as he shooed us out the door.

The air was thick as we walked outside, the last of the sun's rays falling around us. "I'm going to miss these southern nights," I commented. "There's nothing quite like them."

"You mean you're going to miss the humidity and stickiness that comes with just walking outside?" he remarked sarcastically, opening the truck door for me.

"You just don't know, Masen," I said back. "You've got it made down here."

He scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Right."

"No, I'm serious," I continued after he walked around and climbed into the driver's side.

"Bella, the weather here is nothing to miss."

"You say that now…but move up north and see how you like it."

"Anywhere but Johnston County. That's where I want to be."

I sighed in disagreement but didn't say anything. He was too stubborn for his own good sometimes.

**O.o**

Our dinner was nice, and Edward and I were surprisingly still able to have a lighthearted conversation in between the declarations of "I'll miss you," or talk of what our plans were for the future.

It was such a back-and-forth of where we were going to be ten years from then while at the same time fighting to keep the moment we were in. It was the calm before the storm, the last chapter, the standstill before reality.

Part of me wanted it to end just because the place we were in was so exhausting and emotionally draining, but I knew that the next day I would be wishing to have this night back.

As I sat in the car after we left the restaurant, I asked Edward for the hundredth time that day where we were heading, and when he looked over at me, he actually looked nervous and a bit reluctant.

"Um, well I was kind of thinking…" he trailed off and stopped before he finished his thought.

"What?" I asked, motioning for him to continue.

"It doesn't seem like the best idea right now, actually."

I squeezed the hand that I was holding. "Will you just tell me?"

He glanced at me before looking back at the road ahead of us. "Well, I was maybe thinking about going back to our spot."

"The field?" I asked, and he nodded.

I thought about it before I went to answer, asking myself how I truly felt about going back there. I hadn't been since my breakdown a month prior, but a large part of me wanted to go back, spend our last night there with him. He was right…it was our spot.

"I want to go," I told him, sure of my response.

He looked back at me again, trying to see how serious I was. "Really?"

"Yeah." I shrugged. "I think it will be a perfect way to end our summer."

He smiled sadly. "I was thinking the same thing."

It took a while for my eyes to adjust to the darkness after we climbed out of the truck and tried to find our way, hand-in-hand, over to our tree. I was glad he had a blanket with him, and I happily sat between his legs, my back to his front, on the soft ground.

His arms were wrapped tightly around me, and I held onto his forearms that were across my chest. For a few minutes, we just sat there, breathing each other in, taking a moment to relax, not think, just _be._

It started off as just a kiss to my shoulder but then moved up to my neck and then right below my ear. They were soft, sensual, lingering, as if his lips were trying to memorize the feel of my skin. I held onto his arms tighter as I felt the chills rise on my body, my breathing hitching as his mouth opened slightly, the feeling of his tongue against my neck forcing my eyes to shut.

"What are you doing?" I intended for my question to be playful, but it came out a lot more breathy than witty.

"Kissing my girlfriend," he responded, only to then continue, even daring to move the strap of my dress to the side so he could kiss the covered skin of my shoulder.

"I like it," I admitted, leaning into him more.

He didn't answer me with words, but his hands moved to brush my hair back before they traveled down my neck, arms, and the outsides of my hips and legs that he could touch in our position. They took their time, slowly memorizing my every curve, and I eventually turned around so I could kiss him the right way.

He brought me to sit down astride him, my legs on the outside of his, and he wrapped his hands around my waist, pulling me to him as my mouth met his. I let my hands run through his hair, loving how soft it was compared to the unshaven scruff that outlined his jaw. I wasn't sure how he felt so familiar yet so new at the same time.

A while later, when the only words that were spoken between us were with our bodies, something changed. I wasn't sure if it was just inside of me, but as I was kissing him, all I could think was _this was it._ I knew the thought had been in my head all day, but this felt permanent, final, and I didn't want to leave here without showing him one last time how much I cared.

I knew the last time I had asked for this, it had backfired on me. I really wasn't ready then, and it was a really big emotional hit that I took and brought Edward into. But this time, being here with him, knowing what I knew now, _feeling _what I felt now was so different than it had been before. I couldn't put my finger on what it was exactly, but as he kissed my neck and pushed me back on the blanket, I just knew that this time was better, would be better.

I stopped what we were doing and took a moment to look at him, and he matched my gaze, staring into my eyes as everything that I felt passed between us. There were no words; we didn't need them. He felt it, too.

His movements were slow and careful as he took off my dress; he made sure to kiss me every few moments, keeping his eyes open as he looked at me directly, watching to see if something changed on my face. I knew he was nervous for my reaction, considering how last time turned out, but I tried my best to assure him that this was different.

"I'm okay," I whispered. "I promise."

This wasn't about losing my virginity or my innocence. It wasn't about him _taking _something from me.

It was about Edward, right here, always being the man that I loved first.

He was my first love, and as I lay beneath him, feeling his skin against mine, I prayed with everything I had that he would somehow, _some way,_ be my last.

**O.o**

The next morning, I felt like I had a dead, heavy weight on my heart. Today was it. He was leaving. My mother would be here.

The summer was over.

I pulled myself out of bed, forcing myself to brush my teeth and pull my hair back. Feeling as though it was a chore as I dressed in shorts and a tank top before I packed up the rest of my belongings. My eyes were dry as they could be, having run all out of tears.

It was going on three in the morning when Edward dropped me off last night, and even though Uncle Charlie sat on the couch until I walked in, he didn't say anything as I walked in the door and up to my room. He knew, I knew, Edward knew…it was time to say goodbye, which was punishment enough.

"Hi, darlin'," Charlie greeted as I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. He was frying up some eggs on the stove, and I poured a cup of coffee before I sat down at the table.

"What time is Edward heading out of here?" he asked, sparing me a glace.

"Noon," I answered, my dry eyes burning.

He sighed, nodding. "And you're mother will be here around four, right?" he continued.

"Something like that," I mumbled, not bothering to remember the detail from her last letter.

"Alright, well, baby, chin up... This one goodbye isn't gonna kill ya. You have a whole lifetime to look forward to, and who knows, maybe you and the Masen kid might work out after all."

I lifted my head and looked at him with hopeful eyes. "Do you really think so?"

"Life's a funny thing, Bella," was his only response.

I remembered the night before, when Edward had carved into the tree. _I love you, B_.

He loved me, and even though we were still young, I could only hang onto the prayer that this summer wasn't it for us, that we still had a chance, that life was a funny thing and anything could happen.

But when I went to go reply back to Uncle Charlie, there was a knock at the door, and the sound only sent my hopeful thoughts into oblivion, because part of me knew, with each heavy step I took to answer the person behind it...

This was it.

My heart was about to break, and I wasn't sure how long it would take to ever feel whole again.

…

**End Notes –**

**Oh my. **

**Please, won't you leave me a review? **


	28. Chapter 28

**Sorry for the delay on this chapter. **

**Many, many thanks to Ginginlee for being my fantastic beta, and to lizzylillyrose, Sammielynnsmom, and Morethanmyself for being my more than lovely prereaders! **

**Thanks also to SageA and Alexis who reviewed SW on Alexisthelemonhead(dot)blogspot(dot)com last week! **

**I love you all who are still reading, and especially those who are still reviewing & rec'ing. You guys have made this fic what it is, and I thank you for it! **

**Chapter 28**

**2010**

I wasn't a child anymore. I was an adult, and I was expected to act like one. I was responsible to make decisions, even the hard ones, and as I sat in the enclosed, stuffy office, I was expected to make a life alternating choice on someone else's behalf. I didn't want to do it; I didn't want to sit here and weigh all the consequences, think about all the options. I wanted to push it off, hand it off to someone else, but unfortunately, I had to act like the adult that I was.

_Damn-it._

"Okay, will you explain this option to me one more time?" I asked, once again confused as I dug my hands into my hair.

The lady who sat on the other end of the deep mahogany desk pointed to the sheet of paper that sat between us. "This is the best financial open with his insurance plan. It will pay for six weeks of rehabilitation in a separate facility, and then it will provide home care for three months."

"What am I supposed to do when those three months are up?" I asked, feeling as though we were just talking in circles.

The woman sighed heavily and sat back in her chair, the springs squeaking beneath her weight. "I can't make the decision for you, but if it was me, and this was my father, I would honestly consider placing him in a home where he could get constant care."

I didn't want it to come to that, but after Charlie suffered _yet another_ heart-attack this morning, I knew that outcome was looking more and more like the right one; however, Charlie was too stubborn of a man to let that happen. But after today's surgery, I just didn't know what else to do. I wished Edward would have come to the meeting with me, but since he got to the hospital earlier that day, he felt worlds away.

"Why don't you spend some time thinking it over; we don't have to many any decisions right this moment," she spoke, trying to keep me calm.

I nodded my head and wiped the tear that sprung from my eye. "Okay, thank you."

Standing up from the desk, I gathered the papers with all the different options, tucking them into a folder that she provided and made my way back into the hallway of the hospital. It was going on four that afternoon, and Uncle Charlie would hopefully have been placed back into his room by now. It had only been two days, but I felt like they dragged out over a lifetime. I couldn't believe it had only been this morning that Riley was here, and my eyes closed on their own accord at the memory of him walking across the parking lot, walking out of my life, hopefully forever.

I had been a senior in college at Ohio State University when I ran into Riley on campus, not recognizing him when he first came up to me in the library. I was shocked to say the least, but I let him talk to me, let the last lingering syllables of his southern accent bring me back to a place that, by that point in my life, only rested in the deepest, darkest parts of my heart.

He was the one person who knew that Edward existed, that what Edward and I had was real. He had been there; he had witnessed it. To me, at twenty-one-years-old, it was the only thing that mattered. When I had finally had the nerve to ask about him, when we met up again a few days later at a coffee shop in the union, I was only left disappointed.

Riley had moved with his family to Columbus the summer of '88, one year after I had spent those few months in North Carolina. I wanted to ask why they hadn't kept in touch, but I didn't after Riley told me that Edward had changed after going off to college. He had said that Edward was just a different person, and part of me held onto that because, to me, that was the only explanation that lined up with what had happened between us.

I didn't date Riley right away; in fact, we were barely even friends in college. Even though we had been going to the same school, unknowingly, since our freshmen year, it was just too big of a campus to run into each other often. After those first few interactions, I didn't see him again until a couple weeks before graduation. I remembered that he seemed beyond nervous when he had asked me what my plans were after school ended, and I saw as his shoulders relaxed immensely when I told him I was staying in Columbus.

"_Oh, really? Me, too," _he had said. _"Isn't it funny how things turn out?"_

_Yeah, hilarious,_ I recalled thinking at the time, choosing to not say it aloud in case he could pick up on my sarcasm.

Our friendship had developed from there, when his office was across the street from mine in downtown. He would ask me to meet him for lunch or coffee, and as the months went on and the seasons changed, he and I did, too.

I didn't marry him until I was twenty-seven. Ten years of my life I held onto the notion that somehow, someway, Edward would come back into my life. Was it fair to marry Riley when I knew that even though I loved him, I still loved him _less_? No, but I had spent thirteen years trying to build a marriage that in the end crumbled at our feet.

What was _funny,_ I thought, was the fact that here I was…that the _somehow, someway_ actually happened, and Edward was back in my life. Maybe if I would have fought harder, done more all those years ago, our paths would have been different, pain on everyone's end would have been spared, but life, unfortunately, doesn't have a re-do button. We just had to live with the consequences of our actions.

"Hi," I said softly as I walked back in Uncle Charlie's room. Edward was sitting in the chair beside the empty bed. Charlie still must have been in the recovery unit.

"Hi," he said back, his hand holding up his chin as his tired eyes hung heavily.

"You can go home, get some rest," I offered, feeling terrible for him.

He just shook his head. "How was the meeting?" he asked, rising to his feet and offering me the chair, which I declined.

"Miserable," I spoke honestly. "I don't know what I'm going to do."

He looked hesitant, like he wanted to take a step toward me, but he didn't. Instead, he dug his hands into his pockets and looked at the ground.

"Do you maybe want to go grab some coffee or something?" I tried to sound upbeat, my attempt to diffuse whatever tension that had sat between us since Riley showed up the day before.

"Bella, listen," he started, "we shouldn't do this here."

I took a second before I spoke to just look at him, trying to stay calm. "Do what here, Edward?" I couldn't help how clipped my tone was.

He sighed in defeat and motioned with his arms to the space between us. "This."

I took a step towards him, and he matched it with a small step back. _He's walking away from me,_ I thought, panicking. "What are you doing?" I asked, my voice just above a whisper.

When his eyes met mine, it looked like I could see inside his soul. "We both have things to take care of," he tried to deflect. "We can talk about us later. This isn't the time."

With a shaky voice, I dared to ask, "Is there still an us?"

This time, he took the step forward when I took the step back, and his silence answered me.

"What are you doing?" I asked again, anger rising. "What is wrong with you!"

His face turned to one of heated hatred, his eyes burning into my skin. "What is wrong with me?" he asked incredulously. "What am _I_ doing?"

He shook his head, trying to clear whatever direction his thoughts were heading towards, and then he took a step around me and towards the door.

"Don't you dare walk out of here," I said loudly. "Don't walk away. Not again."

He turned with a resolute calm, his look of hatred turning into one of indifference. "You were right, Bella. We both made a lot of mistakes, and I guess we just have to deal with the consequences of them."

"This is about RILEY!" I yelled, throwing my hands up in the air. "You are leaving me because of _him_? Please tell me you're kidding. This is some big joke. April Fools, Bella! Surprise!"

His eyes travelled up and down my body, taking me all in. "This is about a lot more than Riley. We were in over our heads when we said we could do this and not suffer the repercussions. _My God,_" he breathed out, "she was right!"

The mention of the word 'she' made my blood run cold. "Who was right, Edward?" I asked, my tone a lethal calm, knowing that he was referring to Rachel. And to think, I thought she was being sincere when she came to the hospital yesterday.

He took another step back and ran his hands through his hair. "We think we know each other so well because what? We spent one summer together?" He laughed sarcastically. "That was a lifetime ago!"

"Don't do this," I whispered.

"It's inevitable, Bella. We were kidding ourselves getting into something so quickly. When Riley walked in, when I saw him yesterday, do you know what I thought? Do you have any idea what ran through my head?"

Shaking, I wrapped my arms around me, moving my head back and forth.

"Here is a man," he continued, "who you met the same time as me. Here is a man who watched me love you, fall for you, break because of you, and what happened in the end? He got you, Bella. _He_ got you. _He_ knows you. _He_ loved you for years. Hell, he married you. And what's worse, _you_ married _him._"

"Wait," I interrupted, glaring at him. "Do you realize what a hypocrite you are being? What about Rachel! YOU MARRIED RACHEL! Of _all_ the women in the world…"

"Yeah," he said, not missing a beat, his voice not rising to the level of anger mine had. "I married Rachel. I married someone else. And what? I walked out of a marriage with a woman that I knew, who knew me…"

"I know you!" I tried again.

"No," he said as he shook his head. "You don't."

"I love you." My voice broke, tears welling inside my eyes.

"There's too much here, Bella. Too many complications, situations that we need to deal with. I'm not saying that this is over...we just need space, both of us." He pointed to the bed for emphasis. "Your uncle needs you. My children need me. I need some time to figure things out."

"What about everything we went through this summer, Edward? God, don't you see that you're making the same mistake you said you made twenty-three years ago? Just a couple months ago you were crying on my bed, begging me not to leave you. What is this? What the hell has gotten into you?" By the end of my speech, tears were streaming down my face, my voice full of thickness of the impending sobs.

"It makes sense, Bella! We're trying to force ourselves to fit a mold, to fit a certain life. We're trying to construct our own happy ending. I was just a kid when I loved you! "

I took a step forward, only a couple feet separating us. "NO!" I argured. "Stop this! Why can't you see that all those years apart, that's when we were trying to fit a mold. Now, together, this is right, Edward. We are right! I don't know what Rachel said to you, or when you even saw her today, for that matter, but she's wrong. She's wrong. We are right. THIS IS RIGHT!

"You love me," I continued. "You've loved me almost your whole life. I see that. I know that."

His eyes refused to meet mine, staying on the floor of the hospital.

"Don't listen to her lies, Edward. Don't let Riley keep you from being with me. We'll work it out; we'll figure it out together!" I could barely keep myself standing, feeling as though the weight of the world was pressing down on my shoulders. "I need you…"

He closed the distance between us and took my face in the palm of his hand, lifting my eyes to his. "You don't need me. Right now you need to focus on Charlie, Seth." He paused, his eyes going back and forth between mine as he stood there. "We were fooling ourselves."

It sounded like he was trying to convince himself, and that was what broke my heart the most. I knew he didn't believe these things that he was saying. I knew that he was confused, hurt, going through a lot. Charlie was like a father to him. He was going through as much as I, except his divorced was just finalized. He jumped right into something with me, thinking I could solve his problems for him. And he was right in one aspect…I couldn't fix him.

I shut my eyes to just feel the skin of his hand on my face. As much as I wanted to wrap my arms around him, I couldn't.

It finally hit me that even though I loved Edward, we still needed to act like adults. If we didn't do things differently, we would have the same ending we did when we were kids. Whatever Edward was going through, he needed to process it, deal with it. If he wanted to leave me, I had to let him walk away.

The only thing that would be different, the one thing I could do to change this, what I didn't do when I was seventeen…

I would stay.

I wouldn't be giving up as easy as he was. I would fight for this.

Because after two decades of trying to fit our lives in a mold, of trying to forget about the boy who changed my life, I wasn't walking away. We deserved to be happy.

We deserved to be with each other.

So when Edward let go of my face, when he took a step back and looked at me with pure devastation, and when he walked out of the room, I didn't stop him.

I couldn't force him into any conclusions, and he needed to figure this one out on his own.

**O.o**

The days passing were slow, agonizing. It was like I just did enough to keep breathing.

_Breathe in; breathe out. Repeat. Don't cry; deep breaths. Sit on hands to stop their shaking. Drink some water. Smile for Seth. Smile for Uncle Charlie. Don't cry. Breathe in; breathe out._

_Repeat._

_Repeat._

_Just…keep…breathing…_

"What is it, baby?" Uncle Charlie asked from his bed, watching me as I looked out the window.

I turned around and gave him a sad smile. "Nothing's wrong, old man. Just keep getting better."

"Who, me?" He lifted his weak, shaking arm and pointed to himself. "I'm as healthy as a horse."

I sat down in the chair beside him and took his other hand, avoiding where the IV was inserted. "I would've seriously hurt you if you died on me, ya hear? No more of that heart attack bullshit."

He knew that adding a bit of humor was the only way either one of this was going to deal with his declining health, and I was glad that he let me have that bit of solace. "Wouldn't even dream of it, baby. Besides, what would you do without my aged wisdom and guidance?"

"Who the hell knows?" I replied, dropping my head to the bed and chuckling half-heartedly.

"So where is he?"

"Seth's working at your place," I answered, avoiding his real question.

"Bella…"

"I don't want to talk about it, Uncle Charlie."

I felt as his other hand patted the top of my head, smoothing my hair back. "He came by earlier today when you were sleeping."

I shot my head up. "What?"

It had been four days since we had talked, four days of silence, of letting him have his space.

"I don't even think he saw me when he first came in here. His eyes just shot to you in the corner and stayed there for a few seconds. He looked just as broken as you do, honey."

"I don't look broken," I attempted to argue, even though he was spot on. I looked awful.

"I think he's just confused, darlin'. The man's life turned upside down when you came back into it. He just needs a bit of time to tilt it back, figure out where you fit into the picture, where he is in the picture."

Even though I was resolved on where I stood where Edward was concerned a few days ago, my thoughts were quickly shifting. "That's bullshit, Charlie. We had all summer together. He knows that I love him. He knows me. I don't know why he pulled away or what got into him. Surely it had to have been more than Riley."

Charlie scoffed at his name. "Please don't murmur that god-awful sound again."

I gave him a pointed look. "Come on…"

"Bella, Edward's human just like the rest of us. He isn't some perfect creature that has all of earth's answers. Let him be human. Let him figure this out. You gotta let him choose you, baby." He took my hand in both of his. "He will. I promise he will choose you."

"What if he doesn't?" I asked, my voice soft as my eyes once again glassed over with the threat of tears.

He looked at me as if he was seeing straight through me, as if my heart and my soul were clear to see. "He has to. It might have taken twenty plus years to get back here, but when fate has a plan, there isn't any getting around it."

"I wish I had your resolution. You didn't see him the other day. You didn't watch him walk out."

"You didn't see him when he looked at you sleeping. You didn't watch as he crumbled right before me," he countered back. "You didn't see him look at you as if you were the only thing that ever held meaning in his life."

I rolled my eyes at his last comment. "Now you're just sounding cliché."

He shrugged as he sat back on his bed. "Think what you want, Bella. But I've seen that man fall in love with you once, and it looked just about the same when you came back. Only this time there was a lifetime's worth of pain, suffering, lessons, and truth that went into the picture. A love is a lot stronger and holds a lot more worth when you know what it's like to lose it."

My head was beginning to pound, trying to hear out everything he was saying. I swore he was too wise for his own good. "I honestly don't know how you didn't find someone to love," I said without thinking, wishing I could take it back as soon as I said it.

But he didn't seem offended. Instead, he lifted my chin so I would look at him. "Oh, but I did, baby. I really did."

And that was all it took for the tears to pool over. That was the answer to my earlier decision about where he would live when he got out of the hospital. It was all too clear now. He was family. I could never leave him…_this was my dad we were talking about._

"I love you so much, Uncle Charlie," I choked out as I leaned over the bed and hugged him tightly.

I felt as he held me with all his might, his weak arms finding strength in that moment. "I love you. I love you, always," he chanted softly, repeating his words over and over.

**O.o**

Seth's car pulled up to the front doors of the hospital, and he got out and opened the door for me so I could climb in.

"How are you holdin' up?" he asked when he got back into his side, putting the car in drive and pulling out.

I offered him a smile before I turned to look out the window. "He's doing better."

I saw from the corner of my eye as he shook his head. "I wasn't asking about Mr. Swan, Bella."

I couldn't help but give him a real smile as I turned back to look at him, my head resting tiredly on the back of the seat. "I do love you, kid."

"Yeah," he said as he looked out at the street before us. "I kind of love you, too. You know, if you're into that sort of thing."

I laughed and punched his leg. "You better love me. I'm the best thing since sliced bread."

"I guess you're okay." He turned his head for a second and gave me a toothy smile. "But really…"

"Oh God," I groaned out. "Who told you?" I was really hoping to keep Edward's and my drama from affecting our family.

"Give me a little credit here, old maid. I do live with the guy."

"Yeah?" I asked softly. "Is he okay?"

He laughed out. "Bella, that man is anything but okay. And man, that witch of a woman was over yesterday. I don't know how he was married to her for as long as he was."

"Seth, can I ask you a question?"

"Uh, sure…" he responded, sounding thrown off by my change in topics.

"Are you okay?" I made sure that my eyes met his when he glanced at me. I wanted him to know that I was being completely serious. If anyone's life had just turned upside down, it was his.

He took a minute to answer, fidgeting in his seat and looking out the window. "Um," he started. "Yeah, Bella. You know, I really am."

He spared me a smile, but it quickly fell as he looked back out at the road.

"It's okay to miss them," I said softly.

He didn't respond.

"Do you want to go see them?" I asked as I played with my hands in my lap. I wasn't sure what I wanted his answer to be. Was I trying to replace them? Was I trying to be what his mother wasn't? It wasn't right of me to do that, I knew, but deep down, I wanted him as my own. I wanted what wasn't mine.

He looked uncomfortable, and I felt bad bringing it up, but it needed to be discussed.

"I miss the idea of them. I miss what my dad used to be," he answered, refusing to look my way. "I wish it was different."

I took in a deep breath. "Yeah," I voiced. "Me, too."

"Do you think they'll ever change?" His tone sounded hopeful, and I wanted to have that hope for him, but I just couldn't.

"Jacob and Vanessa are in a bad place right now," I started out hesitantly, "but they will always love you. They just don't know how to show it, how to take care of you."

"Damn-it, Bella. They're adults! They're supposed to have their shit together!" he shouted, punching the steering wheel.

"Trust me, when I was your age, I thought adults had it all together, too. People just don't grow up sometimes."

He pulled at his hair in frustration, as I saw his body literally vibrate with anger.

"Was he like that back then? Did you know him when you were my age?"

"Your dad?" I asked, even though I knew that was who he was referring to. "I only met him a few times. Seth, if you have questions about him, Edward is the one to ask. They grew up together."

"Yeah," he sighed. "I tried asking him."

"Did it not go over well?" I asked, not thinking Edward would refuse Seth the questions that he had.

"Edward hates my dad." He looked over at me as if it were obvious.

"I know."

"Do you know why?"

"Honestly, honey, I don't really remember. It was a long time ago."

He just nodded and accepted my answer for face value. "I'm just glad you and Edward aren't like that."

"Oh, kid, if you think Edward and I have our shit figured out, you are surely mistaken." I offered him a humorless chuckle, shaking my head back and forth.

He glanced at me, giving me a look of assurance. "That's not what I meant."

I waited for him to continue.

"I don't know," he said, as if he suddenly felt awkward. "I just trust you guys."

I couldn't call Seth my own; I wasn't his mother…but I knew then, in that moment as his shoulders relaxed and his tone was even…that was enough. I was enough for him. Even in some of my most broken moments, I was there. He trusted me.

And that was something I would never let change.

**O.o**

It was going on six that night when Seth and I pulled up to Charlie's house. I had only been home once since he had his heart attack, and it felt weird walking through the front door. It felt like something was missing, as if it wasn't a home if Charlie wasn't in it.

"Hey, Bella," Seth called from the kitchen right as I was about to take the first step up the stairs to go shower.

"Yeah, kid?" I called, waiting at the bottom of the staircase for him to answer me.

"Um, wanna come here for a second?"

I sighed heavily and moved my tired body into the next room.

"What is it?" I asked from the doorway, leaning against the wall frame.

He held up a white sheet of paper, reading it again before holding it out to me. "I think this is for you."

With my interest suddenly piqued, I pushed off the wall and took the few steps towards him, grabbing the note from his hands.

_Whenever you read this, I'll be there waiting for you._

_-Edward_

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I thought out loud and looked up at Seth.

He just shrugged his shoulders, offering no guidance whatsoever.

"Psh," I scoffed. "What good are ya, kid?"

"Hey!" He laughed. "This is your baby-mama-drama, not mine."

After I rolled my eyes at his ridiculous comment, I read the note again.

"Where is 'there'?" I asked more to myself, but of course Seth had to answer.

"I don't know. Do y'all have a secret hangout spot or something?"

My heart stopped.

"What did you say?" I looked up, trying to hear his words differently… Edward and I haven't gone there together since our last night in 1987.

"A secret spot? You know…where the magic happens…" He wiggled his eyebrows, and if he wasn't across the counter, I would have punched him.

"You're too young to know about any magic shenanigans…" I hinted, to which he just laughed.

"Yeah, okay, Bella. Well, when you get back from 1950, maybe you can figure out what he is referring to."

I sighed heavily, already knowing the answer.

"You think he'll still be there after I shower?" I said, half kidding, looking up at him hopefully.

"Do you want to chance it?" He returned my look with a raised brow.

"Damn-it," I voiced, grabbing the keys to my Prius and heading towards the door. "You're on your own for dinner!" I called out from the doorway.

"I'll live!" he yelled back, and that was all I heard before I took off down the porch steps and through the front yard.

I remembered my drive from when I had visited there earlier this summer. Honestly, the route was probably engraved into my mind, burned there from our visits there all those years ago.

This time, though, I didn't know what would be waiting for me. I wasn't sure what he would say, if he really was there at all. When did he even leave the note? How long would he wait there for me before he left?

And it really came down to the question…was I worth waiting for?

After this many years, I really, really hoped so.

I tried to control my breathing as I stopped at the red lights, made the right turns, drove not-at-all patiently through the streets. I couldn't tell you which song was playing on the radio; I didn't even remember making half the turns I did.

All I could focus on was my breathing; all I could think about was him.

If he wanted me. If what we went through was worth it. If I would ever be enough for him.

I made the last turn that I needed, going down the gravel road, watching as the sun hung low in the sky, the summer nearing its end as the days got shorter and shorter. My chest was tight as I put the car in park.

But when I looked out at the field – our field – and I saw him against our tree, waiting for me...there for me...

I just knew.

Our lives weren't storybook perfect. We would never have a conclusive, constant happy-ever-after.

But he was here. Really, he had been here for two decades, waiting for me to return. And when I climbed out of my car and walked over to where he stood, to where we stood all those years ago, I was certain...

There was where I was supposed to be all along.

…

**END NOTES **

**Don't fret your little hearts out; their story isn't over yet. **

**Oh, and if you have time, I was nominated for two Tomato Soup Awards (best beta and SW's best Charlie). I would really appreciate your vote! **

**Lots of questions answered in this chapter…what did you think? Please review! :) **


	29. Chapter 29

**AN—**

**Sorry for the wait. I really appreciate your patience! **

**Once again, I have to thank the wonderful people who help me along the way! My beta, Ginginlee, & my prereaders, lizzylillyrose, morethanmyself, & sammielynnsmom. I seriously love you guys! **

**I hope you know I read and cherish every review… I'm sorry I don't respond like I should. But my readers are why I continue to put hours into this story. You blow me away with your kind words and dedication! **

**And also to Illicitwriter, who makes the most beautiful chapter pic teases, thank you. I'm forever hanging onto you and your talents! **

**At last… the last 1987 chapter… **

…

_Edward,_

_Has it already been a week since I've gone, since you've started your new life? It seems impossible that I have gone seven whole days without feeling your hand in mine, your lips against my lips. Does it seem this way for you? I don't think my heart understands that it's no longer in North Carolina. My mother asked about you, who that boy was when she pulled up to the house earlier than expected. I wanted to tell her everything, but somehow I felt that I would be losing a part of you if I did. You're mine. The memories that we made are just ours. Will sharing those moments discredit them in any way? I'm still trying to figure that out. What are your thoughts?_

_Tell me about school, your classes, your new friends. Is it as grand as you expected? I'm sure you are doing great things._

_I love you; I miss you. Write me back soon._

_Yours always,_

_Bella._

…

_Bella,_

_Great things, huh? I'm not too sure about that. I think the greatest thing I ever did was you. (Pun intended? Bad joke?) Oh well, this is in pen…can't erase._

_But I miss you, too, baby. Things are so different here, ya know? It's no longer Clayton, which I haven't quite decided is a good or bad thing. Even though it has only been two weeks (yes, sorry it has taken me so long to write back to you), I feel that I've been here for so much longer. Classes are harder than I expected, but it's a good challenge. I finally feel like I'm worth something here, like I can be worth something. They keep telling us how important we are, about how the future is in the hands of this generation. I can actually make a difference, Bella! It's amazing! Back home life was so simple. Here, there are a whirlwind of possibilities. I have no limits._

_Jasper, my new roommate, is okay. I'm still unsure about him. You would probably like him, though. This is why you will never meet…I don't want to risk the competition ;)_

_So you didn't tell your mother about me? I'm a secret for only you to keep? Not sure how I feel about that, baby. Don't you want to tell the world that you're in love with a true southern man? Those Yankees can't compare. You should tell them all, write it on your forehead. TAKEN. That's what you are. You are mine._

_I love you. I miss you._

_Sometimes I wake up, and it still feels like summer. Why aren't you here?_

_Edward_

…

_Edward,_

_Write it on my forehead? Are you kidding? Besides, you forgot that I'm a Yankee myself. No need for your unwarranted hostility! (Do you like my big words? I figured they were okay since you're in college now and all). But you are right, boys here don't compare. No one compares. But you knew that already. No sense in giving you a big head. Someone has to keep you humble!_

_I loved getting your letter yesterday. As you can tell, I'm clearly not as busy as you are since I don't take so long to write back! You can thank my mediocre (another big word!) education system. Right now I'm in math. Calculus, actually. Still unsure of why I will ever need to know this stuff. Don't we learn all of our important life lessons under a tree in a field down south? Or was that only me? You let me know…_

_I can't wait to be done with this year. I'm ready for next summer again. I'm impatient, but I miss you. I'm rethinking of spending it with my mother. Maybe she won't have that big of a panic attack if I tell her I want to go back. Besides, Uncle Charlie is basically my father. Maybe she'll understand._

_So, are you going out and meeting a lot of people? I'm sure everybody just loves you, since you're always such the life of the party. Maybe you're the one that needs to write 'TAKEN' on their forehead. You can never trust girls, you know; trust me._

_September isn't nearly as amazing as August, July, and June were. Maybe I'm biased, but fall just sucks. It's getting cold here, thanks to my awesome geographical location (Man, I'm on a roll today!). Just one more thing about the North that is lacking._

_Okay, just got in trouble by my teacher…that's my cue to wrap it up._

_I love you,_

_Bella._

…

_Bella,_

_Geographical location; mediocre; unwarranted hostility. Maybe you're the one that needs to be in college. I'm impressed._

_And yes, I have met a lot of new people. And yes, I've told them about you. We should get our matching 'Taken' tattoos when you come back down here. When is that again?_

_I'm waiting for you._

_Sorry this is short…studying for my first exam._

_Love you,_

_Edward._

…

_Edward,_

_My mother is against tattoos. I'm willing to break the rules if you are. How did your first exam go? You sounded really busy when I tried to call the other night. I know it's too expensive to talk more than once a week, but I wish we could. Oh, and I'm kind of afraid for my mom to get the phone bill next month. If you don't hear from me, send the police._

_I'm jealous that you're meeting new people. Everyone here is exactly the same. I just don't feel connected to any of them. Does that make sense? It's as if they don't know me anymore. I just feel so different…in a good way, of course._

_I started crying in my science class because we were talking about rivers, which made me think of you. They thought I was crazy. Do you think I'm crazy? I still just can't believe I miss you this much. It's almost suffocating._

_Too much to say in a letter? Does that freak you out? I don't think it will… besides, you know me. You know this. Right?_

_Tell me I'm not crazy._

_Sincerely yours,_

_Crazy Lady_

…

_Crazy Lady,_

_You are crazy. But I love you, anyway. You can thank me later._

_I do miss you, though. I don't cry about it like you do, but it's still there. I'm trying to figure out how to not miss you so much._

_Today, in one of my history classes, we were learning about the Romans and their legislation system. It was fascinating. I still feel like I can do so much more than what I'm doing. Like, who am I in the grand scheme of things? Some kid? Someone who will never make a difference? I want to make a difference. I want to be important._

_I want to do more than what I'm doing. However, I'm not sure how to go about that yet. I'm still thinking about law school. I want to be in a courtroom, defending people, helping people. Who knows, maybe I'll even become a prosecutor and get all the evil men off the streets. I'll start with the ones who hit on you. You should make a list._

_I met someone really cool the other day. Her name is Emma. She's in my history class with me. You would really like her. She laughs like you do._

_Have you told your mom about me yet? I hate being kept a secret._

_I love you…_

_Edward._

…

_Edward,_

_When will you see that you already make a difference in the lives of others by just being? Aren't I a good enough example? My life will never be the same because of you. If it ends up ruining me, and making me even crazier, I'll send you the bill for my therapy. You'd be able to afford it, right? Being a hot-shot lawyer and all._

_Emma sounds…cool? I guess. She laughs like me? I have a stupid laugh. That's quite unfortunate for her, then. You can give her my condolences. Any new guy friends? I like those better. I don't think you realize the way girls look at you. And didn't we already cover that girls are not to be trusted? They'll suck you dry…okay, maybe that came out wrong. Damn pen. But you get what I mean._

_So far October has sucked even more than September had. I didn't think that would be even possible. So, have you figured out how to miss me less? I would like to be clued into your secret. And if the secret is Emma, maybe you can send her up here. Just a thought._

_I'm ready to see you again. I think you should come find me._

_Yours,_

_Bella_

…

_Dearest Bella,_

_Is that jealousy I detect? You have no need to worry about Emma. At the rate I talk about you, I bet she knows you just as well as me. And also…your laugh doesn't suck. It's charming. (Yes, I'm laughing as I write this)._

_Oh, and I'm really sorry that your mom freaked out the other day. I wished I could have helped make you feel better on the phone. I know that was our last one in a while, but we'll figure out a way. I promise, that's not the last time you'll hear my voice._

_My mom wants me to come home for our fall break. I don't think I'm going to go. It just feels empty there now, or, at least, that is how I think it would feel. I have yet to be back. Hmm, sounds like someone else I know. Have you talked to your mom about next summer yet? It just feels so far away… You feel so far away._

_Love,_

_Edward_

…

_Edward,_

_I'm not that far away. I'm right here._

_You know where to find me._

_I love you,_

_Bella_

…

_Bella,_

_Sorry it has been so long…again. I know, I'm a terrible boyfriend. You should fire me._

_Midterms suck, let me tell ya. There is so much expectation. Do you ever feel like you're drowning under the pressure? I just can't…think…about anything else. It's getting to be too much._

_Emma says hi, by the way. She's sitting next to me in the library as I write this._

_I saw Rachel on campus the other day. It was so weird. It was the first time I had seen her around. She seems to be settling in well, made a lot of new friends. She wants to meet up later this week, but I don't have time. I barely have time to sleep anymore. I spend more nights at the library here with our study group than I do in my own dorm. Trust me, enjoy the last year of high school while you can. Life after is just so different._

_Priorities change. Views change._

_Still miss me?_

_Edward_

…

_Edward,_

_I know college is hard, but don't lose yourself in the process._

_Do you remember the night when you first snuck up to my room at Charlie's? For some reason, I thought about that today, and I couldn't remember something…I literally spent all day trying to remember a detail about that night. When that night happened, I remembered thinking that I could never forget it. It's like things are fading, the lines becoming more gray, less defined. I'm worried that someday I won't remember._

_Tell me I won't forget. You'll remind me, won't you?_

_I don't want to forget you._

_Bella_

…

_Bella,_

_I know what you mean. I was telling my buddy about you the other day, and it slipped my mind what color your eyes were. It was just stuck in my throat. Of course I know that they are brown…I looked into them enough times to know that._

_But I get it…I do. Summer was so long ago. We were so long ago._

_Edward_

_PS – my eyes are blue, in case you've forgotten._

…

_Edward,_

_Your eyes are blue? I thought they were green…my mistake…_

_It's weird that the season-change is in full swing now. There are almost no leaves left on the tress. All the oranges, yellows, reds, all bled together to this ugly brown, falling, forgotten, to the ground, their beauty no longer admired._

_That isn't symbolic to us, right?_

_Bella_

…

_Bella,_

_The memories are starting to not be enough anymore. Every day it gets harder. I feel that much farther away from you. I feel guilty for saying this…maybe this is why I haven't written in a couple weeks._

_But after your last letter, you haven't written me, either. I think you know how I feel._

_Tell me I'm crazy. Tell me that I know you, that I know what we are. Tell me that what I'm feeling will go away, that I'll see you again. We said we would work it out, figure out a way._

_Bella, I just can't help but feel that this way isn't working. I've saved all the letters you've written…I've read them over and over again. We need to figure out a new way. We can do that, right? Aren't we worth it?_

_Aren't we worth fighting for?_

_Edward_

…

_Edward,_

_I don't really know how to respond to your last letter. When I first read it, I was so angry at you. How could you have said those things? But then I got it…I've been feeling that way, too. I just didn't know it yet. Sometimes, when I start thinking about you, I try to think of something else. It's easier that way._

_I don't know what to do, Edward. I don't know how to make this be enough. I can't offer anymore of myself. I'm already feeling like I'm barely hanging onto my life._

_I don't want you to be just a memory; I want you to be in my life. I don't have an answer for you; I don't have a way to fix this. I just know that I love you. Being 500 miles away doesn't change that for me. Did it change it for you? Don't walk away…not yet. Let me keep you for a little bit longer._

_Bella_

…

_Bella,_

_I'm so sorry…I never meant our phone call to end that way, but after I was home for Thanksgiving, I just knew I couldn't do this anymore. We were fooling ourselves when we said we could make it work. I'm just sorry we kept it up for so long, stringing along each other into what…what is there for us?_

_I hope you can still figure out a way to come next summer…I want to see you again. This is hard for me, too, Bella. I loved you…I still love you…but we can't live like this anymore. You need to be a teenager, enjoy your life, love those around you, and honestly, I need to do the same._

_I know you said I was walking away, and maybe that's what I'm doing, but I really do think this is the best thing for us. We can't continue to have a relationship where we can't see each other, talk to each other, just _be_ with each other. I miss you…I still miss you, but this is my way of figuring out how to not miss you so much._

_Every letter that you send just hurts now. You don't know how badly I want to be there with you…but I can't. You know that, don't you? That I wish things were different, that I wish we could change our situation. But maybe it's like this for a reason… Maybe you'll come back to me, after all._

_But right now, for both of us, I need to end it. I need to walk away._

_I'm so sorry, baby._

_Edward_

**O.o**

The late August sun shined through the windows, and when the knock sounded again, I left the kitchen where Uncle Charlie and I were standing to go over and answer it. I couldn't believe I was about to say goodbye to Edward...could I really leave him? Was the summer already over? My feet were heavy as I walked, and the pain from holding in my tears was almost unbearable. It was like someone was pulling at me with a string, unraveling me piece by piece. Was I really strong enough for this? I tried to think what tomorrow would feel like, a week from now, even a month from this moment. Would I be stronger? Would it hurt less?

Turing the brass doorknob, I pulled open the door and saw the top of Edward's head, his eyes turned down to watch his feet. He didn't lift his face when he heard me on the other side; he didn't motion for me to join him out on the porch; he didn't do anything.

I opened the screen door as much as I could and squeezed out of the small space as not to hit him.

"Edward," I started, and the cracking of my voice got him to lift his head. What I saw was almost worse than any of the pain I could feel next week…a month from now. This was worse. This would be the worst of it…it had to be. His eyes were red, strained, and there wasn't the littlest hint of a smile to be found.

This was what we had set ourselves up for. Hadn't we known this moment was coming all along?

Didn't we do this to ourselves?

"Are you going to talk to me?" I asked, playing with my hands that were resting in front of me as I rocked back and forth on my heels.

Without his face changing at all, he took a step forwards and wrapped his arms around me. "Why are we doing this again?" he said, even though I could barely hear him with my head tucked into his chest.

"The summer's over." I held onto him tighter.

He took a deep breath in and then released it slowly.

"I don't want to leave," I added on. "Can't we run away? Stay together? Forget about everything else?"

After kissing my forehead, he pulled back and said, "Charlie would kill me." Finally, I saw the corner of his mouth lift up, even if it was just the smallest amount.

"He would get over it, don't you think? He just wants me to be happy."

This time, he smiled at me sadly. "Just because you're leaving doesn't mean you'll never be happy again. This is just a bump in the road for us."

"You think so?"

"Sure," he said. "Besides, what's a little distance in the grand scheme of things?"

It was my turn to smile, and I nodded a few times, trying to find it within me to agree with me.

"So this isn't it for us?"

"Do you think I'd let you slip away that easily?"

I brought my face back to his chest and hugged him with all my strength. "Just don't forget about me."

"Come on," he said, stepping away and taking my hand, leading me off the porch.

"Where are we going?" I asked, knowing that he didn't have much time before he had to get back to his parents and leave for school.

"Just to the backyard… Maybe we can take one last ride." He looked back at me and winked, and if we were in any different situation, I would have said something smart back, but alas, we weren't, so I just smiled back and squeezed his hand.

I would miss his hands.

I would miss the weight of them against my palm, the rough skin against my own.

I shook my head out of my thoughts and tried to enjoy this last moment and not to worry too much about the future. We would make it work.

His deep voice called out to me, bringing me out of my thoughts as we reached the stables, and he helped me saddle up the horse and climb up, him climbing on behind me.

"You ready?" he asked, and I only nodded in response.

When we were lying beneath the tree on the far side of Charlie's land, I could hold in the tears no longer.

"Baby," he said, wiping them from my face. "Please, please stop. I can't…I can't see you like this."

I wanted to stop. I wanted to not feel the pain, not experience my heart cracking, feeling like it was no longer beating.

"Don't go…" I shot up from the ground and twisted around to look at him.

"What?" he started, shaking his head in confusion.

"I'm serious, Edward. We don't have to do this. We don't have to end like this." My voice was upbeat, definitely on board with this idea.

"Bella," he just said again.

"We can go somewhere, be together, start a life with one another. To me, that sounds like a hell of a lot better idea than leaving! Don't you think? Can't you see us together?"

He sat up along with me and grazed my cheek with the back of his fingertips. "We don't live in a fantasy world, baby…"

For some reason, in that moment, it really crashed down upon me when I looked at his face, which was still like a statue.

"Edward?" I whispered, pulling back a bit.

He just shook his head and moved to his knees, pulling me back. "No, we're not going there… This isn't about running away; it's not about giving up or changing the course of our lives. I love you, Bella, but that has to be enough for right now. I have to go to college, and you have to go back to Ohio. That's just the way it has to be right now. That doesn't mean that is how our lives are going to be forever. You just got to trust in us, baby. Do you trust me?"

I searched his blue eyes for meaning behind them, for something to hold onto.

"Yes," I finally said, because the truth was, I did.

He leaned in and kissed my lips, holding my face to his so tightly that it was almost painful.

"I love you," he said. "I love you. I love you."

The tears streamed down my cheeks, but it didn't stop him, and when I lifted my hands to his face, I could feel his tears, too.

"I love you," I said back, knowing I meant every word, and knowing, deep down, that the truth behind that statement was worth all the pain, all the tears, all the heartache.

Because, in the end, he was worth it.

We were worth it. And we would make it…we had to.

**O.o**

_Edward,_

_Did you ever write a letter, knowing beforehand that you would never send it? Well, that is what this is for me right now. Not because I don't want you to see the words on the page or to even talk to you for that matter, but that's not the point. I just need to say this…and who knows, maybe one day I'll find it in my drawer, tucked away with all my other memories of that summer, and I'll send it to you on a whim. Wouldn't that be something?_

_Anyway, it's been a month since we've last talked, since you ended things, told me it was too hard. And I just wanted to say that I forgive you._

_I understand why you did it. It was too hard for me, too. No matter how hard I wanted to hang onto you, I knew deep down that it wasn't working. But it doesn't mean that I've stopped loving you…I could never stop loving you…and I'm confident in the fact that is how you feel, too._

_I got your last letter, and I've read it every night since then. I'm not sure how long I'll keep reading it, however long it takes, I suppose. Wasn't us "breaking up" supposed to give us closure, help us move on with our lives? Why is it that I still feel stagnant? I'm not any happier from the day we said goodbye…_

_I still miss you with every breath, with every memory that jumps into my mind. I hope you know how much you meant to me, how you changed my life irrevocably._

_I just wish things could be different._

_Today is December 31st…the last day of 1987. I'm almost wary of the clock reaching midnight. Are you going to be looking at it and thinking the same thing I am? That this really is it. Our year in the past, our lives moving forward without our consent._

_As much as I want to hang on, I can't, so I guess this is it…my final goodbye. This is me letting go, moving on._

_I'm sorry. I miss you._

_I love you… always._

_Yours,_

_Bella_

…

**END NOTES – **

**Phew, okay, now that that's done… happy times ahead.**

**Only the Epilogue left. I'm personally ready for their ending. Don't you agree? **

**Thanks as always for reading, and please review!**


	30. Chapter 30: Epilogue

**This is my last chapter, so please take a second and let me say a few words…**

**I can't believe it's over – I remember the exact moment I had the idea for this story and I wrote it as a Note in my blackberry. I have enjoyed the entire process of taking my imagination and putting it into words, and I hope you have, too! I can't listen to the song without seeing the river, Edward in the stables, or the last goodbye, and I feel so blessed to have gotten to share that with you all. **

**So, to my devoted readers, thank you for reading! That's all an author really wants anyway. To my reviewers, you have been so positive and uplifting in your responses that it made me want to keep writing, and I thank you for the encouragement! I never thought SW would get as far as it did! And to everyone who rec'd this on a website, twitter, facebook, or to just a friend, thank you! I always do a double take when I see SW mentioned on these various sites; I'm still trying to get it in my head that I'm not the only one immersed in the crazy world of Clayton, NC. **

**Okay, now I have some special people to thank – Skip on if you want, but they deserve some real thanks and acknowledgment. **

**Lizzylillyrose – My sweet, sweet friend. You have been on board since the beginning when I first chatted you about this idea and asked you for 1987 ideas. You have been such a rock to me through this whole process, and I hope you know how much I appreciate your honest words and encouragement. And yes…the lemons…you dirty, dirty mastermind! ;) **

**Ginginlee – My darling, beautiful beta. I hope you know that I trust you with my words, and I'm so grateful that you fix them for me! You have been an amazing gift in this process, and I can't wait to work with you again! Thank you for your hard work, even through your pregnancy and the first few months of being a new mom! I would have dropped me, but you stayed faithful and diligent! I'm so grateful!**

**Morethanmyself – My lovely Kimberly, you are such a source of beautiful encouragement! With each chapter, you always made sure to tell me when you thought I was doing something right while also being critical when I needed you to be. You are an asset that I truly appreciate, and your ideas along the way really helped me spin the storyline into something worth reading! Thank you! **

**SammieLynnsMom – My amazing, talented Kelly, your honest reactions and truthful words changed the direction of this fic multiple times, and it was better for it. I knew I could always expect your straight up opinion, and I hope you know how much that meant to me. You are such a wonderful person, and I love our working relationship and our friendship. Thank you for rec'ing SW and really being the one to first get it out there. I owe you more than just a thank you as a prereader. **

**IllicitWriter – My talented, creative beauty, SW was brought to life in images because of your hard work in the chapter teases! Each week, I was speechless in how you captured the moment perfectly! It was like you took it from my head, and I'm so thankful that you put up with me and worked so hard! A thank you just doesn't fit! **

**Okay, so for the last time, I don't own anything Twilight or the song **_**Strawberry Wine. **_**No copyright infringement was intended. **

**Chapter 30 – 2012**

It was one of those rare moments when my mind woke before my body, and I was conscious even though I was completely still, the only movement being the heavy, steady rise and fall of my chest. I loved when this happened, being able to hear the sounds around me while being under the pretense of deep slumber. It was almost my only source of quiet moments these days.

I heard the loud slaps of feet above our heads, and I marveled that even on the first day of summer, the boys couldn't find it in them to sleep a few extra hours. Okay, so maybe it wasn't _exactly_ summer yet; we still had one important event before it was summer vacation for everybody in our household.

The bed shifted beside me, and before I could get my own limbs to work, I felt Edward's body wrap around mine.

"I know you're awake," he whispered in my ear, and, try as I might, I couldn't keep my lips from smiling. "Ah," he continued, "there's my girl."

I took a deep breath in, waking up fully, and twisting in his arms so I was on my back, my head turned to face him. "Hi," I muttered, eyes still closed.

Humming, he kissed my forehead and then my eyelids, moving down further along the line of my cheek to my neck. I was surprised as he shifted above me; he usually wasn't so forward with the whole family in the house.

"Are you ready for today?" I asked, trying not to get to into what he was doing. It just wasn't feasible right now…anyone could walk in on us.

"Ready?" he scoffed, smiling as his head turned up so he could look at me. "Baby, I'm so excited."

I felt how genuine he was being, and it put the butterflies right back into my stomach. Today was such a big day for all of us. And, as if right on cue, a loud crash came from outside our door, causing both our heads to snap to the sound.

"I really hope that wasn't my mother's vase," I said, scooting out from under Edward as he rolled off the bed and put a pair of sweat pants over his boxers.

"How much do you want to bet it was Charlie?" He laughed, and I turned to give him one last look before I opened our door and walked out into the hallway.

"But I want it!"

"Dad already said it was mine!"

"You kids need to stop before you wake them both up!"

I rolled my eyes as I heard Uncle Charlie scolding Lana and Patrick in the kitchen right before I walked in. I swear, Charlie was almost as much a kid as they were these days. But it was good for him; he was actually happy.

"What broke?" I asked, stepping up to them and kissing Patrick on the top of his head since he was the closest to me.

"He did it!" Charlie immediately accused, pointing his finger at Pat as if he was the nine-year-old.

"DID NOT!" Pat yelled back.

"Come on, Patrick, that's not how you speak to your elders." Lana laughed at her own quip as she flipped the pancakes in the skillet.

"But, Bella, I really didn't break it, I swear!" Pat urged.

"Break what?" I tried again, walking around them to start the coffee pot.

They were all quiet, and when I turned around, all of their heads were down.

"What did Charlie break?" Edward asked as he came into the kitchen, sitting down on a stool at the island next to Charlie.

Charlie just rolled his eyes, eating his whole wheat – yes, he was kept on a strict diet – toast. "Watch it, kid," he grumbled. "I can still take you."

Edward smiled up at the old man and patted his shoulder. "Wouldn't doubt it."

He winked at me when he caught me watching their exchange. It was still somewhat surreal, watching them interact so casually. It shouldn't have, though; they were family.

"BELLA!" I heard my name being yelled from the back part of the house. A couple months after Charlie had his heart attacks, we sold his house and moved into Edward's after Edward, Seth, and Emmett built the addition. There was now enough space for everyone…and then some.

"What!" I yelled back, not bothering to move from my perch against the counter.

"What the hell am I supposed to wear to this thing?"

I heard both Edward and Charlie chuckle, while I just shrugged my shoulders. Hell if I knew. "It's your graduation, Seth. Wear what you want!" I decided on, and everyone in the family looked up at me with surprised faces.

"What?" I asked, shrugging my shoulders.

"That's a very cool mom thing to do, Bella," Lana said as she finished cooking breakfast.

"Eh, he'll be in a black robe anyway." And on that thought… "Just don't wear shit shoes!" I yelled towards Seth's room and laughed when I heard his groan.

"Can I say 'shit'?" Patrick's voice sounded from behind me, and I mentally cursed myself. I was really trying to work on my language.

"No," Edward, Lana, Charlie, and I all said at the same time.

"Not till you're old," Edward added on.

"Hey!" I said in my defense. "Who are you calling old, buddy?"

"Own up to it, baby. It's time," he said, dodging the banana I threw his way.

"So I have to be a married with kids to say it?" Patrick continued his questions.

Edward and I just looked at each other and smiled. Today wasn't just a big day for Seth.

"Yeah, that's a good rule," I voiced after our exchanged glances.

"Damn," Patrick sighed, and I think Edward and I both knew that this was a losing battle.

…

I tried so hard not to cry, but, really, it was inevitable. Seth had been my baby for the last two years, living with us and becoming my son. Even though he was eighteen now, Edward and I had legally adopted him last year. We both knew that family was a lifetime commitment, and he was officially a part of ours.

He was secure in the fact that even though his biological parents weren't there for him, his dad being in jail now and his mother running off to Vegas, he had us to come home to. I didn't even want to think about him going off to college in the fall…

When the graduating seniors' names were called, I was that lady who broke the rules and stood up and clapped for their kid. I didn't feel as bad since Edward was standing right along with me, whistling loudly. The smile that graced Seth's face made it all worth it, though.

"Jesus, Bella," Seth muttered as I flung my arms around him after the ceremony. "No need to cry, old maid." He chuckled, but he hugged me back, maybe even holding on more tightly than I was.

"I'm so proud of you," I said as I stepped away, wiping my cheeks with the back of my hand.

"Yeah, I guess I did okay." He smiled sheepishly as Edward walked up to us and wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

"Well, step one done," he said. "Now, your very last summer before college. What are you going to do with it?" Edward squeezed my shoulder in acknowledgment while Seth's cheeks turned pink.

"Um, actually," Seth started as he looked around him. "I was thinking about asking Rebecca to marry me."

"WHAT!" Edward and I both said at the same time, our faces falling into one of shock.

"Come on," Seth continued, "it wouldn't be that bad. Besides, she's who I want to spend the rest of my life with; why shouldn't I ask her?"

I think I was still in shock mode, as I stood there with my mouth wide open, but Edward seemed to snap to it relatively quickly.

"Well," Edward started, "I support you."

This got my attention. "Really?" Seth and I said at the same time, looking at him, wide-eyed.

He just shrugged his shoulders. "Honestly, if I could do it again, I wouldn't even hesitate."

"What do you mean?" Seth asked, not knowing the full story of Edward's and my past.

This time, Edward looked at me as he spoke. "I should have run away with you. I should have chosen you. But instead, we went twenty-three years without being together. So, yes," he said, turning to look back at Seth, "if I could do it again, I would have chosen Bella. I don't think you're making a mistake by committing to Rebecca. I actually think it's really respectable."

"Wow, um, thanks, Edward. That means a lot."

Edward just smiled as he clapped down on Seth's shoulder. "So…be honest…is she pregnant?"

For some reason, I burst out laughing while Seth just looked mortified. "No!" he said. "At least…I don't think…"

"My God," I mumbled. "I am way too sober to be having this conversation."

"No drinking today, baby," Edward said after he winked at Seth.

"And why is that?" I countered, looking at my husband pointedly.

"Because we have one more stop to make before we go home, and I'm pretty sure you want to be completely sober for this event."

I smiled at him as our hands intertwined. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

"I thought we couldn't get her until tonight!" Seth interrupted, his voice lifting from his excitement.

"I talked to Peggy this morning, actually, and," he looked at his watch, "we have about two more hours until everything is settled."

Without even hesitating, I shot up on my toes and threw my arms around Edward's neck, kissing him hard as tears once again pooled in my eyes.

Annesley Alexandra was born on January 28, 2012 into a home with an abusive father and drug addicted mother. She was almost immediately removed and put into the foster care system. After Edward and I had gotten married in June 2011, we knew that we wanted to have children. However, it just wasn't possible for me to get pregnant, and after adopting Seth, we had our hearts set on expanding our family that way again.

It was an expensive, long process, but when we found out about Annesley, we knew she was meant to be ours. She had ten fingers and ten toes, crystal blue eyes, and dark, curly hair. I swear she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. She was perfect.

And today, I got to take my little girl home.

"Are you ready, baby?" he asked as we pulled away from our embrace.

"Yeah," I said, feeling as if I was floating on air. "Let's go get our daughter…"

…

It was sad how usually our first love and our first heartbreak coincided with each other. Young, pure emotions shattered by the realities of life. It wasn't fair how we scarred the memories of our first romance with the pain of its ending. Our first love was supposed to be a monumental movement, a transition of sorts between the innocence of childhood and the demands of being an adult.

Life had a way of moving along without our consent. It didn't pause, rewind, or fast forward. It had its own schedule, one that we must abide by. Fighting time wasn't an option. But I have learned that time and life weren't at battle with each other. Life, fate, destiny were all set in time…and it all worked out for us in the end.

Throughout my life, I had chosen to believe that love, in all forms, was a part of our destiny. He was a part of my destiny…

We went through periods, ages, decades, where we thought we knew everything, that we had it all figured out, and then something happened that threw us completely off course, changing our lives forever.

When I was seventeen, I made a decision to come visit my uncle for the summer, expecting a simple summer away from home. What I got was so much more than that.

I fell in love, fell out of love, laughed, cried, mourned, rejoiced, moved on and stayed in the moment. But the rest of my life, I couldn't escape that one summer. And as I held my daughter in my arms with my husband's arms wrapped around me, in our house that held our very untraditional family, I knew that I was never supposed to escape it.

This was where I was supposed to be all along, and I finally made it home.

…

**THE END. **

**You can follow me on twitter to find out my future writing activities and general everyday nonsense: kas90_**

**You can alert me if you want the outtakes – they will be posted separately from this. The poll for Edward's POV will be closed at the end of this week. You can vote on my profile. **

**All right, I'll ask one last time… please review…this is most likely my last multi-chaptered fic, and I would like it to go out with a bang! **

**Thank you. Love to you all! **

**Xoxo - Kas**


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